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Some children have to live at different places during their childhood because of transferable jobs from their parents. What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in different places in childhood on child development?

Some children have to live at different places during their childhood because of transferable jobs from their parents. What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in different places in childhood on child development?

Some minors have to change their living environment throughout their childhood since their parents possess transferable occupations. This essay attempts to shed light on the merits and demerits of this phenomenon before concluding that the latter are weightier.

On the one hand, migrating to various places during childhood could be advantageous to some extent. Firstly, children who have to live at different locations could have more experience to become a well-rounded person. Because of the difference in traditions and manners between each region, they are constantly exposed to cultural diversity, which allow them to learn to respect the differences and accumulate more knowledge about numerous alien cultures. Such knowledge could empower them to become more confident later in their adulthood. Secondly, accommodating in various places could assist juveniles in learning new languages. For example, a number of Vietnamese families immigrate to the US because of parents' job requirements. As a result their sons and daughters have to live and study in an english-speaking environment, thereby gradually helping them to develop a native accent, which children who just live in Vietnam can hardly possess.

On the other hand, staying in numerous locations could be fraught with pitfalls due to a host of compelling reasons. One rationale is that this activity could negatively affect children's academic performance. This is because each place has a different education system, constantly changing schools force young students to adapt to new curriculums and teaching methods, thereby greatly disrupting their studies and even resulting in the feeling of depression. Another justification is that having to change their living environment consistently could have an adverse bearing on children's mental health. Specifically, failure to form long-term and meaningful relationships due to relocation could lead to a sense of isolation, which could drain their confidence in both personal and professional lives. This, therefore, could make them more likely to contract severe mental problems such as mental breakdown or the instability of emotions.

In conclusion, although living in different locations could provide constant exposure to cultural diversity and optimal environments to learn languages, I would contend that the downsides this tendency has on children's learning outcomes and their mental health are more glaring.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "Some minors have to change their living environment" -> "Certain minors need to alter their living environment"
    Explanation: Replacing "Some" with "Certain" and "have to" with "need to" adds formality and precision to the statement, aligning it more closely with academic style.

  2. "shed light on the merits and demerits" -> "examine the advantages and disadvantages"
    Explanation: "Shed light on" is replaced with "examine" for a more direct and formal expression. "Merits and demerits" is replaced with "advantages and disadvantages" for a clearer and academically appropriate terminology.

  3. "weightier" -> "more significant"
    Explanation: Replacing "weightier" with "more significant" maintains the formal tone while using a more precise term.

  4. "advantageous to some extent" -> "beneficial to a certain degree"
    Explanation: "Advantageous to some extent" is replaced with "beneficial to a certain degree" for a more nuanced and formal expression.

  5. "children who have to live at different locations" -> "children who must reside in various places"
    Explanation: Replacing "have to live" with "must reside" enhances formality, and "different locations" with "various places" adds specificity.

  6. "difference in traditions and manners" -> "variations in traditions and customs"
    Explanation: Replacing "difference" with "variations" and "manners" with "customs" maintains a formal and precise language style.

  7. "which allow them to learn to respect the differences" -> "enabling them to cultivate respect for diversity"
    Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and formality, using "enabling them to cultivate" instead of "which allow them to learn to" provides a more sophisticated expression.

  8. "numerous alien cultures" -> "diverse foreign cultures"
    Explanation: "Numerous" is replaced with "diverse" for a more precise term, and "alien cultures" is replaced with "foreign cultures" for a more neutral and formal choice.

  9. "gradually helping them to develop a native accent" -> "aiding in the gradual development of a native accent"
    Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and using "aiding in the gradual development" enhances formality.

  10. "Juveniles" -> "Young individuals"
    Explanation: "Juveniles" is replaced with "Young individuals" for a more formal and widely accepted term.

  11. "staying in numerous locations could be fraught with pitfalls" -> "residing in various locations may pose challenges"
    Explanation: Replacing "fraught with pitfalls" with "may pose challenges" maintains a formal tone, while "various locations" is used for specificity.

  12. "compelling reasons" -> "significant factors"
    Explanation: "Compelling reasons" is replaced with "significant factors" for a more formal expression.

  13. "activity could negatively affect" -> "practice could have adverse effects on"
    Explanation: "Negatively affect" is replaced with "have adverse effects on" for a more formal and precise language choice.

  14. "constantly changing schools" -> "frequently changing educational institutions"
    Explanation: "Constantly changing schools" is replaced with "frequently changing educational institutions" for a more formal and detailed expression.

  15. "force young students to adapt to new curriculums" -> "require young students to adjust to new curricula"
    Explanation: "Force" is replaced with "require" for a more neutral and formal term, and "curriculums" is corrected to "curricula" for grammatical accuracy.

  16. "resulting in the feeling of depression" -> "leading to depressive feelings"
    Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and using "leading to depressive feelings" for a more formal expression.

  17. "adverse bearing on children’s mental health" -> "negative impact on the mental well-being of children"
    Explanation: "Adverse bearing" is replaced with "negative impact," and "mental health" is expanded to "mental well-being" for a more formal and precise language choice.

  18. "sense of isolation" -> "feelings of isolation"
    Explanation: "Sense of isolation" is replaced with "feelings of isolation" for a more precise and formal expression.

  19. "contract severe mental problems" -> "develop severe mental health issues"
    Explanation: "Contract severe mental problems" is replaced with "develop severe mental health issues" for a more accurate and formal choice.

