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Positive Impacts of Individual Film Production

Positive Impacts of Individual Film Production

Independent filmmaking offers a more creative playground for filmmakers. Free from the rules and limitations typically imposed by studios, directors can fully realize their visionary ideas. An excellent example of this is Parasite, a film that won an Oscar in 2020. Directed by Bong Joon Ho, Parasite is renowned for its unique storytelling and specific use of Korean imagery. Contrary to the mainstream industry norm where films often center around Western narratives, Parasite boldly featured an all-Asian cast. This decision, uninfluenced by studio pressures, was a significant factor in its success. The film's achievement of winning four Oscars stands as a testament to the success and impact of Bong Joon Ho and his team.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "Independent filmmaking offers a more creative playground for filmmakers." -> "Independent filmmaking provides a fertile ground for filmmakers’ creativity."
    Explanation: Replacing "creative playground" with "fertile ground for creativity" maintains a formal tone while expressing the idea more precisely.

  2. "Free from the rules and limitations typically imposed by studios…" -> "Liberated from the conventional constraints often imposed by studios…"
    Explanation: Substituting "free from" with "liberated from" and using "conventional constraints" instead of "rules and limitations" enhances the formality and clarity of the sentence.

  3. "fully realize their visionary ideas" -> "completely actualize their visionary concepts"
    Explanation: Replacing "fully realize" with "completely actualize" and "ideas" with "concepts" elevates the vocabulary and conveys the concept more formally.

  4. "An excellent example of this is Parasite" -> "An exemplary illustration of this is ‘Parasite,’"
    Explanation: Replacing "excellent example" with "exemplary illustration" adds a more sophisticated touch to the description of "Parasite."

  5. "Contrary to the mainstream industry norm…" -> "In contrast to the prevailing norms of the mainstream industry…"
    Explanation: Using "In contrast to" instead of "Contrary to" and "prevailing norms" instead of "industry norm" aligns better with academic style and formality.

  6. "Parasite boldly featured an all-Asian cast." -> "Parasite prominently showcased an exclusively Asian ensemble."
    Explanation: Replacing "boldly featured" with "prominently showcased" and "all-Asian cast" with "exclusively Asian ensemble" enhances the sophistication and precision of the statement.

  7. "This decision, uninfluenced by studio pressures…" -> "This decision, unaffected by the pressures exerted by studios…"
    Explanation: Using "unaffected by" instead of "uninfluenced by" and "pressures exerted by studios" instead of "studio pressures" maintains a formal tone and improves clarity.

  8. "The film’s achievement of winning four Oscars stands as a testament to the success and impact of Bong Joon Ho and his team." -> "The film’s attainment of four Oscars serves as a testament to the achievement and influence of Bong Joon Ho and his team."
    Explanation: Replacing "achievement of winning" with "attainment of" and "success and impact" with "achievement and influence" elevates the vocabulary and formalizes the sentence.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question: Characteristic of Band 8

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the positive impacts of individual film production. It highlights the creative freedom available to independent filmmakers and provides a specific example (Parasite) to support the argument.
    • How to improve: To further improve, consider offering a more structured approach to discussing the positive impacts of individual film production. For instance, you could explore various aspects such as creative control, diverse storytelling, and the potential for innovation.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout: Characteristic of Band 9

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent position throughout. It unequivocally supports the idea that independent filmmaking allows for more creativity and highlights this through the example of Parasite.
    • How to improve: No specific improvement is needed in this aspect; the clarity and consistency of the position are commendable.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas: Characteristic of Band 9

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents its ideas effectively and extends them with relevant information. It discusses how independent filmmaking provides creative freedom, cites the example of Parasite, and explains its impact on the film industry.
    • How to improve: The essay is already strong in this area. To further enhance it, you could provide additional examples or go into greater depth in explaining the impact of independent filmmaking on the industry.
  • Stay on Topic: Characteristic of Band N/A (Not explicitly mentioned in the checklist)

    • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout and does not deviate into unrelated discussions.
    • How to improve: Since the checklist does not explicitly mention this criterion, there is no need for improvement in this regard.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the positive impacts of individual film production and effectively supports its argument with a relevant example. To enhance it further, consider providing more comprehensive details and possibly additional examples to strengthen your points.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically: Characteristic of Band 6

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a mostly coherent arrangement of ideas and maintains a clear overall structure. It effectively introduces the topic of independent filmmaking and then provides an example with "Parasite." The progression of ideas is logical, with a focus on the creative freedom of independent filmmaking and its positive impact on films like "Parasite."
    • How to improve: To further enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using transitional phrases or sentences to connect the ideas more smoothly. For instance, you can use phrases like "Moreover," "Furthermore," or "In addition to" to strengthen the link between sentences and paragraphs.
  • Use Paragraphs: Characteristic of Band 8

