Saving money is harder than it used to be. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons or examples to support your opinion.

I argee with saving money is harder than it used to be. At first, the cost of living is incresea every day like housing, healthcare and education. This make it harder to save money. Second, you can controls your hobby so it easy you spend your money for what thing you like our want to buy some cake or bubble tea.Finnaly, you want to be show that you rich so you alwalys pay bill for order people call you rich.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"I argee" -> "I agree"
Explanation: Correcting the typo "I argee" to "I agree" ensures proper spelling and maintains the formal tone of the essay.
"saving money is harder than it used to be" -> "saving money is more challenging than it was previously"
Explanation: Replacing "harder" with "more challenging" and "it used to be" with "it was previously" refines the language to be more formal and precise.
"the cost of living is incresea" -> "the cost of living is increasing"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling error "incresea" to "increasing" addresses a basic typographical error, enhancing the professionalism of the text.
"This make it harder" -> "This makes it more difficult"
Explanation: Changing "make" to "makes" corrects the verb agreement, and "more difficult" is a more precise adverbial form suitable for formal writing.
"you can controls your hobby" -> "you can control your hobbies"
Explanation: Correcting "controls" to "control" fixes the verb form, and changing "your hobby" to "your hobbies" is grammatically correct as it is likely referring to multiple hobbies.
"so it easy you spend your money" -> "so it is easy for you to spend your money"
Explanation: Adding "it is" corrects the grammatical structure, and "for you to" clarifies the prepositional phrase, making the sentence more formal and clear.
"for what thing you like our want to buy some cake or bubble tea" -> "on whatever you desire, such as cakes or bubble tea"
Explanation: Replacing "for what thing you like our want" with "on whatever you desire" corrects the awkward and informal phrasing, and "such as" is a more formal connector than "or."
"Finnaly" -> "Finally"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling error "Finnaly" to "Finally" ensures proper spelling and maintains the formal tone.
"you want to be show that you rich" -> "you want to demonstrate your wealth"
Explanation: Replacing "want to be show that you rich" with "want to demonstrate your wealth" corrects the grammatical structure and uses more precise language suitable for academic writing.
"you alwalys pay bill for order people call you rich" -> "you always pay bills to impress those who consider you wealthy"
Explanation: Correcting "alwalys" to "always" and "pay bill" to "pay bills" fixes spelling and grammar errors, and replacing "for order people call you rich" with "to impress those who consider you wealthy" refines the meaning and enhances the formality of the sentence.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address the prompt by agreeing that saving money is harder than it used to be. However, it lacks depth in exploring the reasons behind this assertion. The points made about the cost of living and social pressures are relevant but are underdeveloped. For instance, the mention of rising costs is too vague and does not provide specific examples or data to substantiate the claim. Similarly, the discussion about hobbies and social status lacks clarity and fails to connect effectively to the main argument.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the writer should provide specific examples or statistics related to the cost of living, such as average increases in housing or healthcare costs. Additionally, elaborating on how these factors directly impact saving habits would strengthen the argument. Including personal anecdotes or case studies could also enhance the response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay states a clear position at the beginning by agreeing with the statement. However, the clarity of this position diminishes throughout the essay due to grammatical errors and vague language. Phrases like "you can controls your hobby" and "you want to be show that you rich" confuse the reader and detract from the overall argument, making it difficult to follow the writer’s stance.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should focus on using straightforward language and correct grammatical structures. Clear topic sentences for each paragraph that reiterate the main argument can help guide the reader. Additionally, ensuring that each point logically follows from the previous one will strengthen the coherence of the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas but fails to extend or support them adequately. The points about rising costs and social pressures are mentioned but not fully developed. For example, the mention of hobbies leading to unnecessary spending is an interesting point but is not explained in detail, leaving the reader unclear about its significance in the context of saving money.
- How to improve: To effectively present, elaborate, and substantiate ideas, the writer should aim to develop each point with examples and explanations. For instance, discussing how specific hobbies can lead to overspending and providing examples of common expenses associated with these hobbies would enhance the argument. Additionally, using linking words and phrases can help in developing ideas more logically.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic but occasionally strays into vague statements that do not directly support the main argument. For instance, the idea of wanting to appear wealthy is relevant but is not sufficiently tied back to the main point about saving money, making it feel like an afterthought rather than a cohesive part of the argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance to the topic, the writer should ensure that every point made directly supports the thesis. Creating an outline before writing can help in organizing thoughts and ensuring that each paragraph contributes to the overall argument. Regularly referring back to the prompt while writing can also help maintain topic relevance.

