Some believe that it is better fot young people to grow up in cities, while others think that living in the countryside is more beneficial. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The debate over whether living in metropolises or rural areas is more pivotal continues to endure. The author asserts that urban living is of paramount importance for young adults, owing to the availability of adequate and innovative amenities.
On the one hand, there are several rationales advocating for city life, particularly when it comes to residents’ job prospects. Granted, the proliferation of urban areas naturally leads to a higher demand OF labour force, thereby creating numerous job opportunities for city residents. The implication of this is that young adults not only get more access to employment, allowing to gain more valuable experience but they can also swiftly attain career stability, which enables them to cover all daily expenses. Take a freshman who is eager to secure a part-time job as an example. It should be acknowledged that settling in cities can generally offer he or she plenty of chances to be employed by private businesses or tutoring centres. However, it should be noted that citizens are more likely to face intense competitiveness in the job market, significantly leading to work pressure and exhaustion.
Despite the aforementioned justification, advocates of rural living emphasize the benefits of clean air and a stress-free environment. That is to say, the countryside’s low population density results in fewer commuters and vehicles, thus producing lower levels of exhaust emissions and reducing risk of respiratory issues. Additionally, the low cost of living almost alleviates monetary issues, allowing individuals to lead a comfortable life without any financial concerns. Therefore, the rural lifestyle can offer a healthy and financially manageable way of living, which can considerablly enhance locals’ life quality and overall well-being.
The writer advocates for the cities’ provision of proper ammentities to meet the daily needs of young adults. This means that metropolises supply up-to-date facilities to ensure residents’ superior services, including medical treatment, education or recreational activities. For instance, teenagers benefit from advanced school facilities and comprehensive educational resources, contributing to their well-reounded development. Thanks to developed facilities, not only do urban areas improve young people’s living conditions but also positively impact their future prospects.
In conclusion, despite the ideal lifestyle with fewer concerns in the countryside, there is no doubt how living downtown plays an integral role in providing future prospects by giving a higher youth employment rate and advanced facilities. The way teenagers adopting and growing up in urban living condition has a profound influence on their comprehensive development.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"living in metropolises or rural areas is more pivotal" -> "living in metropolises or rural areas is more significant"
Explanation: The word "pivotal" is somewhat misused here, as it typically refers to something crucial or decisive. "Significant" is more appropriate for describing the importance of the choice between urban and rural living.
"The author asserts" -> "It is argued"
Explanation: "The author asserts" may imply a personal opinion, which can be seen as less objective in academic writing. "It is argued" is a more neutral and formal way to introduce an argument.
"adequate and innovative amenities" -> "sufficient and innovative amenities"
Explanation: "Adequate" can be vague and less precise; "sufficient" is more specific and academically suitable, emphasizing the sufficiency of the amenities.
"naturally leads to a higher demand OF labour force" -> "naturally leads to a higher demand for labor"
Explanation: "OF" is incorrect in this context; "for" is the correct preposition to use with "demand." Additionally, "labor" is the standard term in formal American English, whereas "labour" is preferred in British English.
"allowing to gain more valuable experience" -> "enabling them to gain more valuable experience"
Explanation: "Allowing to" is grammatically incorrect; "enabling them to" is the correct form, making the sentence more formal and clear.
"swiftly attain career stability" -> "rapidly achieve career stability"
Explanation: "Swiftly" is somewhat informal and less precise; "rapidly" is more formal and suitable for academic writing.
"cover all daily expenses" -> "meet all daily expenses"
Explanation: "Cover" is somewhat informal and vague; "meet" is more precise and formal, indicating the fulfillment of financial obligations.
"settling in cities can generally offer he or she plenty of chances" -> "residing in cities often provides numerous opportunities"
Explanation: "Settling" is less formal and slightly awkward in this context; "residing" is more formal and appropriate. "He or she" is also awkwardly placed; "it" is more natural in this context.
"citizens are more likely to face intense competitiveness" -> "residents face intense competition"
Explanation: "Citizens" is too broad and informal; "residents" is more specific and appropriate for the context. "Competition" is also more commonly used than "competitiveness."
"considerablly enhance" -> "considerably enhance"
Explanation: "Considerablly" is a typographical error; "considerably" is the correct spelling.
"metropolises supply up-to-date facilities" -> "metropolises provide modern facilities"
Explanation: "Supply" is less specific and can imply a more basic level of provision; "provide" is more precise and formal, suggesting a higher level of service.
