People believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
People believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.
You should write at least 250 words.
It is widely debated that paying tax should be considered as optional and citizens have their right to keep all the money they earn which arise numerous agrument. In this essay, from my perspective I strongly disagree with the statement as the action could result significant consequences.
Firstly, it is crucial to remembers the role of tax. Tax are established by the government as the result of the demand for improvement and development toward facilities and citizen needs. A clear example can be seen in education that the crucial for modern equipment and better facilities become inevitable the government must use financial from taxes to cover the construction costs. In addition, lack of money can lead to more problems related renovation and construction of building as well as public facilities. As a result, without tax the financial source will be interrupted causing the postpone of amelioration.
Secondly, a striking consequence is that an absent of citizens support can account for the lack of foreign cooperative, as taxes plays as the main source of investment for international projects which not only secure but also enhance the country prosperity. Developing is a good example as developing countries requires the helping hand from developed countries for petrol extraction and exportation and money is inevitable in order to maintain the relationship between buyer and user. Consequently, lack of cooperation means lack of amenities for daily uses resulted chaos and terror across the country.
In conclusion, as has been outlined above, tax plays an important role in the nation development and people needs to be aware of their part in the process of building up a promising future for their nation by providing dedication.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"paying tax should be considered as optional" -> "taxation should be considered voluntary"
Explanation: The phrase "paying tax should be considered as optional" is awkward and informal. "Taxation should be considered voluntary" is more precise and formal, aligning better with academic style. -
"citizens have their right to keep all the money they earn which arise numerous agrument" -> "citizens have the right to retain all their earnings, which raises numerous arguments"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The revised version corrects the grammar and clarifies the meaning, enhancing readability and formality. -
"strongly disagree with the statement" -> "firmly disagree with this assertion"
Explanation: "Strongly disagree" is somewhat informal and vague. "Firmly disagree" is more precise and academically appropriate, and "this assertion" is a more formal way to refer to the statement. -
"it is crucial to remembers" -> "it is essential to remember"
Explanation: "remembers" is a verb form that does not fit in this context. "Remember" is the correct verb form, and "essential" is more formal than "crucial." -
"Tax are established" -> "Taxes are established"
Explanation: "Tax" should be pluralized to "Taxes" to agree with the plural verb "are." -
"the result of the demand for improvement and development toward facilities and citizen needs" -> "a response to the demand for improvements and developments in facilities and citizen needs"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and unclear. The revision clarifies the meaning and improves the flow of the sentence. -
"the crucial for modern equipment and better facilities become inevitable" -> "the need for modern equipment and better facilities becomes inevitable"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The revision corrects the grammar and clarifies the meaning. -
"lack of money can lead to more problems related renovation and construction of building" -> "a lack of funds can lead to more problems in the renovation and construction of buildings"
Explanation: "Lack of money" is informal and vague; "a lack of funds" is more precise and formal. Also, "building" should be pluralized to "buildings" to match the plural context. -
"absent of citizens support" -> "absence of citizen support"
Explanation: "Absent of" is grammatically incorrect. "Absence of" is the correct phrase, and "citizen" should be singular to match the singular verb "is." -
"taxes plays as the main source" -> "taxes serve as the primary source"
Explanation: "Plays" is incorrect in this context; "serve" is the correct verb. Also, "primary" is more formal than "main." -
"Developing is a good example" -> "Developing countries serve as a good example"
Explanation: The original phrase is vague and incomplete. The revision clarifies the subject and enhances the formality. -
"money is inevitable in order to maintain the relationship" -> "funds are essential to maintain the relationship"
Explanation: "Money" is too informal and general; "funds" is more specific and formal. "Essential" is also more precise than "inevitable." -
"lack of cooperation means lack of amenities for daily uses resulted chaos and terror" -> "the absence of cooperation leads to a lack of essential amenities, resulting in chaos and terror"
Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The revision corrects these issues and improves clarity and formality. -
"as has been outlined above" -> "as outlined above"
Explanation: "As has been outlined" is redundant; "as outlined" is sufficient and more concise. -
"people needs to be aware of their part" -> "people need to be aware of their role"
Explanation: "Needs" should be "need" for subject-verb agreement, and "role" is a more precise term than "part" in this context.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by clearly stating a disagreement with the notion that individuals should keep all their earnings without paying taxes. The author presents reasons for this stance, focusing on the role of taxes in societal development and public services. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of the opposing viewpoint, which would provide a more balanced discussion. For instance, while the author argues against the idea of not paying taxes, they do not explore why some individuals might hold this belief, which could strengthen the overall argument.
