Research indicates that nowadays some consumers are much less influenced by advertising than in the past. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Research indicates that nowadays some consumers are much less influenced by advertising than in the past. What do you think are the reasons for this?
Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In recent years, research has shown that the importance of advertising has decreased significantly, unlike the saturation of the past. This shift can be attributed to several factors. I believe this is a positive development, as it helps consumers focus on advertising that is relevant to their lives and prevents them from feeling overwhelmed.
There are countless reasons why individuals may be affected much less by advertising, but one of the main reasons is information overload. This means consumers are bombarded with a vast array of advertisements on TV and other media, which can lead to boredom and make them more likely to skip or ignore these advertisements. Moreover, skepticism among consumers can arise when advertisements often create exaggerated, unrealistic expectations or offer simplistic solutions to complex problems, resulting in consumer disappointment. Lastly, nowadays individuals have many chances to sort or control the content they access when they register for premium services, making them less afraid of disruption.
On the other hand, I believe this shift is a positive development for several reasons. Firstly, consumers can make informed decisions that depend on their actual needs or preferences instead of being dominated by advertising. Furthermore, the reduction of information overload can reduce consumer stress, making them more comfortable when browsing e-commerce sites. Last but not least, companies have to change their marketing campaigns to improve the quality of advertisements, not only providing genuine value but also creating high-quality products to suit consumers' demands.
In conclusion, the reduced effect of advertising helps people make better decisions without feeling pressured. It also makes companies focus on creating better products and honest advertising, improving the overall experience for customers.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "In recent years" -> "In the recent years"
   Explanation: Adding "the" before "years" corrects the grammatical error and aligns with formal writing standards by specifying the time period more precisely.

2. "the importance of advertising has decreased significantly" -> "the impact of advertising has diminished significantly"
   Explanation: Replacing "importance" with "impact" provides a more precise term that directly relates to the effect of advertising, enhancing the academic tone.

3. "unlike the saturation of the past" -> "in contrast to the saturation of the past"
   Explanation: "In contrast to" is a more formal and precise phrase than "unlike," which is somewhat informal and vague in this context.

4. "I believe this is a positive development" -> "This is considered a positive development"
   Explanation: Removing "I believe" shifts the sentence to a more objective, formal tone, suitable for academic writing.

5. "helps consumers focus on advertising that is relevant to their lives" -> "enables consumers to focus on advertising that is relevant to their lives"
   Explanation: "Enables" is a more formal verb than "helps," and the addition of "to" before "focus" corrects the grammatical structure.

6. "feeling overwhelmed" -> "feeling overwhelmed by"
   Explanation: Adding "by" clarifies the prepositional phrase, enhancing the sentence structure and readability.

7. "countless reasons" -> "numerous reasons"
   Explanation: "Numerous" is a more precise and formal term than "countless," which can be seen as vague and informal in academic writing.

8. "bombarded with a vast array of advertisements" -> "bombarded with a plethora of advertisements"
   Explanation: "Plethora" is a more precise and formal term than "vast array," which is somewhat colloquial.

9. "make them more likely to skip or ignore these advertisements" -> "increase the likelihood that they will skip or ignore these advertisements"
   Explanation: "Increase the likelihood that" is a more formal and precise way to express causality in academic writing.

10. "skepticism among consumers can arise" -> "skepticism among consumers may arise"
    Explanation: "May" is more appropriate than "can" in formal academic writing, as it implies possibility rather than certainty.

11. "nowadays individuals have many chances" -> "currently, individuals have numerous opportunities"
    Explanation: "Currently" is more formal than "nowadays," and "numerous opportunities" is more precise than "many chances."

12. "making them less afraid of disruption" -> "reducing their fear of disruption"
    Explanation: "Reducing their fear" is a more direct and formal way to express the effect on consumers.

13. "Firstly, consumers can make informed decisions" -> "Firstly, consumers are able to make informed decisions"
    Explanation: "Are able to" is a more formal expression than "can," which is slightly informal for academic writing.

