some people believe that robots will play an important role in future societies, while others argue that robots might have negative effects on society . discuss both views and give your opinion.
some people believe that robots will play an important role in future societies, while others argue that robots might have negative effects on society . discuss both views and give your opinion.
Robots are essential for modern life. Some people believe that robots will play an indispensable role in the future while others argue that they may have dangerous consequences. This essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my opinion.
One argument is that robots in society highlight the numerous benefits they bring. Firstly, robots in manufacturing provides productivity efficiency and accuracy. To cite an example, robots in factories can perform repetitive tasks faster and more precisely than humans, leading to better product quality. Secondly, in healthcare robots will help doctors complete a number of tasks to find diseases in patients and provide quick and accurate results. For instance, Da Vinci robot of Renaissance robot have are robots that are being prominently used in healthcare. Moreover, robots can help people with some tasks in daily life such as cleaning the house or helping students solve difficult homework.
On the other hand, many believe that robots can lead to some issues. One major concern is robots can become more useful and be purchased by companies to use clue to it will help create fast and precise results which lead to increased unemployment rates. Furthermore, the robots will not have flexibility because the thing they do are pre-programmed by humans and the risk of information leaks when using robots are also very high as it does not have the function of protecting human information. For example, Chat Bot. This is an app that can answer almost people’s questions; however, its accuracy and professionalism are not high. Especially, any information that we provide can not be guaranteed and can be faked any time.
To conclude, to the arguments mentioned above, one can reach to a gist that the benefits and drawbacks of bots are inclined to great to ignore.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"Robots are essential for modern life." -> "Robots are crucial in modern society."
Explanation: Replacing "essential" with "crucial" enhances the formality and specificity of the statement, aligning better with academic language. Additionally, "in modern society" is more precise than "for modern life," which is somewhat vague. -
"Some people believe" -> "Some individuals contend"
Explanation: "Contend" is a more formal and academically appropriate term than "believe," which is somewhat casual and vague in this context. -
"indispensable role" -> "indispensable function"
Explanation: "Function" is more specific and academically precise than "role," which can be used in a broader sense. -
"robots in society highlight the numerous benefits they bring" -> "robots in society underscore numerous benefits they offer"
Explanation: "Underscore" is more formal and precise than "highlight," and "offer" is more specific than "bring," which is somewhat vague in this context. -
"robots in manufacturing provides" -> "robots in manufacturing provide"
Explanation: Corrects the verb agreement from singular to plural to match the subject "robots." -
"robots will help doctors complete a number of tasks to find diseases in patients" -> "robots will assist doctors in identifying various diseases in patients"
Explanation: "Assist" is more precise than "help," and "identifying various diseases" is more specific than "complete a number of tasks to find diseases," which is awkwardly phrased. -
"Da Vinci robot of Renaissance robot have are robots" -> "Da Vinci robots, a type of Renaissance robot, are utilized"
Explanation: Corrects the grammatical errors and clarifies the meaning by specifying that Da Vinci robots are a type of Renaissance robot and that they are utilized, which is more formal and precise. -
"robots can help people with some tasks in daily life such as cleaning the house or helping students solve difficult homework" -> "robots can assist individuals with various tasks, including household chores and complex homework assignments"
Explanation: "Assist" is more formal than "help," and "various tasks, including" is more precise than "some tasks in daily life such as." Additionally, "household chores" and "complex homework assignments" are more specific and formal terms. -
"robots can lead to some issues" -> "robots may pose certain challenges"
Explanation: "Pose certain challenges" is a more formal and precise way to express potential negative outcomes than "lead to some issues," which is vague. -
"robots can become more useful and be purchased by companies to use clue to it will help create fast and precise results" -> "robots may become more efficient and be acquired by companies to leverage their capabilities for rapid and precise results"
Explanation: "May become more efficient" and "be acquired to leverage their capabilities" are more precise and formal than "can become more useful and be purchased to use clue to it will help create." The phrase "leverage their capabilities" is also more specific and academically appropriate than "help create." -
"the thing they do are pre-programmed by humans" -> "the actions they perform are pre-programmed by humans"
Explanation: "Actions" is more specific and formal than "the thing they do," and "are" corrects the verb agreement. -
"the risk of information leaks when using robots are also very high" -> "the risk of information breaches when utilizing robots is also significant"
Explanation: "Breaches" is a more precise term than "leaks," and "is" corrects the verb agreement. "Significant" is also more formal than "very high." -