"well-reounded development" -> "well-rounded development"
Explanation: "Well-reounded" is a typographical error; "well-rounded" is the correct term.
"The way teenagers adopting and growing up in urban living condition" -> "The manner in which teenagers adapt to and grow up in urban living conditions"
Explanation: "Adopting" is incorrect in this context; "adapt to" is the correct verb. "Urban living condition" should be pluralized to "urban living conditions" for grammatical correctness and clarity.
"The way teenagers adopting and growing up in urban living condition has a profound influence" -> "The manner in which teenagers adapt to and grow up in urban living conditions has a profound influence"
Explanation: See previous corrections for "adopting" and "urban living condition."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding the benefits of living in cities versus the countryside. The first part discusses the advantages of urban living, such as job opportunities and access to amenities, while the second part highlights the benefits of rural living, including a healthier environment and lower cost of living. The author provides a balanced discussion, which is essential for this type of prompt.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could include more specific examples or statistics to support the claims made about both urban and rural living. Additionally, explicitly stating the author’s opinion earlier in the essay could strengthen the response by clearly indicating which side is favored.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position favoring urban living, particularly in terms of job prospects and amenities. However, the position could be more explicitly stated in the introduction and conclusion. While the conclusion summarizes the advantages of city living, it could be more assertive in reinforcing the author’s opinion.
- How to improve: To maintain a clearer position, the author should explicitly state their opinion in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. Using phrases like "In my opinion" or "I believe" can help clarify the stance taken throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to both urban and rural living. For instance, it discusses job opportunities in cities and the health benefits of the countryside. However, some ideas could be more thoroughly developed. For example, the mention of "intense competitiveness" in the job market is a valid point but lacks further exploration or examples to illustrate its impact on young adults.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the author should aim to elaborate on key points with examples or anecdotes. For instance, discussing specific job sectors that thrive in urban areas or citing studies on health outcomes in rural versus urban settings could provide more depth.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the benefits of both living environments. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly focused. For example, the phrase "the way teenagers adopting and growing up in urban living condition" in the conclusion is somewhat vague and could be more directly tied to the main arguments presented.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that all statements directly relate back to the main argument. Avoiding vague language and ensuring that each point clearly ties back to the benefits of urban or rural living will help keep the essay on topic.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. By incorporating more specific examples, clarifying the position, and elaborating on key points, the author can further enhance the effectiveness of their response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the debate, followed by two main body paragraphs discussing the advantages of urban and rural living, respectively. The arguments are generally well-organized, with each paragraph focusing on a specific perspective. For example, the first body paragraph effectively discusses the job opportunities in cities, while the second highlights the benefits of rural living, such as clean air and lower living costs. However, the transition between the discussion of urban benefits and rural advantages could be smoother to enhance the overall flow.
- How to improve: To improve logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences that explicitly state the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, employing transitional phrases such as "On the contrary" or "In comparison" at the beginning of the second body paragraph could help to better connect the contrasting views and guide the reader through the argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph addressing a distinct aspect of the topic. The introduction and conclusion are also well-defined, framing the discussion appropriately. However, the third body paragraph, which discusses the amenities in cities, could benefit from being more clearly delineated as a separate point rather than being embedded within the discussion of urban advantages.
- How to improve: To enhance paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and is not overloaded with multiple ideas. For instance, consider splitting the third body paragraph into two: one focusing on the amenities available in cities and another discussing the impact of these amenities on youth development. This would create a clearer structure and allow for more in-depth exploration of each point.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "on the one hand" and "despite the aforementioned justification," which help to signal the progression of ideas. However, there is a noticeable reliance on certain phrases, and some transitions could be more varied. For example, the phrase "it should be noted" appears multiple times, which can detract from the overall fluidity of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, instead of repeating "it should be noted," consider using alternatives like "importantly," "notably," or "significantly." Additionally, using more complex cohesive devices, such as "in light of this" or "consequently," could enhance the sophistication of the writing and improve the overall coherence of the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents arguments in a coherent manner, there is room for improvement in the organization of ideas, paragraph structure, and the variety of cohesive devices used. By focusing on these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms such as "metropolises," "pivotal," "proliferation," and "exhaust emissions." These choices reflect an ability to use more sophisticated language, which is commendable. However, there are instances where simpler synonyms could have been used for clarity, such as "cities" instead of "metropolises" in some contexts, which could enhance readability.
