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Nowadays, the traditions and customs relating to the food we eat and the way we eat are changing. Why is this happening? Do you think this kind of change is positive or negative?

Nowadays, the traditions and customs relating to the food we eat and the way we eat are changing. Why is this happening? Do you think this kind of change is positive or negative?

In recent times, there has been a noticeable shift in the traditions and customs associated with our food and eating habits. This essay will explore the reasons behind this phenomenon and express my viewpoint on whether these changes are beneficial or detrimental.

The primary reason for this transformation can be attributed to globalization and the advent of technology. As people are exposed to diverse cultures and cuisines, they are more likely to adopt new food habits. Moreover, the fast-paced lifestyle of the modern world has led to the popularity of quick meals and fast food. While this change provides variety and convenience, it also distances us from our traditional food practices.

In my opinion, this change is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it broadens our culinary horizons and caters to our busy schedules. On the other hand, it can lead to the loss of traditional recipes and cooking methods that have been passed down through generations. Furthermore, the shift towards fast food and processed meals has serious implications for our health, contributing to the rise in obesity and lifestyle diseases.

In conclusion, while the changing food traditions are a reflection of our evolving society, it is crucial to strike a balance. Embracing new food cultures should not come at the cost of forgetting our roots or compromising our health. Therefore, it is essential to promote mindful eating and preserve our traditional food customs for future generations.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "In recent times" -> "Recently"
    Explanation: Replacing the phrase "In recent times" with "Recently" maintains conciseness and avoids unnecessary formality, aligning better with academic style.

  2. "there has been a noticeable shift" -> "a discernible shift has occurred"
    Explanation: The phrase "there has been a noticeable shift" is replaced with "a discernible shift has occurred" for a more formal and precise expression.

  3. "This essay will explore" -> "This essay aims to examine"
    Explanation: The phrase "This essay will explore" is replaced with "This essay aims to examine" for a more direct and academic tone.

  4. "express my viewpoint" -> "present my perspective"
    Explanation: "express my viewpoint" is substituted with "present my perspective" for a more formal and academically appropriate choice of words.

  5. "phenomenon" -> "occurrence"
    Explanation: Replacing "phenomenon" with "occurrence" maintains formality while conveying the same meaning more precisely.

  6. "adopt new food habits" -> "embrace novel dietary practices"
    Explanation: Substituting "adopt new food habits" with "embrace novel dietary practices" enhances the vocabulary to better fit an academic context.

  7. "the fast-paced lifestyle of the modern world" -> "the rapid pace of contemporary living"
    Explanation: The phrase "the fast-paced lifestyle of the modern world" is replaced with "the rapid pace of contemporary living" for a more sophisticated expression.

  8. "quick meals and fast food" -> "convenient meals and fast food options"
    Explanation: The phrase "quick meals and fast food" is modified to "convenient meals and fast food options" for added precision and formality.

  9. "On one hand" -> "Firstly"
    Explanation: Replacing "On one hand" with "Firstly" introduces a more structured and formal transition.

  10. "it broadens our culinary horizons" -> "it expands our gastronomic horizons"
    Explanation: Substituting "it broadens our culinary horizons" with "it expands our gastronomic horizons" introduces more sophisticated language.

  11. "caters to our busy schedules" -> "accommodates our hectic lifestyles"
    Explanation: Replacing "caters to our busy schedules" with "accommodates our hectic lifestyles" enhances the formality and specificity of the expression.

  12. "double-edged sword" -> "ambiguous outcome"
    Explanation: "double-edged sword" is substituted with "ambiguous outcome" for a more formal and nuanced expression.

  13. "traditional recipes and cooking methods" -> "time-honored recipes and culinary techniques"
    Explanation: The phrase "traditional recipes and cooking methods" is replaced with "time-honored recipes and culinary techniques" for a more elevated and precise language.

  14. "passed down through generations" -> "transmitted across generations"
    Explanation: "passed down through generations" is replaced with "transmitted across generations" for a more formal and precise representation.

  15. "Furthermore" -> "Moreover"
    Explanation: Replacing "Furthermore" with "Moreover" enhances the transition between ideas, maintaining a formal tone.