"Chat Bot" -> "Chatbot"
Explanation: "Chatbot" is the correct term for this type of software, and it should be written as one word. -
"can answer almost people’s questions" -> "can answer nearly all users’ questions"
Explanation: "Nearly all" is more precise than "almost," and "users" is more specific than "people," which is too general in this context. -
"can not be guaranteed and can be faked any time" -> "cannot be guaranteed and may be falsified at any time"
Explanation: "Cannot" is the correct form of "can not," and "may be falsified" is more formal and precise than "can be faked," which is colloquial.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Task Response: 6
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both views regarding the role of robots in future societies, discussing the benefits in manufacturing and healthcare, as well as the potential negative impacts such as unemployment and information security. However, the discussion lacks depth in exploring the negative effects, particularly in terms of societal implications. The mention of "Chat Bot" is vague and does not effectively illustrate the argument against robots.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay should provide a more balanced exploration of both perspectives. This could include more specific examples of negative societal impacts, such as ethical concerns or the potential for increased dependency on technology. Additionally, a clearer distinction between the two views could be established by using separate paragraphs for each perspective.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a position that acknowledges both sides but lacks a strong, clear opinion. The conclusion attempts to summarize the argument but does not clearly state the writer’s stance on the issue. Phrases like "to the arguments mentioned above" and "one can reach to a gist" are vague and do not convey a definitive viewpoint.
- How to improve: To improve clarity of position, the writer should explicitly state their opinion in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. Using phrases like "I believe" or "In my opinion" can help solidify the writer’s stance. Additionally, providing a brief rationale for this opinion in the conclusion would strengthen the overall argument.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas, such as the efficiency of robots in manufacturing and healthcare, but these points are not fully developed. For instance, the example of the Da Vinci robot is introduced but not elaborated upon, leaving the reader wanting more information. The negative aspects are also mentioned but lack substantial support or examples.
- How to improve: To enhance the development of ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples and explanations. Each point made should be followed by a brief elaboration or evidence to support it. This could include statistics, studies, or more specific case studies related to the use of robots in various sectors.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the role of robots in society. However, there are moments where the focus wavers, particularly in the section discussing the negative effects. The mention of "Chat Bot" feels out of place and does not directly relate to the broader argument about robots in society.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all examples and points directly relate to the prompt. Avoid introducing concepts that do not clearly tie back to the main argument. A clear outline before writing can help in organizing thoughts and ensuring that each paragraph contributes to the overall discussion.
In summary, while the essay meets the basic requirements of the task, there is significant room for improvement in depth, clarity, and coherence. By addressing these areas, the writer can enhance their score in the Task Response criterion.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and states the intention to discuss both views. Each viewpoint is addressed in separate paragraphs, which helps in maintaining a logical flow. However, the transition between the benefits and drawbacks could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing the advantages of robots in manufacturing to the disadvantages lacks a clear linking statement that would guide the reader more effectively.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases at the beginning of each paragraph that signal a shift in perspective. For example, phrases like "Conversely," or "On the contrary," can help clarify that the discussion is moving from one viewpoint to another. Additionally, summarizing the main points at the end of each paragraph can reinforce the logical progression of ideas.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The introduction sets the stage, while the body paragraphs delve into the benefits and drawbacks of robots. However, there are instances where the paragraphs could be more clearly defined. For example, the second paragraph discusses multiple benefits but could be broken down into smaller sections for better clarity and focus.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, aim to have a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph that encapsulates the main idea. Consider breaking longer paragraphs into smaller ones, especially when introducing multiple points. This will not only enhance readability but also allow for more in-depth exploration of each point.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "On the other hand," which help in guiding the reader through the arguments. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where connections between ideas could be strengthened. For example, the phrase "For example" is used, but additional linking words or phrases could enhance the flow between sentences and ideas.
