Nowadays, a variety of English learners, especially students in Viet Nam cannot strike up conversation well in English with foreigners in spite of long learning. In recent years, a significant portion of the population has a strong belief that English should be taught by native teachers in order to boost the quality of English education in Viet Nam. In my humble opinion, I partly agree with this assertion. This essay will discuss several reasons in favor of my perspectives.
Nowadays, a variety of English learners, especially students in Viet Nam cannot strike up conversation well in English with foreigners in spite of long learning. In recent years, a significant portion of the population has a strong belief that English should be taught by native teachers in order to boost the quality of English education in Viet Nam. In my humble opinion, I partly agree with this assertion. This essay will discuss several reasons in favor of my perspectives.
To begin with, people should recognise that there are plenty of benefits of studying with native teachers. An essential point to consider is that it firmly brings opportunities for students to be exposed to foreigners so it not only helps them learn properly but also assists them to be more confident. This means that an english teacher, who was born and raised in another country like USA or England… etc, obviously has unique native accent so when students learn english with them, they can ỉmprove their skills a lot, especially pronunciation and listening. Moreover, students do not tend to be afraid anymore when meeting foreigners. According to a recent survey, more and more english centres have invited native speakers and the fact indicated that the level of english learners improved significantly/ meaningfully with high band certificates of ielts or B1 Vstep. On top of that, one of the most necessary issues that leads to learn a language faster and more effectively is that we have to feel excited about it, due to native teachers who will transmit many cultures, customs and traditions of their countries into the lessons to make it more interesting. This is due to the fact that Vietnamese teachers cannot do as perfectly as the natives.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"people should recognise" -> "individuals should recognize"
Explanation: "Individuals" is a more formal term than "people," and "recognize" is the correct American English spelling in this context. -
"plenty of benefits" -> "numerous benefits"
Explanation: "Numerous" is a more precise and formal term than "plenty," which is somewhat colloquial and vague. -
"it firmly brings opportunities" -> "it provides opportunities"
Explanation: "Provides" is a more direct and academically appropriate verb than "brings," which can be seen as less formal. -
"be exposed to foreigners" -> "interact with native speakers"
Explanation: "Interact with native speakers" is more specific and appropriate in an academic context than the vague "be exposed to foreigners." -
"helps them to be more confident" -> "enhances their confidence"
Explanation: "Enhances their confidence" is a more formal and precise way to express the improvement in confidence. -
"an english teacher, who was born and raised in another country like USA or England… etc" -> "an English teacher from countries such as the United States or England"
Explanation: This revision avoids the informal "… etc" and uses "from countries such as" for a more formal and precise specification. -
"obviously has unique native accent" -> "naturally possesses a distinct native accent"
Explanation: "Naturally possesses" is more formal and precise than "obviously has," which can sound too casual for academic writing. -
"can ỉmprove" -> "can improve"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error in "improve." -
"do not tend to be afraid anymore" -> "no longer fear"
Explanation: "No longer fear" is a more concise and formal expression than "do not tend to be afraid anymore." -
"meaningfully" -> "significantly"
Explanation: "Significantly" is the correct adverb to use in this context, indicating a notable change or improvement. -
"high band certificates of ielts or B1 Vstep" -> "high-band certificates in IELTS or B1 VSTEP"
Explanation: Capitalizing "IELTS" and "VSTEP" correctly and using "high-band" instead of "high band" aligns with standard terminology and formatting. -
"one of the most necessary issues" -> "one of the most crucial factors"
Explanation: "Crucial factors" is a more precise and formal term than "necessary issues," which is awkwardly phrased. -
"leads to learn a language faster and more effectively" -> "facilitates learning a language more quickly and effectively"
Explanation: "Facilitates learning" is a more precise and formal way to describe the role of factors in enhancing language acquisition. -
"we have to feel excited about it" -> "it is essential to be enthusiastic about it"
Explanation: "It is essential to be enthusiastic about it" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing than "we have to feel excited about it." -
"due to native teachers who will transmit" -> "because native teachers convey"
Explanation: "Convey" is a more formal and precise verb than "transmit," and "because" is more appropriate than "due to" in this context.
