Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

In today’s globalized world, the debate over whether children should be taught the literature of their own country or that of other countries has become more prominent. While some argue that national literature is essential, I believe that exposing children to a diverse range of literary works from around the world is more beneficial.

Firstly, understanding one's own national literature fosters a sense of cultural identity and pride. For instance, Vietnamese students learning about Nguyen Du’s “The Tale of Kieu” can develop a deep appreciation for their heritage and history. This connection to one’s roots can provide a stable foundation for personal development.

However, focusing solely on national literature may limit students' perspectives. In an interconnected world, it is crucial to understand and appreciate other cultures. By reading international literature, students can develop empathy and a broader worldview. For example, reading works by Shakespeare, Mark Twain, or Gabriel Garcia Marquez can offer insights into different societal norms and values, enhancing global awareness.

Moreover, international literature can enrich students' language skills. Exposure to various writing styles and vocabularies improves linguistic proficiency. This is especially important in today's competitive job market, where proficiency in English and other languages is highly valued.

In conclusion, while national literature is significant for cultural identity, incorporating international literature into the curriculum offers broader educational benefits. It prepares students to thrive in a globalized society by fostering empathy, enhancing language skills, and broadening their perspectives. Therefore, a balanced approach that includes both national and international literature would be most advantageous for students' overall development.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In today’s globalized world" -> "In the contemporary globalized world"
Explanation: The phrase "In today’s globalized world" is somewhat informal and vague. "In the contemporary globalized world" provides a more precise and formal temporal reference, enhancing the academic tone of the essay.
"the debate over whether" -> "the controversy surrounding"
Explanation: "The debate over whether" is somewhat informal and can be replaced with "the controversy surrounding" to elevate the formality and specificity of the language used.
"I believe" -> "it is argued"
Explanation: The use of "I believe" introduces a personal opinion, which is less suitable for academic writing. "It is argued" shifts the focus to the argumentative aspect, aligning better with an academic tone.
"more beneficial" -> "more advantageous"
Explanation: "More beneficial" is somewhat informal and vague. "More advantageous" is more precise and formal, fitting the academic style better.
"For instance" -> "For example"
Explanation: "For instance" is less formal than "For example," which is the standard term in academic writing for introducing specific examples.
"can develop a deep appreciation" -> "may cultivate a profound appreciation"
Explanation: "Can develop" is somewhat informal and vague. "May cultivate" is more precise and formal, suggesting a process that is not guaranteed but possible.
"This connection to one’s roots" -> "This connection to their cultural heritage"
Explanation: "One’s roots" is somewhat informal and vague. "Their cultural heritage" is more specific and formal, enhancing the academic tone.
"fosters a sense of cultural identity and pride" -> "promotes a sense of cultural identity and national pride"
Explanation: "Fosters" is less formal than "promotes," and "cultural identity" could be more specific to "national pride" to emphasize the national aspect, which is more relevant to the context.
"limit students’ perspectives" -> "narrow students’ perspectives"
Explanation: "Limit" can imply a restriction, which might be too strong. "Narrow" is more neutral and accurately describes the potential effect on perspectives.
"it is crucial to understand and appreciate" -> "it is essential to comprehend and appreciate"
Explanation: "It is crucial" is slightly informal and less precise than "it is essential," which is more formal and academically appropriate.
"reading works by" -> "studying the works of"
Explanation: "Reading works by" is informal and vague. "Studying the works of" is more formal and precise, fitting the academic context better.
"enhancing global awareness" -> "enhancing global understanding"
Explanation: "Awareness" can be too broad and informal for academic writing. "Understanding" is more specific and appropriate for describing the depth of comprehension in an academic context.
"enrich students’ language skills" -> "enhance students’ linguistic proficiency"
Explanation: "Enrich" is somewhat vague and informal. "Enhance" is more precise and formal, and "linguistic proficiency" is a more specific term than "language skills" in academic contexts.
"highly valued" -> "highly regarded"
Explanation: "Highly valued" is slightly informal and less precise. "Highly regarded" is more formal and suitable for academic writing.
"a balanced approach" -> "a balanced curriculum"
Explanation: "Approach" is too vague and informal for this context. "Curriculum" is the correct term for referring to the educational content and structure, making it more precise and formal.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by presenting a clear argument in favor of exposing children to international literature while acknowledging the importance of national literature. The introduction sets the stage for the discussion, and each body paragraph explores different facets of the argument. The essay discusses the benefits of national literature, such as cultural identity, and contrasts this with the advantages of international literature, including empathy and language skills. This balanced approach ensures that all aspects of the prompt are covered.
- How to improve: To enhance the response further, the essay could explicitly state the degree of agreement or disagreement with the prompt in the introduction and conclusion. For example, the author could clarify whether they believe international literature should be prioritized over national literature or if they advocate for equal emphasis on both. This would provide a more definitive stance and strengthen the overall argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, advocating for the inclusion of international literature while recognizing the value of national literature. The use of phrases like "I believe" and "while national literature is significant" clearly signals the author’s stance. The structure of the essay supports this position, with each paragraph reinforcing the argument for a diverse literary curriculum.
- How to improve: To further solidify the position, the author could use stronger transitional phrases to connect ideas and reinforce their viewpoint. For example, explicitly stating how each point contributes to the overall argument for international literature could enhance coherence and clarity.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas well, using relevant examples such as Vietnamese literature and notable international authors. The discussion on cultural identity and language skills is well-developed, providing a solid foundation for the argument. Each point is clearly articulated and logically follows from the previous one, demonstrating a good flow of ideas.
- How to improve: To improve the depth of the argument, the author could include more specific examples or data to support claims. For instance, citing studies or statistics on the impact of literature on empathy or language acquisition would provide additional credibility and depth to the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay stays focused on the topic throughout, with each paragraph directly addressing the question of whether national or international literature is more important. There are no significant deviations from the topic, and the discussion remains relevant to the prompt.
