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solution of air pollution

solution of air pollution

Thanks to this knowledge, they will be able to make informed decisions and practice environmentally friendly behavior.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "Thanks to this knowledge" -> "Thanks to this information"
    Explanation: "Information" is a more precise term in academic contexts than "knowledge," which can be vague and encompass a broader range of concepts.

  2. "make informed decisions" -> "form well-informed decisions"
    Explanation: "Form well-informed decisions" is a more formal and precise phrase, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.

  3. "practice environmentally friendly behavior" -> "adopt environmentally sustainable behaviors"
    Explanation: "Adopt environmentally sustainable behaviors" is more specific and academically appropriate, emphasizing the long-term nature of sustainable practices.

These changes refine the language to better suit an academic context, enhancing precision and formality while maintaining natural language flow.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 2

Band Score for Task Response: 2 – UNDER WORD

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay fails to address the prompt regarding the "solution of air pollution." It does not provide any specific solutions or discuss the issue of air pollution itself. The single sentence presented does not relate to the topic and lacks any contextual relevance to the prompt. There is no exploration of causes, effects, or potential solutions to air pollution, which are critical components of the task.
    • How to improve: To improve, the essay should begin by clearly defining air pollution and its impacts. Following this, the writer should outline specific solutions, such as reducing emissions, promoting renewable energy, or enhancing public transportation. Each solution should be explained in detail to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay does not present a clear position at all. The single sentence provided is vague and does not convey any stance or argument regarding air pollution or its solutions. Without a clear position, the reader is left confused about the writer’s viewpoint or intention.
    • How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should explicitly state their viewpoint on air pollution and its solutions in the introduction. This position should be consistently referenced throughout the essay, with each paragraph supporting the main argument. Using phrases like "I believe" or "It is essential to" can help clarify the writer’s stance.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks any developed ideas or supporting evidence. The single sentence does not present any arguments or extend any thoughts related to air pollution. There are no examples, statistics, or references to studies that could support a discussion on the topic.
    • How to improve: To enhance the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should include multiple paragraphs, each focusing on a specific solution to air pollution. Each idea should be elaborated upon with examples, data, or anecdotes that illustrate the effectiveness of the proposed solutions. This will provide depth and credibility to the essay.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay does not stay on topic as it does not address the prompt regarding air pollution solutions. The content is irrelevant and fails to engage with the subject matter, which is critical for a successful response.
    • How to improve: To stay on topic, the writer should ensure that every sentence contributes to the discussion of air pollution and its solutions. It may be helpful to outline the main points before writing the essay to ensure that all content is relevant and focused on the prompt. Regularly revisiting the prompt during the writing process can also help maintain topic relevance.

In summary, the essay needs significant expansion and focus on the prompt regarding air pollution solutions. By addressing each checklist item thoroughly, the writer can develop a more comprehensive and coherent response that meets the requirements for a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 3

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 3

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks a clear logical structure, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. For instance, the provided sentence does not connect to a broader context regarding air pollution solutions. There is no introduction or conclusion present, which are essential for framing the discussion and summarizing key points. The absence of a clear progression of ideas contributes to confusion about the main argument.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, start with a clear introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea related to solutions for air pollution, with a clear topic sentence at the beginning. Additionally, ensure that there is a logical flow from one paragraph to the next, using transitional phrases to guide the reader.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay does not utilize paragraphs effectively. The single sentence provided does not constitute a complete paragraph and fails to develop an idea fully. There is no separation of thoughts, which is crucial for clarity and readability. The lack of paragraphing results in a block of text that does not allow the reader to digest information easily.
    • How to improve: Implement a clear paragraph structure by dividing the essay into at least three paragraphs: an introduction, a body (or multiple body paragraphs), and a conclusion. Each paragraph should contain a main idea supported by relevant examples or explanations. For instance, one paragraph could discuss the role of government regulations in reducing air pollution, while another could focus on individual actions that contribute to environmental sustainability.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates minimal use of cohesive devices, which are essential for linking ideas and ensuring the text flows smoothly. The provided sentence lacks connectors or transitional phrases that would help relate it to other points about air pollution solutions. This absence of cohesive devices makes the writing feel disjointed and difficult to follow.
    • How to improve: To improve the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases, such as “firstly,” “in addition,” “however,” and “for example.” These devices help to clarify relationships between ideas and guide the reader through the argument. For example, when introducing a new solution, you might say, “One effective solution to air pollution is…” followed by an explanation or example. Additionally, ensure that pronouns and synonyms are used to refer back to previously mentioned ideas, enhancing cohesion throughout the essay.

