Some experts say for road safety cyclists should pass a test before being allowed on public roads.
Some experts say for road safety cyclists should pass a test before being allowed on public roads.
Many experts contend that cyclists should learn and go through the basic exam before cycling on community roads. I support this proposal and will elaborate on its reasons and benefits in this essay.
Firstly, many people choose to ride a bike because it is healthy and protects the environment which leads to increased numbers of cyclists on public roads. Therefore, in a traffic jam, a novice cyclist will encounter an accident and get injured on the road by a big vehicle. So, a good solution is to prepare basic instructions for cyclists. For example, a new cyclist will have to learn about rules on the road like traffic signs, and entering the bicycle path,…before being allowed on general roads and to feel confident in their abilities.
Secondly, the government should adopt some rules for cyclists on the public road. It will help to control regulation and for the safety of others. For instance, cyclists must follow the road signal and move like another vehicle. Moreover, they possess all necessary safety equipment such as helmets, knee protection belts, and medicine if they get injured. As a result, the frequency of cycling accidents will be decreased.
In conclusion, rules and preparation are the important things that cyclists need to have a safe journey. I agree with experts that people should pass an exam before they cycle on the public road.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"Many experts contend" -> "Many experts argue"
Explanation: "Argue" is a more precise term in academic writing, indicating a position taken after consideration of evidence, which is more suitable than "contend," which can imply a more confrontational stance. -
"learn and go through the basic exam" -> "complete a basic proficiency test"
Explanation: "Complete a basic proficiency test" is more specific and formal, clearly indicating the nature of the assessment, which is more appropriate for an academic context than the vague "learn and go through the basic exam." -
"I support this proposal" -> "I endorse this proposal"
Explanation: "Endorse" is a more formal term that conveys a stronger, more academic level of support than "support," which can be seen as less formal. -
"will elaborate on its reasons and benefits" -> "will elaborate on the rationale and advantages"
Explanation: "Rationale" and "advantages" are more precise and academically formal terms than "reasons and benefits," enhancing the sophistication of the language. -
"many people choose to ride a bike" -> "many individuals opt to cycle"
Explanation: "Opt to cycle" is more formal and precise than "choose to ride a bike," aligning better with academic style by using "opt" and "cycle" which are more specific and formal terms. -
"it is healthy and protects the environment" -> "it is a healthy and environmentally friendly mode of transportation"
Explanation: This revision clarifies the benefits of cycling in a more formal and comprehensive manner, avoiding the simplistic and vague "protects the environment." -
"a novice cyclist will encounter an accident" -> "a novice cyclist is likely to encounter an accident"
Explanation: Adding "is likely to" provides a more cautious and academically appropriate tone, indicating probability rather than certainty, which is more suitable for formal writing. -
"get injured on the road by a big vehicle" -> "sustain injuries from collisions with larger vehicles"
Explanation: "Sustain injuries from collisions with larger vehicles" is more precise and formal, avoiding the colloquial "get injured on the road by a big vehicle." -
"prepare basic instructions for cyclists" -> "develop standardized guidelines for cyclists"
Explanation: "Develop standardized guidelines" is more formal and specific than "prepare basic instructions," which sounds too casual and vague for an academic context. -
"rules on the road like traffic signs, and entering the bicycle path," -> "traffic regulations, including traffic signs and designated bike paths"
Explanation: This revision clarifies and formalizes the list of rules, using "traffic regulations" and "designated bike paths" which are more precise and appropriate for an academic essay. -
"the government should adopt some rules for cyclists on the public road" -> "the government should establish regulations for cyclists on public roads"
Explanation: "Establish regulations" is a more formal and precise term than "adopt some rules," and "public roads" is more formal than "public road." -
"It will help to control regulation and for the safety of others" -> "It will facilitate regulation and enhance safety for all"
Explanation: "Facilitate regulation and enhance safety for all" is more precise and formal, avoiding the awkward and unclear "help to control regulation and for the safety of others." -
"they possess all necessary safety equipment" -> "they must possess all necessary safety equipment"
Explanation: Adding "must" emphasizes the requirement, which is more formal and appropriate for an academic context than the simpler "possess." -
"the frequency of cycling accidents will be decreased" -> "the incidence of cycling accidents will decrease"