- How to improve: To enhance this aspect, the writer should briefly outline the opposing view before refuting it. This could involve mentioning common arguments for tax exemption, such as personal financial freedom or government inefficiency, and then explaining why these arguments may not hold up against the benefits of taxation.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position against the idea of not paying taxes, which is commendable. However, the phrasing in some parts, such as "from my perspective I strongly disagree," could be more assertive. The use of "could result significant consequences" is vague and could be more direct in stating the potential negative impacts of eliminating taxes.
- How to improve: The writer should use more definitive language to reinforce their position. Instead of saying "could result," they might say "would result in" to convey a stronger conviction. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph consistently ties back to the central argument will help maintain clarity.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents relevant ideas regarding the necessity of taxes for public services and international cooperation. However, the development of these ideas lacks depth. For example, the first paragraph mentions education but does not provide specific examples of how tax funding directly benefits educational systems. The second paragraph introduces the concept of international cooperation but does not elaborate on how taxes facilitate this process.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should include specific examples and data to support their claims. For instance, citing statistics on how tax revenue is allocated to education or public services could provide stronger backing for their argument. Additionally, expanding on the consequences of a lack of taxes with real-world examples would enhance the essay’s persuasiveness.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the implications of not paying taxes. However, some sentences are convoluted and may distract from the main argument. For example, the phrase "resulted chaos and terror across the country" is vague and could be interpreted in many ways, which detracts from the clarity of the argument.
- How to improve: The writer should strive for clearer and more concise language. Avoiding overly complex sentence structures and ensuring that each sentence directly supports the main argument will help maintain focus. Additionally, using clear transitions between ideas can help guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear position, it would benefit from a more balanced approach to opposing views, stronger examples and support for its claims, and clearer language to enhance overall coherence and focus.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear stance against the notion that individuals should keep all their earnings without paying taxes. The arguments are structured in a logical sequence, with each paragraph addressing a specific point. For instance, the first paragraph discusses the role of taxes in funding public services like education, while the second paragraph focuses on the implications of tax absence on international cooperation and investment. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother, as some sentences feel abrupt and disrupt the overall flow.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that directly relate to the thesis. Additionally, employing transitional phrases such as "Furthermore," "In contrast," or "Moreover" can help guide the reader through the argument more fluidly.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate distinct ideas, which aids in readability. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, making it easier for the reader to follow. However, the second paragraph is somewhat lengthy and could benefit from being split into two separate paragraphs to better delineate the points about international cooperation and the consequences of lacking taxes.
- How to improve: Consider breaking longer paragraphs into smaller ones when introducing a new idea or example. For instance, the discussion on international cooperation could be separated from the implications of lacking amenities, allowing for a more focused argument in each paragraph.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "In addition," and "Consequently," which help to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be clearer. For example, the phrase "as has been outlined above" in the conclusion feels somewhat redundant and could be replaced with a more impactful summary statement.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For example, use "On the other hand" to introduce contrasting ideas, or "For instance" to provide examples. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately to enhance clarity and coherence rather than merely to fulfill a requirement.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, addressing the aforementioned areas for improvement will enhance the overall coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use varied expressions. Terms like "improvement," "development," and "prosperity" reflect an understanding of the topic. However, the vocabulary is often repetitive, particularly with phrases such as "lack of" and "financial." Additionally, some word choices are awkward or incorrect, such as "the action could result significant consequences," which should be "the action could result in significant consequences."
