Some people believe that school children should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.’

It is argued that it is unnecessary for students to be given homework, while other people think that homework has an essential role to play in the education of children. I personally agree with the second group.
On the one hand, there are a number of reasons why teachers should not give homwork to their pupils. The first reason is that students will have no time to relax. In other words, they have to stay up late to do it instead of spending their time with their family and friends. For example, Mai wants to hang out with her friends, but she has to finish her homework. As a result, it instills her a sense of sadness and pressure. Therefore, pupils have a lot of pressure from schoolwork and homework. Another reason is that it has an adverse impact on pupils' health. Students have ability to suffer from various health issues such as fatigue, sleep deprivation,etc. Futhermore, it causes them to have a risk of depression and mental illness.
On the other hand, I personaly believe that homework has a significant impact on the education of children. The first point is that homework helps students consolidate knowledge. They can memorize knowledge better after doing homework. For instance, a student finds out ways to solve Maths exercises, which helps him practice critical thinking. Consequently, they will do an exam well and get higher academic results. Another point is that students will be given access to new knowledge and expertise from homework. Homework provides pupils with a wide range of advanced knowledge. By doing homework, they can widen their knowledge and open their mind. If students diligently complete their homework, they will nurture and enhance their intelligence.
In conclusion, although some people think that it is not essential for school students to do homework, I would argue that pupils should engage in homework assignments.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It is argued that it is unnecessary" -> "It is contended that it is unnecessary"
Explanation: "Contended" is a more precise and formal term than "argued," which enhances the academic tone of the sentence.
"other people think" -> "others contend"
Explanation: "Others contend" is more formal and academically appropriate than "other people think," which is somewhat informal and vague.
"I personally agree" -> "I concur"
Explanation: "Concur" is a more formal synonym for "agree," which is more suitable for academic writing.
"The first reason is that students will have no time to relax" -> "The first reason is that students will have insufficient time for relaxation"
Explanation: "Insufficient time for relaxation" is a more precise and formal way to express the idea that students do not have enough time to relax.
"In other words, they have to stay up late to do it" -> "In other words, they must stay up late to complete it"
Explanation: "Must" is more formal than "have to," and "complete" is more precise than "do it," which is vague and informal.
"spending their time with their family and friends" -> "spending time with their families and friends"
Explanation: Removing "their" before "family and friends" corrects the grammatical error and maintains the formal tone.
"it instills her a sense of sadness and pressure" -> "it instills in her a sense of sadness and pressure"
Explanation: Adding "in" before "her" corrects the prepositional error, making the sentence grammatically correct and more formal.
"pupils have a lot of pressure from schoolwork and homework" -> "pupils experience significant pressure from both schoolwork and homework"
Explanation: "Experience significant pressure" is more precise and formal than "have a lot of pressure," which is vague and informal.
"Students have ability to suffer from various health issues" -> "Students are susceptible to various health issues"
Explanation: "Are susceptible to" is a more precise and formal way to express the potential for students to suffer from health issues.
"Futhermore" -> "Furthermore"
Explanation: "Furthermore" is the correct spelling, enhancing the professionalism of the text.
"I personaly" -> "I personally"
Explanation: Corrects a spelling error, ensuring the text maintains its formal tone.
"helps students consolidate knowledge" -> "facilitates knowledge consolidation in students"
Explanation: "Facilitates knowledge consolidation in students" is a more formal and academically precise phrase than "helps students consolidate knowledge."
"do an exam well" -> "perform well in an exam"
Explanation: "Perform well in an exam" is more formal and precise than "do an exam well," which is somewhat informal and vague.
"get higher academic results" -> "achieve higher academic outcomes"
Explanation: "Achieve higher academic outcomes" is more formal and specific than "get higher academic results," aligning better with academic language standards.
"will be given access to new knowledge and expertise from homework" -> "will gain access to new knowledge and expertise through homework"
Explanation: "Will gain access to" is more formal and precise than "will be given access to," and "through" is more appropriate than "from" in this context.
"open their mind" -> "expand their perspectives"
Explanation: "Expand their perspectives" is a more formal and academically appropriate phrase than "open their mind," which is somewhat colloquial.

