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Some people believe that governments should pay full course fees for students who want to study in universities. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that governments should pay full course fees for students who want to study in universities. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is commonly believed that governments should cover the full course fees for students seeking higher education. While I comprehend the reasoning behind this proposal, I steadfastly support it for several reasons.

Opponents of this perspective may cite various reasons. They may contend that the substantial funds would be allocated to sustain the educational system, leaving insufficient financial resources for other sectors to invest in. Consequently, the nation may miss opportunities for development, and the standard of living for residents cannot be enhanced. Another conceivable argument posits that psychology exerts a profound influence on students, leading to their potential indifference. Consequently, the educational standard may witness a downward trend.

Nevertheless, I maintain my stance that the government should bear the full cost of tuition for students pursuing higher education, and I have several reasons to support this view.

Foremost among these reasons is the increased accessibility of university education to a broader population. To illustrate, the nation will boast a vast pool of highly qualified human resources, propelling it toward becoming a formidable power. A second compelling reason is the substantial reduction in pressure on students and their families. For example, individuals with modest family backgrounds but exceptional intellectual capabilities can now access university education, allowing the nation to leverage their talent.

In conclusion, while it is understandable that some individuals may not support the notion of governmental coverage of full tuition fees for university education, I steadfastly endorse this proposal based on the aforementioned reasons.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "It is commonly believed that" -> "It is widely accepted that"
    Explanation: Replacing "commonly believed" with "widely accepted" adds formality and precision to the statement, aligning with academic tone.

  2. "While I comprehend the reasoning behind this proposal, I steadfastly support it for several reasons." -> "While I understand the rationale behind this proposal, I firmly support it for several reasons."
    Explanation: Replacing "comprehend" with "understand" and "steadfastly" with "firmly" maintains formality and clarity in expressing support for the proposal.

  3. "Opponents of this perspective may cite various reasons." -> "Opponents of this viewpoint may cite various reasons."
    Explanation: Replacing "perspective" with "viewpoint" maintains consistency in terminology and adds precision to the sentence.

  4. "They may contend that the substantial funds would be allocated to sustain the educational system, leaving insufficient financial resources for other sectors to invest in." -> "They may argue that allocating substantial funds to sustain the educational system could deplete financial resources available for investment in other sectors."
    Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and replacing "contend" with "argue" enhances the formality of the expression.

  5. "Consequently, the nation may miss opportunities for development, and the standard of living for residents cannot be enhanced." -> "As a result, the nation may forego opportunities for development, and the standard of living for residents may not be enhanced."
    Explanation: The suggested changes enhance the causal relationship between the allocation of funds and the potential consequences, adhering to academic style.

  6. "Another conceivable argument posits that psychology exerts a profound influence on students, leading to their potential indifference." -> "Another conceivable argument suggests that psychology significantly influences students, potentially leading to their indifference."
    Explanation: Replacing "posits" with "suggests" and refining the expression of psychological influence contributes to a more precise and formal presentation.

  7. "Nevertheless, I maintain my stance that the government should bear the full cost of tuition for students pursuing higher education, and I have several reasons to support this view." -> "Nevertheless, I maintain my position that the government should cover the entire cost of tuition for students pursuing higher education, and I have several reasons to support this stance."
    Explanation: Enhancing clarity and formality by specifying "position" instead of "stance" and using "cover the entire cost" instead of "bear the full cost."

  8. "Foremost among these reasons is the increased accessibility of university education to a broader population." -> "Chief among these reasons is the enhanced accessibility of university education to a broader population."
    Explanation: Replacing "foremost" with "chief" adds a more formal and sophisticated tone, aligning with academic style.

  9. "A second compelling reason is the substantial reduction in pressure on students and their families." -> "A second compelling rationale is the significant alleviation of pressure on students and their families."
    Explanation: Substituting "reason" with "rationale" and refining the expression of pressure alleviation contributes to a more formal and academically appropriate language.

  10. "For example, individuals with modest family backgrounds but exceptional intellectual capabilities can now access university education, allowing the nation to leverage their talent." -> "For instance, individuals from modest family backgrounds with exceptional intellectual capabilities can now access university education, enabling the nation to leverage their talents."
    Explanation: Adding "For instance" for formality and rephrasing the latter part of the sentence for clarity and precision in conveying the idea.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0 – UNDER WORD

