Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of the media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

There is a current trend in the press that centers on issues and crises instead of encouraging advancements. This phenomenon can be attributed to several causes, and I think it will create negative effects.
On the one hand, the proliferation of negative news is considered a strategy to help media outlets increase revenue. People are often susceptible to negative news, so if press coverage focuses on negative news, it will garner publicity, which helps the press take advantage of curiosity and increase subscription. For example, when a new agency in VietNam replaced neutral works with sensational words in their headline, statistics showed that their website was attended more often, which led to an increase of about 30% of revenue from advertising and subscriptions. Therefore, it is undeniable that the popularity of sensational headlines is closely linked to the survival and development of the press or magazines. By contrast, if this approach is ignored, a failing circulation is predictable and media outlets can fall behind in competition with their competitors.
On the other hand, excessive exposure to negative content can lead to misleading or distorted perceptions, adversely affecting our lives. When individuals are inundated with reports of crime, violence, and conflict, they may gradually develop aggressive behavioral patterns, posing a threat to social harmony, particularly among children. A notable example occurred during the premiere of the film "The Dark Knight Rises" in the United States, when a young man, dressed as the movie's villain, opened fire in a cinema, resulting in numerous victims. This incident highlights the potential dangers of widespread dissemination of violent and negative content, which can foster a violent mindset in young audiences and contribute to rising crime rates.
In conclusion, the media's current focus on negative reporting is primarily driven by the quest for increased revenue. While there are additional reasons for this trend, and in my opinion, it will have adverse effects.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"There is a current trend in the press" -> "There is a prevailing trend in the media"
Explanation: Replacing "in the press" with "in the media" broadens the scope to encompass all forms of media, not just print press, which is more inclusive and accurate in today’s digital landscape.
"centers on issues and crises" -> "focuses on issues and crises"
Explanation: "Centers on" is less formal and slightly vague; "focuses on" is more precise and commonly used in academic writing.
"I think it will create negative effects" -> "it is likely to have adverse effects"
Explanation: "I think" is too informal for academic writing; "it is likely to have adverse effects" is more assertive and formal, suitable for academic discourse.
"People are often susceptible to negative news" -> "Individuals are frequently drawn to negative news"
Explanation: "Susceptible" implies vulnerability, which is not the intended meaning here. "Drawn to" more accurately describes the attraction to negative news.
"it will garner publicity" -> "it will attract attention"
Explanation: "Garner publicity" is a bit informal and less precise; "attract attention" is straightforward and maintains a formal tone.
"statistics showed that their website was attended more often" -> "statistics indicated that their website received more frequent visits"
Explanation: "Attended more often" is awkward and unclear; "received more frequent visits" is clearer and more appropriate for formal writing.
"increase of about 30% of revenue" -> "a 30% increase in revenue"
Explanation: "Increase of about 30% of revenue" is grammatically incorrect; "a 30% increase in revenue" is grammatically correct and clearer.
"a failing circulation is predictable" -> "a decline in circulation is predictable"
Explanation: "Failing circulation" is an awkward and unclear phrase; "decline in circulation" is precise and commonly used in business and academic contexts.
"media outlets can fall behind in competition" -> "media outlets may lag behind in competition"
Explanation: "Fall behind" is slightly informal; "lag behind" is more formal and suitable for academic writing.
"excessive exposure to negative content" -> "excessive exposure to adverse content"
Explanation: "Negative" is somewhat vague; "adverse" is more specific and academically precise, implying harm or unfavorable effects.
"misleading or distorted perceptions" -> "misleading or distorted views"
Explanation: "Perceptions" can be vague; "views" is more specific and commonly used in academic discussions about media and public opinion.
"aggressive behavioral patterns" -> "aggressive behavioral tendencies"
Explanation: "Patterns" can imply a more rigid or fixed behavior; "tendencies" suggests a more fluid and ongoing development, which is more accurate in this context.
"posing a threat to social harmony" -> "threatening social harmony"
Explanation: "Posing a threat" is slightly informal; "threatening" is more direct and formal, fitting the academic style.
"a young man, dressed as the movie’s villain, opened fire" -> "a young man, dressed as the movie’s villain, opened fire"
Explanation: This sentence is correct as it is, but it could be rephrased to "a young man, dressed as the movie’s villain, fired" for a more concise and formal tone.
"foster a violent mindset" -> "promote a violent mindset"
Explanation: "Foster" is less direct and slightly informal; "promote" is more straightforward and commonly used in academic discussions about the impact of media on society.