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument regarding homework. The first paragraph presents the viewpoint against homework, highlighting issues such as lack of relaxation time and potential health problems. The second paragraph articulates the benefits of homework, emphasizing knowledge consolidation and access to advanced learning. This balanced discussion demonstrates a clear understanding of the prompt.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could provide more specific examples or evidence for each argument presented. For instance, citing studies or statistics related to homework’s impact on mental health or academic performance would strengthen the arguments. Additionally, a more explicit acknowledgment of the counterarguments could improve the depth of the discussion.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position in favor of homework, particularly in the conclusion where the author reiterates their stance. However, the transition between discussing the opposing viewpoint and the author’s opinion could be smoother. The phrase "I personally agree with the second group" is somewhat abrupt and could be better integrated into the flow of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and coherence, the author could use transitional phrases that signal the shift in perspective more effectively. For example, phrases like "Despite these concerns, I believe…" could help to create a more seamless transition between the two viewpoints.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to both the advantages and disadvantages of homework. However, some points, such as the claim that homework helps with critical thinking, could be elaborated further. The examples provided are relevant but could benefit from additional detail or explanation to fully illustrate the points being made.
- How to improve: To enhance the development of ideas, the author should aim to expand on each point with more detailed examples or explanations. For instance, discussing specific types of homework that promote critical thinking or providing a scenario where homework led to improved academic performance could add depth to the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the debate surrounding homework. However, there are minor deviations, such as the mention of "Mai wants to hang out with her friends," which, while relevant, could be more effectively tied back to the broader implications of homework on students’ social lives.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that all examples directly support the main argument. Instead of introducing a specific individual’s experience, the essay could benefit from discussing broader trends or statistics regarding students’ social lives and homework.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. With some improvements in the areas of evidence, transitions, elaboration, and focus, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with distinct sections for both views on homework and the author’s opinion. The introduction effectively sets up the discussion, and the body paragraphs are organized to first present the arguments against homework, followed by those in favor. However, the transition between the two sides could be smoother. For example, the phrase "On the one hand" is followed by a list of reasons against homework, but the transition to "On the other hand" lacks a linking sentence that explicitly contrasts the two perspectives.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider adding transitional phrases that explicitly connect the opposing views. For instance, after discussing the negative impacts of homework, a sentence like "Conversely, proponents of homework argue that it plays a crucial role in reinforcing learning" would help clarify the shift in perspective.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The first body paragraph discusses the reasons against homework, while the second addresses the benefits. However, the paragraphs could be improved by ensuring that each one begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. For instance, the first body paragraph could start with a sentence like "There are several compelling reasons why homework may be detrimental to students’ well-being."
- How to improve: Strengthen the topic sentences of each paragraph to clearly outline the main argument being presented. This will provide readers with a clear roadmap of the essay’s structure and make it easier to follow the argumentation.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "for example," "as a result," and "another reason." However, there is a limited range of cohesive devices used, which can make the writing feel somewhat repetitive. For instance, the phrase "Another reason" is used multiple times, and there are instances where more varied linking words could enhance the flow of ideas.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking phrases such as "Furthermore," "In addition," "Conversely," and "On the contrary." Additionally, using pronouns and synonyms can help avoid repetition. For example, instead of repeating "students," you could use "they" or "pupils" in subsequent sentences to maintain cohesion without redundancy.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments. By focusing on improving transitions, strengthening topic sentences, and diversifying cohesive devices, the writer can enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "essential," "consolidate," "adverse impact," and "nurture." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly in phrases like "students" and "homework," which appear frequently without sufficient variation. For example, the phrase "students will have no time to relax" could be enhanced by using synonyms such as "learners" or "pupils" to avoid redundancy.
