Society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose and can even be damaging. Do you agree or disagree ?

It is believed that a comprehensive prohibition of advertising in all forms brings about great values for society as a whole due to its uselessness or sometimes harmfulness. Nonetheless, I personally believe that it would be better to not put a ban on advertising for several reasons. In this essay, I will elucidate why implementing a ban on advertising is advocated by some and present my argument to support the opposite side.

There are compelling rationales explaining why people think applying a ban on advertisements will be a way to bring benefits to society. Firstly, some advertisements aim to manipulate consumers by highlighting the quality and strength of products or services, leading numerous individuals to make impulsive purchases. Therefore, many people tend to buy pieces of stuff that they do not need and even do not use these items after purchase. Furthermore, advertising is ubiquitous nowadays and children may encounter non-educational ones unintentionally which has a significant impact on cognitive development and healthy development of children.

Nonetheless, numerous positive aspects of advertising far outweigh the drawbacks in terms of disseminating information to target audiences and offering high-paying careers. To begin with, some useful advertisements can introduce high-quality products and good services to individuals who are in need. This can not only meet customers’ expectations but also solve their ongoing problems. On top of that, the advertising industry offers a lucrative job for individuals who are extremely passionate about creativity and entertainment. Consequently, these people can express their creative talent as well as gain financial stability by taking jobs in this promising field.

To sum up, while acknowledging some limitations, advertising is beneficial in many aspects. Therefore, adverts are not forbidden but governments should put advertisements under control and thoroughly assess them before permitting launching them on the market.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It is believed that" -> "There is a prevailing belief that"
Explanation: The phrase "It is believed that" is somewhat passive and can be replaced with a more assertive expression like "There is a prevailing belief that," which establishes a stronger tone without losing the intended meaning.
"great values" -> "significant benefits"
Explanation: "Great values" could be replaced with "significant benefits" to enhance the formality of the language while maintaining the emphasis on positive outcomes.
"Nonetheless" -> "However"
Explanation: "Nonetheless" is slightly informal for academic writing; "However" maintains a formal tone and signals a contrasting viewpoint effectively.
"pieces of stuff" -> "items"
Explanation: "Pieces of stuff" is colloquial; replacing it with "items" maintains formality and clarity.
"do not use these items after purchase" -> "do not utilize these items after purchase"
Explanation: "Use" is a bit casual; "utilize" is a more formal synonym suitable for academic writing.
"non-educational ones" -> "non-instructional ones"
Explanation: "Non-educational" can be replaced with "non-instructional" to convey the idea more formally and precisely.
"To begin with" -> "Firstly"
Explanation: While both are transition phrases, "Firstly" is more fitting for formal essays.
"high-paying careers" -> "lucrative professions"
Explanation: "High-paying careers" can be substituted with "lucrative professions" to convey the idea more formally and precisely.
"meet customers’ expectations" -> "fulfill customers’ expectations"
Explanation: "Meet" can be replaced with "fulfill" for a more formal tone without changing the intended meaning.
"ads are not forbidden" -> "advertising should not be prohibited"
Explanation: Replacing "ads are not forbidden" with "advertising should not be prohibited" enhances formality while expressing the same idea more precisely.

