Scientists say that in the future humanity will speak the same language. Do you think this is a positive or negative social development.
Scientists say that in the future humanity will speak the same language. Do you think this is a positive or negative social development.
It is acknowledge that in the next few decades humans will share the same language. In my perspective, I believe this development will benefit our society.
Admittedly, the drawbacks of the trend towards speaking the same language are indeed evident. Chief of these is the loss of cultural diversity. The existence of many languages could be threaten by the dominance of a single language. This, result in a loss of cultural heritage, traditional customs and identities. However, this line of reasoning is not sound since this is only a small case. There are several ways to conserve historical values such as raise people awareness about the importance of culture to each people. For example, Netherlands has its own language which is Dutch, however, they use English as their main spoken language and still famous for having a dynamic, rich and flourishing culture.
Despite the negatives mentioned above, I insist that people all over the world sharing the same language is a welcome development for many reasons. The key benefit is that understanding and unity between people could be increased. Understanding is significant factor since it could foster a greater sense of global community and cultural understanding, reducing misunderstandings and conflicts based on language differences. Additionally, a universal languages could simplify education and resources sharing. Nowadays, there are many countries which cannot do education research due to their financial struggles. That’s why this would likely improve literacy rates by making educational materials and information accessible to everyone.
In conclusion, I consider humans speak the same language to be a positive social development overall because it offers many vibrant outcomes for the world’s economy and help reduce illiteracy among people.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"It is acknowledge" -> "It is acknowledged"
Explanation: The verb "acknowledge" should be in the passive form "acknowledged" to agree with the passive construction of the sentence, enhancing grammatical correctness and formality. -
"In my perspective" -> "From my perspective"
Explanation: "From my perspective" is the correct idiomatic expression, which is more commonly used in formal writing to indicate personal viewpoint. -
"Chief of these" -> "The primary among these"
Explanation: "The primary among these" is more precise and formal, improving the academic tone by specifying the ranking of the drawbacks mentioned. -
"could be threaten" -> "could be threatened"
Explanation: The verb "threaten" should be in the passive form "threatened" to match the passive construction of the sentence, ensuring grammatical accuracy. -
"This, result in" -> "This results in"
Explanation: "This results in" corrects the grammatical error by changing the comma to a period, making the sentence structure clearer and more formal. -
"raise people awareness" -> "raise people’s awareness"
Explanation: Adding the possessive apostrophe in "people’s awareness" corrects the grammatical error and clarifies that it is the awareness of the people that is being raised. -
"to each people" -> "to each person"
Explanation: "To each person" is the correct phrase, as "people" is a plural noun and should be used with a singular verb form "person" in this context. -
"Netherlands has its own language which is Dutch, however, they use English as their main spoken language" -> "The Netherlands has its own language, Dutch, but they predominantly use English as their spoken language"
Explanation: This revision clarifies the sentence structure and removes the informal transition "however," replacing it with "but" for a more formal tone. Also, "predominantly" is more precise than "main" in describing the usage of English in the Netherlands. -
"still famous for having a dynamic, rich and flourishing culture" -> "remains renowned for its dynamic, rich, and flourishing culture"
Explanation: "Remains renowned" is more formal and precise than "still famous," and removing the commas after "rich" aligns with the formal style of academic writing. -
"people all over the world sharing the same language" -> "people worldwide sharing the same language"
Explanation: "Worldwide" is a more concise and formal term than "all over the world," enhancing the academic tone of the essay. -
"understanding and unity between people could be increased" -> "understanding and unity among people could increase"
Explanation: "Among people" is the correct prepositional phrase for indicating a group, and "could increase" corrects the verb form to match the passive construction of the sentence. -
"a universal languages" -> "a universal language"
Explanation: "Language" should be singular when referring to a hypothetical, general concept, not a specific instance of language use. -
"That’s why this would likely improve literacy rates" -> "This would likely improve literacy rates"
Explanation: Removing "That’s" corrects the contraction to the full form "that is," which is more appropriate in formal academic writing. -
"help reduce illiteracy among people" -> "help reduce illiteracy"
Explanation: Removing "among people" simplifies the phrase and maintains the formal tone, as "illiteracy" is already a general term that encompasses the population.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Task Response: 8
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of humanity potentially speaking the same language. The author acknowledges the drawbacks, such as the loss of cultural diversity, and then counters this with the benefits of a shared language, such as increased understanding and unity. This balanced approach demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the author could provide more specific examples or data to support the claims made about the negative impacts of language loss. Additionally, elaborating on the positive outcomes with concrete examples from various cultures or societies could strengthen the argument further.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that the development of a shared language is beneficial, which is stated in the introduction and reiterated in the conclusion. However, the transition between discussing the drawbacks and the benefits could be smoother. The phrase "this line of reasoning is not sound since this is only a small case" could be clearer in articulating why the drawbacks are outweighed by the benefits.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the author should ensure that each paragraph transitions logically from one idea to the next. Using phrases that explicitly connect the drawbacks to the subsequent benefits would help maintain a cohesive argument. For example, stating how the benefits can mitigate the drawbacks would clarify the position.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the importance of understanding and unity, and the potential for improved literacy rates. However, some ideas are not fully developed. For instance, the point about the Netherlands could be expanded to include more about how the coexistence of languages has enriched its culture rather than just stating it has a dynamic culture.
