Nowadays many people are traveling to other countries. Why? Is it a positive or negative development?

One school of thought holds that the today’s world witness the increasing number of people who are venturing across international borders. This essay will first outline the underlying reasons for this phenomenon before examining both positive and negative effects.

To begin with, the rise of traveling to other countries can be attributed to two main reasons. The main cause of this new trend may be derived from the development of transportation which is better with more advancements and affordable prices nowadays. It is obvious that in the airline industry, airfares with budget-friendly prices are becoming common due to many big manufacturing airplanes companies producing more efficiently and supplying more flights to meet the demand. Another factor that contributes to this situation is the plenty of purposes for the need to travel abroad. For instance, many people traverse to other countries to get exposed to international potential customers while the demand of studying abroad in developing countries is becoming a common trend.

Turning to the effect of cross-border trips to development, on the one hand, going to many countries can be detrimental to a certain extent. The most prominent disadvantage is that this trend negatively affects the general environment. To illustrate more clearly, many kinds of transportation are harmful through the hazardous waste that they release. For example, the amount of carbon dioxide emission annually by airplanes is the majority impact leading to the rise in temperature and the climate changes. Nevertheless, with the joint efforts of the government in raising resident perception through making law, improvements will soon be visible.

On the other hand, I am convinced that the aforementioned drawbacks pale in significance when compared with the benefits. Firstly, exposure to many different cultures may also enrich an individual's knowledge and foster an appreciation of diversity. Therefore, with observing cultural differences, one will have a profound understanding of the world which supports the huge amount of knowledge for both study and work. Secondly, the explosion of leisure travelers
in sectors such as hospitality, food and building can drive economic vitality. Thailand is a compelling example, with the advertising about its vibrant sites, natural sceneries, and traditional cultures which promote positively their tourism and economy.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"the today’s world witness" -> "today’s world witnesses"
Explanation: "the today’s world witness" is awkward phrasing. "today’s world witnesses" is a more concise and grammatically correct expression.
"before examining both positive and negative effects" -> "prior to examining both positive and negative effects"
Explanation: "before examining both positive and negative effects" is grammatically correct but lacks a touch of formality. "prior to examining both positive and negative effects" sounds more formal and appropriate for an academic essay.
"The main cause of this new trend may be derived from" -> "This new trend primarily arises from"
Explanation: "The main cause of this new trend may be derived from" is unnecessarily wordy. "This new trend primarily arises from" is more concise and direct, fitting for academic writing.
"airfares with budget-friendly prices are becoming common due to many big manufacturing airplanes companies producing more efficiently" -> "affordable airfares are increasingly common due to major aircraft manufacturing companies improving efficiency"
Explanation: "airfares with budget-friendly prices" is a bit informal. "affordable airfares" is more appropriate. "manufacturing airplanes companies" is awkward; "aircraft manufacturing companies" is more precise. "producing more efficiently" can be refined to "improving efficiency" for clarity and conciseness.
"Another factor that contributes to this situation is the plenty of purposes for the need to travel abroad." -> "Another contributing factor is the multitude of reasons for traveling abroad."
Explanation: "the plenty of purposes" is informal; "the multitude of reasons" is more formal. Restructuring the sentence for clarity and conciseness improves readability.
"many people traverse to other countries" -> "many people travel to other countries"
Explanation: "traverse to other countries" is an uncommon and somewhat awkward phrasing. "travel to other countries" is more natural and commonly used.
"exposed to international potential customers" -> "exposed to potential international markets"
Explanation: "international potential customers" is slightly awkward. "potential international markets" is more concise and appropriate in an academic context.
"the demand of studying abroad in developing countries" -> "the demand for studying abroad in developing countries"
Explanation: "the demand of studying abroad" is grammatically incorrect. "the demand for studying abroad" is the correct phrasing.
"Turning to the effect of cross-border trips to development" -> "Regarding the impact of cross-border travel on development"
Explanation: "Turning to the effect of cross-border trips to development" is unclear and somewhat awkward. "Regarding the impact of cross-border travel on development" is more precise and formal.
"detrimental to a certain extent" -> "somewhat detrimental"
Explanation: "detrimental to a certain extent" is redundant. "somewhat detrimental" conveys the same meaning more concisely.
"The most prominent disadvantage is that this trend negatively affects the general environment." -> "The primary drawback is the adverse impact of this trend on the environment."
Explanation: "The most prominent disadvantage" is a bit informal. "The primary drawback" is more suitable for academic writing. "negatively affects the general environment" can be refined to "adverse impact of this trend on the environment" for clarity and formality.
"To illustrate more clearly" -> "To clarify"
Explanation: "To illustrate more clearly" is slightly redundant. "To clarify" is more concise and maintains the formal tone.
"the amount of carbon dioxide emission annually by airplanes" -> "the annual carbon dioxide emissions from airplanes"
Explanation: "the amount of carbon dioxide emission annually by airplanes" is awkwardly phrased. "the annual carbon dioxide emissions from airplanes" is more concise and grammatically correct.
"with the joint efforts of the government in raising resident perception through making law" -> "with concerted government efforts to improve public perception through legislation"
Explanation: "with the joint efforts of the government in raising resident perception through making law" is unclear and awkward. "with concerted government efforts to improve public perception through legislation" is more precise and formal.
"the aforementioned drawbacks pale in significance" -> "the aforementioned drawbacks are outweighed"
Explanation: "the aforementioned drawbacks pale in significance" is slightly informal. "the aforementioned drawbacks are outweighed" is a more formal and concise expression of the same idea.
"explosion of leisure travelers" -> "surge in leisure travelers"
Explanation: "explosion of leisure travelers" is somewhat informal. "surge in leisure travelers" is a more formal and appropriate term.
"in sectors such as hospitality, food and building" -> "in sectors such as hospitality, food, and construction"
Explanation: "building" is too general; "construction" is a more specific and suitable term for academic writing.
"which promote positively their tourism and economy" -> "which positively promote their tourism and economy"
Explanation: "which promote positively their tourism and economy" is grammatically incorrect. "which positively promote their tourism and economy" corrects the syntax while maintaining the intended meaning.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the question. It discusses both the reasons for increased international travel and evaluates both positive and negative impacts.
- How to improve: To enhance task response, ensure that each aspect of the prompt is thoroughly explored and supported. Provide more specific examples to strengthen the analysis.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, asserting that while there are negative aspects to increased international travel, the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
- How to improve: To further strengthen clarity, explicitly state the position in the introduction and conclusion, and ensure that each body paragraph consistently supports this stance.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented and supported adequately, with examples provided to illustrate points.
- How to improve: Extend the analysis by providing deeper insights into the examples presented. Include more elaboration and analysis to strengthen the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic of increased international travel and its implications.
- How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the topic and avoid tangents or unrelated information to maintain coherence and relevance.

