Schools should not force children to learn a foreign language, because some students don’t have a natural ability for languages. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Schools should not force children to learn a foreign language, because some students don’t have a natural ability for languages.

Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There is a school of thought stating that learning foreign language should only be optional to children owing to the fact that some of them do not have innate capability to learn another language. Personally, I strongly agree with the idea that learning a foreign language should be considered as nice to have rather than must have, but I am against the statement that learning a language is all based on natural ability.

There are multiple compelling reasons explaining why learning other languages should not be mandatory. Learning a foreign language is only compatible with ones who have to work directly with foreigners; however, it is just a small portion in the society, plus the fact that there exists different translating tools which could easily and properly translate any foreigner’s talks into their mother tongue. Instead of spending years learning a language and even without progressing, translating tools can yield the same results or even better in such a much shorter time.

However, even though I agree that learning a language is optional, I am not in favor of the idea that learning a foreign language is an innate ability. Learning any language should be the process of acquisition, application and mastery. Rather than thinking that it is totally the result of genes, spending time to expose oneself to the environment, triggering the acquiring process would be much better. A vivid example that can immediately weaken the importance of innate capability in learning language is when a Vietnamese child is placed into an environment in which English is the main language. That children would surely speak English fluently after sufficient exposure to that environment without having any knacks for English beforehands.

In conclusion, I support the statement that learning a language is not compulsory, but if saying that learning a foreign language is the result of genetic development, I would definitely oppose it.

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Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "There is a school of thought stating" -> "There is a prevailing opinion that"
   Explanation: "There is a prevailing opinion that" is more formal and academically appropriate than "There is a school of thought stating," which sounds somewhat colloquial and less precise.

2. "only be optional to children" -> "should only be optional for children"
   Explanation: Adding "for" clarifies the prepositional phrase, making the sentence grammatically correct and more formal.

3. "owing to the fact that" -> "due to the fact that"
   Explanation: "Due to the fact that" is a more formal and commonly used phrase in academic writing compared to "owing to the fact that."

4. "some of them do not have innate capability" -> "some individuals lack innate capability"
   Explanation: "Individuals" is more precise and formal than "them," and "lack" is a more direct and academic term than "do not have."

5. "considered as nice to have" -> "considered desirable"
   Explanation: "Desirable" is a more formal and succinct term than "nice to have," which is too colloquial for academic writing.

6. "must have" -> "essential"
   Explanation: "Essential" is a more formal and precise term than "must have," which is somewhat informal and vague.

7. "all based on natural ability" -> "entirely dependent on natural ability"
   Explanation: "Entirely dependent on" is a more precise and formal way to express complete reliance, enhancing the academic tone.

8. "ones who have to work directly with foreigners" -> "individuals who interact directly with foreigners"
   Explanation: "Individuals" is more formal than "ones," and "interact" is a more precise verb than "have to work."

9. "a small portion in the society" -> "a small segment of society"
   Explanation: "A small segment of society" is a more formal and precise expression than "a small portion in the society."

10. "there exists different translating tools" -> "there are various translation tools"
    Explanation: "There are various translation tools" corrects the grammatical error and uses more formal vocabulary.

11. "could easily and properly translate" -> "can effectively translate"
    Explanation: "Can effectively translate" is more direct and formal than "could easily and properly translate," which is redundant and less precise.

12. "spending years learning a language and even without progressing" -> "spending years learning a language without making progress"
    Explanation: "Without making progress" is a clearer and more formal way to express the idea of not advancing in learning.

13. "triggering the acquiring process" -> "initiating the learning process"
    Explanation: "Initiating the learning process" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than "triggering the acquiring process."

14. "knacks for English beforehands" -> "aptitude for English beforehand"
    Explanation: "Aptitude" is a more formal term than "knacks," and "beforehand" is grammatically correct compared to "beforehands."