- How to improve: The author should aim to elaborate on key points with more detailed examples and explanations. For instance, discussing specific educational initiatives that have succeeded in multilingual contexts could provide stronger support for the argument about improved literacy rates.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains largely focused on the topic of a shared language and its implications. However, the mention of the Netherlands could be seen as slightly off-topic, as it does not directly relate to the main argument about the benefits of a universal language.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that all examples directly support the central thesis. If using examples from specific countries, it would be beneficial to tie them back to the main argument more explicitly, demonstrating how they illustrate the broader points being made about cultural preservation and unity.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and presents a well-structured argument. With some refinements in clarity, development of ideas, and focus, the essay could achieve an even higher score.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both sides of the argument, and a conclusion. However, the logical progression of ideas could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing the drawbacks of a single language to its benefits is somewhat abrupt. The argument about cultural loss is introduced but not fully developed before moving on to the benefits, which could confuse readers about the overall stance.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that directly relate to the thesis statement. Additionally, ensure that each point is fully elaborated before transitioning to the next. For example, after discussing cultural loss, you could provide a more detailed transition that connects this point to the benefits of a shared language, perhaps by discussing how cultural understanding can coexist with linguistic unity.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the argument. However, some paragraphs could be better structured. For instance, the paragraph discussing the drawbacks could benefit from clearer internal organization, as the ideas presented feel somewhat scattered.
- How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that supporting sentences logically follow from it. For example, in the drawbacks paragraph, start with a strong topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea of cultural loss, then follow with specific examples and explanations. This will help maintain focus and clarity throughout the paragraph.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses some cohesive devices, such as "however" and "despite," which help to contrast ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and some transitions feel repetitive. For instance, the phrase "this, result in" contains a grammatical error and disrupts the flow. Additionally, the use of "additionally" and "for example" could be varied to enhance the essay’s cohesion.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "additionally," consider alternatives like "furthermore" or "in addition." Also, ensure that all cohesive devices are grammatically correct; for instance, revise "this, result in" to "this results in" for clarity. Using a mix of cohesive devices will enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices can elevate the overall quality and clarity of the writing.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "cultural diversity," "dominance," "heritage," and "global community." However, the vocabulary is somewhat limited in variety and sophistication. For instance, phrases like "many languages" and "a single language" could be enhanced with synonyms or more descriptive language to show a broader lexical range.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related terms. For example, instead of repeating "language," they could use "tongue," "dialect," or "lingua franca." Additionally, using more advanced vocabulary related to the topic, such as "linguistic homogenization" or "cultural hegemony," would demonstrate a higher level of lexical resource.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary use, such as "this line of reasoning is not sound since this is only a small case." The phrase "small case" is vague and does not clearly convey the intended meaning. Furthermore, "a universal languages" is grammatically incorrect, as "languages" should be singular ("a universal language").
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately reflects their ideas. For example, instead of "small case," they could specify "minor concern" or "less significant issue." Additionally, careful proofreading for grammatical accuracy will help ensure that vocabulary is used correctly.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "acknowledge" (should be "acknowledged"), "threaten" (should be "threatened"), and "this, result" (should be "this results"). These errors detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular spelling practice and utilize tools such as spell checkers. Additionally, reading extensively can help reinforce correct spelling patterns. A final proofreading stage before submission, focusing specifically on spelling, would also be beneficial.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a basic command of vocabulary, there is significant room for improvement in terms of range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By incorporating more varied and precise vocabulary and ensuring correct spelling, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "the drawbacks of the trend towards speaking the same language are indeed evident," which effectively conveys nuanced ideas. However, there are instances where sentence variety could be improved, such as the repetitive use of "this" at the beginning of sentences, which can make the writing feel monotonous.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "this," try rephrasing to use participial phrases or adverbial clauses. Additionally, integrating more compound-complex sentences could help convey more sophisticated ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For instance, the phrase "could be threaten" should be corrected to "could be threatened" to ensure proper verb form. Additionally, the phrase "This, result in a loss" should be revised to "This results in a loss" for grammatical accuracy. Punctuation errors, such as the missing comma in "For example, Netherlands has its own language which is Dutch," can lead to confusion and disrupt the flow of reading.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to review basic verb forms and ensure subject-verb agreement. Regular practice with grammar exercises focused on verb tenses and forms can be beneficial. For punctuation, consider revisiting the rules for commas, especially in complex sentences and when introducing examples. Reading the essay aloud can also help identify awkward phrasing and punctuation errors, allowing for smoother revisions.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, focusing on enhancing sentence variety and addressing grammatical and punctuation errors will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.
Bài sửa mẫu
It is acknowledged that in the next few decades, humans will share the same language. From my perspective, I believe this development will benefit our society.
Admittedly, the drawbacks of the trend towards speaking the same language are indeed evident. The primary among these is the loss of cultural diversity. The existence of many languages could be threatened by the dominance of a single language. This results in a loss of cultural heritage, traditional customs, and identities. However, this line of reasoning is not sound since it represents only a small case. There are several ways to conserve historical values, such as raising people’s awareness about the importance of culture to each person. For example, the Netherlands has its own language, Dutch, but they predominantly use English as their spoken language and remain renowned for their dynamic, rich, and flourishing culture.
Despite the negatives mentioned above, I insist that people worldwide sharing the same language is a welcome development for many reasons. The key benefit is that understanding and unity among people could increase. Understanding is a significant factor since it could foster a greater sense of global community and cultural appreciation, reducing misunderstandings and conflicts based on language differences. Additionally, a universal language could simplify education and resource sharing. Nowadays, there are many countries that struggle to conduct educational research due to financial constraints. This would likely improve literacy rates by making educational materials and information accessible to everyone.
In conclusion, I consider humans speaking the same language to be a positive social development overall because it offers many vibrant outcomes for the world’s economy and helps reduce illiteracy among people.