nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. what are the reasons? what are the effects on society and family life?

In recent years, the decision of parents to start a family later in life has become an increasingly popular trend. There are a number of reasons for this trend, which is having a significant impact on both family life and on the community as a whole.
There are two important reasons why more people nowadays are deciding against having children when they are young. Firstly, the labor market is increasingly competitive these days, therefore, many people always concentrate on all work. People have little time for their children due to their busy work schedules and have no time to raise a baby. Secondly, many couples decide to have children later in life because they are too busy climbing the career ladders. For example, young parents want to make a lot of money and get promoted at work, even though they always want to take a lead and be a big boss in their own career.
However, this tendency could have negative consequences in terms of both family life and society. To begin with, people decide to have children later increases the rate of the aging population and it is a serious problem for society. For instance, society does not have the young for work and increasingly develop country. Furthermore, it also causes problems for family life, young parents having children later in life could lead to the risk of diseases in both parent and child. When females get older they become physical worse, which leads to health problems during and after birth. Moreover, young parents can not even give birth.
In conclusion, it is clear that there are various reasons and effects of people delay parenthood in life.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In recent years" -> "In recent times"
Explanation: "In recent times" is a more formal and precise temporal reference, enhancing the academic tone of the essay.
"the decision of parents" -> "the decision by parents"
Explanation: "The decision by parents" is grammatically correct and more formal, improving the clarity and precision of the sentence.
"start a family later in life" -> "delay starting a family"
Explanation: "Delay starting a family" is a more concise and formal way to express the idea, avoiding redundancy and enhancing the academic tone.
"is having a significant impact" -> "is significantly impacting"
Explanation: "Is significantly impacting" is grammatically correct and more formal, aligning better with academic style.
"more people nowadays" -> "an increasing number of individuals"
Explanation: "An increasing number of individuals" is more formal and precise, avoiding the colloquialism "more people nowadays."
"always concentrate on all work" -> "focus exclusively on their careers"
Explanation: "Focus exclusively on their careers" is more specific and formal, replacing the vague and informal "always concentrate on all work."
"have no time to raise a baby" -> "lack the time to care for a child"
Explanation: "Lack the time to care for a child" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing, replacing the informal "have no time to raise a baby."
"too busy climbing the career ladders" -> "too preoccupied with career advancement"
Explanation: "Too preoccupied with career advancement" is more formal and precise, avoiding the colloquial "climbing the career ladders."
"want to take a lead and be a big boss" -> "aspire to leadership positions and become senior executives"
Explanation: "Aspire to leadership positions and become senior executives" is more formal and specific, replacing the informal and vague "want to take a lead and be a big boss."
"increasingly develop country" -> "foster national development"
Explanation: "Foster national development" is a more precise and formal expression, replacing the awkward and unclear "increasingly develop country."
"people decide to have children later increases the rate of the aging population" -> "delayed parenthood contributes to an increased aging population"
Explanation: "Delayed parenthood contributes to an increased aging population" is more direct and academically appropriate, avoiding the awkward construction of the original phrase.
"it is a serious problem for society" -> "this poses significant societal challenges"
Explanation: "This poses significant societal challenges" is more formal and precise, enhancing the academic tone of the statement.
"young parents having children later in life could lead to the risk of diseases" -> "delayed parenthood may increase the risk of health complications"
Explanation: "Delayed parenthood may increase the risk of health complications" is more specific and formal, replacing the vague and informal "the risk of diseases."
"can not even give birth" -> "may not be able to conceive"
Explanation: "May not be able to conceive" is a more formal and precise way to express the idea, avoiding the informal "can not even give birth."

