people have a stronger liking for bad news, such as crimes and wars, than good news. Therefore many people believe that more bad news should be broadcasted. What is your opinion?

It's a fact that bad news is always everyone's focus as the views of that news are higher than good news because of its seriousness and enhances their awareness.
People always look for bad news to read to avoid its risks and remain aware of potential threats. Advocates argue that negative news raises public awareness about social issues like diseases and crimes, enabling individuals to proactively safeguard themselves. Prioritizing negative news will help society become more vigilant and minimize potential incidents. When similar cases occur, readers will have experience in solving them correctly. Therefore, prioritizing bad news also has benefits and helps make society better.
Furthermore, the prominence of bad news is also driven of its ability to captivate a larger audience and increase media revenues. Attracting viewers with its sensational power will increase revenue for journalists, advertisers and media. Because of its advantage for them as encourage them to write more articles about bad news. Therefore, the media always prioritize bringing bad news to the top, which is beneficial for everyone.
In conclusion, people are likely to read bad news to enhances their awareness and also increase a large imcome for media companies. For these reasons, it is clear that more bad news should be broadcasted.

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Errors and Improvements:

"It’s a fact that bad news is always everyone’s focus" -> "It is widely acknowledged that negative news consistently garners widespread attention"
Explanation: Replacing the colloquial "It’s a fact that" with "It is widely acknowledged that" and restructuring the sentence to use more formal vocabulary enhances the academic tone. Additionally, "everyone’s focus" is replaced with "consistently garners widespread attention" for precision and formality.
"as the views of that news are higher than good news" -> "due to the higher viewership of negative news compared to positive news"
Explanation: "views" is replaced with "viewership" for clarity and formality. "that news" is replaced with "negative news" for specificity. "are higher than" is replaced with "compared to" for precision and academic appropriateness.
"because of its seriousness and enhances their awareness" -> "owing to its gravity and its role in heightening awareness"
Explanation: "because of its seriousness and enhances their awareness" lacks clarity and uses casual language. "owing to its gravity and its role in heightening awareness" offers a more formal and precise expression, addressing both the seriousness of the news and its impact on awareness.
"People always look for bad news to read" -> "Individuals consistently seek negative news for consumption"
Explanation: "People always look for bad news to read" is too colloquial. "Individuals consistently seek negative news for consumption" offers a more formal and precise expression, avoiding the use of contractions and employing academic vocabulary.
"Advocates argue that negative news raises public awareness about social issues like diseases and crimes" -> "Advocates contend that negative news fosters public awareness of social issues such as diseases and crimes"
Explanation: "raises" is replaced with "fosters" for a more sophisticated term. "about" is replaced with "of" for accuracy. "like" is replaced with "such as" for formal correctness.
"enabling individuals to proactively safeguard themselves" -> "empowering individuals to take proactive measures for self-protection"
Explanation: "enabling individuals to proactively safeguard themselves" is slightly informal. "empowering individuals to take proactive measures for self-protection" offers a more formal and precise expression, using stronger vocabulary.
"Prioritizing negative news will help society become more vigilant and minimize potential incidents" -> "Giving precedence to negative news can enhance societal vigilance and mitigate potential incidents"
Explanation: "Prioritizing negative news" is replaced with "Giving precedence to negative news" for a more formal expression. "help society become" is replaced with "can enhance societal" for precision. "more vigilant and minimize" is replaced with "enhance societal vigilance and mitigate" for clarity and formality.
"readers will have experience in solving them correctly" -> "readers will gain experience in addressing them effectively"
Explanation: "solving them correctly" is replaced with "addressing them effectively" for clarity and formality.
"Furthermore, the prominence of bad news is also driven of its ability to captivate a larger audience" -> "Furthermore, the prevalence of negative news is attributed to its capacity to captivate a broader audience"
Explanation: "prominence" is replaced with "prevalence" for accuracy. "driven of" is replaced with "attributed to" for formal correctness. "a larger audience" is replaced with "a broader audience" for precision.
"increase media revenues" -> "boost media revenues"
Explanation: "increase" is replaced with "boost" for conciseness and clarity.
"Because of its advantage for them as encourage them to write more articles about bad news" -> "This advantage incentivizes them to produce more articles on negative news"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect. "as encourage them" is replaced with "incentivizes them" for clarity and formality. "write more articles about bad news" is replaced with "produce more articles on negative news" for precision.
"For these reasons, it is clear that more bad news should be broadcasted." -> "Consequently, it is evident that the dissemination of negative news should be prioritized."
Explanation: "For these reasons" is replaced with "Consequently" for formal correctness. "it is clear that more bad news should be broadcasted" is replaced with "it is evident that the dissemination of negative news should be prioritized" for a more formal and precise expression.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing why people are more interested in bad news and whether more bad news should be broadcasted. It acknowledges the preference for bad news due to its seriousness and the awareness it raises. It argues that broadcasting more bad news can be beneficial for society and media revenues.
- How to improve: The essay should further develop the discussion on whether more bad news should be broadcasted. It briefly touches on the benefits but could explore counterarguments or other perspectives to provide a more balanced view.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that more bad news should be broadcasted. It consistently argues that bad news increases awareness and media revenue, and therefore should be prioritized.
- How to improve: Ensure that the position is nuanced and supported by more detailed reasoning and evidence throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas about why bad news is popular and argues its benefits to society and media. It supports these ideas with assertions about public awareness and media revenue.
- How to improve: The essay could benefit from more specific examples or studies to support claims about public awareness and media revenue. It should extend and develop these ideas further.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing why people prefer bad news and arguing that more bad news should be broadcasted.
- How to improve: To improve, ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the prompt and maintains a clear focus on the topic throughout.

