People should choose their course of study not on the basis of their own interests but based on the kinds of jobs they can get. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this satement? Give 3 reasons and include relevant examples.

The decision to pursue a particular course of study is a critical one that will affect an individual's future profession and personal advancement. While some argue that majors should be chosen primarily for the job opportunities they provide, I firmly believe that personal interests should be the guiding force behind this decision due to three compelling reasons: long-term career satisfaction, fostering creativity and innovation, and experiencing greater personal fulfillment and well-being.
Firstly, pursuing a course of study aligned with personal interests promotes long-term career satisfaction and success. According to several studies, those who are passionate about their field of study tend to excel in their careers and experience higher levels of job satisfaction. For instance, a person with a genuine interest in computer science is more likely to thrive in a technology-related career, leading to a fulfilling professional life. Choosing a major exclusively focused on job chances, on the other hand, may result in a lack of excitement and desire, eventually impeding one's professional progress and contentment.
Secondly, following one's passion fosters creativity and innovation. People who work in subjects related to their interests are more creative and have better problem-solving abilities, which eventually leads to advancement in such disciplines. In particular, someone who is passionate about environmental preservation is more likely to be at the forefront of creative ideas that advance sustainability and benefit society broadly. In contrast, deciding on a course of study only based on how well it would prepare one for a career might limit one's ability to be creative and make significant contributions to the subject they choose.
Lastly, following a course of study based on one's interests is strongly associated with personal fulfillment and well-being. Aligning one's career with personal interests and values leads to greater job satisfaction, lower levels of stress, and improved overall well-being. For instance, a person who is passionate about art and chooses to study fine arts is more likely to experience a sense of fulfillment and purpose in their career, contributing to their overall happiness and mental well-being. Conversely, pursuing a major solely for its job prospects may lead to a sense of emptiness and dissatisfaction, impacting one's mental and emotional health.
In conclusion, while job prospects are undeniably important, the decision to choose a course of study should primarily be based on personal interests. By pursuing a field that aligns with one's passions, individuals are more likely to achieve long-term career satisfaction, foster creativity and innovation, and experience greater personal fulfillment and well-being. Therefore, it is imperative for individuals to prioritize their own interests when making this critical decision.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"job opportunities" -> "career prospects"
Explanation: Replacing "job opportunities" with "career prospects" elevates the language to a more formal and nuanced term. It aligns better with academic discourse by emphasizing a broader view of potential paths beyond mere job opportunities.
"experience higher levels of job satisfaction" -> "attain elevated job satisfaction"
Explanation: "Experience higher levels of job satisfaction" can be refined to "attain elevated job satisfaction" for a more polished and formal expression without altering the meaning.
"exclusive focus" -> "sole emphasis"
Explanation: Swapping "exclusive focus" with "sole emphasis" maintains the context while introducing a slightly more sophisticated term, enhancing the formality of the statement.
"advancement in such disciplines" -> "progression in these fields"
Explanation: Substituting "advancement in such disciplines" with "progression in these fields" offers a clearer and more academically precise description without sacrificing clarity.
"broadly" -> "at large"
Explanation: Replacing "broadly" with "at large" preserves the meaning while introducing a more formal phrase commonly found in academic writing.
"conclusively" -> "ultimately"
Explanation: The term "conclusively" can be substituted with "ultimately" for a smoother transition in the concluding paragraph, maintaining a formal tone.
"undeniably important" -> "undeniably crucial"
Explanation: Altering "undeniably important" to "undeniably crucial" maintains the emphasis while introducing a more formal term, aligning better with academic language standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Quoted text: "While some argue that majors should be chosen primarily for the job opportunities they provide, I firmly believe that personal interests should be the guiding force behind this decision due to three compelling reasons: long-term career satisfaction, fostering creativity and innovation, and experiencing greater personal fulfillment and well-being."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: Your introduction effectively presents your position on the topic. However, it would be beneficial to provide a brief roadmap of the three reasons you will discuss to enhance the clarity of your essay’s structure. This can help readers anticipate the main points you will cover, providing a clear direction for your argument.
- Improved example: "While some advocate for selecting majors based on job prospects, I firmly assert that personal interests should guide this decision. In this essay, I will delve into three key reasons supporting this stance: the long-term satisfaction of one’s career, the fostering of creativity and innovation, and the overall enhancement of personal fulfillment and well-being."
Quoted text: "For instance, a person with a genuine interest in computer science is more likely to thrive in a technology-related career, leading to a fulfilling professional life. Choosing a major exclusively focused on job chances, on the other hand, may result in a lack of excitement and desire, eventually impeding one’s professional progress and contentment."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: Your example effectively illustrates the concept of long-term career satisfaction tied to personal interests. However, consider providing a more specific and personal example to make your argument more compelling. Share a brief anecdote or personal experience related to the positive impact of aligning one’s career with personal interests.
- Improved example: "For instance, my friend, passionate about computer science since childhood, pursued a technology-related career. His genuine interest not only fueled his professional growth but also created a sense of excitement and desire, propelling him toward career contentment and success."
Quoted text: "People who work in subjects related to their interests are more creative and have better problem-solving abilities, which eventually leads to advancement in such disciplines."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: This point is well-stated, but it could benefit from a specific example that draws on personal experience or observations. Narrate a situation where someone’s passion for a subject led to creative problem-solving or advancements in that field.
- Improved example: "I have witnessed firsthand how individuals deeply engaged in subjects they are passionate about demonstrate remarkable creativity. For instance, a friend with a profound interest in environmental preservation consistently generated innovative ideas that contributed to advancements in sustainable practices, showcasing the direct link between personal passion and creative problem-solving."

