Organizing a large family celebrations, such as a wedding can often create problems. What can be the problems associated with organizing a large family event and what solutions can you suggest?
Organizing a large family celebrations, such as a wedding can often create problems. What can be the problems associated with organizing a large family event and what solutions can you suggest?
A large family event is a place where all people have happiness. However, planning a large family event, such as a wedding, can be a stressful experience. In this essay, I will describe several problems as well as suggest ways in which these may be solved or avoided.
There may be problems during the process in important parties in a big family such as a wedding, making the party less fun. For example, at weddings of large families, many people are often invited, such as relatives, friends of the parents, and the bride and groom, so there may inevitably be a lack of seats and tables for guests, which can make guests feel uncomfortable. Besides, time management is a critical challenge when organizing large family celebrations. The complexity and scale of such events require meticulous planning and coordination, and failing to manage time effectively can lead to significant stress and disorganization. For instance, many large families organize long wedding ceremonies, or have too many items in the wedding ceremony, causing the organization time to be prolonged. Exceeding the scheduled time can increase the bride's stress, disrupt the event schedule, and make guests uncomfortable due to long waits.
The solution to these problems is careful planning. Firstly, we need to choose guests for your wedding, we do not need to invite a large crowd. We can choose to invite only close friends and relatives. If you want to invite everyone, consider spacing them out at different times to ensure that guests can attend comfortably without worrying about overcrowding. Secondly, we should choose a program with suitable time, shorten unnecessary ceremonies in the wedding ceremony. Prioritize important ceremonies instead of doing too many ceremonies to avoid wasting time. These s help wedding guests feel more comfortable and happy.
In conclusion, although having family events could cause some problems. However, if we arrange everything carefully, everything will turn out fine.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"A large family event is a place where all people have happiness." -> "A large family event is an occasion where all individuals experience happiness."
Explanation: Replacing "place" with "occasion" and "all people" with "all individuals" refines the language to be more precise and formal. "Experience" is also more academically appropriate than "have" in this context. -
"planning a large family event, such as a wedding, can be a stressful experience." -> "organizing a large family event, such as a wedding, can be a stressful endeavor."
Explanation: "Organizing" is more specific to the context of planning an event, and "endeavor" is a more formal synonym for "experience" that enhances the academic tone. -
"There may be problems during the process in important parties in a big family such as a wedding," -> "There may be challenges during the planning of significant events within a large family, such as a wedding."
Explanation: "Challenges" is a more precise term than "problems," and "planning of significant events" is clearer and more formal than "problems during the process in important parties." -
"making the party less fun" -> "rendering the event less enjoyable"
Explanation: "Rendering the event less enjoyable" is a more formal and precise way to describe the impact on the enjoyment of the event. -
"many people are often invited" -> "numerous individuals are frequently invited"
Explanation: "Numerous individuals" is more formal than "many people," and "frequently" is more precise than "often." -
"there may inevitably be a lack of seats and tables for guests" -> "inevitably, there may be a shortage of seating and tables for guests"
Explanation: "Inevitably" is more formal and "shortage" is a more precise term than "lack" in this context. -
"The complexity and scale of such events require meticulous planning and coordination" -> "The complexity and scope of such events necessitate meticulous planning and coordination"
Explanation: "Scope" is a more precise term than "scale" in this context, and "necessitate" is more formal than "require." -
"failing to manage time effectively can lead to significant stress and disorganization" -> "ineffective time management can result in significant stress and disorganization"
Explanation: "Ineffective time management" is a more precise and formal way to describe the issue, and "result in" is more academically appropriate than "can lead to." -
"many large families organize long wedding ceremonies" -> "many large families conduct lengthy wedding ceremonies"
Explanation: "Conduct" is a more formal verb than "organize" in this context, and "lengthy" is a more precise adjective than "long." -
"causing the organization time to be prolonged" -> "resulting in prolonged organizational timelines"
Explanation: "Resulting in prolonged organizational timelines" is more formal and precise, improving the academic tone. -
"we need to choose guests for your wedding" -> "it is necessary to select guests for your wedding"
Explanation: "It is necessary to select" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing than "we need to choose." -
"we should choose a program with suitable time" -> "it is advisable to select a program with suitable timing"
Explanation: "It is advisable to select" is more formal and precise than "we should choose," and "timing" is more specific than "time." -
"shorten unnecessary ceremonies in the wedding ceremony" -> "abbreviate unnecessary elements within the wedding ceremony"
Explanation: "Abbreviate" is more precise and formal than "shorten," and "elements" is a more specific term than "ceremonies." -