Overall, to achieve a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion, it is crucial to focus on organizing ideas logically, using effective paragraphing, and incorporating a range of cohesive devices. This will not only improve clarity but also enhance the overall persuasiveness of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, particularly in the context of discussing solutions to air pollution. Phrases such as "informed decisions" and "environmentally friendly behavior" indicate an understanding of relevant terminology. However, the vocabulary used is somewhat limited and repetitive throughout the essay. For instance, the term "environmentally friendly" appears without variation, which could have been enhanced by synonyms or related phrases like "sustainable practices" or "eco-conscious actions."
    • How to improve: To enhance lexical range, the writer should incorporate a broader variety of terms related to environmental issues. Utilizing synonyms and related vocabulary can help avoid repetition and demonstrate a more sophisticated command of language. For example, instead of repeatedly using "pollution," consider terms like "contamination" or "degradation."
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The vocabulary used in the essay is generally appropriate for the topic, but there are instances where precision could be improved. The phrase "practice environmentally friendly behavior" is somewhat vague and could benefit from more specific examples or actions, such as "adopting renewable energy sources" or "reducing carbon footprints."
    • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should aim to provide specific examples or actions that illustrate their points. This can be achieved by using more descriptive language that clearly conveys the intended meaning. For instance, instead of saying "make informed decisions," the writer could specify what kind of decisions are being referred to, such as "choosing public transport over personal vehicles."
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay does not contain any spelling errors in the provided excerpt, indicating a good level of spelling accuracy. This is a strength, as correct spelling is crucial for clear communication and overall impression.
    • How to improve: While spelling is accurate, to maintain this strength, the writer should continue to proofread their work carefully. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises or using spelling apps can further enhance this skill. Engaging in reading activities can also expose the writer to correct spelling in context, reinforcing their learning.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and appropriate vocabulary usage, there is room for improvement in terms of expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision, and maintaining spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can aim for a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 3

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 3

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates limited use of sentence structures. The provided sentence, "Thanks to this knowledge, they will be able to make informed decisions and practice environmentally friendly behavior," is a simple complex sentence that relies heavily on a straightforward structure. There is minimal variation in sentence types, with a lack of compound or more complex sentences that could enhance the depth of the argument. The use of phrases like "Thanks to" indicates an attempt to use a variety of introductory clauses, but overall, the sentence structure remains basic.
    • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should incorporate a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences throughout the essay. For example, they could combine ideas using coordinating conjunctions (e.g., "and," "but") or subordinating conjunctions (e.g., "although," "because") to create more intricate sentences. Practicing sentence combining exercises and reading a variety of texts can help in understanding how to construct more varied and complex sentences.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The grammatical accuracy in the provided sentence is relatively sound, with no glaring errors. However, the overall lack of variety in sentence structures suggests that while the grammar used may be correct, it does not showcase a range of grammatical forms. Punctuation is used correctly in the sentence, with appropriate placement of commas. However, the essay as a whole may suffer from a lack of punctuation variety, as more complex sentences often require more nuanced punctuation.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on identifying common grammatical errors in their writing, such as subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and the correct use of articles. Engaging in targeted grammar exercises can help reinforce these concepts. Additionally, practicing punctuation rules, especially for complex sentences, will enhance clarity and readability. The writer should also consider reviewing their work for any overlooked errors and seek feedback from peers or instructors to identify areas needing improvement.

Bài sửa mẫu

Thanks to this information, individuals will be able to form well-informed decisions and adopt environmentally sustainable behaviors.

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