Nowadays, it is easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, some people experience problems when they are not able to pay their debts back. In your opinion, what are the advantages and disadvantages of credit cards?
Nowadays, it is easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, some people experience problems when they are not able to pay their debts back. In your opinion, what are the advantages and disadvantages of credit cards?
Everyone knows what a credit card is, but few people know its advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, the benefit we often see in credit cards is that you can withdraw money quickly and immediately, such as in an emergency. This means that when you urgently need a large amount of money to pay for something but forget to bring money, there is still a card that helps you pay immediately with just one swipe. It is easier to understand that, for example, when you go shopping or have money for something quite urgent, carrying a lot of cash is very dangerous. When withdrawing cash or not having enough money in your debit card, a credit card will be very useful and convenient. In short, a credit card will help you have a lot of money quickly to help you in urgent matters. It is safer because you do not have to keep cash.
On the other hand, credit cards also have disadvantages. The most common is probably that it has a fairly high interest rate that not everyone can afford. It is easy to understand that when you pay late, the interest on the card will be added to your debt and the interest from any credit card will be higher. For example, this month you withdraw a hundred million and after the first 30 days you cannot pay, the interest will be added gradually over time. If you do not accumulate points, after a while you may have to pay 20% interest. In short, if you do not pay on time, the interest will be higher and more expensive than if you do not pay early, and this makes many people unable to bear it.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"Everyone knows what a credit card is" -> "It is widely recognized that a credit card is"
Explanation: The phrase "It is widely recognized that" is more formal and precise, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence. -
"few people know its advantages and disadvantages" -> "few individuals are aware of its advantages and disadvantages"
Explanation: Replacing "people" with "individuals" and "know" with "are aware of" refines the language to be more formal and precise. -
"the benefit we often see in credit cards is that you can withdraw money quickly and immediately" -> "a common benefit associated with credit cards is the ability to withdraw funds rapidly"
Explanation: "A common benefit associated with" and "the ability to withdraw funds rapidly" are more formal and precise, avoiding the colloquial "you can withdraw money quickly and immediately." -
"This means that when you urgently need a large amount of money to pay for something but forget to bring money, there is still a card that helps you pay immediately with just one swipe" -> "This facilitates immediate payment when an urgent need arises, even if cash is forgotten, as the card can be used with a single swipe"
Explanation: The revised phrase clarifies the meaning and removes the conversational tone, making it more suitable for an academic context. -
"It is easier to understand that, for example, when you go shopping or have money for something quite urgent, carrying a lot of cash is very dangerous" -> "It is evident that carrying large amounts of cash can be risky, as exemplified by situations such as shopping or urgent expenses"
Explanation: "It is evident that" and "as exemplified by" are more formal and precise, improving the academic tone. -
"a credit card will help you have a lot of money quickly to help you in urgent matters" -> "a credit card can provide immediate access to funds in emergency situations"
Explanation: "can provide immediate access to funds in emergency situations" is more precise and formal, avoiding the colloquial "help you have a lot of money quickly." -
"It is safer because you do not have to keep cash" -> "It is safer because cash need not be carried"
Explanation: "cash need not be carried" is a more concise and formal way to express the idea. -
"The most common is probably that it has a fairly high interest rate that not everyone can afford" -> "a common drawback is the relatively high interest rates, which may be unaffordable for many"
Explanation: "a common drawback" and "relatively high interest rates, which may be unaffordable for many" are more precise and formal, avoiding the casual "it has a fairly high interest rate that not everyone can afford." -
"If you do not pay on time, the interest will be added gradually over time" -> "delayed payment will incur interest, which accumulates over time"
Explanation: "delayed payment will incur interest, which accumulates over time" is more formal and precise, avoiding the casual "the interest will be added gradually over time." -
"If you do not pay early, and this makes many people unable to bear it" -> "non-payment can lead to significant financial burdens for many"
Explanation: "non-payment can lead to significant financial burdens for many" is more formal and avoids the emotional connotation of "unable to bear it."
