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Recent research suggests that the majority of criminals who are sent to prison cimmit crimes after they are released. Why is this case ? What can be done to solve this problem ?

Recent research suggests that the majority of criminals who are sent
to prison cimmit crimes after they are released.
Why is this case ?
What can be done to solve this problem ?

It is widely recognized that incarceration is the most commonly employed method of countering serious crimes. Recent studies, however, indicate that the bulk of ex-convicts revert to crime following their release. I believe the causes of this problem lie in ex-prisoners difficulties in social reentry, and in order to curb recidivism, the government should focus more on rehabilitation programs and awareness-raising campaigns.
Most former inmates return to a life of crime largely because they find it extremely difficult to reintegrate into society. The public seemingly still has a hostile attitude towards ex-convicts, even when they have been successfully rehabilitated. This stigma manifests itself starkly in the way those with criminal records are often turned down when looking for employment, and in the way they frequently receive insulting criticisms of their previous criminal activities. Being jobless and ostracized, as a consequence, could make them hold a grudge against society, which then becomes the breeding ground for further crimes.
To reduce recidivism, the following steps should be taken. First, it is important that the government mount more campaigns aimed at mitigating social discrimination against former convicts. In tandem with this, rehabilitation and support programs for this group of people are also a great necessity to ensure that they find a job to support themselves, and more importantly, that they do not feel a sense of exclusion from society. This has proven successful in Norway, a country with reportedly the lowest recidivism rate in the world. Their success is mostly attributed to their focus on giving ex-prisoners a second chance at life by providing education, special job opportunities and mental health counseling.
To summarize, what seems to be at the core of former inmates recommitting crimes is the countless challenges involved in their social reintegration. For this reason, the government should ramp up its efforts to reduce the social stigmatization of these individuals, as well as offer better rehabilitation and support systems. By doing so, their likelihood of falling back into crime could be reduced.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "bulk of ex-convicts" -> "majority of former convicts"
    Explanation: Replacing "bulk of ex-convicts" with "majority of former convicts" maintains a formal tone by using a more precise and sophisticated term.

  2. "I believe the causes of this problem lie in ex-prisoners difficulties" -> "I posit that the roots of this issue stem from the challenges faced by ex-prisoners"
    Explanation: Substituting "I believe the causes" with "I posit that the roots" and rephrasing "lie in ex-prisoners difficulties" to "stem from the challenges faced by ex-prisoners" enhances the formality and clarity of expression.

  3. "ostracized" -> "socially marginalized"
    Explanation: Replacing "ostracized" with "socially marginalized" conveys a similar meaning in a more academically appropriate manner.

  4. "To reduce recidivism, the following steps should be taken." -> "To mitigate recidivism, the following measures should be implemented."
    Explanation: The suggested revision enhances formality by using "mitigate" instead of "reduce" and "measures" instead of "steps."

  5. "mount more campaigns" -> "launch comprehensive campaigns"
    Explanation: Substituting "mount more campaigns" with "launch comprehensive campaigns" adds a level of sophistication to the expression without sacrificing clarity.

  6. "starkly" -> "clearly"
    Explanation: Replacing "starkly" with "clearly" maintains the intended meaning in a more straightforward and formal manner.

  7. "insulting criticisms" -> "derogatory remarks"
    Explanation: Replacing "insulting criticisms" with "derogatory remarks" enhances precision and formality.

  8. "more campaigns aimed at mitigating social discrimination" -> "additional campaigns targeting the alleviation of social discrimination"
    Explanation: The suggested alteration introduces a more formal phrasing while maintaining clarity.

  9. "ramp up its efforts" -> "intensify its efforts"
    Explanation: Substituting "ramp up its efforts" with "intensify its efforts" provides a more formal and precise expression.