Explanation: "Incidence" is a more precise term in academic writing than "frequency," and "decrease" is the correct form to use with "incidence," aligning with formal English usage. -
"rules and preparation are the important things" -> "regulations and preparation are crucial elements"
Explanation: "Regulations and preparation are crucial elements" uses more formal vocabulary and structure, enhancing the academic tone of the conclusion.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the central idea of whether cyclists should pass a test before cycling on public roads. However, it lacks depth in exploring the implications of this proposal. The first paragraph introduces the idea but does not fully engage with the potential benefits or drawbacks of such a requirement. For instance, while the essay mentions that a novice cyclist might encounter accidents, it does not elaborate on how testing could mitigate these risks or what specific skills should be assessed.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the essay should include a discussion on the potential benefits of testing, such as improved safety statistics or increased public confidence in cyclists. Additionally, it could explore counterarguments, such as the accessibility of cycling for all individuals, to provide a more balanced view.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay states a clear position in favor of requiring cyclists to pass a test. However, the clarity of this position wavers in the body paragraphs. For example, while the first paragraph supports the need for basic instructions, it does not explicitly connect this to the necessity of a formal test, making the argument less cohesive.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should explicitly link each point back to the central argument of testing. Using phrases like "This is why a test is essential" or "Therefore, passing a test would ensure…" can help reinforce the main stance throughout the essay.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas, such as the need for basic instructions and safety equipment, but these ideas are not well-developed or supported with sufficient detail. For instance, the mention of safety equipment is relevant, but the essay does not explain how this ties into the necessity of a test or how it contributes to overall road safety.
- How to improve: To effectively present and support ideas, the writer should provide more specific examples and data where possible. For instance, citing statistics on cycling accidents before and after implementing testing in other regions could strengthen the argument. Additionally, expanding on each point with more detailed explanations would enhance the overall depth of the essay.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the need for cyclists to pass a test. However, there are moments where the focus shifts, such as when discussing general safety equipment without tying it back to the testing requirement. This can create a sense of disconnection between the points made.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the central argument of testing. Using topic sentences that clearly state how each paragraph contributes to the overall argument can help keep the essay on track.
Overall, while the essay addresses the prompt, it requires more depth, clarity, and cohesion to achieve a higher band score. Expanding on ideas, providing specific examples, and ensuring a consistent focus on the central argument will significantly improve the essay’s effectiveness.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument in favor of requiring cyclists to pass a test before using public roads. The introduction effectively outlines the writer’s stance, and the body paragraphs each address specific reasons supporting this view. However, the logical flow could be improved. For example, the transition from discussing the increase in cyclists to the need for basic instructions feels abrupt. The connection between the two ideas could be more explicitly stated to enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that directly relate to the thesis. Additionally, incorporating transitional phrases (e.g., "This leads to," "Consequently," "In addition") can help guide the reader through the argument more smoothly.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. The first paragraph introduces the topic, while the subsequent paragraphs provide supporting details. However, the second paragraph could be divided into two separate paragraphs: one focusing on the need for rules and regulations, and the other on the importance of safety equipment. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and sufficient supporting details. Consider breaking longer paragraphs into smaller ones when introducing new ideas or examples. This will help maintain reader engagement and improve the overall structure of the essay.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "Moreover," which help to structure the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between ideas could be clearer. For example, the phrase "which leads to increased numbers of cyclists" could be better linked to the subsequent discussion on safety.