In summary, to improve the essay and potentially raise the band score, the writer should focus on developing ideas more fully, using clear and correct language, and ensuring that all points made directly support the main argument regarding the difficulty of saving money.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 5

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear opinion that saving money is harder than it used to be, but the organization of ideas lacks clarity and logical progression. For instance, the points about the cost of living, controlling hobbies, and the desire to appear wealthy are presented in a somewhat disjointed manner. The transition from one idea to another is abrupt, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer should clearly outline the main points before writing the essay. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence that states the main idea, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on that idea. For example, the writer could structure the essay with an introduction, followed by a paragraph discussing the rising cost of living, another on personal spending habits, and a final paragraph on social pressures. This would create a more cohesive flow of ideas.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay lacks effective paragraphing. Currently, it reads as a single block of text without distinct paragraphs, making it challenging to identify where one idea ends and another begins. Each point should ideally be separated into its own paragraph to enhance readability and clarity.
- How to improve: The writer should use clear paragraph breaks to separate different ideas. For example, the first paragraph could introduce the thesis statement, the second could discuss the cost of living, the third could address personal spending habits, and the fourth could cover social pressures. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, which will help the reader follow the argument more easily.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates limited use of cohesive devices, which are essential for linking ideas and ensuring smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Phrases like "At first," "Second," and "Finally" are used, but they are not always effectively connected to the ideas they introduce. Additionally, there are grammatical errors that impede the clarity of the connections being made.
- How to improve: To improve the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "Moreover," "In addition," and "On the other hand." These can help to create a more sophisticated flow of ideas. Additionally, the writer should ensure that sentences are grammatically correct, as errors can disrupt the cohesion of the text. Practicing sentence variety and ensuring that each sentence logically follows from the previous one will also enhance coherence.

In summary, to achieve a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion, the writer should focus on organizing ideas logically, utilizing effective paragraphing, and employing a variety of cohesive devices to create a more fluid and connected essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 5

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary. Phrases such as "cost of living," "harder to save money," and "hobby" are repeated without much variation. While some relevant terms are used, the overall vocabulary lacks diversity and sophistication. For instance, the phrase "you can controls your hobby" could have been expressed with more varied vocabulary to enhance clarity and engagement.
- How to improve: To improve vocabulary range, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and more complex phrases. For example, instead of repeating "harder to save money," alternatives like "more challenging to accumulate savings" or "increasingly difficult to set aside funds" could be used. Additionally, exploring vocabulary related to financial management or consumer behavior could enrich the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, "you can controls your hobby" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The phrase "you want to be show that you rich" lacks grammatical accuracy and precision, making it difficult to understand the intended meaning. The use of "order people" instead of "other people" further detracts from clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and clarity of expression. For instance, "you can control your spending habits" would be a more precise way to convey the idea. Additionally, reviewing sentence structure and ensuring that verbs agree with their subjects will help improve overall clarity.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains multiple spelling errors, such as "argee" (agree), "incresea" (increase), "make" (makes), "easy you spend" (easier to spend), "our" (or), "Finnaly" (Finally), "alwalys" (always), and "bill for order people" (bill for other people). These errors significantly impact the readability of the essay and detract from the overall impression.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should practice proofreading their work before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help identify errors. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and regularly reviewing them can aid in improving spelling skills.

Overall, while the essay presents a relevant argument, the lexical resource is hindered by limited vocabulary range, imprecise usage, and spelling errors. By focusing on expanding vocabulary, enhancing precision, and improving spelling, the writer can significantly elevate their score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, lacking complexity. For instance, the sentence "At first, the cost of living is incresea every day like housing, healthcare and education" is a straightforward structure but does not include any subordinate clauses or varied constructions that could enhance its sophistication. Additionally, the use of phrases like "you can controls your hobby" is awkward and indicates a lack of grammatical variety.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should practice incorporating complex sentences that use subordinate clauses. For example, instead of saying "the cost of living is incresea every day," the writer could say, "As the cost of living increases every day, including expenses for housing, healthcare, and education, saving money becomes increasingly difficult." This not only adds complexity but also improves clarity.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder clarity. For example, "I argee with saving money is harder than it used to be" should be corrected to "I agree that saving money is harder than it used to be." The verb "agree" is misspelled, and the structure of the sentence is incorrect. Additionally, phrases like "you can controls your hobby so it easy you spend your money" contain subject-verb agreement errors and missing articles, making the meaning unclear. Punctuation is also lacking; for instance, there are no commas to separate clauses or list items, which can lead to run-on sentences.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement, proper verb forms, and sentence structure. Regular practice with grammar exercises and reviewing common mistakes can help. Additionally, incorporating punctuation correctly, such as using commas to separate items in a list or to clarify sentence structure, will improve readability. For example, revising "you want to be show that you rich" to "you want to show that you are rich" corrects the grammatical error and clarifies the intent.

Overall, to improve the band score, the writer should focus on expanding their range of sentence structures and ensuring grammatical and punctuation accuracy through careful proofreading and practice.

Bài sửa mẫu

I agree that saving money is harder than it used to be. At first, the cost of living is increasing every day, such as housing, healthcare, and education. This makes it harder to save money. Second, you can control your hobbies, so it is easy for you to spend your money on whatever you desire, such as cakes or bubble tea. Finally, you want to show that you are wealthy, so you always pay bills to impress those who consider you rich.