Overall, your essay effectively addresses the task, maintaining a clear position and providing relevant reasons with supporting examples. Enhancing the specificity of your examples and providing a roadmap in the introduction would further strengthen your argument.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a strong coherence and cohesion, earning it a Band 8. The information is logically sequenced, and there is a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay. The use of cohesive devices is skillful, with effective paragraphing that aids the overall flow of the essay. The writer maintains a clear central topic within each paragraph, and the essay as a whole is well-organized.

How to improve:
To enhance coherence further, consider reinforcing the connection between paragraphs by using transitional phrases or sentences. While the essay is well-structured, a more explicit link between ideas in adjacent paragraphs could elevate the overall cohesion. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used consistently throughout the essay, avoiding any instances of under- or over-use. Overall, maintaining this level of organization and refining the integration of cohesive elements will contribute to even greater coherence and cohesion in future essays.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable command of vocabulary, utilizing a wide range of words with fluency and precision. The candidate effectively conveys nuanced meanings and employs uncommon lexical items, contributing to a sophisticated expression. There are rare errors in word choice and collocation, but they do not significantly impede communication. The essay also showcases a good level of spelling and word formation accuracy, with only occasional minor errors.

How to improve: To further enhance lexical resource, strive for even greater variety in vocabulary and consider incorporating more complex sentence structures. Pay meticulous attention to word choice and collocation to minimize any remaining minor errors. Additionally, continue to refine spelling and word formation to achieve an impeccable standard. Overall, maintaining a high level of lexical sophistication while consistently minimizing errors will contribute to achieving an even higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable command of grammatical structures with a wide range of sentence forms. The majority of sentences are error-free, and any errors present can be considered as minor slips. The use of complex structures is notable, contributing to the overall fluency of the essay.

How to improve: While the essay is strong in grammatical range and accuracy, a slight enhancement could be achieved by ensuring consistency in punctuation usage. There are a few instances where punctuation could be refined for even greater precision. Additionally, maintaining this level of accuracy throughout the essay will further strengthen the overall quality. Keep up the good work!

Bài sửa mẫu

The decision to select a specific course of study holds paramount importance, shaping one’s future profession and personal growth. Some argue that the choice of majors should hinge primarily on job prospects. However, I staunchly believe that personal interests should guide this decision, driven by three compelling reasons: long-term career satisfaction, fostering creativity and innovation, and experiencing greater personal fulfillment and well-being.

Firstly, pursuing a course aligned with personal interests promotes enduring career satisfaction and success. Studies consistently show that individuals passionate about their field tend to excel in their careers and enjoy heightened job satisfaction. For instance, someone genuinely interested in computer science is more likely to thrive in a technology-related career, resulting in a gratifying professional life. Conversely, choosing a major solely for job opportunities may lead to a lack of excitement and motivation, hindering professional progress and contentment.

Secondly, following one’s passion cultivates creativity and innovation. Those engaged in subjects aligning with their interests demonstrate enhanced creativity and superior problem-solving abilities, advancing their respective disciplines. For example, an individual passionate about environmental preservation is more likely to generate innovative ideas that promote sustainability and benefit society at large. Opting for a course of study solely based on career prospects may limit one’s capacity to be creative and contribute significantly to their chosen field.

Lastly, pursuing a course based on one’s interests correlates strongly with personal fulfillment and well-being. Aligning one’s career with personal interests and values leads to greater job satisfaction, reduced stress levels, and overall improved well-being. A person passionate about art who chooses to study fine arts, for instance, is more likely to find purpose and fulfillment in their career, contributing to their overall happiness and mental well-being. Conversely, pursuing a major solely for its job prospects may result in a sense of emptiness and dissatisfaction, affecting one’s mental and emotional health.

In conclusion, while acknowledging the importance of job prospects, the decision to choose a course of study should primarily rest on personal interests. Pursuing a field aligned with one’s passions increases the likelihood of achieving long-term career satisfaction, fostering creativity and innovation, and experiencing greater personal fulfillment and well-being. Therefore, individuals must prioritize their own interests when making this critical decision.