- How to improve: To diversify and effectively use cohesive devices, incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases (e.g., "Furthermore," "In contrast," "As a result") to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Additionally, using pronouns and synonyms can help avoid repetition and create smoother transitions between sentences.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, enhancing the logical flow, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will contribute to a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, but it lacks variety and sophistication. Phrases like "healthy and protects the environment" and "good solution" are somewhat basic and could be enhanced. Additionally, the repetition of terms such as "cyclist" and "road" suggests a limited lexical range.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms or more specific terms. For instance, instead of repeating "cyclist," terms like "bicyclist" or "rider" could be used. Additionally, phrases like "beneficial for health" or "environmentally friendly" could replace simpler constructions.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "prepare basic instructions for cyclists" could be interpreted in various ways; it might be clearer to say "provide essential training for cyclists." Furthermore, the term "traffic jam" is somewhat misplaced in the context of discussing novice cyclists, as it implies a broader traffic issue rather than focusing on the cyclist’s experience.
- How to improve: To improve precision, ensure that vocabulary choices accurately convey the intended meaning. For example, instead of "encounter an accident," consider using "be involved in an accident," which more clearly indicates the cyclist’s role. Additionally, clarify phrases by providing context or specifics, such as "rules of the road" instead of "rules on the road."
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally good level of spelling accuracy, with only minor errors. However, the phrase "knee protection belts" is awkward and may confuse readers, as it is not a commonly used term. The word "medicine" in the context of safety equipment is also vague and could be misinterpreted.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling and overall clarity, focus on using standard terms that are widely recognized. For example, replace "knee protection belts" with "knee pads" and clarify "medicine" by specifying "first aid supplies." Regular practice with spelling exercises and reading widely can also help improve spelling accuracy.
Overall, while the essay meets the basic requirements for lexical resource, there is significant room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and clarity. Engaging with a wider variety of texts and practicing paraphrasing can help develop a more sophisticated and precise use of language.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures. For instance, it effectively employs complex sentences, such as "Firstly, many people choose to ride a bike because it is healthy and protects the environment which leads to increased numbers of cyclists on public roads." However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the use of simple sentences that could be combined for greater complexity. The use of phrases like "For example" and "Secondly" indicates an attempt to structure arguments clearly, but the overall range could be further diversified.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more compound-complex sentences. For example, instead of saying "A good solution is to prepare basic instructions for cyclists," you could say, "A good solution would be to prepare basic instructions for cyclists, which would not only enhance their understanding of road rules but also boost their confidence." Additionally, varying the use of transition words and phrases can help create a more engaging flow.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with only a few noticeable errors. For instance, the phrase "before cycling on community roads" could be more clearly stated as "before being allowed to cycle on public roads." There are also punctuation issues, such as the use of ellipses in "bicycle path,…before being allowed," which is inappropriate in formal writing. The sentence "Moreover, they possess all necessary safety equipment such as helmets, knee protection belts, and medicine if they get injured" is grammatically correct but could benefit from clearer phrasing.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on refining sentence clarity and punctuation. Avoid using ellipses in formal essays; instead, use commas or periods to separate ideas. Additionally, ensure that all sentences are complete and clearly convey their intended meaning. Practicing sentence restructuring and reviewing punctuation rules can also help in achieving greater accuracy.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the score further.
Bài sửa mẫu
Many experts argue that cyclists should complete a basic proficiency test before being allowed on public roads. I endorse this proposal and will elaborate on the rationale and advantages in this essay.
Firstly, many individuals opt to cycle because it is a healthy and environmentally friendly mode of transportation, which leads to an increase in the number of cyclists on public roads. Consequently, a novice cyclist is likely to encounter an accident and sustain injuries from collisions with larger vehicles. Therefore, a good solution is to develop standardized guidelines for cyclists. For example, a new cyclist should learn about road rules, such as traffic signs and designated bike paths, before being permitted on public roads, allowing them to feel confident in their abilities.
Secondly, the government should establish regulations for cyclists on public roads. This will facilitate regulation and enhance safety for all road users. For instance, cyclists must adhere to traffic signals and behave like other vehicles. Moreover, they must possess all necessary safety equipment, such as helmets, knee pads, and first aid supplies in case of injury. As a result, the incidence of cycling accidents will decrease.
In conclusion, regulations and preparation are crucial elements that cyclists need for a safe journey. I agree with experts that individuals should pass a basic proficiency test before cycling on public roads.