"avoid wasting time" -> "avoid unnecessary delays"
Explanation: "Avoid unnecessary delays" is more specific and formal than "avoid wasting time," which is somewhat vague and informal. -
"everything will turn out fine" -> "everything will proceed smoothly"
Explanation: "Proceed smoothly" is a more formal and precise expression than "turn out fine," which is colloquial and less formal.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively identifies problems associated with organizing large family celebrations, particularly weddings, such as seating issues and time management challenges. It addresses both parts of the prompt by outlining these problems and suggesting solutions like careful guest selection and efficient scheduling. However, the essay could benefit from a broader range of problems and solutions. For instance, it could mention financial constraints or emotional conflicts among family members, which are common in large gatherings.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the writer should brainstorm a wider variety of potential problems and corresponding solutions. Including more examples would provide a richer analysis and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the complexities involved in organizing large family events.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position regarding the challenges of organizing large family events and the importance of planning. The introduction sets the tone, and the conclusion reiterates the main idea. However, the transition between problems and solutions could be smoother, as the connection between the identified issues and the proposed solutions is sometimes implicit rather than explicit.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity and consistency, the writer should use transitional phrases that explicitly link problems to their solutions. For example, after discussing a problem, a clear phrase like "To address this issue…" could help guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to the problems and solutions of organizing a large family event. However, the support for these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while the essay mentions time management as a critical challenge, it does not delve into specific strategies for effective time management beyond suggesting a suitable program. The examples provided are relevant but could be expanded to illustrate the points more vividly.
- How to improve: The writer should aim to extend ideas by providing more detailed examples and explanations. For instance, when discussing time management, the essay could include specific timelines or checklists that could help in organizing the event. This would not only strengthen the argument but also provide practical advice for the reader.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the problems and solutions related to organizing large family celebrations. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly focused. For example, the phrase "A large family event is a place where all people have happiness" is somewhat vague and does not contribute directly to the main argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should avoid general statements that do not add value to the essay’s main points. Instead, starting with a more direct statement about the challenges of organizing such events would set a clearer context for the discussion that follows. Additionally, ensuring that each sentence contributes directly to the argument will help keep the essay on track.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents relevant ideas, but it would benefit from deeper exploration of the topics discussed, clearer transitions, and a more focused approach to the introduction and conclusion.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, starting with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s intention. The body paragraphs address specific problems associated with organizing large family events, followed by suggested solutions. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition between discussing problems and solutions is somewhat abrupt. The first body paragraph lists problems, but the second body paragraph jumps directly into solutions without a clear transition or summary of the problems discussed.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases such as "In response to these challenges" or "To address these issues" at the beginning of the solutions paragraph. Additionally, summarizing the problems briefly before presenting solutions can help reinforce the connection between the two sections.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate ideas, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for problems and solutions, and a conclusion. However, the second body paragraph could be further divided into two distinct paragraphs: one for solutions related to guest management and another for solutions regarding time management. This would allow for a more focused discussion on each solution and improve readability.
- How to improve: Implementing a more structured approach to paragraphing can enhance clarity. Each paragraph should ideally focus on a single main idea. For example, after discussing the problems in one paragraph, create separate paragraphs for each solution to allow for a more detailed exploration of each point.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "however," "besides," and "for example," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be strengthened. For example, the phrase "these s help wedding guests feel more comfortable and happy" is vague and lacks a clear reference to what "these s" refers to, creating confusion.
- How to improve: To diversify and improve the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "in addition," and "consequently." Additionally, ensure that all pronouns and references are clear and specific to avoid ambiguity. For instance, instead of "these s," clarify by saying "These solutions help ensure that wedding guests feel more comfortable and happy."
