Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is a widespread assumption that qualified professions should be forced to work in the country where they accomplished their training. Others argue that they should be given the right to decide where to start their career. In my perspectives, I am acknowledge with the latter notion for many reasons.
On one hand, serve in the mother-born country is frequently be regarded as a action of patriotism. People argue that taxes have been used to provide the students with high-qualified education. So in return, the professions have the responsibility to contribute to the development of the mother country. Moreover, some countries are facing up to the shortage in workforce like Japan or Germany. Oblige people to dedicate for their countries can capable of addressing this issue.
On the other hand, restricting the right to choose the working environment fundamentally goes against the liberation of human beings. Do away with this human right can cause aggression among the public as they may feel they are being taken advantaged of. Consequently, suffering the discontent, the workers tent to be less productive and lose the ambition to devote for achievements. In addition, even when going abroad, professions can play a major role in enhancing their motherland by sharing their knowledge and experiences. As they are entitled to look into and accumulate knowledge about advanced aspects , catch on with worldwide ground-breaking. For instance, after leaving France to return to his nation, Tran Dai Nghia had brought about an admirable amount of breakthroughs for the Vietnamese due to his expertise in machinery field.
To sum up, although compel individuals to serve for motherland may result in some short term consequences, this action can lead to repercussions. Thus, the liberation to choose the working environment is vital and can have positive influence in some aspects.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"qualified professions" -> "professionals with advanced qualifications"
Explanation: The term "professionals with advanced qualifications" is more specific and formal, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"forced to work" -> "required to work"
Explanation: "Required to work" is a more formal and precise term than "forced to work," which can carry a negative connotation.
"in the country where they accomplished their training" -> "in the country where they completed their training"
Explanation: "Completed" is a more precise and formal term than "accomplished," which can imply achievement beyond mere completion.
"In my perspectives" -> "From my perspective"
Explanation: "From my perspective" is the correct idiomatic expression, whereas "In my perspectives" is grammatically incorrect.
"serve in the mother-born country" -> "serve in their country of origin"
Explanation: "Country of origin" is a more formal and precise term than "mother-born country," which is colloquial and unclear.
"is frequently be regarded as a action of patriotism" -> "is often regarded as an act of patriotism"
Explanation: "Act" is the correct noun form, and "often" is more appropriate than "frequently" in this context.
"So in return, the professions have the responsibility" -> "Therefore, professionals have a responsibility"
Explanation: "Therefore" is a more formal transitional word than "So," and "professionals" is the correct plural form.
"Oblige people to dedicate for their countries" -> "Require professionals to dedicate to their countries"
Explanation: "Require" is more formal than "Oblige," and "dedicate to" is the correct prepositional phrase.
"can capable of addressing" -> "can address"
Explanation: "Can capable of addressing" is grammatically incorrect; "can address" is the correct form.
"Do away with this human right" -> "Eliminate this human right"
Explanation: "Eliminate" is a more formal and precise term than "Do away with," which is somewhat colloquial.
"taken advantaged of" -> "taken advantage of"
Explanation: "Taken advantage of" is the correct idiomatic expression.
"tent to be less productive" -> "tend to be less productive"
Explanation: "Tend" is the correct verb form, not "tent."
"lose the ambition to devote for achievements" -> "lose the ambition to achieve"
Explanation: "Achieve" is the correct verb form, and "devote for" is grammatically incorrect.
"even when going abroad, professions can play a major role" -> "even when working abroad, professionals can play a significant role"
Explanation: "Working abroad" is more specific than "going abroad," and "significant" is more formal than "major."
"entitled to look into and accumulate knowledge about advanced aspects" -> "entitled to explore and accumulate knowledge of advanced aspects"
Explanation: "Explore" is more precise than "look into," and "knowledge of" is grammatically correct.
"catch on with worldwide ground-breaking" -> "stay abreast of global breakthroughs"
Explanation: "Stay abreast of" is a more formal expression, and "global breakthroughs" is more precise than "worldwide ground-breaking."
"Tran Dai Nghia had brought about an admirable amount of breakthroughs" -> "Tran Dai Nghia brought about numerous breakthroughs"
Explanation: "Numerous" is more precise and formal than "an admirable amount," which is vague and informal.
"compel individuals to serve for motherland" -> "compel individuals to serve their homeland"
Explanation: "Homeland" is the correct noun form, and "serve their" is grammatically correct.
"can lead to repercussions" -> "can have repercussions"
Explanation: "Have repercussions" is a more natural and formal way to express the potential consequences.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both views regarding whether professionals should work in the country where they trained or have the freedom to choose their workplace. The first viewpoint is presented in the first body paragraph, where the author discusses the idea of patriotism and the obligation to contribute to the country that funded their education. The second viewpoint is articulated in the second body paragraph, emphasizing individual freedom and the potential benefits of professionals working abroad. However, while both sides are discussed, the essay could benefit from a more balanced exploration of each perspective, particularly in terms of depth and nuance.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the author should aim to provide more specific examples and evidence for both viewpoints. This could involve discussing potential benefits for the home country if professionals work abroad, as well as the implications of a lack of professionals in their home countries. Additionally, a clearer articulation of the author’s opinion, supported by examples, would strengthen the response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The author states their position in favor of allowing professionals the freedom to choose their working environment. However, the clarity of this position is somewhat undermined by the phrasing and structure of the argument. For instance, the phrase "I am acknowledge with the latter notion" is awkward and could confuse readers about the author’s stance. Furthermore, the conclusion reiterates the importance of freedom but does not explicitly restate the author’s opinion in a strong, clear manner.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the author should use straightforward language to express their opinion. Phrases like "I believe" or "In my opinion" can help clarify the author’s stance. Additionally, reinforcing the position in the conclusion with a strong statement that encapsulates the argument would enhance clarity.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas related to both sides of the argument, but the development and support of these ideas could be improved. For example, while the author mentions that professionals working abroad can benefit their home country, this idea is not fully developed or supported with concrete examples. The use of a historical example (Tran Dai Nghia) is a good attempt at supporting the argument, but it could be more effectively integrated into the overall discussion.