Overall, the essay effectively addresses the prompt and provides a balanced discussion of the reasons for increased international travel and its positive and negative impacts. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples, maintaining a clear and consistent position, extending the analysis, and ensuring coherence throughout.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization by presenting reasons for increased international travel followed by discussion of both positive and negative aspects. Each paragraph addresses a different aspect of the topic, starting with reasons for travel, then discussing negative effects, and finally highlighting positive outcomes. However, there are areas where the logical flow could be improved, such as transitioning between paragraphs and within sentences.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next, providing clear transitions between ideas. Additionally, focus on the coherence within sentences to maintain clarity and coherence throughout the essay. Consider using linking words and phrases to guide the reader through the progression of ideas.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is essential for readability and clarity. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic, such as reasons for travel, negative effects, and positive outcomes. However, the structure within paragraphs could be improved to enhance coherence and cohesion.
- How to improve: While the essay employs paragraphs effectively to organize ideas, attention should be given to the structure within each paragraph. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples. Additionally, aim for consistency in paragraph length to maintain balance and flow throughout the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay incorporates some cohesive devices to connect ideas and improve coherence. For instance, phrases like "to begin with," "turning to," and "on the other hand" help transition between different points and paragraphs. However, there is limited variety in cohesive devices, and some transitions are abrupt, impacting the overall flow of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance cohesion, strive to use a wider range of cohesive devices, including conjunctions, transitional phrases, and pronouns. This variety can help create smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs, improving the overall coherence of the essay. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used appropriately and consistently throughout the essay to maintain coherence and clarity.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of vocabulary, covering a range of topics related to international travel. For example, terms like "venturing across international borders," "exposed to international potential customers," "hazardous waste," and "explosion of leisure travelers" showcase lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To further enhance lexical resource, consider incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary and idiomatic expressions where appropriate. Additionally, ensure that the vocabulary used is accurately employed within the context of the essay. For instance, instead of "explosion of leisure travelers," consider using a more nuanced phrase like "surge in recreational tourism."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally uses vocabulary effectively, there are instances where precision could be improved. For instance, the phrase "many people traverse to other countries" could be refined to "many people travel to other countries," as "traverse" may not be the most precise choice in this context. Similarly, the term "huge amount of knowledge" could be replaced with a more specific descriptor, such as "a wealth of knowledge."
- How to improve: Aim for precision by selecting vocabulary that precisely conveys the intended meaning. Avoid using words that may be overly general or not entirely fitting in the given context. Review each word choice critically to ensure it aligns accurately with the message being conveyed.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of spelling accuracy. However, there are a few instances where minor spelling errors are present, such as "witness" instead of "witnesses" in the introductory sentence and "Thailand" misspelled as "Thialand."
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spell-checking tools or proofreading more attentively to catch and correct any spelling errors before finalizing the essay. Additionally, familiarize yourself with common spelling rules and patterns to minimize the occurrence of spelling mistakes in future writing endeavors.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable attempt to utilize a variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. However, there is a tendency towards using some repetitive structures, which may slightly limit the overall range. For instance, there’s a recurring pattern of starting sentences with "The main cause…" and "Another factor that contributes…" which could be diversified for better effect.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentence forms such as conditional sentences, inverted sentences, or parallel structures. Additionally, vary the sentence openings and transitions to avoid repetition and create a smoother flow in the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a fairly strong command of grammar and punctuation. However, there are instances of grammatical errors and punctuation inconsistencies throughout the text. For example, there are minor issues with subject-verb agreement ("the today’s world witness," should be "today’s world witnesses") and punctuation errors (missing commas after introductory phrases, inconsistent use of capitalization in section headings).
- How to improve: Focus on proofreading and editing to catch and correct grammatical errors and punctuation inconsistencies. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and proper punctuation usage. Additionally, review rules for comma placement after introductory phrases and ensure consistency in capitalization throughout the essay. Consider seeking feedback from peers or utilizing grammar-checking tools to refine the accuracy of your writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