These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the benefits of learning English with native teachers, which is one part of the question. However, it fails to fully explore the implications of the assertion that English should be taught by native teachers. The essay does not consider counterarguments or alternative perspectives, such as the effectiveness of non-native teachers or the importance of teaching methods over teacher nationality. This lack of comprehensive analysis limits the overall response to the prompt.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay should explicitly address all aspects of the prompt. This could involve acknowledging the potential benefits of non-native teachers, discussing the role of teaching methods, and considering the broader context of English education in Vietnam. Including a counterargument would also enrich the discussion and demonstrate critical thinking.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer states a partial agreement with the assertion that native teachers are beneficial, but the position is not consistently maintained throughout the essay. The phrase "I partly agree" is vague and does not clearly outline the writer’s stance. The essay primarily focuses on the advantages of native teachers without adequately addressing the nuances of the position.
- How to improve: To present a clearer position, the writer should explicitly state their viewpoint in the introduction and reinforce it throughout the essay. Using phrases like "While I agree that native teachers offer certain advantages, I believe that…" can help clarify the position. Additionally, summarizing the stance in the conclusion will reinforce the writer’s perspective.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas supporting the benefits of native teachers, such as exposure to native accents and cultural insights. However, these ideas are not sufficiently extended or supported with detailed examples or evidence. For instance, the mention of a survey lacks specific details about the survey’s methodology or results, which would strengthen the argument.
- How to improve: To improve this aspect, the writer should provide more detailed examples and evidence to support their claims. This could include specific statistics, studies, or anecdotes that illustrate the points made. Additionally, elaborating on how these benefits directly impact language learning would enhance the depth of the discussion.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by discussing the benefits of learning from native teachers. However, there are moments where the focus shifts, such as when the writer mentions that "Vietnamese teachers cannot do as perfectly as the natives." This statement could be seen as an unnecessary generalization that detracts from the main argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should avoid making broad statements about non-native teachers without supporting evidence. Instead, the essay should concentrate on the specific benefits of native teachers while acknowledging the strengths of non-native teachers in a more nuanced way. Ensuring that each paragraph directly relates to the central argument will help keep the essay on topic.
In summary, to improve the overall score, the writer should aim for a more comprehensive exploration of the prompt, maintain a clear and consistent position, provide detailed support for their ideas, and ensure that all content remains relevant to the topic. Additionally, addressing the word count issue is crucial, as being under the required word count can significantly impact the overall score.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument in favor of native teachers, and the ideas are generally organized in a logical sequence. The opening statement introduces the topic effectively, and the subsequent points build upon the initial argument. For instance, the transition from discussing exposure to native speakers to the impact on pronunciation and listening skills is coherent. However, the essay could benefit from a more structured approach, as some points appear to be somewhat repetitive or loosely connected.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using a more structured outline before writing. Each paragraph should ideally start with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea, followed by supporting details. Additionally, ensure that each point directly relates to the central argument, avoiding redundancy. For example, instead of reiterating the benefits of exposure to native speakers, you could introduce distinct advantages in each paragraph.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay lacks clear paragraphing, which affects its readability. Currently, the entire response is presented as a single block of text, making it challenging for readers to follow the argument. Effective paragraphing would allow for each point to be developed in isolation, providing clarity and focus.