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, focusing on logical transitions, refining paragraph structure, and enhancing the variety and clarity of cohesive devices will help elevate the score further.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, but it often relies on common phrases and lacks variation. For instance, terms like "large family event," "wedding," and "guests" are repeated without synonyms or alternative expressions. While the essay does introduce some relevant vocabulary, such as "meticulous planning" and "overcrowding," the overall lexical variety is limited.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "large family event," alternatives like "family gathering," "celebration," or "ceremony" could be employed. Additionally, using more descriptive adjectives (e.g., "intimate" instead of "large") can enrich the vocabulary.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "the process in important parties" is unclear and could confuse readers. Additionally, the term "items in the wedding ceremony" is vague; specifying what these items are would enhance clarity. The phrase "these s help wedding guests feel more comfortable" also contains a typographical error ("s" should be omitted) and lacks clarity.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clarity and specificity. Instead of saying "important parties," it would be clearer to say "important aspects of planning." Furthermore, providing specific examples of what constitutes "items in the wedding ceremony" (e.g., "decorations," "programs") would enhance understanding. Proofreading for typographical errors is also essential.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates good spelling, but there are a few errors that detract from the overall quality. For instance, the phrase "these s help" contains a typographical error, and "wedding ceremony" is used correctly throughout. However, the overall spelling is mostly accurate, which is a positive aspect.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should take time to proofread the essay carefully. Utilizing spell-check tools or reading the essay aloud can help identify typographical errors. Additionally, practicing spelling of commonly used words in academic writing can further improve accuracy.
In summary, while the essay achieves a Band Score of 6 for Lexical Resource, there are clear areas for improvement. By expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision in word choice, and ensuring correct spelling, the writer can elevate their lexical resource and overall essay quality.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the writer uses complex sentences effectively, such as "The complexity and scale of such events require meticulous planning and coordination, and failing to manage time effectively can lead to significant stress and disorganization." However, there are instances of repetitive structure, particularly in the way solutions are presented, which could be more varied.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex and compound-complex sentences throughout the essay. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "we should" or "we need to," the writer could use introductory clauses or phrases, such as "To address these challenges, it is essential to…" or "One effective strategy could be to…". This would not only diversify the sentence structures but also improve the flow of ideas.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay shows a generally good command of grammar, but there are several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from clarity. For instance, the phrase "in important parties in a big family" is awkward and unclear; it would be more effective to say "during important family gatherings." Additionally, the sentence "These s help wedding guests feel more comfortable and happy" contains a typographical error ("s" should be removed). Punctuation is mostly correct, but there are instances where commas could improve readability, such as before "such as" in lists.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should carefully proofread their work to catch typographical errors and awkward phrasing. Additionally, practicing the use of commas in complex sentences can enhance clarity. For example, the writer could revise "If you want to invite everyone, consider spacing them out at different times to ensure that guests can attend comfortably without worrying about overcrowding" to include a comma before "without worrying" for better flow. Engaging in grammar exercises focused on common errors and seeking feedback from peers or instructors can also be beneficial.
Overall, the essay is well-structured and presents clear ideas, but focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical accuracy will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.
Bài sửa mẫu
A large family event is an occasion where all individuals experience happiness. However, planning a large family event, such as a wedding, can be a stressful experience. In this essay, I will describe several problems as well as suggest ways in which these may be solved or avoided.
There may be challenges during the planning of significant events within a large family, such as a wedding, rendering the event less enjoyable. For example, at weddings of large families, numerous individuals are frequently invited, such as relatives, friends of the parents, and the bride and groom. This can inevitably lead to a shortage of seating and tables for guests, which can make them feel uncomfortable. Besides, ineffective time management is a critical challenge when organizing large family celebrations. The complexity and scope of such events necessitate meticulous planning and coordination, and failing to manage time effectively can result in significant stress and disorganization. For instance, many large families conduct lengthy wedding ceremonies or have too many elements in the wedding ceremony, resulting in prolonged organizational timelines. Exceeding the scheduled time can increase the bride’s stress, disrupt the event schedule, and make guests uncomfortable due to long waits.
The solution to these problems is careful planning. Firstly, it is necessary to select guests for your wedding; you do not need to invite a large crowd. You can choose to invite only close friends and relatives. If you want to invite everyone, consider spacing them out at different times to ensure that guests can attend comfortably without worrying about overcrowding. Secondly, it is advisable to select a program with suitable timing and abbreviate unnecessary elements within the wedding ceremony. Prioritize important ceremonies instead of doing too many to avoid wasting time. These solutions help wedding guests feel more comfortable and happy.
In conclusion, although having family events could cause some problems, if we arrange everything carefully, everything will proceed smoothly.