People are living in a ‘throwaway society’, using things for a short time and then throwing them away. What are the causes of this? What problems does it lead to?
It is true that we are accustomed to purchasing goods, but only using them for a brief period before discarding them away. This essay is to investigate various factors and significant consequences for this phenomenon.
One of the main reasons for this prevalence of this throwaway society is related to consumer preference. They often go for limited lifespan and low-quality products because they prioritize convenience and low cost. For example, some people are drawn to buy clothes from some online platforms such as Tiki or Shopee where they can take advantage of opportunities like black Friday or Big sales events, allowing them to spend as little as 10000 VND. Consequently, some companies capitalize this trend by mass-producing numerous items for the market. Another point here to consider is that consumers in shopping have undergone considerably changes. Instead of buying items to fulfill their needs, people today have dramatic demands for consumption driven by entertainment, beauty and emotional satisfaction. For instance, some young people buy clothes not solely for daily wear, they use these goods for specific occasions and get rid of them afterward.
The phenomenon can have adverse effects on our environment. To begin with, the more we purchase items, the more garbage we contribute to it. Especially non-renewable and non-biodegradable waste can pose a significant threat to the air and contaminate water if we do not employ suitable methods. Some countries with limited advanced technology, for example, the common practice is to bury and burn trash, which can have severe impacts to the environment. Furthermore, the trend can result in overusing available natural resources. For instance, when the demand for wooden furniture is high, more trees are cut down to satisfy our needs. However, if we are not conscious of our actions, we will bring more risks to the environment in the foreseeable future.
In conclusion, the prevalence of throwaway society has a profound impact on our environment and contributes to the depletion of natural resources, such as wood. These two major problems stem from this societal trend and require our attention and consideration for sustainable solutions.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
- “discarding them away” -> “disposing of them”
Explanation: “Discarding them away” is redundant. “Disposing of them” is a more formal and concise phrase that better conveys the idea of getting rid of products after use.
- “This essay is to investigate” -> “This essay aims to investigate”
Explanation: Using “aims to investigate” maintains a formal tone and clarity, expressing the purpose of the essay more directly.
- “prevalence of this throwaway society” -> “prevalence of the throwaway culture”
Explanation: “Throwaway society” is a known term, but “throwaway culture” is more precise and commonly used in academic discussions about the disposable nature of goods.
- “limited lifespan” -> “short lifespan”
Explanation: “Short lifespan” is a more straightforward and commonly used term, conveying the same meaning without altering the context.
- “low-quality products” -> “inferior products”
Explanation: “Inferior products” is a more formal term that better fits the academic style while conveying the idea of products of lower quality.
- “capitalize this trend” -> “exploit this trend”
Explanation: “Exploit this trend” is a more formal and precise phrase, indicating companies taking advantage of the trend for their benefit.
- “have undergone considerably changes” -> “have undergone significant changes”
Explanation: “Considerably” is less precise in this context. “Significant changes” better emphasizes the magnitude of the transformation in consumer behavior.
- “consumption driven by entertainment” -> “consumption driven by entertainment purposes”
Explanation: Adding “purposes” clarifies the reason behind the consumption, making the sentence more precise and formal.
- “some young people buy clothes not solely for daily wear” -> “some young people purchase clothes not exclusively for daily wear”
Explanation: “Purchase” is a more formal term, and “not exclusively for daily wear” maintains clarity while sounding more academic.
- “the more garbage we contribute to it” -> “the more waste we generate”
Explanation: “Garbage” is slightly informal. “Waste” is a more formal and comprehensive term in discussions about discarded items.
- “limited advanced technology” -> “limited technological advancement”
Explanation: “Limited technological advancement” is a more appropriate and concise way to express the idea.
- “common practice is to bury and burn trash” -> “common practice involves burying and burning trash”
Explanation: Using “involves burying and burning trash” creates a clearer and more formal sentence structure.
- “we will bring more risks to the environment” -> “we will pose greater risks to the environment”
Explanation: “Pose greater risks to the environment” is a more formal and precise way to convey the idea of increased environmental threats.
- “for instance” (repeated usage) -> “for example”
Explanation: Using “for example” maintains variety in transitional phrases, enhancing the overall flow and formal tone of the essay.
- “stem from this societal trend” -> “arise from this societal trend”
Explanation: “Arise from” is a more formal and precise alternative to “stem from,” maintaining academic tone and clarity in the statement.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
- Quoted text: “It is true that we are accustomed to purchasing goods, but only using them for a brief period before discarding them away. This essay is to investigate various factors and significant consequences for this phenomenon.”
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The introduction sets the stage for discussing the throwaway society, but it lacks a clear thesis statement that explicitly states the writer’s position on the causes and problems of this phenomenon. It would be beneficial to rephrase the introduction to include a concise thesis statement outlining the main points that will be addressed in the essay.
- Improved example: “In today’s consumer-driven society, the tendency to buy and quickly discard goods is a prevalent phenomenon. This essay will explore the reasons behind this behavior and its consequential problems, shedding light on the impact of consumer preferences on the environment.”
- Quoted text: “They often go for limited lifespan and low-quality products because they prioritize convenience and low cost. For example, some people are drawn to buy clothes from some online platforms such as Tiki or Shopee where they can take advantage of opportunities like black Friday or Big sales events, allowing them to spend as little as 10000 VND.”