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing reasons for having children later in life and the effects on society and family life. The reasons provided, such as a competitive labor market and career focus, are relevant and well-articulated. However, the effects mentioned, particularly regarding the aging population and health risks, could be more thoroughly explored. The essay does not fully elaborate on how these effects manifest in society or family dynamics, which limits the depth of the response.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should provide more detailed examples and explanations for each effect. For instance, discussing how an aging population impacts economic productivity or social services would add depth. Similarly, elaborating on the implications for family relationships and child development would strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a generally clear position regarding the trend of delayed parenthood. However, the clarity of the position could be improved, as some sentences are convoluted and may confuse the reader. For example, phrases like "even though they always want to take a lead and be a big boss in their own career" could be simplified for better clarity.
- How to improve: The writer should aim for more straightforward language and structure to ensure that the position is easily understood. Using clear topic sentences for each paragraph can help reinforce the main argument and guide the reader through the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, but they are not always well-supported. For instance, while the reasons for delaying parenthood are stated, they lack sufficient evidence or examples to substantiate them. The effects on society and family life are mentioned but not sufficiently developed, leading to a lack of depth in the argument.
- How to improve: To improve this aspect, the writer should include specific examples, statistics, or studies that support their claims. For instance, citing research on the effects of delayed parenthood on child development or societal structures would strengthen the argument. Additionally, expanding on each idea with explanations and implications would enhance clarity and persuasiveness.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the reasons and effects of having children later in life. However, some sentences stray slightly from the main point, such as the mention of "young parents can not even give birth," which could be misleading and lacks context.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all statements directly relate to the main argument. Avoiding vague or ambiguous phrases and ensuring that each point is clearly tied back to the prompt will help maintain relevance throughout the essay. Additionally, reviewing the essay for any off-topic statements before submission can help improve coherence.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, it would benefit from more detailed explanations, clearer language, and stronger supporting evidence to achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing reasons and effects, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow could be improved. For example, the transition from discussing reasons for delaying parenthood to the effects on family and society could be more seamless. The phrase "However, this tendency could have negative consequences" serves as a transition but feels abrupt. The ideas within paragraphs are mostly coherent, but some sentences lack clarity, such as "People have little time for their children due to their busy work schedules and have no time to raise a baby," which could be more concise.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer could use clearer topic sentences that outline the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, employing transitional phrases such as "On the other hand" or "In contrast" can help guide the reader through the shifts in argument more smoothly. Structuring the essay with clear subheadings or bullet points in the planning stage may also assist in maintaining focus on the main ideas.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is crucial for clarity. However, the paragraphs could be more distinct in their focus. The first body paragraph discusses reasons but mixes two distinct ideas (work competition and career ambition) without clear separation. The second body paragraph addresses effects but could benefit from clearer delineation between societal and familial impacts.
- How to improve: Each paragraph should ideally focus on a single main idea. For instance, the first body paragraph could be split into two: one focusing on the competitive labor market and the other on career ambitions. This would allow for deeper exploration of each reason. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence will help the reader understand the focus of that section immediately.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "However," which help in linking ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and the essay occasionally lacks fluidity in transitions. For example, the phrase "For instance" is used effectively, but the essay could benefit from a wider variety of linking words and phrases to enhance coherence.
- How to improve: To improve the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a broader range of linking words, such as "Moreover," "In addition," "Consequently," and "As a result." This would not only enhance the flow of ideas but also demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency. Practicing the use of synonyms for common transitional phrases can also help diversify the language used in the essay.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, focusing on the logical organization of ideas, refining paragraph structure, and expanding the range of cohesive devices will help elevate the score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, but it lacks variety and sophistication. Phrases like "increasingly popular trend," "busy work schedules," and "climbing the career ladders" are somewhat repetitive and could be expressed in more varied ways. The use of "young parents" and "people" is also quite generic, which limits the lexical diversity of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer could incorporate synonyms and more descriptive language. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "busy," alternatives like "hectic" or "demanding" could be employed. Additionally, varying the sentence structure and using more complex phrases would contribute to a richer vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay conveys the main ideas, some vocabulary choices are imprecise or awkward. For example, the phrase "deciding against having children when they are young" is misleading; it would be clearer to say "deciding to postpone having children." Additionally, "climbing the career ladders" is a common expression but could be more effectively stated as "advancing in their careers." The phrase "young parents can not even give birth" is also vague and could be interpreted in different ways.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately reflects the intended meaning. This can be achieved by reviewing phrases for clarity and appropriateness. For example, instead of "physical worse," a more precise phrase would be "physical health declines." Engaging with a thesaurus or vocabulary resources can help identify more accurate terms.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors and grammatical inaccuracies that detract from the overall quality. For instance, "increasingly develop country" should be "increasingly developed country," and "can not" should be written as "cannot." These errors indicate a lack of attention to detail in spelling and grammar.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully, ideally multiple times. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises or using flashcards for commonly misspelled words can be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay achieves a Band 6 for Lexical Resource, there is significant room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance the clarity and sophistication of their writing, potentially raising their score in future assessments.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "the decision of parents to start a family later in life" and "this tendency could have negative consequences" shows an ability to construct more complex ideas. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, such as "many people always concentrate on all work" and "many couples decide to have children later in life," which could be expressed in more varied ways. The use of transitional phrases like "to begin with" and "for example" helps in connecting ideas, but the overall range could be expanded further.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory clauses, conditional sentences, and participial phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly starting sentences with "many people" or "many couples," try using phrases like "A significant number of individuals" or "Numerous couples." Additionally, employing more complex sentences that combine ideas could enhance the overall flow and sophistication of the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that affect clarity and coherence. For instance, the phrase "the labor market is increasingly competitive these days, therefore, many people always concentrate on all work" contains a comma splice; it should be split into two sentences or connected with a conjunction. Additionally, the phrase "young parents having children later in life could lead to the risk of diseases" lacks clarity and could be rephrased for better understanding. Punctuation is generally correct, but there are instances where commas could improve readability, such as before "which leads to health problems during and after birth."
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, focus on avoiding comma splices by ensuring that independent clauses are properly connected. Reviewing the rules for complex sentences and dependent clauses can also help clarify ideas. Furthermore, practicing punctuation rules, particularly regarding the use of commas in lists and before conjunctions, will improve the overall readability of the essay. Consider revising sentences for clarity and coherence, ensuring that each idea is expressed in a straightforward manner.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent years, the decision by parents to start a family later in life has become an increasingly popular trend. There are a number of reasons for this trend, which is significantly impacting both family life and the community as a whole.

There are two important reasons why more people nowadays are deciding against having children when they are young. Firstly, the labor market is increasingly competitive these days; therefore, many people focus exclusively on their work. People have little time to care for a child due to their busy work schedules and lack the time to raise a baby. Secondly, many couples decide to have children later in life because they are too preoccupied with career advancement. For example, young parents want to make a lot of money and get promoted at work, even though they always want to take the lead and be a big boss in their own careers.

However, this tendency could have negative consequences for both family life and society. To begin with, the decision to have children later increases the rate of the aging population, which is a serious problem for society. For instance, society does not have enough young people for work and to develop the country increasingly. Furthermore, it also causes problems for family life; young parents having children later in life could lead to the risk of diseases for both parent and child. When females get older, they become physically worse, which leads to health problems during and after birth. Moreover, young parents may not even be able to give birth.

In conclusion, it is clear that there are various reasons and effects of people delaying parenthood in life.