- How to improve: To diversify and effectively use cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "In addition," "Moreover," or "Furthermore" to connect similar ideas, and "However," "Nevertheless," or "Conversely" to introduce contrasting points. Additionally, consider using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas, which can help in maintaining cohesion throughout the essay.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents arguments in a coherent manner, focusing on the suggestions provided can elevate the clarity and effectiveness of the writing, potentially leading to a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "indispensable," "productivity efficiency," and "healthcare robots." However, the use of vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive, particularly in phrases like "robots in society" and "robots can help." This lack of variety can detract from the overall quality of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "robots," they might use "automated systems," "mechanical assistants," or "artificial intelligence." Additionally, varying sentence structures and employing more sophisticated vocabulary would elevate the essay’s overall quality.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While some vocabulary is used correctly, there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "robots in manufacturing provides productivity efficiency" contains a subject-verb agreement error ("provides" should be "provide"). Additionally, the term "the robots will not have flexibility" could be clearer if rephrased to specify that robots lack adaptability in their programmed tasks.
- How to improve: The writer should focus on ensuring grammatical accuracy and clarity in word choice. For example, instead of saying "the robots will not have flexibility," they could say, "robots lack the ability to adapt to unforeseen circumstances." Furthermore, reviewing vocabulary in context and ensuring that it fits the intended meaning will enhance precision.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors that detract from its professionalism. For instance, "Da Vinci robot of Renaissance robot have are robots" is confusing and contains errors. Additionally, "Chat Bot" should be consistently written as "Chatbot," and "can not" should be corrected to "cannot."
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, perhaps reading it aloud to catch errors. Utilizing spell-check tools and maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words can also be beneficial. Practicing writing regularly and reviewing spelling rules will contribute to greater accuracy in future essays.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of vocabulary, there are clear areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these aspects, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future IELTS assessments.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the sentence "One argument is that robots in society highlight the numerous benefits they bring" uses a complex structure effectively. However, many sentences are overly simplistic or repetitive, such as "robots in manufacturing provides productivity efficiency and accuracy," which lacks complexity and variety. Additionally, the use of phrases like "to cite an example" is formulaic and does not contribute to a more sophisticated range of structures.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For instance, instead of "robots in manufacturing provides productivity efficiency and accuracy," a more complex structure could be "While robots in manufacturing provide productivity efficiency and accuracy, they also raise concerns about job displacement." Utilizing varied sentence openings and integrating transitional phrases can also help in creating a more dynamic flow.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and issues with punctuation. For example, "robots in manufacturing provides" should be "robots in manufacturing provide" to ensure subject-verb agreement. Additionally, the phrase "Da Vinci robot of Renaissance robot have are robots" is confusing and grammatically incorrect. Punctuation errors, such as missing commas in complex sentences (e.g., "Secondly, in healthcare robots will help doctors" should have a comma after "healthcare"), further detract from clarity.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that singular and plural forms are used correctly. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those focusing on common errors, can be beneficial. For punctuation, the writer should review the rules for using commas in complex sentences and lists. Reading essays with a focus on grammatical structures can also help in recognizing and correcting mistakes in their own writing.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates some understanding of grammatical structures, there is a need for greater variety and accuracy. By diversifying sentence structures and focusing on grammatical correctness, the writer can improve their score in this criterion.
Bài sửa mẫu
Robots are essential for modern life. Some people believe that robots will play an indispensable role in the future, while others argue that they may have dangerous consequences. This essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my opinion.
One argument is that robots in society underscore the numerous benefits they offer. Firstly, robots in manufacturing provide productivity, efficiency, and accuracy. To cite an example, robots in factories can perform repetitive tasks faster and more precisely than humans, leading to better product quality. Secondly, in healthcare, robots will assist doctors in identifying various diseases in patients and provide quick and accurate results. For instance, Da Vinci robots, a type of Renaissance robot, are utilized prominently in healthcare. Moreover, robots can assist individuals with various tasks in daily life, such as cleaning the house or helping students solve difficult homework assignments.
On the other hand, many believe that robots may pose certain challenges. One major concern is that robots can become more efficient and be acquired by companies to leverage their capabilities for rapid and precise results, which may lead to increased unemployment rates. Furthermore, robots will lack flexibility because the actions they perform are pre-programmed by humans, and the risk of information breaches when utilizing robots is also significant, as they do not have the function of protecting human information. For example, Chatbot is an app that can answer nearly all users’ questions; however, its accuracy and professionalism are not high. Especially, any information that we provide cannot be guaranteed and may be falsified at any time.
To conclude, based on the arguments mentioned above, one can reach the gist that the benefits and drawbacks of robots are too great to ignore.