Online teachers are becoming more popular these days. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

In this modern society, education has become more and more important in people’s lives. Many people believe that learning on computers is becoming more popular with students and teachers. In this essay, both pros and cons will be discussed in the following paragraphs.

On the one hand, there are two advantages behind this development. Firstly, when students choose to study with an online teacher, it is very convenient and comfortable. This is because students who are employees or are doing a job, can study everytime and anywhere and they do not need to write too much like in class. Secondly, students and teachers can save a lot of time for traveling and study time with online teachers is more flexible than in-class teachers. For example, students and teachers can participate in class at home or anywhere, without needing to travel to the classroom.

On the other hand, there is also a common disadvantage of online teachers. Many people think that studying with teachers online can cause students to lose focus. It is easy to understand that teachers can not control every student’s actions through the screen ( including: lying down in the bed, listening to music and playing games). For instance, learning online with teachers makes students lose focus more than in class, and even studying on technology equipment can be harmful to their eyes.

To sum up, it is clear that more students choose online teachers due to its benefits. From my point of view, online teachers in learning will be more popular in the future.

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Errors and Improvements:

"In this modern society" -> "In contemporary society"
Explanation: "In this modern society" is a common phrase but can be considered somewhat informal. "Contemporary society" is a more sophisticated alternative that fits the academic tone better.
"more and more important" -> "increasingly vital"
Explanation: "More and more important" is a bit repetitive and lacks precision. "Increasingly vital" conveys the same idea with a more formal tone.
"Many people believe" -> "It is widely believed"
Explanation: "Many people believe" is somewhat informal. "It is widely believed" introduces a more impersonal and formal tone suitable for academic writing.
"pros and cons" -> "advantages and disadvantages"
Explanation: "Pros and cons" is somewhat colloquial. "Advantages and disadvantages" is a more formal and precise alternative.
"On the one hand" -> "Firstly"
Explanation: "On the one hand" is a bit informal for academic writing. "Firstly" transitions more smoothly into the discussion of the first advantage.
"behind this development" -> "associated with this trend"
Explanation: "Behind this development" is slightly informal. "Associated with this trend" maintains formality while conveying the same meaning.
"studying with an online teacher" -> "engaging in online instruction"
Explanation: "Studying with an online teacher" is a bit repetitive and could be more succinct. "Engaging in online instruction" is a concise alternative.
"everytime" -> "whenever"
Explanation: "Everytime" is a colloquial spelling. "Whenever" is the correct and more formal spelling for this context.
"without needing to travel" -> "without the necessity of traveling"
Explanation: "Without needing to travel" is slightly informal. "Without the necessity of traveling" maintains formality while expressing the same idea.
"there is also a common disadvantage" -> "there is also a prevalent drawback"
Explanation: "Common disadvantage" could be perceived as too informal. "Prevalent drawback" is more formal and precise.
"Many people think that" -> "It is often argued that"
Explanation: "Many people think that" lacks the formality expected in academic writing. "It is often argued that" introduces a more academic tone.
"it is easy to understand" -> "it is evident"
Explanation: "It is easy to understand" is slightly informal. "It is evident" maintains formality while conveying the same idea.
"can not" -> "cannot"
Explanation: "Can not" is incorrect; "cannot" is the proper spelling in formal writing.
"every student’s actions through the screen" -> "the actions of every student via the screen"
Explanation: "Every student’s actions through the screen" could be rephrased for clarity and formality. "The actions of every student via the screen" achieves this.
"losing focus more than in class" -> "experiencing greater difficulty maintaining focus compared to in-person classes"
Explanation: "Losing focus more than in class" could be clarified and formalized for academic writing. "Experiencing greater difficulty maintaining focus compared to in-person classes" achieves this goal.
"even studying on technology equipment" -> "even using technological devices for studying"
Explanation: "Studying on technology equipment" is slightly awkward. "Using technological devices for studying" is clearer and more formal.
"To sum up" -> "In conclusion"
Explanation: "To sum up" is informal for academic writing. "In conclusion" is a more formal and appropriate transition phrase.
"From my point of view" -> "In my opinion"
Explanation: "From my point of view" is a bit informal. "In my opinion" is a more formal and commonly used phrase in academic writing.
"will be more popular" -> "is poised to become increasingly popular"
Explanation: "Will be more popular" is somewhat repetitive and lacks precision. "Is poised to become increasingly popular" is more precise and maintains formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both the advantages and disadvantages of online teachers, as requested by the prompt. It discusses the convenience and flexibility of online learning, as well as the potential drawbacks such as loss of focus and health concerns.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, ensure that each advantage and disadvantage is explored in more depth. Provide specific examples or evidence to support each point. Additionally, consider addressing the balance between advantages and disadvantages more evenly, as the essay slightly leans towards emphasizing the advantages.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that online teachers are becoming more popular and presents this perspective consistently throughout the essay.
- How to improve: While it’s important to maintain a clear stance, consider acknowledging counterarguments or alternative perspectives to demonstrate a nuanced understanding of the topic. This can strengthen the argument and make it more persuasive.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas about the convenience and flexibility of online learning and briefly supports them with examples. However, the development of these ideas could be more thorough, with deeper analysis and elaboration.
- How to improve: Extend the discussion by providing more detailed examples, explanations, and evidence to support each point. This will help to strengthen the arguments and provide a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of online teachers. However, there are moments where the discussion slightly deviates, such as when mentioning the popularity of online teachers in the future without directly linking it to the advantages outweighing the disadvantages.
- How to improve: Maintain focus on directly addressing the prompt throughout the essay. Avoid tangential points or predictions that do not directly relate to the question at hand. Ensure that each paragraph and argument contributes to the overall discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of online teachers.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a reasonable understanding of the prompt and effectively communicates the advantages and disadvantages of online teachers. To improve, focus on providing more detailed explanations, supporting evidence, and staying closely aligned with the prompt throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic level of logical organization. It presents a clear introduction that outlines the topic and introduces the main points to be discussed in the subsequent paragraphs. Each paragraph focuses on either the advantages or disadvantages of online teachers, providing supporting examples for each. However, the transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to enhance the overall coherence. Additionally, the conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points without introducing new information.