  20. "mental breakdown or the instability of emotions" -> "mental breakdown or emotional instability"
    Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and using "emotional instability" for a more formal expression.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

  1. Quoted text: "Because of the difference in traditions and manners between each region, they are constantly exposed to cultural diversity, which allow them to learn to respect the differences and accumulate more knowledge about numerous alien cultures."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While the idea is relevant, the expression is somewhat unclear and lacks precision. It is essential to articulate the point more explicitly. For instance, specify how exposure to diverse traditions helps inculcate respect and offer concrete examples from personal experience or general knowledge to illustrate this point. Rewriting this for clarity: "Living in various regions exposes children to diverse traditions, fostering an understanding that promotes respect for differences. For instance, encountering different customs allows them to appreciate unique cultural practices, such as festivals or rituals."
  2. Quoted text: "As a result their sons and daughters have to live and study in an english-speaking environment, thereby gradually helping them to develop a native accent, which children who just live in Vietnam can hardly possess."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The argument about language acquisition is valid, but it lacks depth. It would be beneficial to elaborate on how developing a native accent can be advantageous and provide more nuanced reasoning. For instance, you can explain that a native accent might facilitate better communication and integration into English-speaking societies. Improving the expression: "Living in an English-speaking environment not only exposes children to a new language but also facilitates the development of a native accent. This linguistic proficiency can enhance their communication skills and foster a sense of belonging in English-speaking communities."
  3. Quoted text: "This, therefore, could make them more likely to contract severe mental problems such as mental breakdown or the instability of emotions."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point about mental health is pertinent but needs more development. Instead of using a broad statement, provide specific examples or scenarios illustrating how constant relocations may lead to mental health issues. For example, elaborate on the potential impact of a lack of stable friendships on a child’s emotional well-being. Improved expression: "Frequent relocations, leading to the inability to form lasting friendships, may contribute to mental health issues. The absence of stable connections can create a sense of isolation, potentially resulting in emotional instability or even mental breakdowns."

Overall, the essay covers the task adequately, addressing both advantages and disadvantages. However, enhancing the depth of analysis and providing more specific examples would contribute to a more thorough and convincing response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information and ideas with clear progression throughout. The introduction sets the stage by presenting the topic and the author’s stance. Body paragraphs present advantages and disadvantages coherently, supporting each point with relevant examples. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the author’s position.

Cohesive devices are used appropriately, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay. Transitional phrases like "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" guide the reader through contrasting ideas. Additionally, the essay employs cohesive devices such as pronouns ("this phenomenon") and conjunctions ("because of," "therefore") to connect sentences and ideas.

Paragraphing is generally effective, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. However, in the second paragraph of the disadvantages, the rationale is presented in a single lengthy sentence, which affects the paragraph’s logical flow.

How to Improve:
To enhance coherence, consider breaking down complex sentences into simpler ones, especially in areas where multiple ideas are presented. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to enhance the overall logical structure. Overall, the essay is well-organized, and minor adjustments can further improve its coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay falls within the Band 7 criteria for Lexical Resource. The candidate demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, using less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation. There are instances of effective word choices, such as "well-rounded person," "accumulating knowledge," and "adverse bearing." The essay attempts to convey precise meanings, and there is an effort to use a variety of vocabulary, although occasional errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation are present. For instance, "juvenile" could be replaced with "children," and there are minor spelling errors like "english-speaking" instead of "English-speaking." Overall, the candidate achieves a satisfactory level of lexical resource, allowing for flexibility and precision in expression.

How to improve:
To enhance the lexical resource, the candidate should strive for more accurate word choices and avoid spelling errors. Additionally, a wider range of vocabulary could be employed, especially in the introduction and conclusion. The essay would benefit from more sophisticated and varied language to elevate it to a Band 8 level. Careful proofreading is crucial to eliminate minor errors and enhance the overall lexical quality.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay showcases a variety of complex sentence structures that contribute to the overall richness of expression. There’s a successful attempt at employing a diverse range of sentence structures and vocabulary to articulate ideas effectively. The essay maintains good control over grammar and punctuation, leading to frequent error-free sentences. However, some errors and inaccuracies occasionally occur, impacting the fluency and precision of the argument. These errors, though present, do not significantly impede communication.

How to improve:
To elevate the score to a Band 8, focus on refining sentence structures further to enhance accuracy and fluency. Pay close attention to minor errors in grammar and punctuation, aiming for greater consistency and precision in expression. Additionally, ensure a more consistent application of varied sentence structures throughout the essay to amplify its depth and complexity.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some children experience frequent changes in their living environment due to their parents’ jobs that require relocation. This essay aims to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation, ultimately highlighting the heavier drawbacks.

On one hand, living in various places during childhood can offer certain benefits. Firstly, it exposes children to diverse cultures and traditions, contributing to their development into well-rounded individuals. They learn to respect differences and gain knowledge about various cultures, which can boost their confidence as they grow up. Secondly, residing in different places can help children learn new languages. For instance, Vietnamese families moving to the US for work might enable their children to immerse themselves in an English-speaking environment, gradually aiding them in acquiring a native-like accent, a skill challenging for those solely residing in Vietnam.

Conversely, frequent relocations can bring forth significant challenges. One reason is the potential negative impact on children’s academic performance. Adapting to different education systems and constantly changing schools can disrupt their studies, leading to stress and possibly depression. Additionally, the consistent change in living environment can adversely affect children’s mental health. Difficulty in forming lasting relationships due to frequent moves may result in feelings of isolation, affecting their confidence both personally and professionally. This could make them more susceptible to severe mental health issues such as emotional instability or breakdowns.

In conclusion, while living in diverse locations offers exposure to cultural diversity and language learning opportunities, the adverse effects on children’s academic performance and mental well-being outweigh these advantages.

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