- How to improve: To further improve, the writer should aim to incorporate even more varied vocabulary related to the topic. For example, using synonyms for "beneficial" such as "advantageous" or "favorable" could enrich the essay. Additionally, including idiomatic expressions or collocations related to urban and rural living could also enhance the lexical range.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally uses vocabulary effectively, there are a few instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "higher demand OF labour force" should be "higher demand FOR the labor force." Additionally, "allowing to gain more valuable experience" is awkward; it would be clearer as "allowing them to gain more valuable experience."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should review sentences for grammatical structure and ensure that prepositions are used correctly. A careful proofreading process can help identify these errors. Furthermore, practicing writing with a focus on sentence structure and clarity can aid in developing more precise vocabulary usage.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "fot" instead of "for," "amentities" instead of "amenities," and "considerablly" instead of "considerably." These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a proofreading strategy, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can help improve spelling over time. Engaging in regular writing practice, with a focus on spelling, can also contribute to better accuracy in future essays.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary, there are areas for improvement in precision and spelling. By focusing on these aspects, the writer can elevate their lexical resource score in future IELTS assessments.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and conditional clauses. For example, the phrase "the proliferation of urban areas naturally leads to a higher demand OF labour force" showcases the use of a complex structure. Additionally, the use of phrases like "it should be noted that" and "despite the aforementioned justification" indicates an ability to employ formal discourse markers effectively. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings and a lack of more sophisticated structures, such as inversion or varied clause placements.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more complex forms, such as conditional sentences (e.g., "If young people live in cities, they may benefit from…") or participial phrases (e.g., "Living in cities, young people can…"). Additionally, varying the placement of clauses within sentences can create more dynamic sentence structures, keeping the reader engaged.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that detract from clarity. For instance, the phrase "allowing to gain more valuable experience" is grammatically incorrect; it should be "allowing them to gain more valuable experience." Additionally, the use of "OF" in "higher demand OF labour force" should be "higher demand for the labour force." Punctuation is mostly correct, but there are some run-on sentences that could benefit from clearer separation or the use of conjunctions to improve readability.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions. A thorough proofreading process can help identify and correct such errors. Furthermore, practicing sentence combining techniques can help avoid run-on sentences and improve overall clarity. Reading more academic texts can also aid in understanding proper grammatical structures and punctuation usage.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a commendable level of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The debate over whether living in metropolises or rural areas is more significant continues to endure. It is argued that urban living is of paramount importance for young adults, owing to the availability of sufficient and innovative amenities.

On the one hand, there are several rationales advocating for city life, particularly regarding residents’ job prospects. Granted, the proliferation of urban areas naturally leads to a higher demand for labor, thereby creating numerous job opportunities for city residents. The implication of this is that young adults not only gain more access to employment, enabling them to acquire valuable experience, but they can also rapidly achieve career stability, which allows them to meet all daily expenses. Take a freshman eager to secure a part-time job as an example. It should be acknowledged that residing in cities generally offers him or her plenty of chances to be employed by private businesses or tutoring centers. However, it should be noted that residents often face intense competition in the job market, significantly leading to work pressure and exhaustion.

Despite the aforementioned justification, advocates of rural living emphasize the benefits of clean air and a stress-free environment. That is to say, the countryside’s low population density results in fewer commuters and vehicles, thus producing lower levels of exhaust emissions and reducing the risk of respiratory issues. Additionally, the low cost of living almost alleviates monetary concerns, allowing individuals to lead a comfortable life without financial worries. Therefore, the rural lifestyle can offer a healthy and financially manageable way of living, which can considerably enhance locals’ quality of life and overall well-being.

The writer advocates for the cities’ provision of proper amenities to meet the daily needs of young adults. This means that metropolises provide modern facilities to ensure residents’ superior services, including medical treatment, education, and recreational activities. For instance, teenagers benefit from advanced school facilities and comprehensive educational resources, contributing to their well-rounded development. Thanks to developed facilities, not only do urban areas improve young people’s living conditions, but they also positively impact their future prospects.

In conclusion, despite the ideal lifestyle with fewer concerns in the countryside, there is no doubt that living in cities plays an integral role in providing future prospects by offering a higher youth employment rate and advanced facilities. The manner in which teenagers adapt to and grow up in urban living conditions has a profound influence on their comprehensive development.