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and alternative phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "lack of," consider using "deficiency" or "shortage." Expanding the vocabulary related to taxation and its impacts can also enrich the essay.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that hinder clarity. For example, "an absent of citizens support" should be "an absence of citizen support." The phrase "tax plays as the main source" is also incorrect; it should be "tax plays a role as the main source." Such inaccuracies can confuse the reader and detract from the overall argument.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should review vocabulary choices and ensure they fit grammatically and contextually. Using a thesaurus can help find more appropriate words, but it is essential to understand their meanings fully before using them in context.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "agrument" (argument), "remembers" (remember), "tax are" (tax is), and "cooperative" (cooperation). These errors indicate a lack of attention to detail and can distract the reader from the content of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully, ideally reading it aloud to catch mistakes. Utilizing spell-check tools and practicing spelling common academic vocabulary can also be beneficial. Keeping a list of frequently misspelled words and reviewing them regularly can help solidify correct spelling in the writer’s mind.
Overall, while the essay presents a coherent argument, improving vocabulary range, precision, and spelling will significantly enhance the lexical resource score.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, including simple and complex sentences. For example, the writer uses complex structures like "as the action could result significant consequences" and "without tax the financial source will be interrupted causing the postpone of amelioration." However, the range is limited, and many sentences are awkwardly constructed or lack clarity. The use of phrases like "the crucial for modern equipment" is grammatically incorrect and affects the overall readability.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety and effectiveness of sentence structures, the writer should practice incorporating more complex sentences with appropriate clauses. For instance, using relative clauses (e.g., "which are crucial for modern equipment") can add depth. Additionally, varying sentence beginnings and lengths can create a more engaging rhythm in writing.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For example, "remembers" should be "remember," and "Tax are established" should be "Taxes are established." The phrase "an absent of citizens support" should be "an absence of citizen support." Punctuation is also inconsistent; for instance, commas are often missing before conjunctions in compound sentences, which can lead to run-on sentences.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should review subject-verb agreement and the correct forms of nouns (singular vs. plural). Regular practice with grammar exercises focusing on common errors can be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading the essay for punctuation errors, particularly in complex sentences, will help ensure clarity and coherence. Reading more academic texts can also provide insights into correct grammatical structures and punctuation usage.
Overall, while the essay presents a clear argument, focusing on these areas will help elevate the grammatical range and accuracy, potentially improving the band score in future writing tasks.
Bài sửa mẫu
It is widely debated that taxation should be considered voluntary and that citizens have the right to retain all their earnings, which raises numerous arguments. In this essay, I firmly disagree with this assertion, as the absence of taxation could lead to significant consequences.
Firstly, it is essential to remember the role of taxes. Taxes are established by the government in responseto the demand for improvements and developments in facilities and citizen needs. A clear example can be seen in education, where the need for modernequipment and better facilities becomes inevitable. The government must utilize funds from taxes to cover construction costs. Additionally, a lack of funds can lead to more problems related to the renovation and construction of buildings, as well as public facilities. As a result, without taxes, the financial source will be interrupted, causing delays in essential improvements.
Secondly, a striking consequence of the absence of citizen support is the lack of foreign cooperation, as taxes serve as the primary source of investment for international projects, which not only secure but also enhance the country’s prosperity. Developing countries serve as a good example, as they require assistance from developed nations for resource extraction and exportation. Funds are essential to maintain the relationship between buyers and sellers. Consequently, the absence of cooperation leads to a lack of essential amenities, resulting in chaos and turmoil across the country.
In conclusion, as outlined above, taxes play an important role in national development, and people need to be aware of their role in building a promising future for their nation by contributing through taxation.
