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People are having more and more sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons? What are the solutions to make people drink less.

People are having more and more sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons? What are the solutions to make people drink less.

In contemporary society, there is a noticeable trend of increased consumption of sugary drinks, which has raised concerns about their negative impact on human health. This essay aims to explore the reasons behind this trend and suggest practical solutions to decrease the intake of these beverages.

One significant factor contributing to the popularity of sugar-sweetened drinks is the human preference for sweetness. Throughout history, taste preferences have been categorized into four primary categories: spicy, salty, bitter, and sweet. Notably, among these tastes, sweetness has consistently proven to be the most appealing, regardless of age. As a result, individuals tend to gravitate towards sweet flavors when making food and beverage choices. This inclination often leads people to opt for drinks that contain added sugar, especially when selecting their beverages.

Another factor influencing the rise in sugary drink consumption is the substantial increase in advertising efforts by beverage companies. These corporations have invested significant resources in marketing campaigns to promote their sugar-laden products globally, often downplaying or ignoring the potential adverse health effects. Consequently, many individuals are misled into believing that these drinks are beneficial to their health rather than recognizing their potential to cause health problems.

To address this concerning issue, several practical measures should be put in place. Firstly, it is crucial that advertisements for sugary drinks are honest and transparent about the risks associated with excessive consumption. Advertisements should provide a comprehensive overview of both the advantages and disadvantages of these beverages. This transparency will enable consumers to make well-informed decisions regarding their beverage choices, aligning their consumption with recommended guidelines.

Additionally, governments can play a significant role in discouraging the consumption of sugary drinks by advocating for healthier lifestyles. Encouraging regular exercise and promoting the consumption of natural fruit juices over sugary bottled varieties can help prevent serious health conditions such as obesity and high cholesterol.

In conclusion, the widespread preference for sugar-added beverages can be attributed to various factors, and it is crucial to implement the aforementioned strategies to alter this unfavorable trend. By promoting transparency in advertising and advocating for healthier lifestyles, we can effectively reduce the consumption of sugary drinks and mitigate the associated health risks.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "In contemporary society" -> "In today’s contemporary society"
    Explanation: Adding "today’s" before "contemporary society" enhances the formality of the phrase while maintaining a natural flow.

  2. "raised concerns about their negative impact" -> "aroused concerns regarding their detrimental effects"
    Explanation: The suggested phrase uses a more formal and precise language to describe the concerns about the impact of sugary drinks.

  3. "This essay aims to explore" -> "This essay endeavors to examine"
    Explanation: "Endeavors to examine" is a more formal and academically appropriate phrase compared to "aims to explore."

  4. "significant factor contributing to the popularity" -> "significant factor contributing to the prevalence"
    Explanation: "Prevalence" is a more precise and formal term for describing the widespread adoption of sugary drinks.

  5. "Notably, among these tastes" -> "Notably, among these taste preferences"
    Explanation: Adding "preferences" clarifies the context and maintains the formal tone.

  6. "often downplaying or ignoring" -> "frequently downplaying or disregarding"
    Explanation: "Frequently" is a more formal alternative to "often," and "disregarding" is a formal synonym for "ignoring."

  7. "well-informed decisions" -> "informed choices"
    Explanation: "Informed choices" is a concise and academically appropriate phrase.

  8. "advocating for healthier lifestyles" -> "advocating healthier lifestyles"
    Explanation: Removing "for" improves the sentence structure and maintains formality.

  9. "such as obesity and high cholesterol" -> "such as obesity and elevated cholesterol levels"
    Explanation: "Elevated cholesterol levels" is a more precise and formal way to describe the health concern.

  10. "By promoting transparency in advertising" -> "By advocating for transparency in advertising"
    Explanation: Using "advocating for" instead of "promoting" maintains formality and aligns with the context of advocating for healthier choices.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

  1. Quoted text: "In contemporary society, there is a noticeable trend of increased consumption of sugary drinks, which has raised concerns about their negative impact on human health."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction sets the context well and introduces the topic of sugary drink consumption. However, it lacks a clear statement of the writer’s position on the topic. It’s important in IELTS essays to explicitly state whether you agree or disagree with the statement or to what extent. For instance, you could say, "In contemporary society, there is a noticeable trend of increased consumption of sugary drinks, and I firmly believe that this trend should be addressed to improve public health."
    • Improved example: "In contemporary society, there is a noticeable trend of increased consumption of sugary drinks, and I firmly believe that this trend should be addressed to improve public health."
  2. Quoted text: "Another factor influencing the rise in sugary drink consumption is the substantial increase in advertising efforts by beverage companies."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: This paragraph effectively addresses a reason behind the increased consumption of sugary drinks. However, it lacks specific examples or real-life instances to support the argument. You could enhance this by providing a brief anecdote or a well-known case of a beverage company’s advertising campaign that had a significant impact on consumption.
    • Improved example: "Another compelling factor influencing the rise in sugary drink consumption is the substantial increase in advertising efforts by beverage companies. For instance, the marketing campaign for ‘Brand X Cola’ reached millions of viewers, portraying the drink as a symbol of happiness and fun. This kind of persuasive advertising can strongly influence consumer choices."
  3. Quoted text: "To address this concerning issue, several practical measures should be put in place."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While this statement introduces the solutions, it lacks specificity. It’s essential to briefly outline the specific solutions you will discuss in the essay within the introduction. This helps the reader anticipate the structure of your essay. For example, you could mention that you will discuss advertising transparency and government intervention.
    • Improved example: "To address this concerning issue, several practical measures should be put in place, including increased advertising transparency and active government intervention."

