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Some people believe that going on a holiday with friends is a good choice, while others argue that travelling alone is better. Which opinion do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. You should write at least 250 words.

Some people believe that going on a holiday with friends is a good choice, while others argue that travelling alone is better. Which opinion do you agree with?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
You should write at least 250 words.

Starting a holiday with friends is an exciting experience that adds to the joy of exploration. While solo travel has its own values, such as friendship, shared memories, and mutual support when travelling in a group, it creates unique and complete adventures. In this essay, I will present the reasons why going on holiday with friends is my preferred choice.

Firstly, travelling with friends allows for the sharing of experiences and the creation of lasting memories. Exploring new places together, trying local cuisine, and engaging in various activities become more enjoyable than travelling alone. These memorable moments often lead to stronger bonds between friends. For example, during a trip to Da Lat with friends last year, we explored winding mountain roads together, admired beautiful landscapes, enjoyed local dishes, and were pleasantly surprised by the culture of the place.

Secondly, travelling with friends provides safety and mutual support when needed. Exploring new destinations can be challenging, and having friends by your side creates a sense of security. In unfamiliar environments or when facing unforeseen challenges, friends can offer valuable help or encouragement, making the journey smoother and more enjoyable. This was evident during our mountain climbing expedition to Co Tien last year, where the challenging terrain could be conquered more easily through mutual encouragement and support.

However, it is essential to acknowledge that there are still benefits to travelling alone. Independence, self-discovery, and the freedom to create a personal itinerary are some of the advantages of solo travel. Furthermore, travelling alone encourages independence and the ability to adapt to new environments. When individuals embark on a solo journey, they are forced to face new challenges and make decisions independently.
In conclusion, the choice between going on holiday with friends or travelling alone is subjective and largely depends on the intentions and preferences of each individual. I find both options appealing, but personally, the diverse experiences and shared moments of exploring the world with friends make it my preferred choice for a fulfilling holiday.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "adds to the joy of exploration" -> "enhances the joy of exploration"
    Explanation: Replacing "adds to" with "enhances" contributes to a more formal tone and emphasizes the positive impact on the joy of exploration.

  2. "While solo travel has its own values" -> "Although solo travel has its merits"
    Explanation: Substituting "values" with "merits" and using "Although" instead of "While" adds sophistication and aligns with academic style.

  3. "unique and complete adventures" -> "distinct and comprehensive experiences"
    Explanation: The term "unique and complete adventures" is somewhat informal. Substituting it with "distinct and comprehensive experiences" maintains clarity and elevates the academic tone.

  4. "In this essay, I will present the reasons" -> "This essay will delineate the reasons"
    Explanation: Replacing "present" with "delineate" and omitting "I will" results in a more concise and formal expression.

  5. "Exploring new places together, trying local cuisine" -> "Exploring new locales collectively, sampling local cuisine"
    Explanation: Using "locales" instead of "places" and "sampling" instead of "trying" contributes to a more polished and academic style.

  6. "memorable moments often lead to stronger bonds between friends" -> "significant moments frequently foster stronger bonds among friends"
    Explanation: Substituting "memorable" with "significant" and rephrasing the sentence enhances formality and precision.

  7. "During a trip to Da Lat with friends last year" -> "On a journey to Da Lat with companions last year"
    Explanation: The revised sentence introduces a more formal expression with "On a journey" and "companions."

  8. "we explored winding mountain roads together, admired beautiful landscapes" -> "we traversed winding mountainous routes collectively, appreciated picturesque landscapes"
    Explanation: The use of "traversed" and "appreciated" instead of "explored" and "admired" elevates the vocabulary and maintains a formal tone.

  9. "and were pleasantly surprised by the culture of the place" -> "and were pleasantly intrigued by the local culture"
    Explanation: Replacing "surprised" with "intrigued" and specifying "local culture" enhances precision and formality.

  10. "travelling with friends provides safety and mutual support" -> "traveling with companions ensures safety and mutual assistance"
    Explanation: The substitution of "provides" with "ensures" and "support" with "assistance" contributes to a more formal and precise expression.

  11. "can offer valuable help or encouragement" -> "can provide valuable assistance or encouragement"
    Explanation: Replacing "offer" with "provide" and using "assistance" instead of "help" enhances formality and clarity.

  12. "journey smoother and more enjoyable" -> "journey more seamless and enjoyable"
    Explanation: The adjustment from "smoother" to "more seamless" maintains formality and conciseness.

  13. "it is essential to acknowledge that there are still benefits" -> "it is crucial to recognize that there are still advantages"
    Explanation: Substituting "essential" with "crucial" and "acknowledge" with "recognize" contributes to a more formal and academic tone.

  14. "the choice between going on holiday with friends or travelling alone" -> "the decision to vacation with friends or travel alone"
    Explanation: Using "decision" instead of "choice" and "vacation" instead of "going on holiday" enhances formality and clarity.

