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Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation.

Why might this be the case?

What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

It is indeed the case that, in modern society, a large number of individuals prefer self-employment to working for a business or organization. From my perspective, this phenomenon is attributable to the desire for more flexible hours and autonomy, and it can present specific drawbacks, such as unstable income flows and higher risks.

Significant factors driving many people's decision to work for themselves can be the flexible hours and the freedom of choice in their career. Regarding the former, individuals often choose to be freelancers due to the opportunities for working on different projects for various companies and family commitments, such as taking care of young children at home. In such situations, being able to arrange their timetable to accommodate various activities and workloads is more reasonable than dedicating fixed daily hours to a single company. Additionally, self-employment allows professionals to have complete autonomy in their jobs, such as working at their own pace and convenience, as well as making independent decisions. For instance, some people prefer to start their own businesses as they can design the company structure, hire employees, decide on products, and engage in other relevant activities according to their preferences without relying on any superior. Therefore, the feeling of independence and control is likely to provide them with more satisfaction and motivation.

On the other hand, being self-employed may be disadvantageous because of inconsistent income and significant challenges. It is common for freelancers to be subject to short-term contracts with low levels of job security, which means that they may experience periods of unemployment without reliable salaries. Consequently, they may face considerable financial difficulties that prevent them from fulfilling their daily needs. Additionally, owning a business is riskier than being employed at an organization due to the greater potential repercussions of failure. People who own their own companies tend to bear considerably heavier responsibilities for all aspects, such as operations and finances. If they lack sufficient knowledge and experience to run a successful business, they may face substantial risks of bankruptcy.

In conclusion, people opt for self-employment over applying to a company because they aspire for flexibility and autonomy. Nevertheless, the potential adverse effects of that approach must be considered, including inconsistent earnings and increased risks of failure.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "It is indeed the case that" -> "It is evident that"
    Explanation: "It is indeed the case that" is redundant and slightly informal. "It is evident that" simplifies the phrase while maintaining formality and clarity.

  2. "a large number of individuals" -> "many individuals"
    Explanation: "A large number of" is verbose and can be simplified to "many" without losing meaning, making the sentence more concise and formal.

  3. "prefer self-employment to working for a business or organization" -> "prefer self-employment over working for a business or organization"
    Explanation: "To" is less formal than "over" in this context, which is more suitable for academic writing.

  4. "the desire for more flexible hours and autonomy" -> "the desire for greater flexibility and autonomy"
    Explanation: "Greater flexibility" is a more precise and formal way to describe the extent of flexibility, enhancing the academic tone.

  5. "it can present specific drawbacks" -> "it may entail specific drawbacks"
    Explanation: "Entail" is more precise and formal than "present," which is somewhat vague and less commonly used in academic writing.

  6. "Significant factors driving" -> "Several factors contributing"
    Explanation: "Several factors contributing" is more precise and less absolute than "significant factors driving," which can imply a stronger causality than intended.

  7. "the opportunities for working on different projects" -> "the opportunities to work on diverse projects"
    Explanation: "To work on diverse projects" is more formal and precise, improving the academic tone.

  8. "taking care of young children at home" -> "caring for young children at home"
    Explanation: "Caring for" is a more formal and precise verb choice than "taking care of," which is slightly informal.

  9. "more reasonable" -> "more practical"
    Explanation: "Practical" is more specific and formal than "reasonable," which can be vague in this context.

  10. "complete autonomy in their jobs" -> "unrestricted autonomy in their work"
    Explanation: "Unrestricted autonomy" is a more precise and formal way to describe the absence of limitations in decision-making.

  11. "design the company structure" -> "design the organizational structure"
    Explanation: "Organizational structure" is a more specific and formal term than "company structure," which is more general.

  12. "engage in other relevant activities" -> "engage in other relevant activities"
    Explanation: This is a typographical error; the word "activities" should not be repeated.

  13. "without relying on any superior" -> "without relying on a superior"
    Explanation: "A superior" is grammatically correct and more specific than "any superior," which is vague and informal.

  14. "the feeling of independence and control" -> "the sense of independence and control"
    Explanation: "Sense" is a more formal synonym for "feeling," aligning better with academic style.

  15. "considerable financial difficulties" -> "significant financial challenges"
    Explanation: "Significant financial challenges" is a more formal and precise term than "considerable financial difficulties."

  16. "considerable heavier responsibilities" -> "substantial additional responsibilities"
    Explanation: "Substantial additional responsibilities" is more precise and formal, avoiding the awkward construction of "considerable heavier."