- How to improve: While the essay is generally on topic, the author could enhance focus by briefly summarizing the main points in the conclusion. This would reinforce the relevance of each argument to the prompt and help the reader clearly see how each point ties back to the central question.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. With minor adjustments to clarify the position, deepen the support for ideas, and reinforce focus, the essay could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the debate and the writer’s position. Each paragraph develops a distinct point that supports the thesis. For instance, the first body paragraph emphasizes the importance of national literature for cultural identity, while the second argues for the necessity of international literature in fostering broader perspectives. The progression from one idea to the next is smooth, allowing the reader to follow the argument easily.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization further, the writer could consider using more explicit signposting phrases to guide the reader through the argument. For example, phrases like "On the other hand" or "In addition" can help clarify the relationship between contrasting ideas or additional points.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The introduction and conclusion are well-defined, and the body paragraphs are structured around clear main ideas. However, the transitions between paragraphs could be more pronounced to reinforce the connections between the points made.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, the writer could add transitional sentences at the end of each paragraph that briefly summarize the main point and hint at the next paragraph’s focus. This would create a more cohesive flow and help the reader understand how each point builds on the previous one.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "However," and "Moreover," which help to connect ideas and indicate the structure of the argument. The use of examples, such as specific authors and works, also aids in creating cohesion within the text. However, the range of cohesive devices used could be expanded to enhance the sophistication of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer could incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "In contrast," "Consequently," and "For instance," to avoid repetition and enhance the fluidity of the text. Additionally, using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas can help maintain cohesion without over-relying on the same phrases.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, effectively organizing ideas and using cohesive devices to support the argument. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further elevate the clarity and sophistication of their writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. Terms such as "globalized," "cultural identity," "empathy," and "linguistic proficiency" showcase the writer’s ability to employ varied and sophisticated language. Additionally, the use of literary references (e.g., "The Tale of Kieu," "Shakespeare," "Mark Twain") adds depth and specificity to the argument. However, while the vocabulary is generally varied, there are moments where synonyms or alternative expressions could enhance the richness of the text, particularly in repetitive phrases like "national literature" and "international literature."
- How to improve: To further enhance lexical variety, consider using synonyms or paraphrasing to avoid repetition. For example, instead of repeatedly using "national literature," phrases like "domestic literary works" or "homegrown literature" could be employed. This will not only diversify the vocabulary but also maintain reader engagement.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with precision, effectively conveying the intended meaning. Phrases such as "fosters a sense of cultural identity" and "enhancing global awareness" are well-chosen and contextually appropriate. However, the phrase "a stable foundation for personal development" could be seen as somewhat vague; while it conveys a positive idea, it lacks specificity regarding what aspects of personal development are being referenced.
- How to improve: To improve precision, consider elaborating on vague phrases. For instance, instead of "a stable foundation for personal development," you might specify "a stable foundation for self-esteem and cultural understanding." This not only clarifies the meaning but also strengthens the argument.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words are spelled correctly throughout, which contributes positively to the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing. This level of accuracy is essential for achieving a high band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.
- How to improve: Although spelling is accurate, it is always beneficial to engage in regular reading and writing exercises to maintain and enhance spelling skills. Additionally, utilizing tools such as spell checkers or proofreading can help catch any inadvertent errors in future writings.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong command of vocabulary with a few areas for improvement. By diversifying vocabulary usage, enhancing precision in word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can further solidify their lexical resource skills and potentially achieve an even higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences, such as "While some argue that national literature is essential, I believe that exposing children to a diverse range of literary works from around the world is more beneficial," showcases the writer’s ability to connect ideas effectively. Additionally, the essay includes compound sentences and varied sentence openings, which contribute to a more engaging reading experience. However, there are instances of simpler sentence structures that could be enhanced, such as the phrase "This connection to one’s roots can provide a stable foundation for personal development," which could be rephrased to include more complexity.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, the writer could incorporate more complex clauses and varied sentence lengths. For example, instead of stating "This connection to one’s roots can provide a stable foundation for personal development," the writer might say, "This profound connection to one’s roots not only fosters a sense of belonging but also provides a stable foundation for personal development." Additionally, experimenting with different sentence types, such as rhetorical questions or conditional sentences, could enhance the overall complexity and interest of the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors present. For example, the phrase "the debate over whether children should be taught the literature of their own country or that of other countries has become more prominent" is correctly structured, demonstrating proper use of relative clauses and conjunctions. Punctuation is also effectively employed, with commas used correctly to separate clauses and enhance readability. However, there is a slight inconsistency in the use of commas in lists; for instance, "Shakespeare, Mark Twain, or Gabriel Garcia Marquez" is correctly punctuated, but the writer might consider using the Oxford comma for clarity.
- How to improve: To further improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should review the essay for any potential comma splice errors or run-on sentences. Practicing punctuation rules, especially regarding lists and complex sentences, can help refine this aspect. Additionally, the writer might benefit from revisiting subject-verb agreement in more complex sentences to ensure clarity. Regularly reading high-quality literature can also help reinforce correct grammatical structures and punctuation usage.