- How to improve: To improve the range of vocabulary, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms to diversify language use. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "homework," alternatives like "assignments" or "out-of-class tasks" could be employed. Additionally, exploring more advanced vocabulary related to education and mental health could enrich the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains some precise vocabulary, such as "consolidate knowledge" and "critical thinking." However, there are instances of imprecise usage, such as "instills her a sense of sadness," which should be "instills in her a sense of sadness." Additionally, the phrase "students have ability to suffer" is awkward; it would be clearer as "students are at risk of suffering."
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on grammatical structures and collocations. Reviewing phrases and ensuring they are used correctly will help improve clarity. For example, practicing the correct preposition usage in phrases like "instills in" rather than "instills" will elevate the overall quality of the writing.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "homwork" (should be "homework"), "Futhermore" (should be "Furthermore"), and "personaly" (should be "personally"). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the essay and can confuse readers.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a proofreading strategy, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can help reinforce correct spelling. Regularly reviewing vocabulary can also aid in retaining correct spellings.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents arguments clearly, enhancing vocabulary range, precision, and spelling will contribute to a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases such as "It is argued that it is unnecessary for students to be given homework," and "Another reason is that it has an adverse impact on pupils’ health." However, the essay leans heavily on simple and compound sentences, which can limit the overall sophistication of the writing. The use of phrases like "For example" and "On the one hand" helps to structure the argument but does not significantly diversify the sentence structures.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer could incorporate more complex sentences with subordinate clauses and varied sentence openings. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "Another reason," the writer could use introductory clauses such as "In addition to the aforementioned reasons," or "Moreover, it is important to note that." This would not only diversify the sentence structure but also improve the flow of ideas.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical inaccuracies and punctuation errors. For instance, "homwork" is a typographical error that should be corrected to "homework." Additionally, phrases such as "students have ability to suffer" should be revised to "students have the ability to suffer." The use of punctuation is inconsistent, particularly with the omission of a space before "etc." and the lack of commas in lists, such as "fatigue, sleep deprivation, etc." Furthermore, there are instances of awkward phrasing, such as "it instills her a sense of sadness and pressure," which could be improved for clarity.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay for typographical errors and ensure that articles and prepositions are used correctly. Practicing sentence restructuring can also help clarify meaning. For punctuation, the writer should familiarize themselves with the rules regarding commas in lists and the correct placement of punctuation marks. Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on written work can also aid in identifying and correcting these issues.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and enhancing grammatical accuracy will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is contended that it is unnecessary for students to be given homework, while others contend that homework plays an essential role in the education of children. I personally agree with the second group.

On the one hand, there are a number of reasons why teachers should not give homework to their pupils. The first reason is that students will have insufficient time for relaxation. In other words, they must stay up late to complete it instead of spending time with their families and friends. For example, Mai wants to hang out with her friends, but she has to finish her homework. As a result, it instills in her a sense of sadness and pressure. Therefore, pupils experience significant pressure from both schoolwork and homework. Another reason is that it has an adverse impact on pupils’ health. Students are susceptible to various health issues such as fatigue and sleep deprivation. Furthermore, it causes them to have a risk of depression and mental illness.

On the other hand, I personally believe that homework has a significant impact on the education of children. The first point is that homework facilitates knowledge consolidation in students. They can memorize knowledge better after doing homework. For instance, a student finds ways to solve math exercises, which helps him practice critical thinking. Consequently, they will perform well in an exam and achieve higher academic outcomes. Another point is that students will gain access to new knowledge and expertise through homework. Homework provides pupils with a wide range of advanced knowledge. By doing homework, they can expand their perspectives and open their minds. If students diligently complete their homework, they will nurture and enhance their intelligence.

In conclusion, although some people think that it is not essential for school students to do homework, I would argue that pupils should engage in homework assignments.