These changes enhance the formality and precision of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of credit cards, which is essential for the prompt. The advantages are presented first, focusing on the convenience and safety of using credit cards in emergencies. The disadvantages are also discussed, particularly the high-interest rates associated with late payments. However, the essay could benefit from a more balanced exploration of both sides. For instance, while the advantages are elaborated upon, the disadvantages could be more thoroughly examined with additional examples or details.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should aim to provide a more equal treatment of both the advantages and disadvantages. This could involve adding more specific examples of situations where credit cards can be beneficial, as well as discussing other potential drawbacks, such as the risk of overspending or the impact on credit scores.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a generally clear position regarding the advantages and disadvantages of credit cards. However, the transition between discussing the advantages and disadvantages could be smoother. The phrase "On the other hand" signals a shift, but the connection between the two sections could be more explicitly stated to reinforce the overall argument.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, the writer should include a brief introductory statement that outlines the intention to discuss both sides before delving into the advantages. Additionally, concluding each section with a summary statement that ties back to the overall opinion on credit cards would help maintain a cohesive argument.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas clearly, particularly in the advantages section, where the writer explains the convenience of credit cards. However, the support for the disadvantages is less robust. The example given about high-interest rates is relevant but could be expanded with more detail or additional examples to illustrate the potential consequences of accruing debt.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples and explanations. For instance, discussing specific scenarios where individuals might struggle with credit card debt or including statistics about credit card usage and debt could enhance the argument. Additionally, using comparative language to highlight the pros and cons more effectively would provide a deeper analysis.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the advantages and disadvantages of credit cards. However, some sentences could be more concise and directly related to the prompt. For example, the discussion about the dangers of carrying cash, while relevant, could be more tightly linked to the advantages of credit cards rather than presented as a separate point.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each point made directly supports the main argument regarding credit cards. This can be achieved by avoiding tangential points and ensuring that each sentence contributes to the overall discussion of advantages and disadvantages. A clear outline before writing could help in organizing thoughts and maintaining relevance throughout the essay.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with a distinct introduction, followed by two main body paragraphs that discuss the advantages and disadvantages of credit cards. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, while each body paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of credit cards. However, the logical flow within paragraphs could be improved. For instance, the first paragraph discusses the advantages but could benefit from clearer topic sentences and transitions that guide the reader through the points being made. The second paragraph, while focused on disadvantages, also lacks a strong concluding sentence that ties back to the main argument.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that summarize the main point. Additionally, use transitional phrases (e.g., "Furthermore," "In addition," "Conversely") to connect ideas within and between paragraphs, ensuring a smoother flow of information.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively, with a clear separation between the advantages and disadvantages of credit cards. Each paragraph contains relevant information, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could be more refined. For example, the first paragraph could be divided into two smaller paragraphs: one focusing solely on the convenience of credit cards and another on the safety aspect. This would allow for a more focused discussion of each point.
