Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweight the disadvantages
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweight the disadvantages
Thesedays, some people think that childrent should be learn a new language when starting from 6 year old to 10 year old, and some opinions disagree with this view beacause who believe the good time for second language beside mothertone in secondary schools. In my opinion, there are many positives as well as negatives if childrent is learnt foreign language in chillhood.
Firstly, in each countries, parents always encourage childrent's to learing languages, especially, in a family have nationalities, for example, the childrent can own two nationalities if father's is England and mother's is Vietnam, the childrent can talked by English or Vietnamese, so, the childrent need learning all language to communication withy their family. Secondly, studying a new language creates many opportunities job for childrent in the future because childrent become a citizen global and take areas, for instance, a teenager live in Ho Chi Minh City but who can finish a task for company of America throught online working and using English to work exchange.
Thirdly, althought many evidences shows that quite babies easier acquire knowledges when a child, however, a child can enjoy a orther language if who have a best community environment, for example, a baby living together with parent is Vietnam and England, certainly, the childrent will talk English rather a baby has Vietnamese parent . Finally, a primary thing when learning language is harding, trying everydays and more pratice beacause of improving confident, or quick reflexess.
In conclusion, studying language bring many benefits for human life, particular chilrent, teenagers, young generation as well as oldest, but it depends on different elements like concentration, finance conditions, community environment.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
-
"Thesedays" -> "These days"
Explanation: "Thesedays" is a typographical error. Correcting it to "These days" maintains the intended meaning and adheres to standard English spelling. -
"childrent" -> "children"
Explanation: "Childrent" is a typographical error and incorrect usage. "Children" is the correct form of the noun. -
"learn a new language" -> "learn a foreign language"
Explanation: "Learn a new language" is somewhat vague and informal. "Learn a foreign language" is more precise and appropriate in an academic context. -
"starting from 6 year old to 10 year old" -> "from the age of 6 to 10"
Explanation: "Starting from 6 year old to 10 year old" is awkward and informal. "From the age of 6 to 10" is more formal and clear. -
"beacause" -> "because"
Explanation: "Beacause" is a typographical error. Correcting it to "because" fixes the spelling. -
"mothertone" -> "mother tongue"
Explanation: "Mothertone" is a typographical error and incorrect term. "Mother tongue" is the correct term for the language spoken at home. -
"childrent is learnt" -> "children are learning"
Explanation: "Childrent is learnt" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Children are learning" corrects the verb tense and subject-verb agreement. -
"chillhood" -> "childhood"
Explanation: "Chillhood" is a typographical error. Correcting it to "childhood" fixes the spelling. -
"learing" -> "learning"
Explanation: "Learing" is a typographical error. Correcting it to "learning" fixes the spelling. -
"talked by" -> "speaking"
Explanation: "Talked by" is incorrect. "Speaking" is the correct verb form for describing language use. -
"communication withy" -> "communication with"
Explanation: "Withy" is a typographical error. Correcting it to "with" fixes the spelling. -
"take areas" -> "take on roles"
Explanation: "Take areas" is unclear and incorrect. "Take on roles" is a more appropriate and clear expression. -
"a teenager live in Ho Chi Minh City but who can finish a task for company of America throught online working and using English to work exchange" -> "a teenager living in Ho Chi Minh City can complete tasks for American companies through online work and using English"
Explanation: The original sentence is convoluted and grammatically incorrect. The revised version clarifies the meaning and corrects the grammar. -
"althought" -> "although"
Explanation: "Althought" is a typographical error. Correcting it to "although" fixes the spelling. -
"a orther language" -> "another language"
Explanation: "A orther language" is grammatically incorrect. "Another language" is the correct phrase. -
"a baby living together with parent" -> "a baby living with parents"
Explanation: "Parent" should be plural to match the context, and "together with" is redundant. "Living with parents" is more concise and correct. -
"harding" -> "hard"
Explanation: "Harding" is not a standard term. "Hard" is the correct adjective for describing difficulty. -
"everydays" -> "every day"
Explanation: "Everydays" is a typographical error. Correcting it to "every day" fixes the spelling. -
"pratice beacause" -> "practice because"
Explanation: "Pratice" is a typographical error and "beacause" is incorrect. Correcting it to "practice because" fixes the spelling and grammar. -
"quick reflexess" -> "quick reflexes"
Explanation: "Reflexess" is a typographical error. Correcting it to "reflexes" fixes the spelling.