  10. "what seems to be at the core of former inmates recommitting crimes" -> "the underlying factor contributing to former inmates’ recidivism"
    Explanation: The proposed revision offers a more precise and formal expression, avoiding the use of "what seems to be" in favor of a more direct approach.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: "Most former inmates return to a life of crime largely because they find it extremely difficult to reintegrate into society."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The argument here is well-stated, highlighting the challenge of social reintegration. However, to strengthen this point, consider providing a specific example or anecdote that illustrates the struggles of an ex-convict trying to reintegrate into society. This personalizes the issue and makes it more relatable for readers.
    • Improved example: "Most former inmates struggle with reintegration due to societal challenges. For instance, a study highlighted the case of John, an ex-convict who faced consistent rejection in job interviews despite completing a rehabilitation program. This rejection left him without employment, leading to financial strain and a sense of exclusion, eventually pushing him towards criminal activities again."
  2. Quoted text: "The public seemingly still has a hostile attitude towards ex-convicts, even when they have been successfully rehabilitated."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: This statement effectively addresses societal attitudes towards ex-convicts. To further strengthen this point, consider expanding on how these negative attitudes perpetuate the cycle of crime. Link these attitudes to specific challenges or barriers faced by ex-convicts in seeking employment or societal acceptance.
    • Improved example: "The persisting hostile attitude of the public towards rehabilitated ex-convicts has severe repercussions. This negativity not only hinders their efforts to secure jobs but also creates psychological barriers, fostering a sense of exclusion and resentment. Consequently, many individuals find themselves pushed towards reoffending as they struggle to integrate due to societal prejudice."
  3. Quoted text: "Their success is mostly attributed to their focus on giving ex-prisoners a second chance at life by providing education, special job opportunities, and mental health counseling."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: This part effectively highlights the success of rehabilitation programs in reducing recidivism. However, it would be beneficial to mention how these specific elements – education, specialized job opportunities, and mental health counseling – play a crucial role in successful reintegration. Elaborate on how these components directly address the challenges faced by ex-convicts.
    • Improved example: "Norway’s successful approach lies in its emphasis on multifaceted support mechanisms. Education equips ex-prisoners with skills, specialized job opportunities ensure their integration into the workforce, and mental health counseling addresses the underlying issues contributing to their past criminal behavior. These components collectively provide a holistic approach to reintegrating ex-convicts into society."

Overall, the essay effectively identifies social reintegration challenges as a key factor in recidivism. To further bolster the argument, incorporating specific examples and elaborating on the impact of societal attitudes could enhance the depth and persuasiveness of the ideas presented.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information and ideas, presenting a clear progression throughout. There is a cohesive use of devices, although there might be some instances of underuse. Paragraphing is generally clear with a central topic in each paragraph. The essay effectively addresses the issue of social reintegration and proposes solutions.

How to Improve:
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider a more varied use of cohesive devices. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that ideas flow seamlessly from one to the next. Additionally, work on refining the balance of cohesive devices to avoid any potential underuse. Overall, maintaining this level of organization while diversifying cohesive elements will further strengthen the essay’s coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable command of vocabulary, using a diverse range of words with considerable fluency and flexibility. There is a sophisticated control of lexical features, and the writer skillfully employs uncommon lexical items to convey precise meanings. The essay is generally free from spelling and word formation errors, with only rare minor errors that do not impede communication.

How to improve: To enhance the Lexical Resource further, the writer could incorporate a few more advanced vocabulary choices to elevate the sophistication of the language. Additionally, paying attention to the precision of word choice and collocation, although already strong, would contribute to an even more refined expression. Keep honing the skill of using uncommon lexical items seamlessly to ensure accuracy and coherence throughout the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable command of grammatical structures and accuracy. It uses a wide array of sentence structures effectively, showcasing flexibility and precision in language use. The majority of sentences are error-free, with occasional minor errors that do not impede communication. The essay maintains a clear and coherent structure, employing complex structures alongside simpler ones to convey ideas proficiently.

How to improve: To enhance further, pay attention to minor errors that occasionally occur. Proofreading for precision could help eliminate these rare instances of inaccuracy and elevate the essay’s overall grammatical range and accuracy to a consistent excellence level.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is widely acknowledged that imprisonment is a frequently used strategy to address severe crimes. Recent research, however, reveals that a significant number of released criminals tend to engage in criminal activities once again. I believe the roots of this issue lie in the challenges ex-prisoners face when trying to reintegrate into society. To combat repeat offenses, it is crucial for the government to prioritize rehabilitation programs and awareness campaigns.

Many former inmates return to a life of crime mainly because they encounter great difficulty in reintegrating into society. The public often maintains a hostile attitude towards ex-convicts, even after successful rehabilitation. This stigma becomes evident in the way individuals with criminal records are frequently denied employment opportunities and subjected to insulting criticism for their past actions. Unemployment and social ostracization may lead them to harbor resentment against society, creating an environment conducive to further criminal activities.

To diminish the likelihood of recidivism, specific measures need to be implemented. Firstly, the government should launch campaigns aimed at reducing social discrimination against former convicts. Simultaneously, it is essential to establish rehabilitation and support programs to assist this group in finding employment and, more importantly, in feeling included in society. Norway, a country with the world’s lowest recidivism rate, has successfully adopted these strategies. Their success is attributed to providing ex-prisoners with a second chance through education, unique job opportunities, and mental health counseling.

In conclusion, the primary cause of former inmates returning to criminal behavior lies in the numerous challenges associated with their social reintegration. To address this, the government should intensify efforts to diminish social stigmatization and enhance rehabilitation and support systems. By doing so, the likelihood of a relapse into criminal activities can be significantly reduced.

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