- How to improve: To improve logical organization, consider using more explicit transition phrases between paragraphs to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next. Furthermore, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and provides sufficient explanation and examples to support it.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs to separate different ideas, with one paragraph dedicated to discussing the advantages and another to the disadvantages of online teachers. However, the structure within paragraphs could be improved for clarity and coherence. Some sentences within paragraphs lack coherence, and there is room for improvement in topic sentence clarity and supporting detail organization.
- How to improve: Focus on developing a clear topic sentence for each paragraph that succinctly conveys the main idea. Ensure that supporting sentences within each paragraph relate directly to the topic sentence and provide sufficient detail and examples to support the main point. Consider using transition words within paragraphs to enhance coherence and maintain the reader’s engagement.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a limited range of cohesive devices to connect ideas within and between sentences. While some basic cohesive devices, such as "firstly," "secondly," and "to sum up," are used, there is a lack of variety and sophistication in their usage. Additionally, there are instances where the connection between ideas could be strengthened with more cohesive devices.
- How to improve: To enhance cohesion, incorporate a wider variety of cohesive devices such as conjunctions (e.g., "however," "furthermore"), transitional phrases (e.g., "in addition," "on the other hand"), and pronouns (e.g., "this," "these") to establish clearer relationships between ideas. Ensure that cohesive devices are used appropriately and effectively to guide the reader through the essay and reinforce the logical progression of ideas. Additionally, consider using parallel structure to improve clarity and coherence within sentences and paragraphs.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, incorporating phrases such as "convenient and comfortable," "save a lot of time," "lose focus," and "harmful to their eyes." However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the vocabulary further to enhance the depth of expression.
- How to improve: To enrich the lexical resource, consider incorporating synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "convenient and comfortable," explore alternatives like "convenient and user-friendly" or "comfortable and accessible." Additionally, introduce specialized vocabulary related to online education, such as "e-learning platforms," "virtual classrooms," or "distance learning technologies," to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally utilizes vocabulary appropriately to convey ideas, such as in the phrase "studying with teachers online can cause students to lose focus." However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise, such as in the phrase "students who are employees or are doing a job." This could be refined to "working professionals" for clarity and precision.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, pay attention to context and choose vocabulary that accurately reflects the intended meaning. Avoid vague or generic terms and opt for specific terminology where applicable. For example, instead of using the broad term "technology equipment," specify the devices as "computers," "tablets," or "smartphones" depending on the context.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates generally correct spelling throughout, with no glaring errors detracting from readability. However, there are minor spelling errors, such as "everytime" (should be two words: "every time").
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spell-check tools or proofreading techniques to catch and correct errors before finalizing the essay. Additionally, practice spelling commonly misspelled words to reinforce accuracy. Developing a habit of reviewing written work meticulously can help identify and rectify spelling mistakes effectively.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair variety of sentence structures, including simple and compound sentences. However, there is a lack of complex sentences or varied sentence beginnings, which could enhance the sophistication of the writing. The essay tends to rely on straightforward structures, which limits its depth and richness.
- How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and complexity, incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures such as complex sentences (e.g., using subordinate clauses), compound-complex sentences, and varied sentence beginnings (e.g., introductory phrases or clauses). This can be achieved through deliberate practice and exposure to different sentence structures in reading materials.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates fairly accurate grammar and punctuation usage. However, there are several instances of grammatical errors and punctuation mistakes throughout the essay. For example, there are errors in subject-verb agreement ("it is very convenient and comfortable"), punctuation (missing commas in compound sentences), and word choice ("more popular with students and teachers" could be revised to "more popular among students and teachers"). While these errors do not significantly impede understanding, they detract from the overall clarity and precision of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, consider proofreading the essay carefully to identify and correct errors. Additionally, practice grammar exercises targeting specific areas of weakness, such as subject-verb agreement, punctuation rules, and appropriate word choice. Seeking feedback from peers or teachers can also be beneficial in identifying and rectifying grammatical errors.

Bài sửa mẫu

In contemporary society, education holds an increasingly significant role in people’s lives. There is a growing belief that online teaching is gaining popularity among both students and educators. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

On the positive side, there are two main benefits to this shift. Firstly, opting for online instruction offers unparalleled convenience and comfort. This is particularly beneficial for working individuals or those with busy schedules, as they can engage in learning anytime and anywhere without the need for extensive note-taking as in traditional classrooms. Secondly, online teaching saves considerable time that would otherwise be spent on commuting. Additionally, the flexibility of online classes allows students and instructors to participate from the comfort of their homes or any other location, eliminating the need for physical travel to a classroom.

However, there is a notable drawback associated with online teaching. Critics argue that it can lead to a loss of focus among students. It is understandable that teachers cannot monitor every student’s behavior through a screen, potentially leading to distractions such as lying down, listening to music, or playing games during lessons. For instance, the lack of supervision in online learning environments may exacerbate distractions compared to traditional classrooms, and prolonged use of electronic devices may pose risks to eye health.

In conclusion, the benefits of online teaching are evident, attracting an increasing number of students. However, it is important to acknowledge the potential drawbacks, particularly regarding maintaining focus during online sessions. Despite these challenges, online teaching is poised to become even more prevalent in the future.