These changes enhance the precision, formality, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt: it discusses why the media focuses on negative news and evaluates whether this trend is positive or negative. The first paragraph outlines the financial motivations behind this focus, while the second paragraph discusses the negative societal impacts. However, the response could benefit from a more balanced exploration of both sides, particularly the potential positive aspects of negative reporting, which are only briefly acknowledged.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should consider including a more explicit discussion of any positive outcomes from negative reporting, such as raising awareness about important issues or prompting social change. This would provide a more nuanced view and demonstrate a deeper engagement with the prompt.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that the focus on negative news is detrimental. This stance is consistently reinforced throughout the essay, particularly in the conclusion. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit articulation of this position in the introduction, as the phrase "I think it will create negative effects" could be more assertively stated.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the writer should clearly state their position in the introduction, perhaps by rephrasing it to something like, "I argue that this trend is fundamentally negative." This would set a stronger tone for the essay and help maintain focus on this viewpoint.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents relevant ideas and supports them with examples, such as the statistics regarding media revenue and the example of the violent incident related to "The Dark Knight Rises." However, the development of ideas could be more thorough. For instance, the connection between negative news and aggressive behavior is mentioned but not deeply explored.
- How to improve: To strengthen the development of ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate further on key points. This could involve discussing the psychological effects of negative news on different demographics or providing additional examples of how negative reporting has led to social change or awareness. Including counterarguments could also enrich the discussion.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the media’s trend towards negative reporting and its implications. However, there are moments where the focus could be sharpened. For example, the transition from discussing media revenue to societal impacts could be smoother, as the connection between these ideas is somewhat abrupt.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each paragraph logically flows into the next. Using transitional phrases that link the financial motivations to the societal consequences would help create a cohesive narrative. Additionally, reiterating the main topic in each paragraph’s concluding sentence can reinforce relevance.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the prompt and presents a coherent argument. By addressing the suggestions for improvement, the writer could enhance the depth and clarity of their response, potentially raising their band score in Task Response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is structured effectively, with a clear introduction, two main body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph addresses a distinct aspect of the prompt, which aids in understanding the argument. The first paragraph discusses the reasons behind the trend of negative reporting, while the second examines its consequences. For instance, the transition from discussing media strategies to the implications of negative news is smooth and logical, allowing the reader to follow the argument effortlessly.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow further, consider using more explicit linking phrases between ideas within paragraphs. For example, when transitioning from discussing revenue strategies to the consequences of negative news, phrases like "Furthermore" or "In addition" could strengthen the connection between the two points.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs, each serving a clear purpose. The introduction sets the stage, the body paragraphs delve into specific arguments, and the conclusion summarizes the main points. Each paragraph is focused and maintains a clear topic, which is essential for coherence. The use of topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph helps orient the reader to the main idea being discussed.
- How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, consider ensuring that each paragraph contains a clear concluding sentence that reinforces the main idea. This can help to encapsulate the argument made in the paragraph and provide a smoother transition to the next point.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand," "By contrast," and "In conclusion," which help to guide the reader through the argument. These devices effectively signal shifts in perspective and summarize points, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay. The examples provided are relevant and illustrate the points well, enhancing the reader’s understanding.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, using "Additionally," "Consequently," or "As a result" can help to create more nuanced connections between ideas. This variety can enhance the richness of the essay and prevent it from becoming repetitive.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, effectively organizing information and using paragraphs and cohesive devices to guide the reader. With minor adjustments, particularly in enhancing transitions and diversifying cohesive devices, the essay could achieve an even higher level of coherence.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms like "proliferation," "sensational," and "misleading." These choices effectively convey complex ideas and contribute to the overall clarity of the argument. However, there are instances where more varied vocabulary could enhance the essay. For example, the repeated use of "negative news" and "negative content" could be substituted with synonyms such as "adverse reports" or "pessimistic coverage" to avoid redundancy.
- How to improve: To elevate the lexical range, consider incorporating synonyms and related terms throughout the essay. A thesaurus can be a useful tool for finding alternatives that maintain the intended meaning while enriching the vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments of imprecision. For instance, the phrase "the popularity of sensational headlines is closely linked to the survival and development of the press" could be misinterpreted as suggesting that sensationalism is beneficial for media development, which is not the intended message. Additionally, "attended more often" is somewhat awkward; "visited more frequently" would be more precise.
- How to improve: Focus on refining word choices to ensure clarity and precision. Review sentences for potential ambiguities and consider the context in which terms are used. Practicing paraphrasing can also help in finding more precise vocabulary.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words like "phenomenon," "aggressive," and "subscription" are spelled correctly, demonstrating a solid command of spelling conventions.
- How to improve: To maintain and further improve spelling accuracy, regular practice through writing exercises and proofreading can be beneficial. Additionally, reading extensively can help reinforce correct spelling through exposure to well-written texts.