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While the paragraph discusses consumer preferences, it lacks depth in exploring other causes of the throwaway society, such as advertising or societal trends. It’s advisable to broaden the scope of the discussion to provide a more comprehensive analysis of the causes. Additionally, the example provided could be strengthened by including personal experiences or observations to make it more relatable and convincing.
- Improved example: “Consumer preferences play a pivotal role in the throwaway culture, driven by a desire for convenience and affordability. For instance, individuals often opt for low-quality products during online sales events like Black Friday on platforms such as Tiki or Shopee, where the allure of spending as little as 10000 VND becomes irresistible. This inclination, coupled with aggressive advertising, further perpetuates the trend.”
- Quoted text: “Instead of buying items to fulfill their needs, people today have dramatic demands for consumption driven by entertainment, beauty and emotional satisfaction. For instance, some young people buy clothes not solely for daily wear, they use these goods for specific occasions and get rid of them afterward.”
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: This paragraph addresses the shift in consumer behavior but lacks a clear connection to the problems resulting from this change. To strengthen the response, it would be beneficial to explicitly link the causes discussed to the consequences in terms of environmental impact and resource depletion. Moreover, providing specific examples from personal experiences or observations could enhance the persuasive power of the argument.
- Improved example: “The evolution in consumer behavior is evident as people now seek emotional satisfaction and entertainment through their purchases, rather than fulfilling basic needs. For instance, many young individuals buy clothes not just for daily wear but for specific occasions, contributing to the throwaway culture. This shift has significant consequences, as these impulsive purchases lead to environmental degradation and the depletion of precious resources.”
Overall, the essay addresses the task but needs further development in providing a more explicit thesis statement and deeper exploration of causes and their consequences. Additionally, incorporating more personalized examples and experiences would strengthen the overall argument.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.5
The essay exhibits some coherence and cohesion throughout. There’s an attempt to logically organize ideas, especially within paragraphs. The introduction and conclusion provide a basic structure, but the essay lacks consistent progression. Cohesive devices are utilized, yet there are moments where their use appears mechanical or faulty, impacting the overall flow. Paragraphing is employed, although not consistently logical.
How to improve:
To enhance coherence and cohesion, focus on improving the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure that cohesive devices are used more naturally, avoiding mechanical placement. Work on a clearer progression of ideas throughout the essay, making sure each paragraph contributes cohesively to the overall argument. Consistency in logical paragraph organization will strengthen the essay’s structure.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision. There is evidence of using less common lexical items with awareness of style and collocation. The essay effectively explores the causes and consequences of the throwaway society, utilizing a mix of common and less common vocabulary. While occasional errors in word choice and word formation are present, they do not significantly impede communication. The writer employs a variety of words to convey ideas, and there is a reasonable control of vocabulary throughout.
How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating a broader range of vocabulary to further elevate the sophistication of expression. Pay closer attention to word choice and ensure precision in the use of less common lexical items. Additionally, proofread the essay to eliminate minor errors in word formation and spelling for a more polished presentation.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of complex structures, including the use of subordinate clauses and varied sentence forms. The writer employs a mix of simple and complex sentences to convey ideas. The majority of sentences are error-free, contributing to clear communication. There is evidence of good control of grammar and punctuation, although there are a few errors scattered throughout the essay. These errors, however, are minor and do not significantly impede understanding. The essay effectively addresses the prompt, presenting a coherent argument with supporting examples.
How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure consistency in verb tenses. Additionally, proofread the essay to catch and rectify minor errors, ensuring a consistently high level of accuracy. Consider incorporating a wider variety of complex structures to further elevate the writing.
Bài sửa mẫu
It is indeed a reality that we have developed a habit of acquiring goods and promptly disposing of them after a short period of use. This essay aims to explore the various factors contributing to this trend and the significant repercussions it brings.
One of the primary drivers behind this throwaway culture is consumer preference. People often opt for products with a limited lifespan and lower quality, prioritizing convenience and affordability. For instance, some individuals are attracted to purchasing clothes from online platforms like Tiki or Shopee during events such as Black Friday or major sales, allowing them to spend as little as 10,000 VND. As a result, companies exploit this inclination by producing a multitude of items for the market. Another aspect to consider is the transformation in consumer behavior. Instead of acquiring items to meet their basic needs, contemporary consumers have shifted towards desires fueled by entertainment, aesthetics, and emotional satisfaction. For example, some young people buy clothes not just for everyday wear but for specific occasions, discarding them afterward.
This phenomenon has detrimental effects on our environment. Firstly, the more items we buy, the greater the amount of waste we contribute to the environment. Non-renewable and non-biodegradable waste, in particular, can pose a significant threat to the air and water if proper disposal methods are not employed. In some countries with limited advanced technology, the common practice is to bury and burn trash, resulting in severe environmental impacts. Additionally, this trend can lead to the overexploitation of natural resources. For instance, when there is high demand for wooden furniture, more trees are cut down to meet this demand. However, without awareness of our actions, we risk causing further harm to the environment in the future.
In conclusion, the prevalence of the throwaway culture profoundly affects our environment and contributes to the depletion of natural resources, such as wood. These two major issues stem from this societal trend and necessitate our attention and consideration for sustainable solutions.