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Some people believe that developments in the field of artificial intelligence will have a positive impact on our lives in the near future. Others, by contrast, are worried that we are not prepared for a world in which computers are more intelligent than humans.

Some people believe that developments in the field of artificial intelligence will have a positive impact on our lives in the near future. Others, by contrast, are worried that we are not prepared for a world in which computers are more intelligent than humans.

In recent times, the rise of artificial intelligence has created significant changes in our society. There are those who advocate that this will offer a number of benefits to human society’s lives. Others, by contrast, are concerned about its drawbacks affecting people in many aspects. In this essay, the merits and demerits of this topic will be discussed and presented reasonably.

On the one hand, advancements in artificial intelligence would have a positive influence on enhancing the standard of people's lives. Firstly, when it comes to work and study , AI can assist citizens with a higher level of productivity and efficiency. Since AI is synthesized from many data sources as well as the ability to operate continuously, it saves much time to process large amounts of information quickly, helping people make better decisions. Also, it can minimize human errors if programmed properly; therefore, it could lead to many high-quality outcomes in various fields. Moreover, thanks to AI-powered tools, people can perform daily activities in a more convenient and easier way such as managing calendars, recommending shoppings or controlling smart home devices.

On the other hand, there are still many challenges that AI poses to the way human society works. One of the drawbacks of using AI is its inability to be creative and innovative compared with human’s brains. AI is restricted by what people have programmed and set up, which results in generating content based on existing data. For this reason, AI can’t always think outside of the box and offer thoughts according to everyone’s demands. In addition, AI systems can be vulnerable to hacking, which invades privacy and security. Nowadays, more and more companies as well as enterprises are putting their back into boosting data protection systems in cyberspace for fear of being stolen precious information and exert adverse impacts on their business. Last but not least, so to speak, AI is threatening the labor force including both manual and mental ones. In fact, AI can automatically take on work without human’s help, namely checking the quality of products or optimizing the manufacturing process , which can be seen in factories in this day and age. As a result, the employers will reduce employment to apply AI in practice with a view to save a great deal of money and boost their productivity.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "created significant changes" -> "brought about significant changes"
    Explanation: "Brought about" is a more formal and precise term that better fits the academic style, emphasizing the causative effect of the changes caused by artificial intelligence.

  2. "a number of benefits to human society’s lives" -> "numerous benefits to human society"
    Explanation: Simplifying "a number of benefits to human society’s lives" to "numerous benefits to human society" removes redundancy and enhances clarity, aligning with formal academic language.

  3. "people in many aspects" -> "individuals in various aspects"
    Explanation: "Individuals" is more specific and formal than "people," and "various" is more precise than "many," which is vague and informal.

  4. "advancements in artificial intelligence would have a positive influence" -> "advances in artificial intelligence exert a positive influence"
    Explanation: "Exert" is a more active and precise verb than "have," which is passive and less direct, enhancing the formal tone of the sentence.

  5. "synthesized from many data sources" -> "derived from numerous data sources"
    Explanation: "Derived" is more specific and academically appropriate than "synthesized," which can be vague and less precise in this context.

  6. "saves much time to process" -> "saves considerable time in processing"
    Explanation: "Saves considerable time in processing" is more grammatically correct and formal, improving the flow and precision of the sentence.

  7. "helping people make better decisions" -> "aiding decision-making"
    Explanation: "Aiding decision-making" is a more concise and formal way to express the idea, avoiding the redundancy of "helping people make better decisions."

  8. "minimize human errors" -> "reduce human error"
    Explanation: "Reduce human error" is a more concise and formal expression, suitable for academic writing.

  9. "thanks to AI-powered tools" -> "owing to AI-powered tools"
    Explanation: "Owing to" is a more formal preposition than "thanks to," which is somewhat informal and conversational for academic writing.

  10. "controlling smart home devices" -> "controlling smart home appliances"
    Explanation: "Appliances" is a more precise term than "devices" in this context, aligning better with the formal tone of the essay.

  11. "One of the drawbacks of using AI" -> "A drawback of utilizing AI"
    Explanation: "A drawback of utilizing AI" is more concise and formal, improving the flow and precision of the sentence.

  12. "can’t always think outside of the box" -> "cannot always think creatively"
    Explanation: "Cannot always think creatively" is a more formal and precise way to express the idea, avoiding the colloquialism "think outside of the box."

