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Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks, and motorcycles are banned from the city center. Public transportation like buses, taxis, and metros are advised. To what extent do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks, and motorcycles are banned from the city center. Public transportation like buses, taxis, and metros are advised. To what extent do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

As people have raised their awareness about environmental protection, some cities worldwide decide to implement vehicle-free day policy, which encourages people to use public transportation while banning the usage of private ones such as trucks, cars, and motorcycles. I believe the benefits of this approach can outweigh its drawbacks.
Some people might mention inflexibility and time-consuming as a downside of this policy. To be specific, some public vehicle could have a fixed schedule, causing difficulties to those who need to travel at worktime or have to do things in a hurry. In addition, some buses take times to move to different destinations, hence resulting in the waiting time between stations. However, this could be solved by advanced preparation from the passengers. Bus company would usually have schedule on their website or in public space like waiting station, therefore, helping people to track their desired routes or directions. Moreover, when people have done research for their routes, they would likely estimate how long it would take to arrive at their destinations.
The positive environmental impacts is also another points that worth mentioning. Firstly, the carbon emission can be reduced. When more people opt for buses and taxis, the number of private vehicle would reduce, thereby lowering the toxic air waste. For example, some countries which have carried out this approach has been recorded the plummet in carbon waste in the atmosphere. Secondly, choosing public transportation over private ones could also help to reduce the burden on natural resources. Most vehicle these days are running on petrol because of its efficiency and low cost. With this policy put into practice, there will be fewer transports that would use this resource, thus help to eliminate a facet that could contribute to resource shortage.
In conclusion, using vehicle-free day policy would offer numerous benefits such as the outstanding good environmental effects and people's awareness about their intended travelling. In the future, there should be more countries and communities in the world which encourage this approach and it would help our environment and living space more sustainable.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "As people have raised their awareness about environmental protection" -> "As public consciousness regarding environmental protection has increased"
    Explanation: Replacing "people have raised their awareness" with "public consciousness regarding environmental protection has increased" adds formality and clarity to the statement, aligning it better with academic style.

  2. "some cities worldwide decide to implement vehicle-free day policy" -> "some cities worldwide have opted to implement a vehicle-free day policy"
    Explanation: Using "decide to implement" can be replaced with "have opted to implement" for a more formal and precise expression of the action taken by cities.

  3. "which encourages people to use public transportation while banning the usage of private ones" -> "which promotes the use of public transportation while prohibiting the use of private vehicles"
    Explanation: "Encourages people to use" can be replaced with "promotes the use of" for a more formal tone, and "usage of private ones" can be replaced with "use of private vehicles" for clarity and precision.

  4. "I believe the benefits of this approach can outweigh its drawbacks" -> "I contend that the benefits of this approach outweigh its drawbacks"
    Explanation: Replacing "I believe" with "I contend" adds a stronger assertion to the statement. Additionally, "outweigh" is a more formal and precise alternative to "can outweigh."

  5. "Some people might mention inflexibility and time-consuming as a downside of this policy" -> "Some individuals may cite inflexibility and time consumption as drawbacks of this policy"
    Explanation: Using "mention" can be replaced with "cite" for a more formal expression. "Downside" can be replaced with "drawbacks" for greater precision.

  6. "To be specific" -> "Specifically"
    Explanation: "To be specific" can be replaced with "specifically" for a smoother transition and a more concise expression.

  7. "some public vehicle could have a fixed schedule" -> "certain public vehicles may operate on fixed schedules"
    Explanation: Replacing "could have" with "may operate on" adds certainty and formality to the statement. Also, "vehicle" should be pluralized to "vehicles."

  8. "difficulties to those who need to travel at worktime or have to do things in a hurry" -> "challenges for individuals who need to commute during peak hours or have time constraints"
    Explanation: "Difficulties to those" can be replaced with "challenges for individuals" for a more formal expression. "Worktime" can be replaced with "peak hours" for clarity and precision.

  9. "some buses take times to move to different destinations" -> "some buses may have longer travel times between destinations"
    Explanation: Replacing "take times to move" with "may have longer travel times" maintains formality and clarity.

  10. "when people have done research for their routes" -> "when individuals have researched their routes"
    Explanation: "Done research" can be replaced with "researched" for brevity and formality.

  11. "The positive environmental impacts is also another points that worth mentioning" -> "The positive environmental impacts are also noteworthy"
    Explanation: "Is also another points that worth mentioning" should be corrected to "are also noteworthy" for subject-verb agreement and clarity.

  12. "Firstly, the carbon emission can be reduced" -> "Firstly, carbon emissions can be reduced"
    Explanation: "The carbon emission" should be corrected to "carbon emissions" for proper noun-verb agreement.

