Nowadays people have expectations to get things instantly (news, products, services) and do not want to wait. Why? Positive or negative development?

Nowadays people have expectations to get things instantly (news, products, services) and do not want to wait.
Why?
Positive or negative development?

Today, people have expectations to get things instantly (news, products, services) without wanting to wait. There are two main reasons why people expect that. In my opinion, this development is positive as well as negative.
There are two main reasons why people expect to have things instantly instead of waiting. First, when people get things quickly, it can help them save as much time as possible. Thanks to this, they can spend time on working or earning a great deal of money instead of waiting for something like news, products, services. Second, if people wait to get things such as news, products, services for a long time, it can make them feel uncomfortable. For example, people who are stressed at work because of busy schedules will easily get angry with waiting for services or buying a product.
In my opinion, the expectations to get things instantly (news, products, services) are positive and negative. On the one hand, when people get things instantly without waiting, it can make them become happy and more comfortable. Owing to this, people can avoid being stressed as well as improve their standard of living considerably. On the other hand, if wanting to have things instantly is more considerable, it can make people impatient. Therefore, people will give up easily when having difficulty in working or doing different things.
In conclusion, people expect to get things instantly (news, products, services) and do not want to wait because of two main reasons. In my opinion, the benefits and drawbacks of this development are equal.

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Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "people have expectations to get things instantly" -> "individuals expect immediate access to goods and services"
   Explanation: The phrase "have expectations to get things instantly" is awkward and unclear. "Individuals expect immediate access to goods and services" is more precise and formal, enhancing clarity and appropriateness for academic writing.

2. "without wanting to wait" -> "without delay"
   Explanation: "Without wanting to wait" is redundant and informal. "Without delay" is a more concise and formal alternative that effectively conveys the same meaning.

3. "this development is positive as well as negative" -> "this trend has both positive and negative implications"
   Explanation: "This development is positive as well as negative" is somewhat informal and lacks specificity. "This trend has both positive and negative implications" is more formal and accurately reflects the complex nature of the issue.

4. "help them save as much time as possible" -> "enable them to conserve time"
   Explanation: "Save as much time as possible" is a bit informal and vague. "Enable them to conserve time" is more precise and formal, fitting the academic style better.

5. "spend time on working or earning a great deal of money" -> "devote time to their work or pursue lucrative opportunities"
   Explanation: "Spend time on working or earning a great deal of money" is informal and lacks specificity. "Devote time to their work or pursue lucrative opportunities" is more formal and precise, enhancing the academic tone.

6. "make them feel uncomfortable" -> "cause discomfort"
   Explanation: "Make them feel uncomfortable" is slightly informal and verbose. "Cause discomfort" is concise and maintains the formal tone.

7. "people who are stressed at work because of busy schedules" -> "individuals experiencing work-related stress due to demanding schedules"
   Explanation: "People who are stressed at work because of busy schedules" is informal and lacks specificity. "Individuals experiencing work-related stress due to demanding schedules" is more formal and precise.

8. "easily get angry with waiting for services or buying a product" -> "easily become frustrated with waiting for services or purchasing products"
   Explanation: "Get angry with waiting for services or buying a product" is informal and imprecise. "Become frustrated with waiting for services or purchasing products" is more formal and accurately describes the emotional response.

9. "the expectations to get things instantly" -> "the expectation of immediate access"
   Explanation: "The expectations to get things instantly" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "The expectation of immediate access" corrects the grammar and enhances clarity.

10. "do not want to wait because of two main reasons" -> "avoid waiting due to two primary reasons"
    Explanation: "Do not want to wait because of two main reasons" is informal and slightly awkward. "Avoid waiting due to two primary reasons" is more formal and flows better in academic writing.

