Some people believe that the advent of economical air travel has been very beneficial by making international travel more accessible, while others argue that it has had a very negative impact. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In contemporary society, the advent of low-cost aviation has sparked a debate over its benefits and drawbacks. In this essay, while acknowledging the benefits of low-cost aviation in providing both social and economic merits, I believe that the drawbacks, particularly the concerns of an acceleration of global warming, outweigh the advantages
On the one hand it is undeniable that low-budget aviation may benefit the population in general, both socially and economically. Regarding economic advantages, affordable aviation is commonly thought to play a vital role in many countries where it is an indispensable part of the economic development strategy. This implies that not only economical flight underpins wealth creation in the developed world but it also offers significant benefits for developing nations by unlocking their potentials for trading and tourism through increased trade volumes and holiday venues, therefore being an enabler of investment both into and out of countries. This, therefore, opens more job opportunities in aviation-related areas, allowing more people to live better off financially. Apart from economic significance, budget-friendly aviation industry also offers tremendous social benefits in light of the greater accessibility to wider social destinations. As low-cost flights are no longer a luxurious travelers may find them an ideal way to broaden their leisure and cultural experience in far-off destinations, therefore helping preserve friendship and understanding among the nations and peoples across the globe. This not only promotes social inclusion, but also facilitate greater international integration.
On the other hand, regardless of the aforementioned advantages of the low-cost air travel above, I am of the opinion that this trend is more disadvantageous due to its direct contribution to the unprecedented global concern, climate change. This is because most forms of aviation release a sheer volume of carbon dioxide, and many other kinds of greenhouse gases, the primary substances that are the principal contributors to the acceleration of global warming and ocean acidification. In particular, the emissions of taxiing and take-off of aircrafts make airports some of the largest sources of pollutants, thus resulting in a major health hazard worldwide. Undoubtedly, that travelers now consider cost-effect flights the ideal options to make international visits to far-off venues, even including remote ones is exacerbating the environmental issues. To solidify this claim, these concerns are highlighted by science-based research, indicating that compared to a decade ago, twice as many people are now traveling internationally using this mean of transport on a daily basis.
All things considered, while there are benefits of low-budget aviation industry regarding in both social and economical aspects, I still agree with those who believe that the drawbacks of this phenomenon outweigh its advantages. Thus, it warrants further consideration.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"low-cost aviation" -> "low-cost air travel"
Explanation: "Low-cost air travel" is a more precise and commonly used term in academic and formal contexts, enhancing clarity and specificity.
"In this essay, while acknowledging" -> "This essay acknowledges"
Explanation: Simplifying "In this essay, while acknowledging" to "This essay acknowledges" streamlines the sentence structure, making it more direct and formal.
"low-budget aviation" -> "low-cost aviation"
Explanation: "Low-budget" is less commonly used in formal writing and can be ambiguous; "low-cost" is more precise and widely accepted in academic contexts.
"commonly thought" -> "generally believed"
Explanation: "Generally believed" is a more formal expression suitable for academic writing, replacing the less formal "commonly thought."
"play a vital role" -> "play a crucial role"
Explanation: "Crucial" is more academically precise than "vital," emphasizing the importance of the role in a more formal tone.
"not only economical flight" -> "not only economic flights"
Explanation: "Economic flights" is grammatically correct and clearer than "economical flight," which is awkward and incorrect.
"unlocking their potentials" -> "unlocking their potential"
Explanation: "Potential" should be singular when referring to a general capacity or ability, making the phrase grammatically correct and more formal.
"being an enabler of investment" -> "enabling investment"
Explanation: "Enabling investment" is a more concise and formal way to express the idea, improving the flow of the sentence.
"live better off financially" -> "improve their financial situations"
Explanation: "Improve their financial situations" is a more formal and precise way to describe the impact on people’s financial well-being.
"budget-friendly aviation industry" -> "affordable aviation industry"
Explanation: "Affordable" is a more precise term than "budget-friendly" in formal writing, focusing on the cost aspect directly.
"tremendous social benefits" -> "significant social benefits"
Explanation: "Significant" is a more academically appropriate adjective than "tremendous," which can be seen as overly emotional or colloquial.
"luxurious travelers" -> "luxury travelers"
Explanation: "Luxury travelers" is grammatically correct and more formal than "luxurious travelers," which is awkward and less commonly used.
"facilitate greater international integration" -> "foster greater international integration"
Explanation: "Foster" is a more precise and formal verb than "facilitate" in this context, suggesting a more active role in promoting integration.
"unprecedented global concern" -> "global concern"
Explanation: "Global concern" is sufficient and more formal; "unprecedented" is redundant and can be removed without affecting the meaning.
"the primary contributors to the acceleration of global warming and ocean acidification" -> "primary contributors to the acceleration of global warming and ocean acidification"
Explanation: Removing "the" before "primary" corrects the article usage, aligning with formal writing standards.
"taxiing and take-off of aircrafts" -> "taxiing and takeoff of aircraft"
Explanation: "Takeoff" should be one word, and "aircraft" should not be pluralized as it is a mass noun.
"major health hazard worldwide" -> "significant global health hazard"
Explanation: "Significant global health hazard" is more precise and formal, emphasizing the scope and severity of the issue.
"cost-effect flights" -> "cost-effective flights"
Explanation: "Cost-effective" is the correct term, referring to the efficiency of flights in terms of cost, whereas "cost-effect" is incorrect.
"using this mean of transport" -> "using this mode of transportation"
Explanation: "Mode of transportation" is the correct term, replacing the less formal "mean of transport."