14. "Last but not least" -> "Finally"
    Explanation: "Finally" is a more concise and formal transition than "Last but not least," which is somewhat colloquial.

15. "companies have to change their marketing campaigns" -> "companies must modify their marketing strategies"
    Explanation: "Must modify" is more forceful and formal than "have to change," and "strategies" is a more precise term than "campaigns" in this context.

16. "not only providing genuine value but also creating high-quality products" -> "not only providing genuine value but also producing high-quality products"
    Explanation: "Producing" is a more precise verb than "creating" in the context of manufacturing products, aligning better with formal business language.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt. It identifies reasons for the decreased influence of advertising, such as information overload and consumer skepticism, and discusses the positive implications of this shift. The response is well-structured, with clear sections dedicated to the reasons and the evaluation of the development. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit connection between the reasons and their implications, particularly in the second part of the question.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, explicitly link each reason for decreased influence to its positive outcome. For example, when discussing information overload, elaborate on how this leads to better consumer choices. Additionally, consider briefly acknowledging potential negative aspects of reduced advertising influence to present a more balanced view.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that the reduced influence of advertising is a positive development. This stance is consistently reinforced throughout the essay, particularly in the second half where the benefits are outlined. The use of phrases like "I believe this is a positive development" clearly signals the author’s position. However, the transition between discussing reasons and implications could be smoother.
  • How to improve: To ensure a seamless flow, use transitional phrases that connect the reasons for decreased influence to the positive outcomes more directly. For example, after discussing skepticism, you could transition into how this skepticism encourages companies to improve their advertising strategies.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several well-developed ideas, such as information overload and consumer skepticism. Each point is supported with explanations that clarify why these factors contribute to the decreased influence of advertising. However, some ideas could be further extended with examples or statistics to enhance their credibility and depth.
  • How to improve: Incorporate specific examples or case studies that illustrate the points made. For instance, when discussing how companies must adapt their marketing strategies, mention a specific brand that has successfully done so. This would provide concrete evidence to support the claims and make the argument more persuasive.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, addressing both the reasons for the decline in advertising influence and the author’s perspective on its implications. There are no significant deviations from the topic, which is commendable. However, the conclusion could more explicitly reiterate the main points discussed.
  • How to improve: In the conclusion, briefly summarize the key reasons and their positive implications to reinforce the main arguments. This will help to solidify the essay’s focus and leave the reader with a clear understanding of the author’s stance.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing reasons for decreased influence of advertising, and a conclusion. Each paragraph logically follows from the previous one, with the first body paragraph addressing the reasons for consumer indifference and the second focusing on the positive implications of this trend. However, the transition between the two main ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing reasons to the positive aspects feels somewhat abrupt.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect the ideas. For example, after discussing the reasons for decreased influence, a sentence like "This decline in advertising effectiveness not only reflects consumer behavior but also leads to significant benefits" could bridge the two sections more effectively.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph has a clear main idea, and the essay maintains a consistent focus within each paragraph. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from clearer topic sentences that explicitly state the main point before providing supporting details.
  • How to improve: Start each body paragraph with a strong topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. For example, in the second body paragraph, a topic sentence like "The decline in advertising influence fosters a more informed consumer base" would clarify the focus right from the start.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Moreover," and "On the other hand," which help to guide the reader through the argument. However, there is a tendency to rely on a limited range of cohesive devices, which can make the writing feel somewhat repetitive.
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate synonyms and alternative phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "Firstly" and "Moreover," consider using "In addition," "Additionally," or "Furthermore" for variety. Additionally, using more complex cohesive devices, such as "Consequently" or "As a result," can enhance the sophistication of the writing.