- How to improve: Implement clear paragraph breaks to separate distinct ideas. Each paragraph should ideally focus on one main point. For instance, one paragraph could discuss the benefits of pronunciation improvement, while another could address cultural exposure. This not only enhances readability but also allows for a more in-depth exploration of each argument.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "moreover" and "on top of that," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is limited, and there are instances where transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, the phrase "this means that" is used, but it could be replaced with more varied phrases to enhance cohesion.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "in addition," "consequently," and "for instance." Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used appropriately to clarify relationships between ideas. For example, when introducing a new point, a phrase like "another significant advantage is" can help guide the reader more effectively.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, improvements in organization, paragraphing, and the use of cohesive devices will enhance clarity and coherence, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "benefits," "opportunities," "confident," and "improve." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly with the use of "native teachers" and "English." The phrase "unique native accent" is a good attempt at specificity, but it could be more varied. Additionally, phrases like "the fact indicated" are somewhat awkward and could be expressed more naturally.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "native teachers," consider using "native speakers," "foreign educators," or "native instructors." Additionally, using phrases like "the evidence suggests" instead of "the fact indicated" can improve fluency and variety.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay includes some precise vocabulary, there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "it firmly brings opportunities" is awkward; "firmly" does not accurately convey the intended meaning. The term "assist" is used correctly, but the phrase "students do not tend to be afraid anymore" could be more clearly expressed as "students become less fearful." The use of "meaningfully" in "improved significantly/meaningfully" is redundant, as both words convey a similar idea.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clarity and appropriateness of word choice. For instance, replacing "firmly brings opportunities" with "provides valuable opportunities" would enhance clarity. Additionally, avoiding redundancy by choosing one strong adjective (e.g., "significantly") instead of two similar ones will strengthen the writing.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "english" (should be "English"), "ỉmprove" (should be "improve"), and "Vstep" (should be "VSTEP"). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and may confuse readers.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a proofreading strategy. This could involve reading the essay aloud to catch errors or using spell-check tools before submission. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can be beneficial. Regular writing practice, coupled with feedback, will also help in identifying and correcting spelling mistakes.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and includes relevant vocabulary, there are areas for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By incorporating more varied vocabulary, ensuring precise word choice, and focusing on spelling, the writer can enhance their Lexical Resource score in future essays.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "To begin with" and "On top of that" effectively introduces new points and transitions between ideas. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, such as the frequent use of "students" as the subject in multiple sentences. This can make the writing feel somewhat monotonous.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied subject phrases and clauses. For example, instead of repeatedly starting sentences with "students," the writer could use passive constructions or introductory phrases, such as "It is essential for learners to…" or "Many learners find that…". Additionally, integrating more complex sentences with subordinate clauses could enhance the sophistication of the writing.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical inaccuracies and punctuation errors that detract from its overall clarity. For example, the phrase "an english teacher, who was born and raised in another country like USA or England… etc," has issues with capitalization ("English" should be capitalized), and the ellipsis is inappropriate in formal writing. Furthermore, the sentence "students do not tend to be afraid anymore when meeting foreigners" could be more concisely expressed as "students are less likely to feel afraid when meeting foreigners." There are also issues with article usage, such as "the level of english learners improved significantly/ meaningfully" where "the" should be omitted.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, particularly with capitalization, article usage, and punctuation. Utilizing grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers could help identify and correct these mistakes. Additionally, practicing writing complex sentences while paying attention to subject-verb agreement and proper punctuation will strengthen overall grammatical proficiency.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, there are clear areas for improvement. By diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical and punctuation accuracy, the writer can aim for a higher band score in future essays.
Bài sửa mẫu
To begin with, individuals should recognize that there are numerous benefits to studying with native teachers. An essential point to consider is that it provides opportunities for students to be exposed to foreigners, which not only helps them learn properly but also assists them in becoming more confident. This means that an English teacher who was born and raised in another country, such as the USA or England, naturally possesses a distinct native accent. Therefore, when students learn English with them, they can improve their skills significantly, especially in pronunciation and listening. Moreover, students no longer fear meeting foreigners. According to a recent survey, more and more English centers have invited native speakers, and the fact indicates that the level of English learners improved significantly, as evidenced by high-band certificates in IELTS or B1 VSTEP. On top of that, one of the most crucial factors that facilitates learning a language more quickly and effectively is that we must feel enthusiastic about it. This is because native teachers convey many cultures, customs, and traditions of their countries into the lessons, making them more interesting. This is due to the fact that Vietnamese teachers cannot do this as perfectly as the natives.