General Feedback:
The essay effectively addresses the preference for bad news and argues that more bad news should be broadcasted, primarily to increase awareness and media revenue. However, it falls slightly short of the word requirement and could benefit from more detailed examples and development of ideas.

To improve the essay:

Expand on the Benefits of Bad News: Develop your discussion on the benefits of broadcasting more bad news. Provide specific examples or studies that illustrate how bad news increases public awareness or media revenue.
Address Counterarguments: Acknowledge and address potential counterarguments. This will strengthen your argument by demonstrating a balanced view.
Use More Academic Vocabulary: Increase the use of academic vocabulary to enhance the formality and clarity of your essay.

By addressing these points, you can improve the depth and coherence of your essay, leading to a higher band score for task response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a logical progression of ideas, starting with the premise that bad news garners more attention due to its seriousness and societal implications. It then proceeds to discuss the reasons behind the preference for bad news, such as raising awareness and increasing media revenues. However, there are some instances where the flow could be improved, such as the transition between paragraphs.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs. For instance, between the first and second paragraphs, a clearer connection could be established to maintain coherence. Additionally, consider using transitional phrases or topic sentences to guide the reader through the essay’s structure more effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into paragraphs, each addressing a distinct aspect of the argument. However, some paragraphs could benefit from further development and cohesion. For example, the second paragraph discusses the benefits of negative news in raising awareness but could expand on specific examples or studies to support this claim.
- How to improve: Strengthen paragraph structure by providing more detailed examples or evidence to support each argument. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus on the topic at hand and contributes to the overall coherence of the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as transitional phrases ("Furthermore," "In conclusion"), to connect ideas and facilitate the flow of the argument. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the types of cohesive devices used and ensuring their consistent application throughout the essay.
- How to improve: Expand the range of cohesive devices used, including pronouns, conjunctions, and lexical cohesive devices like synonyms and repetitions. This will help create stronger connections between sentences and paragraphs, enhancing the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay. Additionally, pay attention to the placement of cohesive devices to ensure they contribute to the clarity and logical progression of the argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. There is some variety in word choice, but it could be further expanded to enhance the depth and sophistication of expression. For instance, phrases like "remains aware" and "prioritizing bad news" exhibit a level of lexical diversity, yet there is room for improvement in introducing more nuanced vocabulary to convey ideas more precisely.
- How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, the writer could incorporate more specific and varied vocabulary. For example, instead of repeatedly using "bad news," they could employ synonyms such as "adverse events," "negative occurrences," or "dire circumstances." Additionally, utilizing terminology related to media and journalism could enrich the vocabulary further, contributing to a more nuanced argument.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally employs vocabulary with precision, but there are instances of imprecise usage. For instance, the phrase "to enhances their awareness" contains a grammatical error and lacks precision. Additionally, the repetition of phrases like "bad news" without variation diminishes the precision of expression.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary accurately and effectively. This includes avoiding grammatical errors and selecting words that precisely convey the intended meaning. Revising sentences for clarity and coherence can also contribute to a more precise use of vocabulary. For example, instead of "enhances their awareness," the writer could use "heightens their awareness" for greater precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a satisfactory level of spelling accuracy. Most words are spelled correctly, contributing to the overall readability of the text. However, there are a few instances of minor spelling errors, such as "imcome" instead of "income."
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in thorough proofreading and utilize spell-checking tools to identify and correct errors. Developing a habit of reviewing written work systematically before submission can help mitigate spelling mistakes. Additionally, paying close attention to commonly misspelled words and practicing their correct usage can further improve spelling proficiency.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. However, there is room for improvement in the variety and complexity of sentence structures to enhance the overall sophistication of the writing. For instance, while there are some attempts at complex sentences, such as "Advocates argue that negative news raises public awareness about social issues like diseases and crimes, enabling individuals to proactively safeguard themselves," the essay could benefit from incorporating more varied structures, such as conditional sentences, passive voice constructions, or clauses with subordinate conjunctions.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, consider incorporating a variety of sentence types and structures throughout the essay. Introduce conditional sentences to express hypothetical situations or consequences, utilize passive voice constructions to vary sentence structures, and incorporate clauses with subordinate conjunctions to provide additional context and complexity. Additionally, strive for clarity and coherence when employing complex structures to ensure they contribute effectively to the overall flow of ideas.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of grammatical accuracy, with minimal errors in subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency. However, there are instances of grammatical errors and punctuation inaccuracies throughout the essay that affect its clarity and coherence. For example, the phrase "the views of that news are higher than good news" should be revised to "the viewership of such news is higher than that of good news" for clarity and grammatical correctness. Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as missing commas after introductory phrases and inconsistent capitalization of proper nouns.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, it is essential to review and revise the essay carefully. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and the correct usage of punctuation marks, including commas, periods, and apostrophes. Consider seeking feedback from peers or utilizing grammar-checking tools to identify and correct errors effectively. Moreover, practice writing sentences with varied structures and lengths to reinforce grammatical rules and enhance overall writing proficiency.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is widely acknowledged that negative news consistently garners widespread attention due to its seriousness and the heightened awareness it brings. Individuals consistently seek out negative news to remain aware of potential risks and threats. Advocates contend that negative news fosters public awareness of social issues such as diseases and crimes, empowering individuals to take proactive measures for self-protection. Giving precedence to negative news can enhance societal vigilance and mitigate potential incidents. When similar cases arise, readers will gain experience in addressing them effectively. Furthermore, the prevalence of negative news is attributed to its capacity to captivate a broader audience and boost media revenues. This advantage incentivizes media outlets to produce more articles on negative news. Consequently, it is evident that the dissemination of negative news should be prioritized.

In conclusion, the inclination towards bad news stems from its ability to enhance awareness and its financial benefits for media companies. Therefore, it is clear that broadcasting more bad news would serve the interests of both individuals and media organizations.