- How to improve: To strengthen the presentation and support of ideas, the author should aim to provide more detailed examples and explanations for each point made. This could involve discussing specific cases where professionals have contributed to their home countries after working abroad or elaborating on the potential negative impacts of restricting professionals’ choices.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the prompt directly. However, there are moments where the connection to the main argument could be clearer. For instance, the discussion about patriotism and workforce shortages is relevant but could be tied back more explicitly to the implications of restricting professionals’ choices.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that each point made directly relates back to the central question of the prompt. This can be achieved by explicitly linking each argument back to the implications of either allowing or restricting professionals’ freedom to choose their working environment. Regularly referencing the prompt throughout the essay can help reinforce the topic’s relevance.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the task and presents relevant arguments, there are areas for improvement in clarity, depth of analysis, and the integration of supporting examples. By addressing these aspects, the author can enhance the overall effectiveness of their response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs discussing opposing views, and a conclusion. The arguments are logically sequenced, with the first paragraph addressing the viewpoint that professionals should work in their training country and the second paragraph countering that perspective. However, some ideas within paragraphs could be better connected. For instance, the transition from discussing patriotism to workforce shortages lacks a clear link, which can confuse readers about how these points relate to each other.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clearer topic sentences that encapsulate the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, employ transitional phrases to connect related ideas within and between paragraphs, such as "Furthermore," or "In contrast," to guide the reader through the argumentation more smoothly.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct argument, making it easier for the reader to follow the discussion. However, the paragraphs could benefit from more uniformity in length and depth. The first body paragraph is relatively short and could be expanded with more examples or elaboration on the points made.
- How to improve: Aim for a more balanced development of paragraphs by ensuring that each one has sufficient detail and examples to support its main idea. Consider adding a few more sentences to the first body paragraph to elaborate on the points about patriotism and workforce shortages. This will create a more cohesive and thorough discussion.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "On one hand" and "On the other hand," which help to delineate opposing views. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between ideas could be strengthened. For example, phrases like "Moreover" and "In addition" are used, but there are opportunities to incorporate a wider variety of cohesive devices to enhance the flow of ideas.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a range of linking words and phrases throughout the essay. For instance, use "Additionally," "Consequently," or "As a result" to connect ideas more fluidly. Also, consider using pronouns or synonyms to avoid repetition and create smoother transitions between sentences. This will not only improve cohesion but also make the writing more engaging.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the overall band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable attempt to use a variety of vocabulary. Phrases such as "qualified professions," "patriotism," and "shortage in workforce" show an effort to incorporate relevant terminology related to the topic. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of repetitive language, such as using "country" multiple times without synonyms or variations.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer could incorporate synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "country," alternatives like "nation," "state," or "homeland" could be employed. Additionally, using more advanced vocabulary, such as "national service" instead of "serve in the mother-born country," would elevate the lexical sophistication.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that detract from the clarity of the essay. For example, the phrase "I am acknowledge with the latter notion" is incorrect; it should be "I acknowledge the latter notion." Similarly, "serve in the mother-born country" is awkwardly phrased and could be more clearly expressed as "serve in their home country." The phrase "can capable of addressing this issue" is also incorrect; it should be "can be capable of addressing this issue."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and clarity in expression. Practicing sentence structure and reviewing common phrases would help. Additionally, using a thesaurus to find more precise words can enhance clarity. For instance, replacing "oblige people to dedicate" with "requiring individuals to dedicate" would improve the precision of the statement.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "accomplished" (correct spelling) and "high-qualified" (should be "high-quality"). The phrase "mother-born" is also awkward and not standard; "home country" would be more appropriate. Additionally, "suffering the discontent" should be "suffering from discontent," which reflects both a spelling and grammatical issue.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as writing exercises that focus on commonly misspelled words. Utilizing spell-check tools and proofreading the essay before submission can also help catch errors. Reading more extensively can improve familiarity with correct spelling and usage in context.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of vocabulary related to the topic, there are significant areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling. By focusing on these aspects, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of "On one hand" and "On the other hand" introduces contrasting ideas effectively. However, the range is somewhat limited, and many sentences are either overly simplistic or awkwardly constructed. Phrases like "serve in the mother-born country is frequently be regarded as a action of patriotism" show a lack of fluency and naturalness in expression. Additionally, the use of "can capable of addressing this issue" is grammatically incorrect and detracts from the overall coherence of the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of structures, the writer should practice using more complex sentences that combine clauses effectively. For instance, instead of saying "Oblige people to dedicate for their countries can capable of addressing this issue," a more effective structure could be "Obliging professionals to dedicate their services to their home countries can help address workforce shortages." Additionally, incorporating more varied transitional phrases and sentence starters can improve the flow and cohesion of the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder clarity. For example, "I am acknowledge with the latter notion" should be "I acknowledge the latter notion." The phrase "serve in the mother-born country is frequently be regarded as a action of patriotism" contains multiple errors, including incorrect verb forms and articles. Furthermore, punctuation errors, such as missing commas in complex sentences, contribute to a lack of clarity. The sentence "As they are entitled to look into and accumulate knowledge about advanced aspects , catch on with worldwide ground-breaking" is particularly problematic due to its awkward phrasing and incorrect punctuation.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and proper article usage. Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on written work can be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading for punctuation errors, especially in complex sentences, will enhance overall clarity. Reading more academic essays can also help the writer internalize correct grammar and punctuation usage.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates some understanding of the topic and presents both sides of the argument, significant improvements in grammatical range, accuracy, and sentence structure are necessary to achieve a higher band score. Regular practice, feedback, and careful proofreading will be essential for the writer’s development.