11. "the benefits and drawbacks of this development are equal" -> "the benefits and drawbacks of this trend are balanced"
    Explanation: "The benefits and drawbacks of this development are equal" is somewhat simplistic and informal. "The benefits and drawbacks of this trend are balanced" suggests a more nuanced understanding of the complex nature of the issue, aligning better with academic standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons behind the expectation for instant gratification and presents both positive and negative aspects of this trend. The author identifies two main reasons for the expectation of instant results: time-saving and discomfort associated with waiting. However, while the reasons are clearly stated, the essay could benefit from a deeper exploration of the implications of these expectations on society as a whole.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should elaborate on the broader societal impacts of instant gratification, such as its effects on mental health, consumer behavior, and social interactions. Including specific examples or statistics could strengthen the argument and provide a more comprehensive view of the topic.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a mixed position regarding the development of instant expectations, stating that it is both positive and negative. However, this dual stance can lead to ambiguity. The author mentions both sides but does not clearly prioritize one over the other, which may confuse readers about the main argument.
  • How to improve: To clarify the position, the writer should choose a more definitive stance or clearly delineate the conditions under which the development could be seen as more positive or negative. Using phrases like "while I acknowledge the benefits, I believe the drawbacks outweigh them" can help establish a clearer viewpoint.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas related to the reasons for instant expectations and their consequences. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the mention of stress and impatience could be expanded with examples or studies that illustrate the psychological effects of instant gratification.
  • How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the writer should provide more detailed explanations and examples. For instance, discussing how instant access to information can lead to information overload or how it affects interpersonal relationships would add depth to the argument. Additionally, integrating counterarguments could enhance the complexity of the discussion.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the reasons for the expectation of instant results and the positive and negative aspects of this trend. However, there are moments where the discussion becomes repetitive, particularly in restating the reasons without adding new insights.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should avoid redundancy by ensuring that each point made adds new information or perspective. Using varied vocabulary and sentence structures can help keep the reader engaged and reinforce the main ideas without unnecessary repetition.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, there is room for improvement in depth, clarity, and engagement with the prompt.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively outlines the main points, and each body paragraph addresses a specific reason for the expectation of instant gratification. However, the transition between ideas could be improved. For instance, the shift from discussing the reasons for instant expectations to the positive and negative aspects could be more fluid. The essay does not clearly delineate the two sides of the argument, which can lead to confusion for the reader.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clearer topic sentences that outline the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, employing transitional phrases (e.g., "Firstly," "In contrast," "Furthermore") can help guide the reader through the argument and clarify the relationship between points.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the topic. However, the paragraphs could be more developed. For example, the second body paragraph could benefit from more examples or elaboration on how instant access improves quality of life. The conclusion, while summarizing the main points, does not provide a strong final thought or reflection on the implications of the discussion.
  • How to improve: To strengthen paragraph development, aim to include more detailed examples and explanations within each paragraph. For instance, when discussing the positive aspects of instant access, consider providing specific scenarios or statistics that illustrate the benefits. Additionally, the conclusion could be enhanced by offering a more definitive statement about the overall impact of instant expectations on society.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices, such as "first," "second," and "on the one hand." However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, which can make the writing feel repetitive. For example, the phrase "people expect to get things instantly" is repeated multiple times, which detracts from the overall fluency of the essay.
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating synonyms or rephrasing to avoid repetition. Additionally, using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., "Moreover," "In addition," "Conversely") can enhance the flow of ideas and improve coherence. Practicing the use of different cohesive devices in various contexts will help in achieving a more sophisticated writing style.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and maintains a clear structure, there are areas for improvement in logical organization, paragraph development, and the use of cohesive devices. Focusing on these aspects will help elevate the essay to a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, but it often relies on repetitive phrases such as "things instantly," "news, products, services," and "waiting." While the writer attempts to express their ideas clearly, the limited variation in word choice detracts from the overall richness of the language. For instance, the phrase "get things instantly" appears multiple times without synonyms or alternative expressions, which could enhance the essay’s lexical diversity.
  • How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly saying "get things instantly," alternatives like "receive immediate access" or "obtain promptly" could be used. Additionally, using more descriptive adjectives or adverbs could help convey ideas more vividly, such as "rapidly" instead of "instantly."

