some people believe that the government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is a better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both view and give your opinion

Over the years, traffic jams is clearly a heated topic which is often discussed all over the world. The most debated question has derived from whether the national authority should invest in trains and underground or expanding roads in order to reduce traffic congestion. Although some individuals are of the opinion that investing in road enlargement is a good idea, I am more convinced that constructing a railway system and metro is a more effective way to address the problems.
On the one hand, many individuals advocate that the most proactive solution for traffic gridlock is expanding more roads. The first reason is that it brings more options for drivers to reach the same destination. The typical example of this is people have the ability to move to the downtown of Ha Noi city by various ways because it has different routes to get there. Furthermore, with a separation of lanes for each type of vehicle, it helps ease traffic, which reduces bumper to bumper phenomenon.
Albeit aforementioned supportive arguments, I am inclined to believe that building a railway system and metro is the most effective way to tackle traffic congestion. One striking point is that trains and subways can have a capacity of 1000 people at the same time;Thus it reduces many vehicles in rush hour and also traffic jams. Another one is that the state can utilize available space below and above the street which has an overcrowded population. As can be seen an significant example of this is the newly-built skytrain in Viet Nam mitigates the situation of chaos on the main road in Ha Noi.
To conclude, It is reasonable for some individuals to think widening roads is better than building a train and metro. However, my firm conviction is that construction in the railway system and subway is greater to consider.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"traffic jams is clearly a heated topic" -> "traffic congestion is clearly a contentious issue"
Explanation: "Traffic jams" is a colloquial term. "Traffic congestion" is a more formal and precise alternative. Additionally, "is clearly a heated topic" can be replaced with "is a contentious issue" for a more formal tone.
"which is often discussed all over the world" -> "which garners widespread attention globally"
Explanation: "All over the world" is more informal; "globally" is a formal alternative. "Discussed" can be replaced with "garners attention" for a more sophisticated tone.
"The most debated question has derived from whether" -> "The primary debate revolves around whether"
Explanation: "Derived from" is less precise in this context. "The most debated question" can be simplified to "The primary debate". "Has derived from" can be replaced with "revolves around" for clarity and formality.
"investing in road enlargement is a good idea" -> "investing in road expansion is advisable"
Explanation: "Road enlargement" is less formal. "Good idea" can be replaced with "advisable" for a more formal tone.
"Although some individuals are of the opinion that" -> "While some argue that"
Explanation: "Some individuals are of the opinion that" can be replaced with "some argue that" for brevity and formality.
"on the one hand" -> "Firstly"
Explanation: "On the one hand" is less formal and typically used in informal speech. "Firstly" is more appropriate in formal writing.
"many individuals advocate that the most proactive solution" -> "many advocate for the most proactive solution"
Explanation: Simplifying the structure for clarity and formality.
"Albeit aforementioned supportive arguments" -> "However, despite the aforementioned arguments"
Explanation: "Albeit" is less commonly used in formal writing. "Despite" is a more formal alternative. Removing "supportive" maintains conciseness.
"Another one is that" -> "Another reason is that"
Explanation: "Another one is that" is informal. "Reason" is a more formal alternative.
"As can be seen an significant example of this" -> "A significant example of this can be seen in"
Explanation: Rearranging the sentence for clarity and formality.
"It is reasonable for some individuals to think" -> "While some may argue"
Explanation: "It is reasonable for some individuals to think" is less formal. "While some may argue" is more suitable for academic writing.
"my firm conviction is that construction in the railway system" -> "I firmly believe that investing in railway infrastructure"
Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and formality. "Construction in the railway system" is less precise than "investing in railway infrastructure".

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both perspectives outlined in the prompt: the idea of investing in building more roads and the alternative of investing in train and subway lines. However, while both views are presented, the exploration lacks depth. There’s a clear identification of the positions, but the discussion could be more thorough, with a deeper analysis of the implications and benefits of each approach.
- How to improve: To improve, ensure that each perspective is thoroughly explored. Provide more specific examples and delve into the potential consequences of each approach. This will demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the issue and enhance the overall argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay takes a clear stance in favor of constructing a railway system and metro to address traffic congestion. The position is consistently maintained throughout the essay, with supporting arguments provided for this viewpoint.
- How to improve: While maintaining a clear position is important, ensure that the essay acknowledges counterarguments and addresses them effectively. This demonstrates a nuanced understanding of the issue and strengthens the argumentation.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas regarding both perspectives, with some extension and support. However, the development of ideas could be more robust. For instance, while the benefits of a railway system and metro are mentioned, further elaboration on how these systems specifically alleviate traffic congestion would strengthen the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance the presentation and support of ideas, provide more specific examples and evidence to bolster each argument. Additionally, ensure that the connections between ideas are clearly articulated to strengthen the overall coherence of the essay.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic, discussing the two proposed solutions for reducing traffic congestion: building more roads and investing in train and subway lines. However, there are moments where the discussion veers slightly off topic, such as the mention of the newly-built skytrain in Vietnam without directly tying it back to the central argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance to the topic, ensure that all examples and illustrations directly contribute to the overall argument. Avoid tangential discussions that do not directly relate to the main topic of traffic congestion and the proposed solutions.