These changes enhance the academic tone and precision of the essay, aligning it with formal writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding the impact of economical air travel. The first part discusses the benefits of low-cost aviation, detailing economic and social advantages, such as increased job opportunities and greater accessibility to destinations. The second part presents the opposing view, emphasizing the environmental drawbacks, particularly climate change and pollution. The essay maintains a balanced approach by discussing both sides before stating a clear opinion.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could provide more specific examples or statistics to illustrate the benefits of low-cost air travel, such as data on tourism growth or economic contributions from specific countries. Additionally, addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen the discussion of the drawbacks could provide a more nuanced view.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer clearly states their position in the introduction and reiterates it in the conclusion, asserting that the drawbacks of low-cost aviation outweigh its benefits. This clarity is maintained throughout the essay, with consistent references to both sides of the argument. However, the transition between discussing benefits and drawbacks could be smoother to enhance coherence.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and coherence, the writer could use transitional phrases to better connect the discussion of benefits to the drawbacks. For example, phrases like "However, despite these advantages…" could help signal the shift in focus more clearly.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents well-developed ideas, particularly in the discussion of economic and social benefits. The writer supports their claims with logical reasoning and examples, such as the role of low-cost aviation in economic development and social inclusion. However, the support for the argument regarding environmental drawbacks could be more robust, as it relies heavily on general statements without specific examples or data.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the writer should incorporate specific data or studies that highlight the environmental impact of low-cost aviation. For instance, citing statistics on carbon emissions from air travel or referencing specific research studies could provide more weight to the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, addressing the prompt directly and avoiding irrelevant information. Each paragraph contributes to the overall argument, maintaining relevance to the discussion of low-cost aviation’s benefits and drawbacks. However, there are minor instances where the language could be more precise, such as the phrase "the unprecedented global concern, climate change," which could be simplified for clarity.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and enhance clarity, the writer should aim for more concise language and avoid overly complex phrases that might distract from the main points. Simplifying sentences and ensuring that each point directly ties back to the prompt will help maintain a strong focus on the topic.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and effectively communicates the writer’s views, but there are opportunities for improvement in providing more specific examples and enhancing coherence.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is well-organized, presenting a clear structure that distinguishes between the two opposing views on low-cost aviation. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and each paragraph logically follows from one to the next. For instance, the first body paragraph outlines the benefits of low-cost aviation, while the second body paragraph presents the drawbacks, culminating in a well-reasoned conclusion. The use of phrases like "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" enhances the logical flow between contrasting ideas.
- How to improve: To further enhance the logical organization, the writer could consider using more explicit topic sentences that summarize the main idea of each paragraph. This would help the reader quickly grasp the focus of each section. Additionally, integrating more transitional phrases between sentences within paragraphs could improve the flow of ideas.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the discussion. The paragraphing is clear, with distinct sections for the advantages and disadvantages of low-cost aviation. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from clearer delineation of its main points, as it currently presents several ideas in a somewhat dense manner.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph effectiveness, the writer should ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea and that supporting details are clearly linked to that idea. Breaking down the second body paragraph into two smaller paragraphs—one focusing on environmental impacts and the other on health hazards—could enhance clarity and allow for more in-depth discussion of each point.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "this implies," "apart from," and "undoubtedly," which help to connect ideas and maintain coherence. The writer also employs a variety of linking words and phrases to guide the reader through the argument. However, some cohesive devices are used repetitively, which can detract from the overall sophistication of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a broader range of linking phrases and synonyms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "this" or "therefore," alternatives like "consequently," "as a result," or "in addition" could be employed. Additionally, varying sentence structures and lengths can enhance the overall cohesiveness of the essay, making it more engaging for the reader.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, effectively presenting a balanced discussion on the topic. With some refinements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices, the essay could achieve an even higher level of clarity and sophistication.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, particularly in terms of topic-specific terms such as "low-cost aviation," "economic development strategy," and "social inclusion." The writer effectively uses phrases like "unlocking their potentials for trading and tourism" and "tremendous social benefits," which show an ability to convey complex ideas. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the repeated use of "low-cost aviation" could be replaced with synonyms or paraphrased to avoid redundancy.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related terms. For instance, instead of repeating "low-cost aviation," alternatives like "budget airlines" or "affordable air travel" could be used. Additionally, exploring more descriptive adjectives or adverbs could add depth to the arguments presented.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments of imprecision. For example, the phrase "the acceleration of global warming" could be more accurately described as "the exacerbation of climate change," which conveys a more precise meaning. Additionally, the term "economical flight" is somewhat misleading; "economical" typically refers to cost-effectiveness rather than the type of flight.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should ensure that the chosen words accurately reflect the intended meaning. This can be achieved by revisiting definitions and contexts of words before using them. For example, replacing "economical flight" with "affordable flights" would enhance clarity. Furthermore, employing more specific terms related to environmental issues, such as "carbon emissions" instead of "greenhouse gases," could improve precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a strong command of spelling, with only a few minor errors. For instance, "aircrafts" should be corrected to "aircraft," as "aircraft" is a non-count noun. The overall spelling accuracy contributes positively to the clarity and professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To maintain high spelling accuracy, the writer should review common spelling rules and the correct forms of nouns. Regular practice with spelling exercises or using tools like spell check can also help. Additionally, proofreading the essay before submission can catch minor errors that may have been overlooked during writing.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary and spelling, there are opportunities for improvement in the range and precision of word choice. By diversifying vocabulary, ensuring precise usage, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their writing and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, conditional phrases, and varied clause types. For instance, the use of phrases like "not only…but also" and "while acknowledging" showcases the writer’s ability to create nuanced arguments. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, such as the frequent use of "this implies that" and "this therefore," which can detract from the overall variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the diversity of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied conjunctions and transition phrases. For example, using alternatives to "this implies that" such as "this suggests" or "this indicates" could add variety. Additionally, experimenting with different sentence openings, such as starting with adverbial clauses or using inversion for emphasis, could further enrich the essay’s structure.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with few errors. However, there are some minor issues that could be addressed. For example, the phrase "the emissions of taxiing and take-off of aircrafts" should be corrected to "the emissions from taxiing and take-off of aircraft" to avoid awkward phrasing and ensure grammatical correctness. Additionally, the use of commas could be improved; for instance, a comma is needed before "therefore" in "this implies that… therefore being an enabler."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, particularly in preposition use and article placement. Practicing the rules of comma usage, especially in complex sentences, will also enhance clarity. Engaging in exercises that focus on common grammatical pitfalls can help solidify understanding and application of these rules.