  17. "they may face substantial risks of bankruptcy" -> "they may incur substantial risks of bankruptcy"
    Explanation: "Incur" is more precise and formal than "face," which is less specific in this context.

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt. It identifies reasons why individuals may prefer self-employment, such as flexible hours and autonomy, and it discusses the disadvantages, including unstable income and higher risks. The introduction clearly outlines the two aspects to be discussed, and each is elaborated upon in the body paragraphs. For instance, the mention of family commitments and the ability to design one’s own business structure directly relates to the reasons for choosing self-employment.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could provide more specific examples or statistics to support the claims made about the benefits and drawbacks of self-employment. This would add depth and credibility to the arguments presented.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that self-employment is appealing due to flexibility and autonomy while also acknowledging its disadvantages. The use of phrases like "from my perspective" in the introduction establishes a personal viewpoint, which is consistently reflected throughout the essay. However, the transition between discussing the advantages and disadvantages could be smoother, as the shift feels somewhat abrupt.
    • How to improve: To improve clarity and coherence, the writer could use transitional phrases to better connect the discussion of advantages to disadvantages. For example, phrases like "While there are clear benefits, it is also important to consider…" could help guide the reader through the argument more fluidly.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas clearly, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of self-employment. The reasons for choosing self-employment are well-supported with explanations about flexibility and autonomy, while the disadvantages are also articulated with relevant details about job security and financial risks. However, some points could benefit from further elaboration. For instance, the mention of "considerable financial difficulties" could be expanded with examples of how these difficulties manifest in real-life scenarios.
    • How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the writer should aim to include more detailed examples or case studies that illustrate the points being made. This could involve discussing specific professions that are commonly self-employed or citing studies that show trends in self-employment.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic of self-employment throughout, with all points directly related to the reasons for and disadvantages of this choice. There are no significant deviations from the topic, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit link back to the prompt in the conclusion, reiterating the significance of the discussed factors.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that each paragraph begins with a topic sentence that clearly relates back to the prompt. Additionally, reinforcing the connection to the prompt in the conclusion can help remind the reader of the essay’s purpose and reinforce the main arguments made.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured response. With some enhancements in examples and transitions, it could achieve an even higher level of clarity and engagement.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the main points. The body paragraphs are organized effectively, with the first paragraph discussing the advantages of self-employment and the second addressing its disadvantages. This clear separation of ideas helps the reader follow the argument easily. For example, the transition from discussing flexible hours to autonomy is smooth, indicating a well-thought-out progression of ideas.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using more explicit linking phrases between points. For instance, when transitioning from the discussion of flexible hours to autonomy, a phrase like "In addition to flexibility, another significant advantage is…" could strengthen the connection between ideas. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence can further clarify the main idea being discussed.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of self-employment. The introduction sets the stage, while the body paragraphs delve into the reasons for self-employment and its drawbacks. Each paragraph is coherent and maintains a consistent focus, which is essential for clarity.
    • How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, ensuring that each paragraph contains a concluding sentence that summarizes the main point can enhance cohesion. For instance, after discussing the disadvantages of self-employment, a sentence like "Thus, while self-employment offers flexibility, it also brings significant challenges that must be carefully weighed" would reinforce the paragraph’s main idea and provide a smoother transition to the conclusion.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "on the other hand," "additionally," and "for instance," which help to connect ideas and provide examples. These devices contribute to the overall coherence of the text, allowing the reader to follow the argument without confusion. The use of cohesive devices is varied and appropriate, which is a strength of the essay.
    • How to improve: To further diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating more complex structures, such as "not only… but also" or "despite this." For example, when discussing the drawbacks of self-employment, you could say, "Despite the appeal of autonomy, self-employment can also lead to significant financial instability." This would not only enhance the richness of the language but also provide a more nuanced connection between contrasting ideas.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, with clear organization, effective paragraphing, and a good range of cohesive devices. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further elevate the clarity and fluidity of their writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of self-employment. Terms such as "self-employment," "freelancers," "autonomy," and "financial difficulties" are effectively used. Additionally, phrases like "flexible hours," "independent decisions," and "job security" showcase an ability to discuss the topic with appropriate terminology. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the repeated use of "self-employment" and "freelancers" could be replaced with synonyms or paraphrased to enhance lexical diversity.
    • How to improve: To improve lexical range, consider using synonyms or related terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly saying "self-employment," you could use "entrepreneurship" or "independent work." Additionally, incorporating more advanced vocabulary or idiomatic expressions could elevate the essay’s overall quality.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, with phrases like "unstable income flows" and "considerable financial difficulties" clearly conveying the intended meanings. However, there are moments where word choice could be more precise. For example, the phrase "the feeling of independence and control" could be more effectively expressed as "a sense of independence and control," which would enhance clarity and fluidity.
    • How to improve: Focus on refining word choices to enhance precision. Review phrases for clarity and consider rephrasing where necessary. For instance, instead of "the opportunities for working on different projects," you might say "the opportunity to engage in diverse projects," which is more specific and impactful.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a strong command of spelling, with no noticeable errors present. Words such as "organization," "financial," and "bankruptcy" are spelled correctly, contributing to the overall professionalism of the writing. This level of spelling accuracy is consistent with a Band 7 score.
    • How to improve: To maintain and further improve spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading strategy. After completing the essay, take a moment to read through it carefully, checking for any potential typos or overlooked errors. Additionally, practicing spelling through exercises or using spelling apps can help reinforce correct spelling habits.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resource with a Band 7 score, there are opportunities for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling strategies. By incorporating more varied vocabulary, refining word choices for clarity, and maintaining consistent proofreading practices, the essay could achieve an even higher score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences such as "It is indeed the case that, in modern society, a large number of individuals prefer self-employment to working for a business or organization" showcases an effective combination of clauses. Additionally, the essay employs conditional structures and participial phrases, such as "being able to arrange their timetable to accommodate various activities and workloads," which enhance the sophistication of the writing. However, while the range is strong, there are instances where simpler structures could have been combined or varied further to create more fluidity and enhance readability.
    • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, consider integrating more compound-complex sentences that combine multiple ideas. For example, instead of stating "Additionally, self-employment allows professionals to have complete autonomy in their jobs," you could expand this by linking it to a previous point: "Additionally, self-employment not only allows professionals to have complete autonomy in their jobs but also enables them to tailor their work environments to suit their personal preferences." This approach would create a more interconnected flow of ideas.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors that do not impede understanding. For example, the phrase "which means that they may experience periods of unemployment without reliable salaries" is correctly structured, and punctuation is generally used effectively throughout the essay. However, there are a few areas where punctuation could be improved for clarity, such as the use of commas in complex sentences. For instance, in "Consequently, they may face considerable financial difficulties that prevent them from fulfilling their daily needs," the sentence is clear, but adding a comma before "that" could help delineate the clause more effectively.
    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, review the rules regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, particularly in relation to dependent clauses. Practicing sentence combining exercises can also help in understanding how to structure sentences more effectively. Additionally, proofreading for punctuation errors, especially in longer sentences, can help ensure that the intended meaning is conveyed clearly.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a Band Score of 8. By focusing on further diversifying sentence structures and refining punctuation use, the writer can enhance the overall clarity and sophistication of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is evident that, in modern society, many individuals prefer self-employment over working for a business or organization. From my perspective, this phenomenon is attributable to the desire for greater flexibility and autonomy, although it may entail specific drawbacks, such as unstable income flows and higher risks.

