One of the greatest challenges to humanity in the 21st century is global warming, as sea levels are rising at alarming rates.

Global warming has become an urgent problem for individuals in the 21st century because its serious consequences affecting every aspect of life on Earth . This essay will discuss the reasons behind this problem and offer some essential solutions to it.
One of the most pressing problems facing society today is global warming. This is a phenomenon where the earth's average temperature increases leading to sea levels rising at alarming rate . This is also the main cause of floods and landslides in many places, affecting the daily lives of many people . For example, in the central provinces of Vietnam, floods during high tides and heavy rains are becoming more frequent and more severe . This not only affects daily life but also damages infrastructure such as roads, houses,… Other serious challenge is economic disruption as coastal areas often have vibrant economies and directly affect the national economy . In particular, the costs of repairing infrastructure damage pose a serious financial burden for governments and businesses
In order to improve this issue, the government needs to some possible solutions such as protecting the coast from rising sea levels and reducing the amount of waste into the sea. In addition, the construction of drainage systems will lhelp prevent flooding during the flood season. In particular, the government needs to invest in infrastructure to reduce the loss of human life and property and also reduce the economic burden on many businesses. In addition, to help improve the lives of people in coastal areas, there need more community support projects such as donating money, clothes, and food . These solutions can reduce sea level rise due to global warming
In conclusion, the global warming, as sea levels are rising at alarming rates is an urgent issue as it causes unpredictable consequences that negatively affect life and society. Therefore, protecting the sea and improving infrastructure is very necessary