  1. Quoted text: "It is commonly believed that governments should cover the full course fees for students seeking higher education. While I comprehend the reasoning behind this proposal, I steadfastly support it for several reasons."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction sets the tone for the essay and states your position clearly, which is commendable. However, it lacks a brief preview of the main points to be discussed in the body paragraphs. Providing a concise roadmap of your essay can enhance the structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "It is commonly believed that governments should cover the full course fees for students seeking higher education. While I comprehend the reasoning behind this proposal, I steadfastly support it for several reasons. In this essay, I will delve into the increased accessibility of university education and the significant reduction in pressure on students and their families."
  2. Quoted text: "Opponents of this perspective may cite various reasons. They may contend that the substantial funds would be allocated to sustain the educational system, leaving insufficient financial resources for other sectors to invest in. Consequently, the nation may miss opportunities for development, and the standard of living for residents cannot be enhanced. Another conceivable argument posits that psychology exerts a profound influence on students, leading to their potential indifference. Consequently, the educational standard may witness a downward trend."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: Your counterarguments are relevant, but the development is somewhat repetitive, and the ideas lack specificity. Provide concrete examples or elaborate on each point to strengthen your counterarguments and make them more convincing.
    • Improved example: "Opponents of this perspective may cite various reasons. They argue that allocating substantial funds to sustain the educational system might limit financial resources for other critical sectors, hindering overall national development. Additionally, concerns about the potential psychological impact on students leading to indifference need more clarity and specific examples to strengthen this counterargument."
  3. Quoted text: "Foremost among these reasons is the increased accessibility of university education to a broader population. To illustrate, the nation will boast a vast pool of highly qualified human resources, propelling it toward becoming a formidable power. A second compelling reason is the substantial reduction in pressure on students and their families. For example, individuals with modest family backgrounds but exceptional intellectual capabilities can now access university education, allowing the nation to leverage their talent."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The main ideas are relevant, but they lack depth. Provide more detailed examples and explanations to fully develop your reasoning. This will strengthen your argument and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
    • Improved example: "Foremost among these reasons is the increased accessibility of university education to a broader population. To illustrate, the nation will boast a vast pool of highly qualified human resources, propelling it toward becoming a formidable power. For instance, talented individuals from rural areas with limited financial means can pursue higher education, contributing their unique perspectives to the nation’s intellectual wealth. A second compelling reason is the substantial reduction in pressure on students and their families. For example, individuals with modest family backgrounds but exceptional intellectual capabilities can now access university education, allowing the nation to leverage their talent effectively."

Overall, while the essay addresses the task and maintains a clear position, it needs improvement in providing a concise roadmap in the introduction, enhancing the development of counterarguments, and adding depth to the main ideas in the body paragraphs.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
This essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion overall. The progression of ideas is logical, moving from presenting opposing viewpoints to supporting the author’s stance effectively. The essay is structured with clear paragraphs, each containing a central topic related to the argument. The use of cohesive devices is fairly varied and appropriate, aiding in the flow of the essay.

How to improve:
To enhance coherence and cohesion further, consider refining the connection between sentences within paragraphs. While the essay effectively uses cohesive devices, a more seamless transition between ideas within and between sentences could elevate the overall coherence. Additionally, ensuring consistent and strategic paragraphing throughout the essay would strengthen its structural clarity.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a commendable command of vocabulary, showcasing a wide range of words used fluently and flexibly. The language is sophisticated and natural, contributing to a cohesive and well-articulated argument. The writer skillfully employs uncommon lexical items, and any errors in word choice or collocation are rare and minor, only occurring as ‘slips.’ The essay effectively conveys precise meanings, and the vocabulary enhances the overall quality of expression.

How to improve:
To further enhance lexical resource, consider incorporating a few more high-level and contextually fitting vocabulary words. Additionally, pay attention to the nuanced use of uncommon lexical items, ensuring their accuracy and appropriateness in the given context. Continue to focus on maintaining the high standard of vocabulary throughout the essay, and strive for even greater precision in conveying meanings.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a wide range of sentence structures with full flexibility and accuracy. The majority of sentences are error-free, and the writer effectively employs complex structures to convey ideas. The essay maintains a high level of grammatical control and punctuation accuracy, with only very occasional errors or inappropriacies.

How to improve: While the essay is strong in grammatical range and accuracy, it could benefit from providing more specific examples to support the points made. Adding concrete instances would enhance the depth and clarity of the arguments presented. Additionally, ensuring a smoother transition between paragraphs would further improve the overall cohesion of the essay. Overall, maintaining the current grammatical excellence while enhancing content and flow will contribute to achieving an even higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is widely accepted that governments should cover the full course fees for students seeking higher education. While I understand the rationale behind this proposal, I firmly support it for several reasons.

Opponents of this viewpoint may cite various reasons. They may argue that allocating substantial funds to sustain the educational system could deplete financial resources available for investment in other sectors. As a result, the nation may forego opportunities for development, and the standard of living for residents may not be enhanced. Another conceivable argument suggests that psychology significantly influences students, potentially leading to their indifference. Nevertheless, I maintain my position that the government should cover the entire cost of tuition for students pursuing higher education, and I have several reasons to support this stance.

Chief among these reasons is the enhanced accessibility of university education to a broader population. To illustrate, the nation will boast a vast pool of highly qualified human resources, propelling it toward becoming a formidable power. A second compelling rationale is the significant alleviation of pressure on students and their families. For instance, individuals from modest family backgrounds with exceptional intellectual capabilities can now access university education, enabling the nation to leverage their talents.

In conclusion, while it is understandable that some individuals may not support the notion of governmental coverage of full tuition fees for university education, I steadfastly endorse this proposal based on the aforementioned reasons.

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