- How to improve: Consider breaking longer paragraphs into smaller ones to enhance readability and focus. Each paragraph should ideally contain one main idea, supported by examples or explanations. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily and improve overall coherence.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which effectively signal shifts between the advantages and disadvantages. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be strengthened. For example, the transition between discussing the convenience of credit cards and the safety aspect could be smoother, as they are related but not directly linked in the current structure.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases throughout the essay. For instance, use "Moreover" to add information, "However" to contrast points, and "As a result" to indicate consequences. This will not only enhance the flow of ideas but also demonstrate a greater command of cohesive devices, which is essential for achieving a higher band score.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, focusing on improving the organization, paragraph structure, and variety of cohesive devices will elevate the overall coherence and cohesion, potentially leading to a higher band score.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, particularly in discussing the advantages and disadvantages of credit cards. Phrases like "withdraw money quickly," "urgent matters," and "high interest rate" are relevant and appropriate. However, the vocabulary tends to be repetitive, particularly in the discussion of advantages, where phrases such as "a lot of money quickly" and "pay immediately" are used multiple times. This limits the overall lexical variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, the writer should incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "withdraw money," alternatives like "access funds" or "obtain cash" could be employed. Additionally, using more sophisticated terms such as "liquidity" or "financial flexibility" could elevate the lexical resource.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay shows some precise vocabulary usage, particularly in terms of financial terminology such as "interest rate" and "debt." However, there are instances of imprecision, such as "a hundred million," which is an exaggerated figure and may confuse readers. The phrase "if you do not accumulate points" lacks clarity, as it does not specify what points are being referred to in the context of credit cards.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should ensure that all terms used are relevant and clear to the reader. For example, instead of "a hundred million," a more realistic figure should be used, or the phrase should be omitted if it does not serve a clear purpose. Additionally, providing context for terms like "accumulate points" would enhance understanding, perhaps by explaining that it refers to rewards or benefits associated with credit card usage.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay is generally accurate, with no significant errors that detract from the overall readability. However, the phrase "debit card" is mistakenly referred to as "debit card" without the article "a," which could be seen as a minor grammatical oversight rather than a spelling error.
- How to improve: To maintain spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully, focusing on common pitfalls such as the use of articles and plural forms. Utilizing spell-check tools and engaging in regular writing practice can also help reinforce correct spelling habits.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and employs relevant vocabulary, there is room for improvement in terms of lexical variety, precision, and attention to detail in spelling and grammar.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and some complex sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" effectively introduces contrasting ideas. However, the essay relies heavily on simple and compound sentences, which can make the writing feel repetitive and less sophisticated. For example, the sentence "It is easier to understand that, for example, when you go shopping or have money for something quite urgent, carrying a lot of cash is very dangerous" is quite long and could be broken down or restructured for clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For instance, they could use relative clauses to add detail (e.g., "Credit cards, which are widely used today, offer both advantages and disadvantages"). Additionally, varying the sentence beginnings and using different transition words can help create a more engaging flow.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay shows a good level of grammatical accuracy overall, but there are some noticeable errors that affect clarity. For instance, the phrase "the benefit we often see in credit cards is that you can withdraw money quickly and immediately" could be streamlined for clarity, as "quickly and immediately" is somewhat redundant. Additionally, there are punctuation issues, such as missing commas in complex sentences, which can lead to run-on sentences. For example, "If you do not accumulate points, after a while you may have to pay 20% interest" could benefit from a clearer structure and punctuation.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should review sentence structures to avoid run-ons and ensure proper punctuation is used, especially in complex sentences. Practicing the use of commas in lists and clauses can help. Furthermore, proofreading for common grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement and tense consistency, will enhance overall accuracy.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents clear arguments, the writer can improve their score by diversifying sentence structures and enhancing grammatical accuracy through careful proofreading and practice.
Bài sửa mẫu
Everyone is familiar with what a credit card is, but few individuals are aware of its advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, a common benefit associated with credit cards is the ability to withdraw funds rapidly, especially in emergencies. This means that when you urgently need a large sum of money to pay for something but forget to bring cash, the card can facilitate immediate payment with just one swipe. It is evident that carrying large amounts of cash can be risky, as exemplified by situations such as shopping or dealing with urgent expenses. When withdrawing cash or finding that there is not enough money in your debit account, a credit card can be extremely useful and convenient. In short, a credit card provides immediate access to funds in emergency situations, making it safer because you do not have to carry cash.
On the other hand, credit cards also have disadvantages. The most common drawback is the relatively high interest rates, which may be unaffordable for many. It is easy to understand that when you pay late, the interest on the card will accumulate, adding to your debt. For example, if you withdraw a significant amount this month and cannot pay it back after the first 30 days, the interest will gradually increase over time. If you do not manage your payments carefully, after a while, you may find yourself facing an interest rate of 20%. In short, if you do not pay on time, the interest will be higher and more burdensome than if you pay promptly, which can lead to significant financial difficulties for many.