  15. "but personally, the diverse experiences and shared moments" -> "but personally, experiencing diversity and shared moments"
    Explanation: Simplifying the sentence and using "experiencing diversity" contributes to a more concise and academically appropriate expression.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all parts of the question. It discusses both the advantages of traveling with friends and the benefits of solo travel. Each aspect is thoroughly explored, and specific reasons and examples are provided to support the author’s preference for going on holiday with friends.
    • How to improve: While the essay is comprehensive in addressing the prompt, consider providing a more explicit statement of the author’s stance on the issue early in the essay to enhance clarity for the reader.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent position in favor of going on holiday with friends. The author presents a well-defined stance in the introduction and consistently supports this viewpoint throughout the essay. Examples and reasons are logically presented, contributing to the overall clarity of the essay.
    • How to improve: Continue to reinforce the thesis statement throughout the essay, ensuring that every paragraph and supporting point aligns with the chosen position.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports ideas. Each paragraph is dedicated to a specific aspect of the argument, and relevant examples are provided to elaborate on the presented points. The examples, such as the trip to Da Lat and the mountain climbing expedition, contribute to a rich and detailed exploration of the topic.
    • How to improve: Consider further elaborating on the counterargument regarding solo travel. While it is mentioned, providing additional examples or details could strengthen the essay’s overall balance.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the advantages of traveling with friends and briefly acknowledging the benefits of solo travel. However, the essay could enhance its focus by providing a more in-depth exploration of the counterargument.
    • How to improve: Ensure that every paragraph directly relates to the prompt. In the case of the counterargument, elaborate more on the benefits of solo travel to provide a more well-rounded discussion.

Overall Comments:

This essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and effectively addresses the key elements required for a high-band score. The structure is clear, with well-organized paragraphs and examples that support the author’s perspective. To enhance the essay further, consider reinforcing the thesis statement throughout and providing a more detailed exploration of the counterargument. This will contribute to a more nuanced and balanced discussion, further showcasing the author’s ability to engage with the topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of logical organization. The introduction introduces the topic and presents a clear thesis statement. The body paragraphs follow a logical sequence, presenting reasons and examples to support the author’s preference for traveling with friends. The conclusion summarizes the main points effectively. However, there are moments where the flow could be improved. For instance, the transition between the advantages of traveling with friends to the acknowledgment of benefits of solo travel is somewhat abrupt, impacting the overall coherence.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider smoother transitions between ideas. Provide a brief overview or a connecting sentence when shifting from one aspect to another. For example, when transitioning from the benefits of traveling with friends to the advantages of solo travel, introduce a sentence that prepares the reader for the shift, creating a more seamless transition.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to organize ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect, such as shared experiences, safety, and the benefits of solo travel. The structure within paragraphs is generally clear, with a topic sentence introducing the main idea followed by supporting details. However, there is room for improvement in the development of ideas within some paragraphs, such as providing more elaboration on shared memories and experiences.
    • How to improve: Strengthen the development of ideas within paragraphs by providing specific examples and details to support each point. For instance, in the paragraph discussing shared experiences, expand on the example of the trip to Da Lat by describing particular activities or moments that contributed to the creation of lasting memories.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as transition words (e.g., "firstly," "secondly," "furthermore," "however," "in conclusion") and pronouns (e.g., "this," "these"). These devices contribute to the overall coherence by guiding the reader through the essay’s structure. However, there is room for improvement in the use of more sophisticated cohesive devices to enhance coherence further.
    • How to improve: Incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices, including advanced transitions, parallelism, and repetition for emphasis. For example, instead of using repetitive phrases like "last year," consider using synonyms or alternative expressions to maintain variety and engage the reader more effectively.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a reasonable level of coherence and cohesion. Improving transitions between ideas, enhancing the development of supporting details within paragraphs, and diversifying the use of cohesive devices will contribute to a more polished and coherent piece of writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderately wide range of vocabulary. There is a variety of words used to convey ideas, such as "exploration," "shared memories," "mutual support," "encouragement," "challenging terrain," and "independence." However, there is room for improvement in incorporating more advanced or nuanced vocabulary to elevate the lexical richness.
    • How to improve: To enhance your vocabulary range, consider incorporating more sophisticated synonyms or exploring different expressions for common ideas. For instance, instead of "enjoyable," you could use terms like "gratifying" or "pleasurable" to add depth to your descriptions.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary precisely, with words fitting well into the context. However, there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, the phrase "complete adventures" could be clarified with a more specific term, and "valuable help" might benefit from a more precise description.
    • How to improve: Strive for precision by choosing words that precisely convey your intended meaning. Instead of "complete adventures," consider specifying the nature of the adventures, and instead of "valuable help," you could specify the type of assistance offered, whether it’s guidance, support, or expertise.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: Spelling is generally accurate throughout the essay. However, there are a few instances where minor errors, such as missing spaces after commas, could be corrected for a polished presentation.
    • How to improve: Pay meticulous attention to punctuation, spacing, and other minor details to ensure flawless spelling and grammar. Review your writing carefully, and consider using tools like spell-check to catch any overlooked errors.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary, but there is room for improvement in both range and precision. Focusing on incorporating more advanced vocabulary and ensuring precise word choices will contribute to further enhancing the lexical resource of your essays. Additionally, paying careful attention to minor spelling and punctuation details will elevate the overall professionalism of your writing. Keep up the good work!