Overall, the essay reflects a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a Band Score of 8. With targeted improvements in sentence variety and grammatical precision, the writer can aim for an even higher score in future essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

In contemporary society, the advent of low-cost aviation has sparked a debate over its benefits and drawbacks. This essay acknowledges the advantages of low-cost air travel in providing both social and economic merits; however, I believe that the drawbacks, particularly the concerns regarding the acceleration of global warming, outweigh the advantages.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that low-cost aviation may benefit the population in general, both socially and economically. Regarding economic advantages, affordable air travel is generally believed to play a vital role in many countries, where it is an indispensable part of the economic development strategy. This implies that not only does economical flight underpin wealth creation in the developed world, but it also offers significant benefits for developing nations by unlocking their potential for trade and tourism through increased trade volumes and holiday venues. Consequently, it serves as an enabler of investment both into and out of countries. This, in turn, opens more job opportunities in aviation-related areas, allowing more people to improve their financial situations. Apart from economic significance, the budget-friendly aviation industry also offers tremendous social benefits due to greater accessibility to a wider range of destinations. As low-cost flights are no longer considered a luxury, travelers may find them an ideal way to broaden their leisure and cultural experiences in distant locations, thus helping to preserve friendships and understanding among nations and peoples across the globe. This not only promotes social inclusion but also facilitates greater international integration.

On the other hand, despite the aforementioned advantages of low-cost air travel, I am of the opinion that this trend is more disadvantageous due to its direct contribution to the unprecedented global concern of climate change. This is because most forms of aviation release a significant volume of carbon dioxide and many other greenhouse gases, which are the primary contributors to the acceleration of global warming and ocean acidification. In particular, the emissions from taxiing and take-off of aircraft make airports some of the largest sources of pollutants, resulting in major health hazards worldwide. Undoubtedly, the fact that travelers now consider cost-effective flights as the ideal option for international visits to far-off destinations, including remote ones, exacerbates environmental issues. To solidify this claim, scientific research indicates that compared to a decade ago, twice as many people are now traveling internationally using this mode of transport on a daily basis.

All things considered, while there are benefits of the low-cost aviation industry regarding both social and economic aspects, I still agree with those who believe that the drawbacks of this phenomenon outweigh its advantages. Thus, it warrants further consideration.