  13. "exert adverse impacts" -> "have adverse impacts"
    Explanation: "Have adverse impacts" is grammatically correct and more formal, avoiding the awkward construction of "exert adverse impacts."

  14. "putting their back into boosting" -> "investing in enhancing"
    Explanation: "Investing in enhancing" is a more formal and precise way to describe the action of improving data protection systems, replacing the colloquial "putting their back into."

  15. "so to speak" -> "to put it succinctly"
    Explanation: "To put it succinctly" is a more formal and academic way to introduce a conclusion or summary, replacing the colloquial "so to speak."

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument regarding the impact of artificial intelligence (AI) on society. The introduction clearly outlines the two perspectives: those who see benefits and those who express concerns. The body paragraphs provide relevant examples for both views, such as increased productivity and efficiency from AI, as well as potential job loss and security risks. However, the essay could improve by explicitly stating a conclusion that reflects a balanced view or a personal stance on the issue.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that each part of the question is not only mentioned but also analyzed in depth. A more explicit conclusion summarizing the discussion and indicating a personal position would strengthen the response.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a fairly clear position by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of AI. However, it lacks a definitive stance or a clear argument that ties the points together. The transition between the two perspectives could be more fluid, and the conclusion does not reinforce the writer’s position, which may leave the reader uncertain about the overall message.
    • How to improve: The writer should choose a clear position on the issue and maintain that throughout the essay. This can be achieved by using phrases that indicate agreement or disagreement with the points made, and by summarizing this position in the conclusion.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to the benefits and drawbacks of AI. For instance, it discusses productivity and efficiency as benefits and job loss as a drawback. However, some points could be further developed. For example, while the essay mentions AI’s inability to be creative, it does not provide specific examples or elaborate on the implications of this limitation.
    • How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to extend their ideas with more detailed examples and explanations. For instance, when discussing job loss, they could include statistics or case studies that illustrate the impact of AI on employment in specific industries.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the implications of AI as outlined in the prompt. However, there are moments where the discussion could stray slightly, such as when discussing data protection, which, while relevant, could be more tightly linked to the main argument about AI’s impact on society.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the central question of AI’s impact. They could use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to clearly indicate how the content relates to the overall argument.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, but it would benefit from a clearer position, more developed ideas, and tighter focus on the prompt.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, two main body paragraphs (one for the positive impacts of AI and one for the negative impacts), and a conclusion implied through the discussion. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the introduction mentions that both merits and demerits will be discussed, but the shift from discussing benefits to drawbacks feels abrupt. The use of phrases like "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" helps signal the contrasting views, but the overall flow could be enhanced with more explicit connections between points.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that not only indicate contrast but also summarize the previous point before introducing the next. For example, after discussing the benefits of AI, a phrase like "Despite these advantages, there are significant challenges that must be addressed" could create a smoother transition to the negative aspects.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic, making it easier for the reader to follow the argument. However, the second paragraph, while discussing the drawbacks, could benefit from clearer topic sentences that encapsulate the main idea of the paragraph. The final sentence of the second paragraph is somewhat convoluted and could be broken down for clarity.
    • How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph begins with a strong topic sentence that clearly states the main idea. For instance, the second paragraph could start with something like, "Despite the potential benefits, the rise of AI presents several significant challenges that could negatively impact society." Additionally, consider breaking down complex sentences into simpler ones to enhance readability.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Moreover," "On the one hand," and "In addition." These devices help to structure the argument and guide the reader through the points being made. However, there is a tendency to rely on a limited range of cohesive devices, which can make the writing feel repetitive. For example, "Firstly" and "On the one hand" are used, but other linking words and phrases could diversify the text further.
    • How to improve: To improve the range of cohesive devices, incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "Firstly," consider alternatives like "To begin with" or "Initially." Additionally, use phrases like "Conversely" or "In contrast" to introduce opposing viewpoints. This variety will enhance the essay’s flow and make it more engaging for the reader.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, addressing the identified areas for improvement will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "advancements," "influence," "productivity," and "vulnerable." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly in phrases like "positive influence" and "high-quality outcomes," which could be varied to enhance the richness of the language. Additionally, the use of phrases like "putting their back into" is informal and may not suit the academic tone expected in IELTS essays.
    • How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "positive influence," alternatives like "beneficial impact" or "favorable effect" could be used. Furthermore, using more sophisticated vocabulary related to artificial intelligence, such as "automation," "algorithmic efficiency," or "machine learning," would elevate the essay’s lexical resource.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "human’s brains" should be corrected to "human brains" for grammatical accuracy. Additionally, the term "so to speak" is awkwardly placed and does not contribute meaningfully to the argument. The phrase "putting their back into boosting data protection systems" is also vague and could be more clearly articulated.
    • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clarity and appropriateness of word choice. For example, instead of "human’s brains," simply using "human intelligence" would be more precise. The phrase "putting their back into" could be replaced with "investing efforts in" to convey a clearer meaning. Regularly consulting a thesaurus and practicing paraphrasing can help in selecting the most accurate words.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates good spelling, with only a few minor errors. However, there are instances where spelling could be improved, such as "shoppings," which should be "shopping." Additionally, the phrase "human’s help" should be corrected to "human help" to avoid unnecessary possessiveness.
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as writing out vocabulary lists and using them in sentences. Proofreading the essay before submission can also help catch minor spelling errors. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can assist in identifying mistakes that may be overlooked during silent reading.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents arguments clearly, enhancing the range and precision of vocabulary, along with ensuring correct spelling, will contribute to a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of introductory phrases ("On the one hand," "On the other hand") effectively organizes the argument. Additionally, the sentence "AI can assist citizens with a higher level of productivity and efficiency" shows a clear structure that conveys a complex idea. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings and a lack of more sophisticated structures, such as conditional sentences or varied clause placements.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences with subordinate clauses. For instance, instead of starting several sentences with "AI," try varying the subject or using introductory clauses. Additionally, employing conditional structures (e.g., "If AI is implemented effectively, it could…") can add depth to the arguments presented.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with only a few minor errors. For example, the phrase "human’s brains" should be corrected to "humans’ brains" to indicate possession correctly. Additionally, there are punctuation issues, such as the unnecessary space before the comma in "work and study , AI" and inconsistent use of commas in lists (e.g., "managing calendars, recommending shoppings or controlling smart home devices" should include a comma before "or" for clarity).
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on proofreading for common errors, especially with possessive forms and punctuation. It may be beneficial to practice writing sentences that require careful attention to punctuation, such as lists and compound sentences. Additionally, consider using grammar-checking tools to identify and correct errors before finalizing the essay.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the score further.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent times, the rise of artificial intelligence has brought about significant changes in our society. There are those who advocate that this will offer numerous benefits to human society’s lives. Others, by contrast, are concerned about its drawbacks affecting individuals in various aspects. In this essay, the merits and demerits of this topic will be discussed and presented reasonably.