In academic writing, precision and formality often go hand in hand. Replacing informal or colloquial phrases with more formal and precise language helps to maintain a suitable tone while communicating ideas clearly.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Quoted text: "It is believed that a comprehensive prohibition of advertising in all forms brings about great values for society as a whole due to its uselessness or sometimes harmfulness. Nonetheless, I personally believe that it would be better to not put a ban on advertising for several reasons. In this essay, I will elucidate why implementing a ban on advertising is advocated by some and present my argument to support the opposite side."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The introduction effectively presents the writer’s position on the topic, which is commendable. However, consider providing a concise preview of the main reasons that will be elaborated in the subsequent paragraphs. This would enhance the essay’s coherence and guide the reader on what to expect.
- Improved example: "While some argue for a comprehensive ban on advertising, citing its perceived uselessness or harm, I contend that allowing advertising is essential for several reasons. In the following paragraphs, I will delve into the arguments supporting a ban and present counterpoints advocating for the continued existence of advertising."
Quoted text: "Nonetheless, numerous positive aspects of advertising far outweigh the drawbacks in terms of disseminating information to target audiences and offering high-paying careers. To begin with, some useful advertisements can introduce high-quality products and good services to individuals who are in need. This can not only meet customers’ expectations but also solve their ongoing problems. On top of that, the advertising industry offers a lucrative job for individuals who are extremely passionate about creativity and entertainment. Consequently, these people can express their creative talent as well as gain financial stability by taking jobs in this promising field."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: Your argument supporting advertising’s positive aspects is clear, but the examples provided lack specificity and depth. Consider providing more concrete and detailed examples to bolster your points. For instance, instead of stating "high-quality products," specify a product or service and explain how its advertisement benefits consumers.
- Improved example: "Moreover, advertisements play a crucial role in introducing innovative products such as eco-friendly technologies. These not only meet the rising demand for sustainable solutions but also contribute to environmental conservation. Additionally, the advertising industry fosters a myriad of opportunities for creative individuals, enabling them to showcase their talents in areas such as film production, graphic design, and digital marketing."
Quoted text: "To sum up, while acknowledging some limitations, advertising is beneficial in many aspects. Therefore, adverts are not forbidden but governments should put advertisements under control and thoroughly assess them before permitting launching them on the market."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The conclusion summarizes the main points effectively but lacks a strong call to action or a compelling reiteration of your position. Consider reinforcing your stance and providing a concise call to action for readers to contemplate.
- Improved example: "In conclusion, despite acknowledging the limitations of advertising, its multifaceted benefits make a compelling case for its existence. Rather than an outright ban, governments should implement stringent regulations to ensure responsible advertising practices. This way, society can continue to enjoy the advantages of advertising while minimizing potential harms."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a logical organization of ideas, maintaining a clear progression throughout. The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the argument. The essay uses cohesive devices, such as transitions and pronouns, appropriately, contributing to overall coherence. Each paragraph focuses on a central topic, contributing to the essay’s clarity and organization. The essay also balances the presentation of opposing views.

How to improve:
To further enhance coherence and cohesion, consider refining the use of cohesive devices for more seamless transitions. While the essay logically organizes information, ensuring a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs can elevate the overall coherence. Additionally, carefully proofread for minor grammatical errors to enhance the overall polish of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with an attempt to use less common lexical items. There is some awareness of style and collocation, contributing to the overall flexibility and precision of the language. The essay effectively conveys the writer’s arguments using appropriate vocabulary, with only occasional errors in word choice and spelling. The writer demonstrates a reasonable command of lexical features, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay.

How to improve: To enhance the Lexical Resource score, consider incorporating more sophisticated and varied vocabulary. While the essay already includes a decent range of vocabulary, expanding the use of uncommon lexical items and refining the accuracy of word choice can further elevate the lexical quality. Additionally, pay careful attention to spelling and word formation to minimize occasional errors, ensuring a consistently high level of lexical control.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a commendable range of structures, incorporating various complex sentence forms throughout the response. There’s a conscious effort to use diverse sentence structures, including conditional statements, complex sentences, and compound-complex structures. The control of grammar and punctuation is generally strong, evident in the use of subordinate clauses, appropriate connectors, and phrasing. There are several error-free sentences, showcasing a good command of grammar.

However, some minor errors in sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and word choice slightly impact the overall accuracy. These errors are infrequent and don’t significantly impede communication but are noticeable upon careful examination.

How to improve:
To elevate the score, focus on refining the accuracy by paying more attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence structure. Additionally, ensure a more consistent use of sophisticated vocabulary and precise word choices to enhance the overall coherence and sophistication of the essay. Proofreading for minor errors can significantly improve the accuracy and overall quality of the written piece.

Bài sửa mẫu

There is a prevailing belief that a comprehensive ban on advertising, in all its forms, would yield significant benefits for society as a whole, primarily due to its perceived uselessness or potential harm. However, I disagree with this perspective, as I believe that imposing such a ban would not be the optimal solution. In this essay, I will elucidate the reasons behind the advocacy for a ban on advertising and present arguments supporting the opposite stance.

Some argue that a ban on advertisements would be beneficial for society. Firstly, certain advertisements aim to manipulate consumers by emphasizing the quality and strength of products or services, leading individuals to make impulsive purchases. Consequently, people often buy items they neither need nor utilize after purchase. Moreover, the ubiquity of advertising, including non-educational content, can unintentionally impact children’s cognitive and healthy development.

Nevertheless, the positive aspects of advertising outweigh the drawbacks, particularly in terms of disseminating information to target audiences and providing lucrative job opportunities. Firstly, useful advertisements can introduce high-quality products and services to individuals in need, meeting their expectations and addressing ongoing problems. Additionally, the advertising industry offers lucrative careers for individuals passionate about creativity and entertainment, allowing them to express their talents and achieve financial stability.

In conclusion, despite acknowledging some limitations, advertising proves beneficial in many aspects. Therefore, advocating for a complete ban is unwarranted. Instead, governments should exercise control over advertisements, thoroughly assessing them before permitting their launch in the market.