  13. "the number of private vehicle would reduce" -> "the number of private vehicles would decrease"
    Explanation: "Vehicle" should be pluralized to "vehicles" for proper subject-verb agreement.

  14. "therefore, helping people to track their desired routes or directions" -> "thereby assisting people in tracking their desired routes or directions"
    Explanation: "Therefore, helping" can be replaced with "thereby assisting" for a more formal expression.

  15. "Moreover, when people have done research for their routes" -> "Moreover, when individuals have researched their routes"
    Explanation: "Done research" can be replaced with "researched" for formality and conciseness.

  16. "In conclusion, using vehicle-free day policy would offer numerous benefits" -> "In conclusion, implementing a vehicle-free day policy would yield numerous benefits"
    Explanation: "Using vehicle-free day policy" can be replaced with "implementing a vehicle-free day policy" for clarity and precision.

  17. "more countries and communities in the world which encourage this approach" -> "more countries and communities worldwide that promote this approach"
    Explanation: "Which encourage this approach" should be corrected to "that promote this approach" for clarity and precision.

  18. "and it would help our environment and living space more sustainable" -> "and it would contribute to making our environment and living space more sustainable"
    Explanation: "Help" can be replaced with "contribute to making" for a stronger statement. Additionally, "sustainable" should be modified to "more sustainable" for clarity and emphasis.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both sides of the question. It discusses the advantages (reduction in carbon emissions, awareness of environmental issues, potential for better urban living) and briefly touches upon the disadvantages (inflexibility of public transport schedules, longer travel times).

    • The essay presents the advantages more comprehensively, suggesting that the benefits of the policy outweigh the drawbacks. However, the discussion of disadvantages could be further developed with specific examples and deeper analysis.

    • How to improve: To enhance the response, ensure each part of the question is fully explored. For instance, discuss in more detail the potential drawbacks such as inconvenience due to fixed schedules and waiting times. Providing specific examples or citing studies would strengthen the argument.

  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance throughout, asserting that the benefits of vehicle-free days outweigh the drawbacks. The position is articulated clearly in the introduction and reiterated in the conclusion.

    • The essay could further reinforce this stance by directly addressing and rebutting potential counterarguments, adding depth to the argumentation.

    • How to improve: Strengthen the clarity and consistency of the position by explicitly acknowledging and refuting counterarguments. This can demonstrate a nuanced understanding of the topic and enhance the persuasive impact of the essay.

  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas with some development but lacks depth in elaboration and support. For instance, while discussing environmental impacts, it mentions reduced carbon emissions and resource conservation but does not delve deeply into these points with statistical evidence or detailed examples.

    • Ideas could be extended by providing concrete examples, statistical data, or real-life case studies to bolster arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

    • How to improve: To enhance idea presentation, provide more detailed examples and evidence. This can strengthen the persuasive impact and credibility of the essay, making arguments more convincing and compelling.

  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic by addressing the advantages and disadvantages of vehicle-free days. However, there are areas where the discussion could be more focused and directly related to the prompt.

    • The essay briefly touches on issues like public transport schedules and waiting times, which are relevant but could be more tightly connected to the central argument.

    • How to improve: Maintain a sharp focus on the prompt throughout the essay. Ensure that each point directly contributes to the overall argument about whether the benefits outweigh the drawbacks of vehicle-free days.