On the one hand, advances in artificial intelligence exert a positive influence on enhancing the standard of people’s lives. Firstly, when it comes to work and study, AI can assist individuals with a higher level of productivity and efficiency. Since AI is derived from numerous data sources and has the ability to operate continuously, it saves considerable time in processing large amounts of information quickly, aiding decision-making. Additionally, it can minimize human errors if programmed properly; therefore, it could lead to many high-quality outcomes in various fields. Moreover, owing to AI-powered tools, people can perform daily activities in a more convenient and easier way, such as managing calendars, recommending shopping, or controlling smart home appliances.

On the other hand, there are still many challenges that AI poses to the way human society functions. A drawback of utilizing AI is its inability to think creatively and innovatively compared to the human brain. AI is restricted by what people have programmed and set up, which results in generating content based on existing data. For this reason, AI cannot always think outside of the box and offer solutions tailored to everyone’s demands. In addition, AI systems can be vulnerable to hacking, which threatens privacy and security. Nowadays, more and more companies, as well as enterprises, are investing in boosting data protection systems in cyberspace for fear of having precious information stolen and experiencing adverse impacts on their business. Last but not least, AI is threatening the labor force, including both manual and mental jobs. In fact, AI can automatically take on work without human assistance, such as checking the quality of products or optimizing the manufacturing process, which can be observed in factories today. As a result, employers may reduce employment to implement AI in practice with a view to saving a great deal of money and boosting their productivity.

In conclusion, while advancements in artificial intelligence can bring numerous benefits to human society, it is essential to address the challenges and drawbacks that accompany its integration into our lives. Balancing the advantages and disadvantages will be crucial as we move towards a future increasingly influenced by AI.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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