Bài sửa mẫu

There is a widespread assumption that qualified professionals should be forced to work in the country where they completed their training. Others argue that they should be given the right to decide where to start their careers. From my perspective, I acknowledge the latter notion for many reasons.

On one hand, serving in the country of birth is frequently regarded as an act of patriotism. People argue that taxes have been used to provide students with high-quality education. So in return, professionals have the responsibility to contribute to the development of their home country. Moreover, some countries are facing a shortage in the workforce, like Japan or Germany. Requiring people to dedicate themselves to their countries can address this issue.

On the other hand, restricting the right to choose the working environment fundamentally goes against the freedom of individuals. Eliminating this human right can cause aggression among the public, as they may feel they are being taken advantage of. Consequently, suffering from discontent, workers tend to be less productive and lose the ambition to achieve. In addition, even when working abroad, professionals can play a significant role in enhancing their homeland by sharing their knowledge and experiences. They are entitled to explore and accumulate knowledge about advanced aspects and stay abreast of global breakthroughs. For instance, after leaving France to return to his nation, Tran Dai Nghia brought about numerous breakthroughs for Vietnam due to his expertise in the machinery field.

To sum up, although compelling individuals to serve their homeland may result in some short-term consequences, this action can lead to repercussions. Thus, the freedom to choose the working environment is vital and can have a positive influence in many aspects.