Overall, while the essay effectively presents a position and discusses the advantages of vehicle-free days, there is room for improvement in depth of analysis, use of supporting evidence, and maintaining a laser focus on the prompt’s requirements. Strengthening these areas will elevate the coherence and persuasiveness of the essay, potentially raising its score in the Task Response criteria.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of information. It begins with an introduction that presents the topic and the writer’s stance clearly. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, addressing both advantages and potential disadvantages of the vehicle-free day policy. However, there are some instances where the flow could be improved, such as the transition between discussing disadvantages and advantages. The paragraph discussing disadvantages could be more effectively linked to the subsequent paragraph discussing advantages to create a smoother transition and enhance coherence.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas and guide the reader through the essay. For example, phrases like "On the other hand," or "Moreover," can help signal shifts between discussing different aspects of the topic.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs to structure the discussion, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct point. However, some paragraphs could be further developed or divided to improve clarity and coherence. For instance, the paragraph discussing potential disadvantages could be split into two separate paragraphs—one addressing flexibility issues and the other discussing waiting times for public transportation. This would allow for a more focused and organized presentation of ideas.
    • How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph. Develop each point thoroughly within the paragraph and consider breaking longer paragraphs into smaller ones to improve readability and coherence.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices to connect ideas and maintain coherence. For example, transitional phrases like "To be specific," "Moreover," and "In conclusion," are used to signal shifts between different points. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the types of cohesive devices used and ensuring their effective placement throughout the essay. Additionally, the essay could benefit from more varied sentence structures to enhance cohesion and readability.
    • How to improve: Expand the range of cohesive devices used, including conjunctions, transitional phrases, pronouns, and repetition where appropriate. Pay attention to the placement of these devices to ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Vary sentence structures to avoid monotony and engage the reader’s interest.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a coherent structure and logical organization of ideas, there are opportunities for improvement in enhancing the flow between paragraphs, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying the use of cohesive devices. By addressing these areas, the essay could achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, contributing to a more effective and engaging argument presentation.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of vocabulary throughout, showcasing the writer’s ability to express ideas using diverse lexical choices. For instance, phrases like "environmental protection," "carbon emission," "plummet," "sustainable," and "resource shortage" contribute to the richness of vocabulary.
    • How to improve: While the essay already utilizes a wide range of vocabulary, incorporating more sophisticated and nuanced terms related to environmental issues and urban planning could further enhance the lexical variety. Additionally, ensuring the accurate usage of advanced vocabulary in context will strengthen the essay’s overall lexical resource.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with reasonable precision. However, there are instances where words could be more precisely chosen or where the meaning might be slightly unclear. For example, the phrase "outstanding good environmental effects" could be replaced with a more precise term like "significant environmental benefits," enhancing clarity and sophistication.
    • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should carefully consider the suitability of each word in conveying the intended meaning. Using specific terminology relevant to the topic, such as "environmental conservation" or "carbon footprint reduction," can enhance precision and effectiveness in conveying ideas.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a moderate level of spelling accuracy. While most words are spelled correctly, there are instances of minor spelling errors, such as "worktime" instead of "work time" and "plummet" instead of "plummeted."
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, proofreading the essay carefully before submission is crucial. Additionally, utilizing spell-check tools or seeking feedback from peers can help identify and correct spelling errors effectively. Developing a habit of revising written work for spelling accuracy will contribute to overall improvement in this aspect.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate variety of sentence structures. Simple, compound, and complex sentences are utilized throughout the essay. For instance, simple sentences like "Some people might mention inflexibility and time-consuming as a downside of this policy" are used alongside more complex constructions such as "Moreover, when people have done research for their routes, they would likely estimate how long it would take to arrive at their destinations." However, there is room for improvement in the diversity of sentence structures to enhance the overall coherence and sophistication of the essay.
    • How to improve: To enhance the richness of expression and coherence, consider incorporating a broader range of sentence structures. This can be achieved by using techniques such as varying sentence lengths, employing subordinate clauses, and integrating rhetorical devices like parallelism or inversion where appropriate. Additionally, strive for more intricate sentence constructions to convey complex ideas with precision and clarity.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of grammatical accuracy, with occasional errors in verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. For example, in the sentence "The positive environmental impacts is also another points that worth mentioning," the correct form should be "are also other points worth mentioning." Additionally, there are minor punctuation errors, such as missing commas before introductory phrases ("Firstly, the carbon emission can be reduced") and inconsistent capitalization ("Bus company" should be capitalized as "Bus Company").
    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it is essential to review and revise sentences for errors in verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Proofreading carefully can help identify and correct punctuation errors, ensuring clarity and coherence in the essay. Utilize resources such as grammar guides and practice exercises to reinforce grammar rules and improve punctuation skills. Additionally, consider seeking feedback from peers or instructors to identify recurring grammatical issues and areas for improvement.

Bài sửa mẫu

As public awareness regarding environmental protection has increased, some cities worldwide have opted to implement vehicle-free days, which promote the use of public transportation while prohibiting private vehicles like cars, trucks, and motorcycles from entering city centers. I contend that the benefits of this approach outweigh its drawbacks.

Some individuals may cite inflexibility and time consumption as drawbacks of this policy. Specifically, certain public vehicles operate on fixed schedules, posing challenges for individuals who need to commute during peak hours or have time constraints. Moreover, some buses may have longer travel times between destinations, resulting in increased waiting times between stations. However, these issues can be mitigated through advanced planning by passengers. Bus companies typically provide schedules on their websites or at waiting stations, enabling people to track their desired routes or directions. Additionally, with proper research, individuals can estimate their travel times more accurately.

The positive environmental impacts are also noteworthy. Firstly, carbon emissions can be reduced when the number of private vehicles decreases. This, in turn, helps to lower toxic air pollution. For instance, countries that have implemented this policy have seen significant reductions in carbon emissions. Secondly, opting for public transportation over private vehicles can alleviate the burden on natural resources. Most vehicles today run on petrol, which can contribute to resource shortages. By encouraging public transport, we can reduce the consumption of these resources.

In conclusion, implementing a vehicle-free day policy would yield numerous benefits, including significant environmental improvements and heightened awareness among travelers. It is essential that more countries and communities worldwide adopt this approach to contribute to a more sustainable environment and living space.

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