Only government action can solve the housing shortage in big cities. Agree or disagree?

Some people insist that only authorities can address the ever-expanding housing crisis in urban areas. From my perspective, not only them but also individuals can remedy this dire situation efficiently.

Admittedly, it is irrefutable that the government plays a vital role in solving the counterpart, who enacts legislation. Initially, they may provide tax incentives to embark on low-income housing projects or rezoning areas, which leads to homeless individuals possessing a roof over their head with small payment. In Vietnam, there is a new building constructed recently for people being economically elusive, who can easily afford it. Moreover, if regulatory authorities establish government-led housing programs for residents, especially the marginalized, they will have decent accommodations. This happens in Singapore, where roughly 80% of citizens are living in government-subsidized housing.

While the government could authorize the policies, I advocate that people should have an obligation to handle the housing crisis in big cities. First, companies and enterprises can cooperate together to build non-profit projects, which is to expedite housing solutions tailored to diverse needs. CrowdFunding community – led housing cooperatives can contribute to better solutions instead of government channels alone. Second, it is necessary to convert empty offices to housing units, which not only save governments’ budget but also take advantage of vacant areas without constructing more houses for city-dwellers. If both the governments and people together tackled this problem, the housing shortage would no longer disappear.

In conclusion, although authorities might deal with this statement effectively by employing taxes and implementing government-led housing programs, I think that the amalgamation between governments and residents is indispensable.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Some people insist" -> "Some individuals contend"
Explanation: "Contend" is a more formal and precise term than "insist," which is somewhat colloquial and less specific in this context, fitting better in an academic essay.
"not only them but also individuals" -> "not only authorities but also individuals"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly constructed. Using "authorities" instead of "them" clarifies the subject and maintains the formal tone.
"remedy this dire situation efficiently" -> "effectively address this pressing issue"
Explanation: "Effectively address" is more precise and formal than "remedy," which can be vague and less commonly used in formal writing. "Pressing issue" is also more specific than "dire situation."
"the counterpart, who enacts legislation" -> "the authorities, who enact legislation"
Explanation: "The counterpart" is unclear and informal; "authorities" is the correct term for government agencies in this context.
"embark on low-income housing projects" -> "initiate low-income housing projects"
Explanation: "Initiate" is more formal and precise than "embark on," which is somewhat colloquial and less specific.
"leads to homeless individuals possessing a roof over their head with small payment" -> "enables homeless individuals to secure affordable housing"
Explanation: "Secure affordable housing" is a clearer and more formal way to express the idea of providing housing at a reduced cost.
"who can easily afford it" -> "who can afford it"
Explanation: The phrase "who can easily afford it" is redundant; "who can afford it" is sufficient and maintains the formal tone.
"government-led housing programs for residents, especially the marginalized" -> "government-led housing initiatives targeting marginalized residents"
Explanation: "Initiatives targeting" is more specific and formal than "programs for," and "marginalized" is a more precise term than "the marginalized."
"I advocate that people should have an obligation" -> "I advocate that individuals should have a responsibility"
Explanation: "Responsibility" is more specific and formal than "obligation" in this context, and "individuals" is preferred over "people" for a more formal tone.
"companies and enterprises can cooperate together" -> "companies and enterprises can collaborate"
Explanation: "Collaborate" is a more formal and precise term than "cooperate together," which is redundant.
"non-profit projects" -> "non-profit initiatives"
Explanation: "Initiatives" is more commonly used in formal and academic contexts than "projects" when referring to endeavors or programs.
"CrowdFunding community-led housing cooperatives" -> "Crowdfunding community-led housing cooperatives"
Explanation: "Crowdfunding" is the correct spelling of the term, which is a specific type of online fundraising.
"take advantage of vacant areas" -> "utilize vacant areas"
Explanation: "Utilize" is more formal and precise than "take advantage of," which can imply opportunistic behavior.
"the housing shortage would no longer disappear" -> "the housing shortage would be alleviated"
Explanation: "Be alleviated" is a more precise and formal way to describe the reduction of a problem, compared to "no longer disappear," which is vague and informal.
"the amalgamation between governments and residents" -> "the collaboration between governments and residents"
Explanation: "Collaboration" is a more precise and formal term than "amalgamation," which can imply a merging of entities, which is not the intended meaning here.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the role of the government and the contributions of individuals in solving the housing shortage. The introduction clearly states the writer’s position that both parties are necessary, which aligns with the prompt’s requirement to agree or disagree. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of the statement that "only government action can solve the housing shortage," as it somewhat sidesteps the direct challenge posed by the prompt.