Bài sửa mẫu

In today’s globalized world, the controversy surrounding whether children should be taught the literature of their own country or that of other countries has become more prominent. While some argue that national literature is essential, I believe that exposing children to a diverse range of literary works from around the world is more beneficial.

Firstly, understanding one’s own national literature fosters a sense of cultural identity and pride. For example, Vietnamese students learning about Nguyen Du’s “The Tale of Kieu” may cultivate a profound appreciation for their heritage and history. This connection to their cultural heritage can provide a stable foundation for personal development.

However, focusing solely on national literature may narrow students’ perspectives. In an interconnected world, it is essential to comprehend and appreciate other cultures. By reading international literature, students can develop empathy and a broader worldview. For instance, studying the works of Shakespeare, Mark Twain, or Gabriel Garcia Marquez can offer insights into different societal norms and values, enhancing global understanding.

Moreover, international literature can enhance students’ linguistic proficiency. Exposure to various writing styles and vocabularies improves language skills. This is especially important in today’s competitive job market, where proficiency in English and other languages is highly regarded.

In conclusion, while national literature is significant for cultural identity, incorporating international literature into the curriculum offers broader educational benefits. It prepares students to thrive in a globalized society by fostering empathy, enhancing language skills, and broadening their perspectives. Therefore, a balanced curriculum that includes both national and international literature would be most advantageous for students’ overall development.