Several factors contributing to many people’s decision to work for themselves include flexible hours and the freedom of choice in their careers. Regarding the former, individuals often choose to be freelancers due to the opportunities to work on diverse projects for various companies and family commitments, such as caring for young children at home. In such situations, being able to arrange their timetable to accommodate various activities and workloads is more practical than dedicating fixed daily hours to a single company. Additionally, self-employment allows professionals to have unrestricted autonomy in their work, such as working at their own pace and convenience, as well as making independent decisions. For instance, some people prefer to start their own businesses as they can design the organizational structure, hire employees, decide on products, and engage in other relevant activities according to their preferences without relying on a superior. Therefore, the sense of independence and control is likely to provide them with more satisfaction and motivation.

On the other hand, being self-employed may be disadvantageous due to inconsistent income and significant financial challenges. It is common for freelancers to be subject to short-term contracts with low levels of job security, which means that they may experience periods of unemployment without reliable salaries. Consequently, they may face considerable financial difficulties that prevent them from fulfilling their daily needs. Additionally, owning a business is riskier than being employed at an organization because of the greater potential repercussions of failure. People who own their own companies tend to bear substantial additional responsibilities for all aspects, such as operations and finances. If they lack sufficient knowledge and experience to run a successful business, they may incur substantial risks of bankruptcy.

In conclusion, people opt for self-employment over applying to a company because they aspire for flexibility and autonomy. Nevertheless, the potential adverse effects of that approach must be considered, including inconsistent earnings and increased risks of failure.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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