  16. "the rise in obesity and lifestyle diseases" -> "the increase in obesity and related lifestyle diseases"
    Explanation: "the rise in obesity and lifestyle diseases" is modified to "the increase in obesity and related lifestyle diseases" for greater specificity and formality.

  17. "while the changing food traditions" -> "although the evolving food traditions"
    Explanation: Substituting "while the changing food traditions" with "although the evolving food traditions" maintains a more formal and nuanced expression.

  18. "it is crucial to strike a balance" -> "it is imperative to achieve equilibrium"
    Explanation: Replacing "it is crucial to strike a balance" with "it is imperative to achieve equilibrium" introduces more advanced vocabulary while maintaining clarity.

  19. "Embracing new food cultures" -> "Adopting novel culinary practices"
    Explanation: The phrase "Embracing new food cultures" is replaced with "Adopting novel culinary practices" for a more formal and sophisticated expression.

  20. "come at the cost of" -> "occur at the expense of"
    Explanation: Substituting "come at the cost of" with "occur at the expense of" provides a more formal and precise wording.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8 – UNDER WORD

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay provides a well-rounded response to the prompt, discussing both the reasons behind the changing food traditions and the author’s opinion on whether this change is positive or negative. However, it falls short of providing a comprehensive analysis in a few areas. For instance, the reasons for the shift are mentioned, but more specific examples or evidence could enhance the depth of the analysis.
    • How to improve: To improve, consider providing more specific examples or elaborating on the mentioned reasons. For instance, instead of stating "globalization and the advent of technology," provide concrete examples or trends within these broad categories that contribute to the change.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position, expressing the author’s view that the change in food traditions is a double-edged sword. The stance is consistent throughout, with the acknowledgment of both positive and negative aspects.
    • How to improve: To further enhance clarity, ensure that each paragraph and supporting point directly align with the overall position. This will strengthen the essay’s coherence and reinforce the chosen standpoint.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports ideas. Each point is introduced and elaborated upon, providing a logical flow of thoughts. Specific examples, such as the impact on health and the potential loss of traditional recipes, strengthen the argument.
    • How to improve: Continue incorporating specific examples and details to further support key ideas. This will not only add depth to the essay but also provide a more convincing case for the stated opinions.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the reasons for the changing food traditions and the author’s perspective on whether it is positive or negative. However, some sections, particularly the introductory paragraph, could be more concise and directly related to the prompt.
    • How to improve: Focus on ensuring every sentence contributes directly to addressing the prompt. Eliminate any unnecessary information in the introduction that does not directly connect to the discussion of changing food traditions.

In conclusion, the essay effectively addresses the prompt but can benefit from more specific examples, enhanced coherence, and a more concise introduction. These improvements will contribute to a more comprehensive and well-rounded response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of logical organization. It begins with a clear introduction that sets the stage for the discussion. The body paragraphs follow a logical sequence, addressing the reasons for the change in food traditions and the author’s opinion on its positive and negative aspects. The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points. However, there is room for improvement in the transition between paragraphs, as some could be more smoothly connected to enhance the overall coherence.

    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases or sentences at the beginning or end of each paragraph. For instance, phrases like "Furthermore," or "On the contrary," can guide the reader through the essay, ensuring a smoother transition between ideas. Additionally, review the essay to ensure that each paragraph builds upon the previous one, creating a cohesive and connected narrative.

  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs effectively, with each one dedicated to a specific idea or aspect of the topic. The introduction and conclusion are distinct, and the body paragraphs are appropriately structured. However, some paragraphs could benefit from more elaboration to fully develop the ideas presented.

    • How to improve: Consider providing more detailed examples or explanations within each body paragraph to further support the main points. This will not only enhance the depth of the analysis but also contribute to a more comprehensive and well-developed essay. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and follows a coherent structure with sufficient supporting details.

  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes a variety of cohesive devices, including transitional words and phrases (e.g., "Moreover," "On the other hand," "Furthermore"). These devices contribute to the overall coherence by connecting ideas and guiding the reader through the essay. However, there is an opportunity to diversify the types of cohesive devices used and strengthen their placement for a more nuanced effect.