Overall, the essay reflects a strong command of lexical resource, achieving a Band 7 due to its effective vocabulary usage, with room for improvement in range, precision, and continued attention to spelling accuracy.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "this phenomenon can be attributed to several causes" and "excessive exposure to negative content can lead to misleading or distorted perceptions" showcases the ability to construct complex ideas effectively. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the use of "it is" and "there is," which could be diversified further.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases or clauses. For example, instead of starting several sentences with "this" or "there," you could use participial phrases or adverbial clauses. Additionally, integrating more conditional sentences or using inversion for emphasis could further enrich the essay’s grammatical range.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with only a few minor errors. For instance, the phrase "when a new agency in VietNam replaced neutral works with sensational words in their headline" could be improved by changing "works" to "reporting" for clarity. Additionally, the sentence "which helps the press take advantage of curiosity and increase subscription" should use "subscriptions" in the plural form to match the context. Punctuation is mostly accurate, but there are some instances where commas could enhance readability, such as before "particularly among children" in the second body paragraph.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on ensuring subject-verb agreement and the correct use of plural forms. Proofreading for common errors, such as word choice and punctuation placement, will also help. Consider practicing with grammar exercises that target specific areas of difficulty, such as articles and pluralization. Additionally, reading more complex texts can help internalize correct grammatical structures and punctuation usage.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will enhance the overall quality and coherence of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

There is a prevailing trend in the media that centers on issues and crises instead of highlighting positive developments. This phenomenon can be attributed to several causes, and I believe it is likely to have adverse effects.

On the one hand, the focus on negative news is often seen as a strategy to help media outlets increase revenue. Individuals are frequently drawn to negative news, so when press coverage emphasizes these issues, it will attract attention, allowing the media to capitalize on public curiosity and boost subscriptions. For instance, when a news agency in Vietnam replaced neutral articles with sensational headlines, statistics indicated that their website received more frequent visits, leading to a 30% increase in revenue from advertising and subscriptions. Therefore, it is undeniable that the popularity of sensational headlines is closely linked to the survival and development of the press or magazines. Conversely, if this approach is neglected, a decline in circulation is predictable, and media outlets may lag behind in competition with their rivals.

On the other hand, excessive exposure to adverse content can lead to misleading or distorted views, adversely affecting our lives. When individuals are inundated with reports of crime, violence, and conflict, they may gradually develop aggressive behavioral tendencies, posing a threat to social harmony, particularly among children. A notable example occurred during the premiere of the film “The Dark Knight Rises” in the United States, when a young man, dressed as the movie’s villain, opened fire in a cinema, resulting in numerous victims. This incident underscores the potential dangers of widespread dissemination of violent and negative content, which can promote a violent mindset in young audiences and contribute to rising crime rates.

In conclusion, the media’s current focus on negative reporting is primarily driven by the quest for increased revenue. While there are additional reasons for this trend, in my opinion, it will have detrimental effects on society.