One school of thought holds that today’s world witnesses the increasing number of people who are venturing across international borders. This essay will first outline the underlying reasons for this phenomenon before examining both positive and negative effects.

To begin with, the rise in traveling to other countries can be attributed to two main reasons. This new trend primarily arises from advancements in transportation, making it more affordable and accessible. Affordable airfares are increasingly common due to major aircraft manufacturing companies improving efficiency and supplying more flights to meet the demand. Another contributing factor is the multitude of reasons for traveling abroad. Many people travel to other countries to get exposed to potential international markets, while the demand for studying abroad in developing countries is also on the rise.

Regarding the impact of cross-border travel on development, on the one hand, going to many countries can be somewhat detrimental. The primary drawback is the adverse impact of this trend on the environment. To clarify, the annual carbon dioxide emissions from airplanes contribute significantly to climate change. Nevertheless, with concerted government efforts to improve public perception through legislation, improvements will soon be visible.

On the other hand, I am convinced that the aforementioned drawbacks are outweighed by the benefits. Firstly, exposure to many different cultures may also enrich an individual’s knowledge and foster an appreciation of diversity. Therefore, with observing cultural differences, one will have a profound understanding of the world which supports a huge amount of knowledge for both study and work. Secondly, the surge in leisure travelers in sectors such as hospitality, food, and construction can drive economic vitality. Thailand is a compelling example, with its vibrant sites, natural sceneries, and traditional cultures positively promoting their tourism and economy.