By addressing these areas, the essay can improve its coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms such as "information overload," "skepticism," and "genuine value." These terms effectively convey the writer’s ideas and show an understanding of the topic. However, there are instances of repetition, particularly with the word "advertising," which appears frequently. This could detract from the overall lexical variety.
  • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms or related phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "advertising," alternatives like "promotional content," "marketing strategies," or "commercials" could be employed. Additionally, incorporating more varied adjectives and adverbs would enrich the essay’s language.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments where word choice could be more precise. For instance, the phrase "making them less afraid of disruption" could be interpreted ambiguously; it’s unclear whether "disruption" refers to interruptions in their viewing or something else entirely. The use of "saturation" in the context of advertising is appropriate but could be better clarified to enhance understanding.
  • How to improve: To improve precision, ensure that terms are contextually appropriate and clearly convey the intended meaning. For example, instead of "disruption," consider specifying what kind of disruption is meant—perhaps "interruptions" or "advertising clutter." Additionally, providing definitions or explanations for less common terms could help clarify their usage.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words like "significantly," "exaggerated," and "preferences" are spelled correctly, contributing to the overall professionalism of the writing.
  • How to improve: While spelling is strong, it’s always beneficial to maintain this level of accuracy. Regularly practicing spelling through writing exercises or using spelling apps can help reinforce this skill. Additionally, proofreading the essay before submission can catch any potential errors that may have been overlooked.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resource with a band score of 7, there are areas for improvement. Expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision in word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy will further elevate the quality of the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of complex structures is evident in sentences like, "This shift can be attributed to several factors," and "Moreover, skepticism among consumers can arise when advertisements often create exaggerated, unrealistic expectations." These structures effectively convey nuanced ideas. However, there are instances where the sentence variety could be further enhanced. For instance, the phrase "making them less afraid of disruption" could be restructured for greater impact.
  • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases, such as "In addition," or "Conversely," to transition between ideas. Additionally, using more conditional sentences (e.g., "If consumers are less influenced by advertising, they may…") can add complexity and depth to your arguments.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits strong grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors. For instance, the phrase "which can lead to boredom and make them more likely to skip or ignore these advertisements" effectively uses parallel structure. However, there are punctuation issues, such as the lack of a comma before "which" in the same sentence, which can lead to confusion. Additionally, the phrase "Last but not least" is somewhat informal for an academic essay and could be replaced with a more formal transition.
  • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, review the rules for punctuation, particularly concerning clauses and conjunctions. Practicing the use of commas in complex sentences will help clarify meaning. Furthermore, consider replacing informal phrases with more academic alternatives, such as "Finally" or "Ultimately," to maintain a formal tone throughout the essay.

By addressing these areas for improvement, you can further elevate the quality of your writing and potentially achieve a higher band score in the Grammatical Range and Accuracy criteria.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent years, research has indicated that the impact of advertising has diminished significantly, in contrast to the saturation of the past. This shift can be attributed to several factors. I believe this is a positive development, as it enables consumers to focus on advertising that is relevant to their lives and reduces the feeling of being overwhelmed by excessive promotions.

There are numerous reasons why individuals may be less influenced by advertising today, but one of the main factors is information overload. Consumers are bombarded with a plethora of advertisements across various media, which can lead to boredom and increase the likelihood that they will skip or ignore these messages. Moreover, skepticism among consumers may arise when advertisements often create exaggerated, unrealistic expectations or offer simplistic solutions to complex problems, resulting in disappointment. Lastly, currently, individuals have numerous opportunities to sort or control the content they access, especially when they subscribe to premium services, which reduces their fear of disruption.

On the other hand, I believe this shift is a positive development for several reasons. Firstly, consumers are able to make informed decisions based on their actual needs or preferences rather than being dominated by advertising. Furthermore, the reduction of information overload can alleviate consumer stress, making them more comfortable when browsing e-commerce sites. Finally, companies must modify their marketing strategies to enhance the quality of their advertisements, not only providing genuine value but also producing high-quality products that meet consumers’ demands.

In conclusion, the diminished influence of advertising allows individuals to make better decisions without feeling pressured. It also encourages companies to focus on creating better products and honest advertising, ultimately improving the overall experience for customers.