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonably wide range of sentence structures, incorporating simple, compound, and complex sentences effectively. There is a mix of sentence types, including declarative, interrogative, and conditional sentences. Some examples include compound sentences like, "While solo travel has its own values, such as friendship, shared memories, and mutual support when travelling in a group, it creates unique and complete adventures," and complex sentences like, "Exploring new places together, trying local cuisine, and engaging in various activities become more enjoyable than travelling alone."
    • How to improve: To further diversify the sentence structures, consider introducing more complex sentence structures with subordinate clauses or phrases. Try incorporating varied sentence beginnings, employing rhetorical devices like parallelism or inversion for emphasis or variety. For instance, instead of starting sentences frequently with introductory phrases or clauses, experiment with diverse sentence structures to enhance coherence and engagement.
  • Use Grammar Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay maintains a commendable level of grammatical accuracy. Most sentences are grammatically correct, contributing to the coherence and clarity of the writing. For instance, "During a trip to Da Lat with friends last year, we explored winding mountain roads together, admired beautiful landscapes, enjoyed local dishes, and were pleasantly surprised by the culture of the place," presents a well-structured sentence showcasing correct subject-verb agreement and appropriate use of coordinating conjunctions.
    • How to improve: While the essay displays strong grammatical accuracy, pay attention to minor errors in subject-verb agreement or verb tense consistency. Occasionally, revise sentences to ensure parallelism in structure, especially when listing items or experiences. For instance, in the sentence "Independence, self-discovery, and the freedom to create a personal itinerary are some of the advantages of solo travel," ensure consistent parallel structure for clarity and cohesion.
  • Use Correct Punctuation:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs punctuation effectively to convey ideas clearly. Commas, periods, and other punctuation marks are generally used correctly to separate clauses, indicate pauses, and organize ideas. For example, "In unfamiliar environments or when facing unforeseen challenges, friends can offer valuable help or encouragement, making the journey smoother and more enjoyable," demonstrates appropriate use of commas in setting off non-restrictive clauses.
    • How to improve: While the essay demonstrates proficient use of punctuation, consider reviewing the use of punctuation marks in complex sentence structures, particularly regarding the placement of commas in sentences with introductory phrases or clauses. Also, be cautious with comma splices or run-on sentences by ensuring appropriate punctuation or conjunctions are used to separate independent clauses.

Overall, the essay exhibits a commendable command of grammatical range and accuracy, employing a varied range of structures effectively. To further enhance the essay, continue practicing diverse sentence structures, maintain grammatical accuracy through careful proofreading, and refine punctuation skills for increased precision and clarity.

Bài sửa mẫu

Embarking on a holiday with friends truly enhances the joy of exploration. Although solo travel has its merits, such as fostering independence and self-discovery, the distinct and comprehensive experiences gained when traveling with companions make it my preferred choice. This essay will delineate the reasons behind this preference.

Firstly, exploring new locales collectively, sampling local cuisine, and engaging in various activities with friends significantly contribute to the enjoyment of the journey. These shared moments often lead to stronger bonds among friends. On a journey to Da Lat with companions last year, we traversed winding mountainous routes collectively, appreciated picturesque landscapes, and were pleasantly intrigued by the local culture. The memories created during this trip have become cherished moments that bind us together.

Secondly, traveling with companions ensures safety and mutual assistance, which can provide valuable assistance or encouragement in challenging situations. In unfamiliar environments or when facing unforeseen challenges, friends can make the journey more seamless and enjoyable. This was evident during our mountain climbing expedition to Co Tien last year, where the challenging terrain became conquerable through mutual encouragement and support.

It is crucial to recognize that there are still advantages to solo travel, such as independence, self-discovery, and the freedom to create a personal itinerary. However, personally, experiencing diversity and shared moments during the exploration of the world with friends hold greater appeal for a fulfilling holiday.

In conclusion, the decision to vacation with friends or travel alone is subjective and depends on individual intentions and preferences. Both options have their merits, but the joy derived from shared experiences and the sense of camaraderie make traveling with friends my preferred choice for a memorable and enriching holiday.

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