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains some instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "expectations to get things instantly" could be more accurately expressed as "expectations for immediate gratification." Furthermore, the term "considerable" in "if wanting to have things instantly is more considerable" is vague and does not clearly convey the intended meaning. This lack of precision can lead to confusion for the reader.
  • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary precision, the writer should focus on using contextually appropriate terms. For instance, instead of "considerable," they might use "prevalent" or "dominant" to better describe the trend of seeking instant gratification. Additionally, reviewing vocabulary related to the topic of instant access could provide more specific terms that align with the essay’s arguments.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates good spelling, with no significant errors that impede understanding. However, there are minor issues, such as the phrase "as well as" being used repetitively, which could lead to confusion in longer sentences. While spelling itself is accurate, the overall clarity of the essay could be improved by refining sentence structures and avoiding redundancy.
  • How to improve: To enhance spelling and overall clarity, the writer should practice proofreading their work for repetitive phrases and consider varying sentence structures. Utilizing tools such as spell checkers or grammar-checking software can also help catch any overlooked errors. Additionally, reading the essay aloud can assist in identifying awkward phrasing or redundancy that may affect clarity.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and clarity will enhance the overall quality of the writing. Focusing on these areas will help the writer achieve a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of introductory phrases like "In my opinion" and transitional phrases such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" helps to structure the argument effectively. However, the essay tends to rely on repetitive sentence patterns, particularly in the first two body paragraphs, where the phrase "people expect to have things instantly" is used multiple times. This repetition can detract from the overall sophistication of the writing.
  • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should consider using more complex sentences that incorporate subordinate clauses. For example, instead of repeating "people expect to have things instantly," the writer could rephrase it to "the modern lifestyle has led individuals to anticipate immediate gratification, which can be both beneficial and detrimental." Additionally, incorporating more varied sentence openings and using passive voice where appropriate can further diversify the writing style.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The grammatical accuracy of the essay is generally good, with few noticeable errors. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and punctuation issues. For example, the phrase "Thanks to this, they can spend time on working or earning a great deal of money instead of waiting for something like news, products, services" could be more clearly expressed. The list at the end of this sentence lacks parallel structure, which can confuse readers. Additionally, the use of commas is inconsistent; for instance, there should be a comma before "and" in compound sentences to separate independent clauses.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on ensuring that lists maintain parallel structure. For example, instead of "waiting for something like news, products, services," it could be revised to "waiting for news, products, or services." Furthermore, reviewing the rules for comma usage in compound sentences and practicing sentence combining techniques can help enhance clarity and coherence. Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on complex sentence constructions can also be beneficial.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Today, people have expectations to get things instantly (news, products, services) without wanting to wait. There are two main reasons why individuals expect this. In my opinion, this development has both positive and negative implications.

First, when individuals receive things quickly, it can help them save as much time as possible. Thanks to this, they can devote time to their work or pursue lucrative opportunities instead of waiting for something like news, products, or services. Second, if individuals wait to receive things such as news, products, or services for a long time, it can cause discomfort. For example, individuals experiencing work-related stress due to demanding schedules will easily become frustrated with waiting for services or purchasing products.

In my opinion, the expectation of immediate access to goods and services is both positive and negative. On the one hand, when individuals receive things instantly without waiting, it can make them happier and more comfortable. Owing to this, people can avoid being stressed and improve their standard of living considerably. On the other hand, if the desire to have things instantly becomes more considerable, it can make individuals impatient. Therefore, people may give up easily when facing difficulties in working or doing different tasks.

In conclusion, individuals expect to get things instantly (news, products, services) and do not want to wait for two main reasons. In my opinion, the benefits and drawbacks of this trend are balanced.