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"an urgent problem" -> "a pressing concern"
Explanation: "A pressing concern" is a more formal and precise term that better captures the severity and importance of the issue in an academic context.
"affecting every aspect of life on Earth" -> "impacting all aspects of life on Earth"
Explanation: "Impacting" is a more formal synonym for "affecting" and is commonly used in academic writing to describe the influence of a phenomenon on various aspects of life.
"serious consequences" -> "significant consequences"
Explanation: "Significant" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than "serious," which can be somewhat vague and informal in this context.
"at alarming rate" -> "at an alarming rate"
Explanation: Adding "an" before "alarming rate" corrects the grammatical structure, making the phrase more formally correct.
"affecting the daily lives of many people" -> "impacting the daily lives of numerous individuals"
Explanation: "Impacting" is more formal than "affecting," and "numerous individuals" is more precise and formal than "many people."
"floods during high tides and heavy rains" -> "floods caused by high tides and heavy rainfall"
Explanation: "Caused by" clarifies the causal relationship between the tides and rainfall, enhancing the precision of the statement.
"affects daily life but also damages" -> "affects daily life and also damages"
Explanation: Adding "and" before "also" corrects the grammatical structure, making the sentence flow more naturally and formally.
"serious challenge is economic disruption" -> "serious challenge is economic disruption"
Explanation: The phrase "serious challenge is" should be "serious challenges are" to agree with the plural subject "disruption."
"pose a serious financial burden" -> "pose significant financial burdens"
Explanation: "Significant" is more precise and formal than "serious," and "burdens" should be plural to match the plural subject "governments and businesses."
"needs to some possible solutions" -> "requires several possible solutions"
Explanation: "Requires" is more formal than "needs," and "several" is more precise than "some" in this context.
"will lhelp prevent" -> "will help prevent"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error in "help."
"reduce the loss of human life and property" -> "mitigate the loss of human life and property"
Explanation: "Mitigate" is a more precise and formal term than "reduce" in this context, suggesting a reduction in severity rather than just quantity.
"there need more community support projects" -> "there is a need for more community support projects"
Explanation: "There is a need for" corrects the grammatical structure and clarifies the necessity of the projects.
"donating money, clothes, and food" -> "donations of money, clothing, and food"
Explanation: "Donations" is a more formal and precise term than "donating," and "clothing" is the correct plural form.
"reduce sea level rise due to global warming" -> "mitigate sea level rise caused by global warming"
Explanation: "Mitigate" is more specific and formal than "reduce," and "caused by" is more precise than "due to" in this context.
"protecting the sea and improving infrastructure is very necessary" -> "protecting the coast and enhancing infrastructure is crucial"
Explanation: "Enhancing" is more specific than "improving," and "crucial" is more formal and emphatic than "very necessary."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the challenges posed by global warming, particularly the rising sea levels, and offers solutions. The introduction clearly states the urgency of the issue, and the body paragraphs provide specific examples, such as the flooding in Vietnam, which effectively illustrates the problem. However, while the essay mentions both the causes and solutions, it could delve deeper into the implications of these challenges on a global scale, which would enhance the response.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the essay could include more detailed analysis of the broader impacts of global warming beyond local examples. Additionally, discussing the international cooperation needed to tackle global warming would provide a more rounded answer.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position regarding the seriousness of global warming and the need for solutions. However, the position could be strengthened by consistently linking back to the main argument throughout the essay. For instance, while the introduction sets a clear tone, some sections in the body could benefit from clearer transitions that reinforce the urgency of the issue and the proposed solutions.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should use topic sentences that reiterate the main argument in each paragraph. Additionally, summarizing the main points in the conclusion while reinforcing the urgency of action against global warming would help solidify the position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents relevant ideas and examples, such as the impact of flooding in Vietnam and the economic challenges posed by global warming. However, some ideas are not fully developed. For instance, the mention of economic disruption could be expanded with specific statistics or examples of how this affects communities or nations.
- How to improve: To effectively present, elaborate, and substantiate ideas, the writer should provide more detailed explanations and evidence for each point made. Incorporating data, expert opinions, or case studies would enhance the credibility of the arguments and provide a more comprehensive view of the issues discussed.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on global warming and its effects. However, there are moments where the focus shifts slightly, such as when discussing community support projects, which could be seen as somewhat tangential to the main discussion of rising sea levels and infrastructure needs.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the main topic of global warming and its immediate effects. It may be beneficial to prioritize solutions that are directly linked to mitigating the impacts of rising sea levels, rather than broader community support initiatives that, while important, may distract from the central argument.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, there is room for improvement in depth, clarity, and focus. By addressing these areas, the essay could achieve a higher band score in the Task Response criteria.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing the problems associated with global warming, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, outlining the focus on causes and solutions. However, the progression of ideas within the body paragraphs could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing the effects of global warming to potential solutions is somewhat abrupt, which may confuse readers about the relationship between the two sections.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect the problems to the proposed solutions. For example, after discussing the economic impacts of global warming, a phrase like "To address these economic challenges" could serve as a bridge to the solutions section. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates back to the thesis will help maintain coherence throughout the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of global warming, such as its effects and proposed solutions. However, some paragraphs could be more clearly defined. For instance, the second paragraph combines multiple ideas about the effects of global warming without clear separation, which can make it harder for the reader to follow.
- How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph has a distinct focus and that related ideas are grouped together. For example, consider splitting the second paragraph into two: one focusing on environmental impacts (like floods and landslides) and another on economic impacts. This will create clearer distinctions between different types of information and enhance readability.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "for example," "in addition," and "therefore." These devices help to connect ideas and guide the reader through the argument. However, there is a tendency to rely on a limited range of cohesive devices, which can make the writing feel repetitive and less engaging.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, use alternatives like "furthermore," "consequently," or "on the other hand" to introduce new ideas or contrast points. Additionally, consider using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned concepts, which can help to avoid redundancy and maintain cohesion throughout the essay.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant information, focusing on improving the logical connections between ideas, refining paragraph structure, and expanding the use of cohesive devices will enhance the overall coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary related to the topic of global warming. Terms such as "urgent problem," "serious consequences," "economic disruption," and "infrastructure" are appropriately used. However, the vocabulary tends to be somewhat repetitive, particularly with phrases like "rising sea levels" and "affects daily life," which appear multiple times without variation. This limits the overall lexical diversity of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For instance, instead of repeating "rising sea levels," alternatives like "increasing ocean levels" or "elevating water levels" could be used. Additionally, exploring more advanced vocabulary related to environmental issues, such as "catastrophic," "mitigation," or "sustainability," would enrich the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "serious challenge" could be more effectively expressed as "significant challenge" or "critical challenge." Additionally, the phrase "the costs of repairing infrastructure damage pose a serious financial burden" could be rephrased for clarity and precision, as "serious financial burden" is somewhat vague and could benefit from more specific language.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on selecting words that convey exact meanings. Utilizing a thesaurus can help find more suitable words. For example, instead of "essential solutions," the writer could use "viable solutions" or "effective strategies." Furthermore, ensuring that phrases are grammatically correct and contextually appropriate will enhance clarity.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "lhelp" instead of "help," and "there need more community support projects" should be "there needs to be more community support projects." These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully, ideally multiple times. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors. Additionally, practicing spelling common academic vocabulary and terms related to the topic will build confidence and accuracy in writing.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of lexical resource, there are clear areas for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these aspects, the writer can enhance their overall score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and some complex sentences. For example, the use of "This is a phenomenon where the earth’s average temperature increases leading to sea levels rising at alarming rate" shows an attempt at complexity. However, many sentences are quite straightforward and lack variation. Phrases like "In order to improve this issue, the government needs to some possible solutions" could be restructured for greater variety and clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses and varied conjunctions. For instance, instead of "In addition, the construction of drainage systems will help prevent flooding during the flood season," the writer could say, "Moreover, by constructing effective drainage systems, the government can significantly mitigate flooding during the flood season." Practicing sentence combining exercises and reading a variety of academic texts can help in developing a more diverse sentence structure.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. For instance, "leading to sea levels rising at alarming rate" should be "leading to sea levels rising at an alarming rate," as it is missing the article "an." Additionally, phrases like "Other serious challenge is economic disruption" should be "Another serious challenge is economic disruption," to maintain subject-verb agreement and proper article usage. Punctuation errors, such as the inconsistent use of commas, detract from the overall readability of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement, article usage, and proper punctuation. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those focusing on articles and subject-verb agreement, would be beneficial. Furthermore, proofreading the essay for punctuation errors and ensuring that commas are used correctly to separate clauses and list items can enhance clarity. Reading aloud can also help identify awkward phrasing and grammatical mistakes.