These corrections and improvements enhance the clarity, accuracy, and formality of the essay, aligning it with academic writing standards.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Task Response: 5
-
Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of learning a foreign language at a young age. However, the response lacks a clear structure that delineates these points. The advantages are mentioned, but the disadvantages are not explicitly stated or analyzed. For instance, while the essay discusses the benefits of bilingualism and job opportunities, it fails to explore potential drawbacks, such as the cognitive load on young children or the possibility of language interference.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should explicitly outline both the advantages and disadvantages in separate paragraphs. This could involve stating a disadvantage clearly, such as the potential for confusion between languages or the challenge of balancing language learning with other academic subjects. A balanced discussion will provide a more comprehensive answer to the prompt.
-
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a personal opinion that there are positives and negatives to learning a foreign language at a young age. However, the position is not consistently maintained throughout the essay. The introduction suggests a balanced view, but the body paragraphs primarily focus on the advantages without adequately addressing the disadvantages. This inconsistency can confuse readers about the writer’s true stance.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should explicitly state their viewpoint in the introduction and reinforce it throughout the essay. Using phrases like "While there are disadvantages, I believe the advantages outweigh them" can help clarify the position. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph contributes to supporting this stance will enhance coherence.
-
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to the benefits of early language learning, such as job opportunities and the ability to communicate within multicultural families. However, these ideas are not fully developed or supported with specific examples or evidence. For instance, the claim about job opportunities is vague and lacks concrete examples or statistics to substantiate it. Additionally, some sentences are unclear, making it difficult for readers to grasp the intended meaning.
- How to improve: To improve the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point with specific examples or data. For instance, discussing studies that show the cognitive benefits of bilingualism or providing examples of successful bilingual individuals can strengthen the argument. Clear and concise language will also help in conveying ideas more effectively.
-
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally deviates from the main topic, particularly in the discussion about community environments and family backgrounds. While these points are relevant to the broader discussion of language learning, they do not directly address the advantages and disadvantages of starting language education in primary versus secondary school. The mention of "finance conditions" in the conclusion also introduces an unrelated factor that distracts from the main argument.
- How to improve: To stay on topic, the writer should ensure that all points made directly relate to the advantages and disadvantages of early language learning. It may be helpful to create an outline before writing to keep track of relevant points. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence that ties back to the prompt, ensuring that the essay remains focused on the central issue.
By addressing these areas for improvement, the writer can enhance the clarity, coherence, and overall effectiveness of their essay, potentially raising their band score in the Task Response criteria.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 5
-
Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas related to the advantages and disadvantages of learning a foreign language at a young age. However, the organization of these ideas is somewhat unclear. For instance, the introduction lacks a clear thesis statement, making it difficult for the reader to understand the writer’s stance. The points made in the body paragraphs do not follow a logical progression; for example, the discussion about job opportunities appears abruptly without a clear transition from the previous point about family communication.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer should start with a clear thesis statement in the introduction that outlines the main arguments. Each body paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that clearly states the main idea of that paragraph. Additionally, using transitional phrases (e.g., "Furthermore," "In addition," "On the other hand") can help guide the reader through the argument more smoothly.
-
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use paragraphs, but the structure is inconsistent. For example, the first body paragraph mixes several ideas about family language dynamics without clear separation, making it difficult to follow. The second body paragraph introduces job opportunities but does not clearly connect back to the main argument about the timing of language learning.
- How to improve: The writer should ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. For instance, the first paragraph could solely discuss the benefits of learning languages in a multicultural family, while the second could focus on future job opportunities. Each paragraph should also have a clear opening and closing sentence to reinforce the main idea and provide a sense of closure.
-
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses some cohesive devices, but they are limited and often incorrectly applied. For example, phrases like "for example" and "however" are used, but there are instances where the connections between ideas are weak or unclear. The use of cohesive devices does not effectively link the ideas together, leading to a disjointed reading experience.
- How to improve: To improve the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more clearly. For instance, using "Additionally," "Conversely," or "As a result" can help clarify relationships between points. It is also important to ensure that cohesive devices are used appropriately; for example, "however" should be used to contrast ideas, and should be placed in contexts where a contrast is evident.