- How to improve: To enhance the response to all parts of the question, the writer should explicitly state their disagreement with the notion that only government action is sufficient. This can be done in the introduction and reiterated in the conclusion to reinforce the position taken.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that both government and individual actions are necessary to address the housing crisis. However, the transition between discussing government actions and individual contributions could be smoother to maintain clarity. For instance, the phrase "While the government could authorize the policies, I advocate that people should have an obligation…" could be rephrased to more clearly delineate the shift in focus.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should use more explicit transitional phrases that signal shifts in argument. Additionally, reiterating the main stance in each paragraph can help reinforce the position throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as government tax incentives and community-led housing projects, which are relevant to the topic. However, some ideas could be further developed. For example, the mention of converting empty offices into housing units is a strong point but lacks specific examples or data to substantiate its effectiveness.
- How to improve: To effectively present, extend, and support ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples, statistics, or case studies that illustrate the points made. This could involve elaborating on the success of similar initiatives in other cities or countries to lend credibility to the arguments.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing relevant aspects of the housing crisis and the roles of both government and individuals. However, there are moments where the connection to the main argument could be clearer, such as in the discussion of the "amalgamation between governments and residents," which could be more explicitly tied back to the prompt.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance to the topic, the writer should ensure that each paragraph explicitly connects back to the central argument. This can be achieved by summarizing how each point contributes to the overall argument in the concluding sentences of each paragraph.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view, but with some refinements in clarity, development, and focus, it could achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument regarding the roles of both the government and individuals in addressing the housing crisis. The introduction effectively outlines the writer’s stance, and the body paragraphs are organized to first discuss the government’s role and then the contributions of individuals. However, the transition between the two main ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing government actions to individual responsibilities feels abrupt, which may confuse the reader about the relationship between the two perspectives.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases or sentences that explicitly connect the ideas between paragraphs. For example, after discussing government actions, a sentence like "However, government initiatives alone are insufficient, and individuals must also play a crucial role" would create a clearer link between the two sections.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The first body paragraph discusses the government’s role, while the second addresses individual contributions. However, the conclusion could be more distinct and should summarize the main points more clearly. Currently, it reiterates the main argument without synthesizing the information presented in the body.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. In the conclusion, aim to summarize the key points made in the body paragraphs succinctly, reinforcing how both the government and individuals can work together to solve the housing crisis.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Admittedly," "Moreover," and "In conclusion," which help to guide the reader through the argument. However, the use of cohesive devices could be more varied. For instance, the phrase "which leads to" is used repetitively, and there are opportunities to incorporate more diverse connectors to enhance the flow of ideas.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "which," try alternatives like "resulting in," "therefore," or "as a result." Additionally, incorporating phrases that indicate contrast or addition, such as "on the other hand" or "furthermore," can help clarify relationships between ideas and improve overall cohesion.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially improving the band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, with phrases such as "housing crisis," "tax incentives," and "non-profit projects" effectively conveying complex ideas. The use of terms like "marginalized" and "economically elusive" shows an attempt to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary. However, some expressions could be more varied; for instance, the repeated use of "government" and "housing" could be substituted with synonyms or paraphrased to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve vocabulary range, consider using synonyms or related terms. For example, instead of repeating "government," you might use "authorities," "administration," or "state." Additionally, exploring more varied expressions for "housing" could enrich the essay, such as "residential accommodations" or "living spaces."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "who enacts legislation" is somewhat unclear and could be better articulated as "which enacts legislation." Additionally, the term "economically elusive" is not commonly used and may confuse readers; it seems intended to describe those who are economically disadvantaged but lacks clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, ensure that each term clearly conveys the intended meaning. For example, replace "economically elusive" with "economically disadvantaged" or "low-income individuals." Furthermore, consider rephrasing unclear expressions for better clarity, such as changing "who enacts legislation" to "that enacts legislation."