In summary, while the essay addresses the prompt and presents relevant ideas, there is significant room for improvement in both the variety of sentence structures and the accuracy of grammar and punctuation. By focusing on these areas, the writer can aim for a higher band score in future essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

Global warming has become an urgent problem for individuals in the 21st century because its serious consequences are affecting every aspect of life on Earth. This essay will discuss the reasons behind this problem and offer some essential solutions to it.

One of the most pressing problems facing society today is global warming. This is a phenomenon where the earth’s average temperature increases, leading to sea levels rising at an alarming rate. This is also the main cause of floods and landslides in many places, impacting the daily lives of numerous individuals. For example, in the central provinces of Vietnam, floods during high tides and heavy rains are becoming more frequent and severe. This not only affects daily life but also damages infrastructure such as roads and houses. Another serious challenge is economic disruption, as coastal areas often have vibrant economies that directly affect the national economy. In particular, the costs of repairing infrastructure damage pose a significant financial burden for governments and businesses.

In order to improve this issue, the government needs to consider several possible solutions, such as protecting the coast from rising sea levels and reducing the amount of waste in the sea. In addition, the construction of drainage systems will help prevent flooding during the flood season. In particular, the government needs to invest in infrastructure to mitigate the loss of human life and property and also reduce the economic burden on many businesses. Furthermore, to help improve the lives of people in coastal areas, there is a need for more community support projects, such as donations of money, clothing, and food. These solutions can help mitigate sea level rise caused by global warming.

In conclusion, global warming, as sea levels are rising at alarming rates, is an urgent issue as it causes unpredictable consequences that negatively affect life and society. Therefore, protecting the coast and enhancing infrastructure is crucial.