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs sufficiently and appropriately, with a logical sequencing of ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of independent filmmaking and its impact on the film "Parasite." This segmentation enhances the clarity and organization of the essay.
    • How to improve: While the use of paragraphs is effective, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence at the beginning to provide a concise overview of its content. This will make it even easier for the reader to follow the essay’s structure.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices: Characteristic of Band 8

    • Detailed explanation: The essay skillfully employs cohesive devices, with occasional lapses. Cohesive devices like pronouns ("it," "this decision"), transitional phrases ("contrary to," "a testament to"), and repeated keywords ("independent filmmaking," "Parasite") effectively connect ideas and create a sense of continuity.
    • How to improve: To achieve a higher score, strive for more consistent use of cohesive devices throughout the essay. Ensure that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are seamless and that pronoun references are clear to avoid any potential confusion.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid level of coherence and cohesion, earning a Band Score of 6. To improve this score, work on refining the use of transitional phrases, incorporating clear topic sentences in each paragraph, and consistently using cohesive devices to strengthen the connections between ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary: Characteristic of Band 7
    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary, with some flexibility and precision. The use of words like "independent filmmaking," "visionary ideas," "renowned," and "uninfluenced by studio pressures" indicates an attempt to employ diverse vocabulary.
    • How to improve: To enhance your vocabulary further and reach a Band 7 level, try to incorporate more advanced and nuanced terms. For instance, instead of "creative playground," you could use "innovative platform." Additionally, consider using idiomatic expressions or phrasal verbs to add depth to your writing.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely: Characteristic of Band 6
    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally conveys clear meaning, but there are instances where more precise vocabulary could be employed to improve clarity. For example, the phrase "unique storytelling" could be further refined to specify the particular storytelling techniques or elements that make Parasite distinctive.
    • How to improve: To achieve a higher score, focus on pinpointing the exact qualities or aspects you want to convey. Instead of "unique storytelling," you might say "innovative narrative techniques" or "distinctive storytelling methods" to provide a clearer picture of what sets Parasite apart.
  • Use Correct Spelling: Characteristic of Band 7
    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a commendable level of spelling accuracy, with few errors. Spelling errors do not significantly detract from the overall clarity of the essay.
    • How to improve: Keep up the good work in maintaining correct spelling. Continue to proofread your essays carefully to catch any occasional errors that may slip through.

Overall, your essay displays competence in vocabulary usage and spelling, earning a Band Score of 6. To improve your score, consider incorporating more advanced vocabulary for greater precision and refinement in your expressions. Additionally, pay close attention to using vocabulary precisely to convey your ideas with maximum clarity.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures: Characteristic of Band 7

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a commendable variety of sentence structures. It employs complex structures such as "Free from the rules and limitations typically imposed by studios" and "Contrary to the mainstream industry norm where films often center around Western narratives." These structures contribute to the essay’s coherence and clarity, making it engaging for the reader.
    • How to improve: To further enhance the essay’s impact, consider incorporating a few more sophisticated structures. For instance, you could introduce conditional sentences or use rhetorical questions strategically. This will add depth and complexity to your writing.
  • Use Grammar Accurately: Characteristic of Band 8

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a strong command of grammar, with most sentences being error-free. However, there is one minor grammatical issue: "an excellent example of this is Parasite." The correct usage should be "An excellent example of this is ‘Parasite’." Additionally, the phrase "stand as a testament" could be refined to "stands as a testament" to match subject-verb agreement.
    • How to improve: Pay close attention to article usage and subject-verb agreement to eliminate these minor errors. A thorough proofreading before submission will help ensure complete grammatical accuracy.
  • Use Correct Punctuation: Characteristic of Band 8

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively employs punctuation throughout. Commas are appropriately used to set off introductory phrases ("Free from the rules and limitations typically imposed by studios"), and the essay correctly uses quotation marks around the movie title "Parasite."
    • How to improve: Continue practicing punctuation skills to maintain this high level of accuracy. Make sure to consistently use quotation marks when referencing titles and consider using dashes or colons to enhance sentence variety in future essays.

Overall, this essay is well-written and falls within the Band 7 range for Grammatical Range and Accuracy. With minor improvements in grammatical precision and the incorporation of more varied sentence structures, you can consistently achieve a higher score in this criterion. Keep up the good work!

Bài sửa mẫu

Independent filmmaking provides a fertile ground for filmmakers’ creativity. Liberated from the conventional constraints often imposed by studios, directors can completely actualize their visionary concepts. An exemplary illustration of this is ‘Parasite,’ a film that secured four Oscars in 2020. Directed by Bong Joon Ho, ‘Parasite’ is well-known for its distinctive storytelling and specific incorporation of Korean imagery. In contrast to the prevailing norms of the mainstream industry, ‘Parasite’ prominently showcased an exclusively Asian ensemble. This decision, unaffected by the pressures exerted by studios, played a significant role in its success. The film’s attainment of four Oscars serves as a testament to the achievement and influence of Bong Joon Ho and his team.

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