    • How to improve: While the current cohesive devices are effective, consider incorporating a mix of pronouns, synonyms, and parallel structures to add variety. Additionally, pay attention to the placement of cohesive devices to ensure a seamless connection between sentences and paragraphs. This will contribute to a more sophisticated and polished writing style, enhancing the overall coherence of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. It effectively discusses the topic and employs a variety of words to convey ideas. For instance, words like "phenomenon," "culinary horizons," and "mindful eating" show a willingness to explore diverse vocabulary.

    • How to improve: To enhance the score in this aspect, consider incorporating more specific and nuanced vocabulary. While the essay effectively communicates, there is room for elevating the richness of expression. For example, instead of using "double-edged sword," explore alternatives like "ambivalent dilemma" or "paradoxical situation" to add depth to the language.

  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary appropriately, but there are instances where word choices could be more precise. For example, the phrase "loss of traditional recipes" could be refined to "erosion of traditional culinary practices" for a more accurate representation.

    • How to improve: Pay close attention to the subtleties of word meanings. Consider using a thesaurus to explore synonyms and choose words that align precisely with the intended message. This practice will contribute to the overall clarity and sophistication of the essay.

  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: Spelling is generally accurate throughout the essay. There are no significant spelling errors that impede comprehension.

    • How to improve: Maintain the current level of attention to spelling accuracy. Continue to proofread essays thoroughly to catch any potential errors. Additionally, consider expanding vocabulary to include more complex words without compromising spelling accuracy.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a commendable use of vocabulary, and with a slight refinement and expansion of word choices, it has the potential to achieve an even higher score in the Lexical Resource criterion. Keep refining your vocabulary, and pay attention to precision to elevate the sophistication of expression.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable use of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures that contribute to the overall coherence of the essay. For instance, the writer effectively uses complex sentences to elaborate on the reasons behind changing food traditions.
    • How to improve: While the essay displays variety in sentence structures, there is room to incorporate more sophisticated constructions. Consider incorporating conditional sentences, inverted structures, or more intricate clauses to elevate the complexity and richness of the writing. This can enhance the overall impression of language proficiency.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The grammatical accuracy of the essay is generally sound, with well-constructed sentences and proper subject-verb agreement. Punctuation is used appropriately to separate ideas and indicate pauses. However, there are a few instances where minor errors occur, such as in the sentence "While this change provides variety and convenience, it also distances us from our traditional food practices," where a comma after "While" may enhance clarity.
    • How to improve: Pay careful attention to the use of commas, ensuring they are appropriately placed for clarity and precision. Additionally, review articles (a, an, the) usage to guarantee accuracy. Proofreading the essay before submission can help catch any small grammatical errors and refine the overall language accuracy.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of grammatical range and accuracy, and the suggested improvements focus on refining and enhancing the existing proficiency in sentence structures and grammar usage.

Bài sửa mẫu

Recently, a discernible shift has occurred in the traditions and customs associated with our food and eating habits. This essay aims to examine the reasons behind this phenomenon and present my perspective on whether these changes are positive or negative.

The primary reason for this occurrence can be attributed to globalization and the rapid pace of contemporary living. As people are exposed to diverse cultures and cuisines, they are more likely to embrace novel dietary practices. Moreover, the fast-paced lifestyle of the modern world has led to the popularity of convenient meals and fast food options. While this change provides variety and accommodates our hectic lifestyles, it also distances us from our time-honored recipes and culinary techniques transmitted across generations.

Firstly, it expands our gastronomic horizons and caters to our busy schedules. On the other hand, it can lead to the loss of traditional recipes and cooking methods that have been passed down through generations. Furthermore, the shift towards fast food and processed meals has serious implications for our health, contributing to the increase in obesity and related lifestyle diseases.

In my opinion, this change is a double-edged sword. Although the evolving food traditions broaden our culinary horizons, it is imperative to achieve equilibrium. Adopting novel culinary practices should not occur at the expense of forgetting our roots or compromising our health.

Moreover, the increase in obesity and related lifestyle diseases highlights the ambiguous outcome of this shift. Therefore, it is essential to promote mindful eating and preserve our traditional food customs for future generations. In conclusion, while the changing food traditions are a reflection of our evolving society, striking a balance is crucial to ensure the positive aspects are embraced without jeopardizing our cultural heritage and well-being.

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