Overall, the essay addresses the task reasonably well, but it can benefit from more clarity in the writer’s position and the introduction of specific examples to support arguments. Additionally, a more detailed outline of the solutions in the introduction could enhance the essay’s structure.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: This essay deserves a band score of 7.0 for Coherence and Cohesion based on the provided band descriptor. The essay logically organizes information and ideas, presenting a clear progression throughout. It effectively uses a range of cohesive devices, like transitional phrases and linking words, appropriately, although there is a slight underuse of these devices. Each paragraph presents a clear central topic, enhancing the overall organization of the essay.

How to improve: To further improve coherence and cohesion, the essay could benefit from slightly more frequent and varied use of cohesive devices. Additionally, while paragraphing is generally sufficient, ensuring even more logical flow between paragraphs can enhance the overall structure. Overall, a very well-structured essay with just minor opportunities for refinement.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, utilizing a variety of words and expressions relevant to the topic. It effectively conveys ideas and arguments with clarity. The writer employs less common lexical items and demonstrates some awareness of style and collocation, contributing to a reasonably sophisticated lexical resource. The essay mostly avoids noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation, enhancing overall comprehension.

How to improve:
To improve and potentially reach a higher band score, the writer could aim for even greater variety and precision in word choice. While the essay uses less common vocabulary effectively, a few more sophisticated lexical features could be introduced. Additionally, ensuring complete accuracy in word choice, spelling, and word formation would further enhance the overall lexical resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good level of grammatical range and accuracy, earning a Band 7. The writer employs a variety of complex sentence structures, effectively using a mix of simple and complex sentence forms throughout the essay. There are frequent error-free sentences that showcase a good command of grammar and punctuation. Although there are a few minor errors and inappropriacies, they do not significantly hinder communication. The essay effectively conveys its message with clarity.

How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy further and aim for a higher band score, the writer should pay more attention to eliminating the occasional errors and inappropriacies in the essay. Proofreading and revising the text for these minor issues can enhance the overall quality of the writing. Additionally, using a slightly wider range of vocabulary and more varied sentence structures can help in achieving an even higher score, approaching Band 8.0.

Bài sửa mẫu

In contemporary society, there is a noticeable trend of increased consumption of sugary drinks, which has raised concerns about their negative impact on human health. This essay aims to explore the reasons behind this trend and suggest practical solutions to decrease the intake of these beverages.

One significant factor contributing to the popularity of sugar-sweetened drinks is the human preference for sweetness. Throughout history, taste preferences have been categorized into four primary categories: spicy, salty, bitter, and sweet. Notably, among these tastes, sweetness has consistently proven to be the most appealing, regardless of age. As a result, individuals tend to gravitate towards sweet flavors when making food and beverage choices. This inclination often leads people to opt for drinks that contain added sugar, especially when selecting their beverages.

Another factor influencing the rise in sugary drink consumption is the substantial increase in advertising efforts by beverage companies. These corporations have invested significant resources in marketing campaigns to promote their sugar-laden products globally, often downplaying or ignoring the potential adverse health effects. Consequently, many individuals are misled into believing that these drinks are beneficial to their health rather than recognizing their potential to cause health problems.

To address this concerning issue, several practical measures should be put in place. Firstly, it is crucial that advertisements for sugary drinks are honest and transparent about the risks associated with excessive consumption. Advertisements should provide a comprehensive overview of both the advantages and disadvantages of these beverages. This transparency will enable consumers to make well-informed decisions regarding their beverage choices, aligning their consumption with recommended guidelines.

Additionally, governments can play a significant role in discouraging the consumption of sugary drinks by advocating for healthier lifestyles. Encouraging regular exercise and promoting the consumption of natural fruit juices over sugary bottled varieties can help prevent serious health conditions such as obesity and high cholesterol.

In conclusion, the widespread preference for sugar-added beverages can be attributed to various factors, and it is crucial to implement the aforementioned strategies to alter this unfavorable trend. By promoting transparency in advertising and advocating for healthier lifestyles, we can effectively reduce the consumption of sugary drinks and mitigate the associated health risks.

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