15. "I would definitely oppose it" -> "I strongly oppose it"
    Explanation: "Strongly oppose" is a more formal and assertive expression than "definitely oppose," which is somewhat informal and less emphatic in academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear stance on whether learning a foreign language should be mandatory. The writer agrees that it should be optional, citing reasons such as the limited necessity for language skills in certain careers and the availability of translation tools. However, while the essay does touch on the idea that not all students have a natural ability for languages, it could benefit from a more thorough exploration of this aspect. The argument could be strengthened by discussing how different learning styles and environments can impact language acquisition, rather than solely focusing on innate ability.
  • How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the writer should explicitly discuss the implications of forcing language learning on students who struggle with it. Including examples of how mandatory language education could affect students’ motivation and self-esteem would provide a more rounded argument.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that learning a foreign language should be optional, with the writer expressing agreement in the introduction and reiterating this stance in the conclusion. However, there are moments of ambiguity, particularly when discussing the innate ability to learn languages. The phrase "I am against the statement that learning a language is all based on natural ability" could be confusing, as it seems to contradict the earlier assertion that some students may struggle with language learning.
  • How to improve: To enhance clarity, the writer should ensure that their position is consistently articulated throughout the essay. Using clear transitional phrases and summarizing the main argument in each paragraph would help reinforce the central thesis and avoid any potential confusion.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the optional nature of language learning and the role of innate ability. The argument about translation tools is relevant and well-supported, but the discussion on language acquisition lacks depth. The example of the Vietnamese child is a good illustration, but it could be further developed to show how environmental factors can influence language learning beyond just exposure.
  • How to improve: To effectively present and extend ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples and explanations. Incorporating statistics or studies that support the argument about the effectiveness of translation tools versus language learning could strengthen the essay. Additionally, discussing various educational approaches that cater to different learning abilities would provide a more nuanced perspective.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the debate about mandatory foreign language education. However, there are instances where the argument strays slightly, particularly when discussing innate ability without clearly linking it back to the main argument about the optional nature of language learning. The transition between agreeing that learning should be optional and discussing innate ability could be smoother.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that each point made directly supports the main argument. Creating a clear outline before writing could help in organizing thoughts and ensuring that each paragraph contributes to the overall thesis. Additionally, reiterating how each point relates back to the prompt would enhance coherence.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, but it would benefit from deeper exploration of ideas, clearer articulation of the position, and tighter focus on the prompt.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear stance on the topic, with an introduction that outlines the writer’s position and reasons. The argument is structured into distinct sections, with each paragraph addressing a specific point. For example, the first body paragraph discusses the practicality of learning a foreign language, while the second body paragraph counters the idea of innate ability. However, the logical flow could be improved; some transitions between ideas feel abrupt, and the relationship between points could be more explicitly stated.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences that summarize the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, linking phrases such as "Furthermore," "In addition," or "Conversely," can help guide the reader through the argument and clarify how each point relates to the overall thesis.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph has a central theme, making it easier for the reader to follow the argument. However, the second body paragraph could be more clearly delineated, as it introduces a counterpoint without a smooth transition from the previous idea.
  • How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that indicates what the paragraph will discuss. Additionally, consider adding a concluding sentence to each paragraph that summarizes the main point and reinforces its relevance to the overall argument. This will help maintain clarity and cohesion throughout the essay.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "however" and "rather than," which contribute to the flow of ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and the connections between sentences and ideas could be strengthened. For instance, the transition from discussing the practicality of language learning to the argument against innate ability could be smoother.
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For example, using "on the other hand" to introduce contrasting ideas or "for instance" to provide examples can enhance the clarity and flow of the argument. Additionally, consider using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas, which can help maintain coherence without unnecessary repetition.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, focusing on improving logical organization, enhancing paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will elevate the overall quality and coherence of the writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "innate capability," "compelling reasons," and "translating tools." However, there are instances where vocabulary choices are somewhat limited or repetitive. For example, the phrase "learning a foreign language" appears multiple times without variation, which can detract from the overall lexical richness of the essay.
  • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms or related phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly saying "learning a foreign language," you could use "acquiring a new language," "language acquisition," or "foreign language studies." This variation can make the essay more engaging and demonstrate a broader lexical resource.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains some precise vocabulary, such as "mandatory" and "acquisition," which effectively convey the intended meaning. However, there are instances of imprecise usage, such as "ones who have to work directly with foreigners," which could be more clearly expressed as "those who work directly with foreign clients" or "individuals in international roles."
  • How to improve: Focus on clarity and specificity in word choice. Review sentences to ensure that the vocabulary accurately reflects the intended meaning. For example, instead of "the fact that there exists different translating tools," a more precise phrasing could be "the availability of various translation tools." This not only clarifies the statement but also enhances the overall quality of the writing.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates good spelling, with no major errors that impede understanding. However, there are minor issues, such as "beforehands," which should be corrected to "beforehand." Additionally, "ones" should be "one’s" to indicate possession.
  • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading strategy. After completing the essay, take a moment to read through it specifically for spelling errors. Utilizing spell-check tools can also help catch mistakes, but be cautious as these tools may not always recognize context-specific errors. Regular practice with spelling exercises or quizzes can further reinforce correct spelling habits.