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no significant errors noted. Words such as "authorities," "legislation," and "accommodations" are spelled correctly, reflecting a strong command of spelling conventions.
- How to improve: While spelling is generally accurate, it is beneficial to maintain this standard by proofreading for any overlooked typographical errors. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises or using spelling apps can further reinforce accuracy.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resource, achieving a band score of 7. By focusing on expanding vocabulary range, improving precision in word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can enhance their lexical resource further, potentially achieving a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "not only them but also individuals can remedy this dire situation efficiently," which effectively conveys a nuanced argument. Additionally, the writer employs conditional structures, as seen in "if regulatory authorities establish government-led housing programs for residents, especially the marginalized, they will have decent accommodations." However, there are instances of less varied structures, such as the repetitive use of "which" to introduce relative clauses, as in "which leads to homeless individuals possessing a roof over their head with small payment."
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more compound-complex sentences and reduce reliance on relative clauses. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "which," the writer could use participial phrases or introductory adverbial clauses. Additionally, varying sentence openings and lengths can create a more engaging flow.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a strong command of grammar and punctuation, with only minor errors. For instance, the phrase "who enacts legislation" is somewhat awkward and could be clearer if rephrased. The use of punctuation is mostly accurate; however, there are a few areas where commas could enhance clarity, such as before "especially the marginalized" to separate the clause more effectively. The phrase "who can easily afford it" lacks clarity, as it is not immediately clear who "it" refers to, leading to potential confusion.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on clarity and precision in their phrasing. Reviewing sentence constructions for potential ambiguities will help. For punctuation, the writer should practice using commas to separate clauses and enhance readability. Additionally, proofreading for awkward phrases and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer to their antecedents will strengthen the overall clarity of the essay.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and presents a balanced argument. By continuing to diversify sentence structures and refining grammatical accuracy, the writer can aim for an even higher band score in future essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some people insist that only authorities can address the ever-expanding housing crisis in urban areas. From my perspective, not only the authorities but also individuals can remedy this dire situation efficiently.

Admittedly, it is irrefutable that the government plays a vital role in solving this issue, as they enact legislation. Initially, they may provide tax incentives to embark on low-income housing projects or rezone areas, which enables homeless individuals to secure affordable housing with a small payment. In Vietnam, a new building was recently constructed for people who are economically disadvantaged, allowing them to afford it easily. Moreover, if regulatory authorities establish government-led housing programs for residents, especially the marginalized, they will have decent accommodations. This is evident in Singapore, where roughly 80% of citizens live in government-subsidized housing.

While the government could authorize these policies, I advocate that individuals should have a responsibility to handle the housing crisis in big cities. First, companies and enterprises can collaborate to build non-profit projects, which expedite housing solutions tailored to diverse needs. Crowdfunding community-led housing cooperatives can contribute to better solutions instead of relying solely on government channels. Second, it is necessary to convert empty offices into housing units, which not only saves the government’s budget but also utilizes vacant areas without constructing more houses for city-dwellers. If both the government and the people tackle this problem together, the housing shortage would be alleviated.

In conclusion, although authorities might effectively address this issue by employing taxes and implementing government-led housing programs, I believe that the collaboration between governments and residents is indispensable.