In summary, to elevate the essay’s coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on organizing ideas logically, structuring paragraphs effectively, and diversifying the use of cohesive devices. By implementing these strategies, the overall clarity and flow of the essay will improve significantly.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 5
-
Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with several instances of repetition and basic word choices. For example, the term "childrent" is used multiple times without variation, and phrases like "learning a new language" and "studying a new language" are repeated. Additionally, the use of "good time for second language" lacks sophistication and variety.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more advanced vocabulary. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "childrent," alternatives like "children," "young learners," or "youth" could be employed. Moreover, varying expressions such as "acquiring a foreign language" or "mastering a second language" could enrich the essay.
-
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, "childrent is learnt foreign language in chillhood" is awkward and unclear. The phrase "the childrent can talked by English or Vietnamese" is grammatically incorrect and confusing. Additionally, terms like "citizen global" and "harding" are either incorrectly formed or used inappropriately.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and the correct form of words. For example, "children learn a foreign language in childhood" is clearer and grammatically correct. The writer should also ensure that phrases are coherent and convey the intended meaning effectively. Using a thesaurus to find the correct forms of words can also help in achieving precision.
-
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains numerous spelling errors, such as "Thesedays," "childrent," "beacause," "learing," "talked," "throught," "althought," "knowledges," "harding," "everydays," "pratice," and "confident." These errors detract from the overall readability and professionalism of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular spelling practice and utilize spell-check tools when drafting essays. Additionally, reading more extensively can help familiarize the writer with correct spelling and usage. Creating a list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them can also be beneficial.
In summary, to improve the Lexical Resource score, the writer should focus on expanding vocabulary, ensuring precision in word choice, and enhancing spelling accuracy. Engaging in consistent practice and seeking feedback on vocabulary usage will contribute significantly to achieving a higher band score in future essays.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5
-
Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, lacking the complexity that can enhance clarity and depth. For example, phrases like "childrent should be learn a new language" and "the childrent need learning all language to communication withy their family" show basic structure but are grammatically incorrect and awkward. The use of conjunctions is present, but the overall variety in sentence types (such as complex sentences) is minimal.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should practice incorporating complex sentences that include dependent clauses. For instance, instead of saying "childrent can own two nationalities," a more complex structure could be "If a child has parents from different countries, they can own two nationalities." Additionally, varying the placement of clauses and using different conjunctions can help create more engaging and sophisticated sentences.
-
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For instance, "childrent should be learn" is incorrect; it should be "children should learn." The phrase "in a family have nationalities" is awkward and lacks proper grammatical structure. Punctuation is also misused, such as the lack of commas in complex sentences, which can lead to confusion. The consistent misspelling of "childrent" (should be "children") and "beacause" (should be "because") detracts from the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and verb forms. Practicing the correct forms of verbs in different tenses and ensuring that subjects and verbs agree in number will be beneficial. Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas in lists and complex sentences, can improve clarity. Regular proofreading and using grammar-checking tools can help identify and correct these errors before submission.
In summary, while the essay presents a relevant argument regarding the advantages and disadvantages of early foreign language learning, the grammatical range and accuracy need significant improvement. By focusing on diversifying sentence structures and enhancing grammatical correctness, the writer can achieve a higher band score in future essays.
Bài sửa mẫu
These days, some people think that children should learn a new language starting from 6 years old to 10 years old, while others disagree with this view because they believe the best time for a second language, besides the mother tongue, is in secondary school. In my opinion, there are many positives as well as negatives if children learn a foreign language in childhood.
Firstly, in each country, parents always encourage their children’s language learning, especially in families with different nationalities. For example, children can have two nationalities if their father is English and their mother is Vietnamese. The children can speak either English or Vietnamese, so they need to learn both languages to communicate with their family. Secondly, studying a new language creates many job opportunities for children in the future because they become global citizens. For instance, a teenager living in Ho Chi Minh City can complete tasks for American companies through online work and using English to communicate.
Thirdly, although many studies show that babies find it easier to acquire knowledge when they are young, a child can enjoy learning another language if they have a good community environment. For example, a baby living with parents from Vietnam and England will certainly speak English more easily than a baby with Vietnamese parents. Finally, an important aspect of learning a language is hard work, trying every day, and practicing more because this improves confidence and quick reflexes.
In conclusion, studying languages brings many benefits for human life, particularly for children, teenagers, young generations, as well as older individuals. However, it depends on different factors like concentration, financial conditions, and community environment.