By addressing these areas—expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision in word choice, and improving spelling accuracy—the essay can achieve a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences such as "Learning any language should be the process of acquisition, application and mastery." and compound sentences like "However, even though I agree that learning a language is optional, I am not in favor of the idea that learning a foreign language is an innate ability." This variety helps to convey nuanced ideas effectively. However, the essay could benefit from more varied introductory phrases and transitions to enhance the flow between ideas.
  • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, consider incorporating more complex clauses and varied sentence openings. For example, instead of starting several sentences with "Learning," try using participial phrases or adverbial clauses, such as "Given the importance of communication in a globalized world, learning a foreign language can be beneficial." Additionally, using a wider range of conjunctions and transitional phrases can improve coherence and cohesion.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For instance, the phrase "the fact that there exists different translating tools" should use "there exist" to agree with the plural subject "tools." Additionally, the sentence "That children would surely speak English fluently after sufficient exposure to that environment without having any knacks for English beforehands" is awkwardly structured and contains a typo ("beforehands" should be "beforehand"). Punctuation is generally accurate, but there are instances where commas could enhance readability, such as before "however" in compound sentences.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to review subject-verb agreement and ensure that plural nouns are matched with plural verbs. Additionally, proofreading for awkward phrasing and typos will enhance clarity. Practicing sentence restructuring can also help in avoiding common grammatical pitfalls. For punctuation, familiarize yourself with the rules regarding the use of commas in complex sentences and the placement of transitional phrases to improve the overall readability of your writing.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy, enhancing both its effectiveness and clarity.

Bài sửa mẫu

There is a school of thought stating that learning a foreign language should only be optional for children due to the fact that some of them do not have the innate capability to learn another language. Personally, I strongly agree with the idea that learning a foreign language should be considered as nice to have rather than a must-have, but I am against the statement that learning a language is entirely dependent on natural ability.

There are multiple compelling reasons explaining why learning other languages should not be mandatory. Learning a foreign language is only compatible with those who have to work directly with foreigners; however, this is just a small segment of society. Additionally, there are various translation tools that can effectively translate any foreigner’s speech into their mother tongue. Instead of spending years learning a language without making progress, these translation tools can yield the same results or even better in a much shorter time.

However, even though I agree that learning a language is optional, I am not in favor of the idea that learning a foreign language is solely an innate ability. Learning any language should be the process of acquisition, application, and mastery. Rather than thinking that it is totally the result of genes, spending time to expose oneself to the environment and initiating the learning process would be much better. A vivid example that can immediately weaken the importance of innate capability in learning a language is when a Vietnamese child is placed in an environment where English is the main language. That child would surely speak English fluently after sufficient exposure to that environment without having any aptitude for English beforehand.

In conclusion, I support the statement that learning a language is not compulsory, but if it is said that learning a foreign language is the result of genetic development, I would definitely oppose it.