Overall, while the essay effectively presents a clear position in favor of constructing train and subway lines, there is room for improvement in addressing all aspects of the prompt, extending and supporting ideas more thoroughly, and maintaining focus on the central topic throughout the essay. With further development and refinement, the essay has the potential to achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a logical organization by presenting arguments for both sides of the issue before expressing a clear opinion. Each paragraph discusses a different viewpoint, with the first addressing the perspective favoring road expansion and the second advocating for the construction of railway systems and subways. The progression of ideas is clear and contributes to the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea. Additionally, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to improve the overall flow of the essay. For example, using phrases like "On the one hand… On the other hand" or "However, my firm conviction is…" can help guide the reader through the shifting perspectives more seamlessly.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively to organize ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument and contributes to the overall coherence of the essay. However, there is room for improvement in the structure of some paragraphs. For instance, the paragraph discussing the benefits of road expansion could be more concise and focused on a single main idea.
- How to improve: Consider breaking down longer paragraphs into smaller ones to maintain clarity and coherence. Each paragraph should ideally present a single main idea supported by relevant details and examples. In the paragraph discussing road expansion, for example, separate points about increasing options for drivers and the separation of lanes could be presented in distinct paragraphs for clearer organization.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and improve coherence. Transition words and phrases such as "Although", "Furthermore", "Albeit", and "To conclude" are used effectively to signal shifts between contrasting viewpoints and to summarize arguments. Additionally, pronouns and demonstrative adjectives are used to refer back to previously mentioned ideas, enhancing coherence.
- How to improve: While the essay demonstrates competence in using cohesive devices, further diversification and refinement could enhance coherence. Incorporating a wider range of transition words and phrases can create smoother connections between ideas. Additionally, ensuring consistency in the use of pronouns and referencing can prevent ambiguity and strengthen coherence. For instance, instead of simply stating "Another one is that…", specifying the connection between ideas more explicitly can improve clarity and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonably wide range of vocabulary. There are examples of varied word choices such as "proactive," "gridlock," "albeit," "conviction," and "mitigates," which enhance the essay’s lexical richness.
- How to improve: To further enhance your lexical resource, consider incorporating more precise vocabulary related to transportation and urban planning. For example, instead of "overcrowded population," you could use "dense urban areas" or "congested districts." Aim for consistency in maintaining an elevated vocabulary throughout the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: Some vocabulary choices are used precisely, such as "conviction" and "mitigates," which contribute effectively to the argument. However, there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, "gridlock" is well-used, but terms like "chaos" and "bumper to bumper phenomenon" could be more specific or replaced with clearer terms.
- How to improve: Strive to replace general terms with more specific ones. For instance, "chaos on the main road" could be replaced with "traffic congestion on major thoroughfares." This will help to convey your ideas with greater clarity and precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of spelling accuracy. Most words are spelled correctly, with a few minor errors like "Albeit," "skytrain," and "proactive." These errors do not significantly hinder communication.
- How to improve: Pay closer attention to words that you are unsure of or that have been problematic in the past. Use spell-check tools and consider proofreading more thoroughly to catch and correct these errors.

General Comments:

The essay effectively addresses the prompt and provides clear arguments supporting the preference for building train and subway lines over expanding roads.
Consider structuring your sentences more coherently and ensuring the logical flow of ideas throughout the essay.
Aim for consistent use of formal language and academic tone, particularly in terms of vocabulary and sentence structure.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a strong grasp of vocabulary usage and spelling accuracy, with room for improvement in precision and clarity. Keep practicing and refining your vocabulary choices to further enhance your lexical resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences ("Although some individuals are of the opinion…") and compound-complex sentences ("The first reason is that it brings more options for drivers…"). However, there is room for improvement in the diversity of structures. The essay tends to rely on simpler sentence structures, which may limit the sophistication of expression.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical range and add depth to the analysis, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures, such as subordinate clauses, participial phrases, and parallel structures. For example, instead of stating points directly, you could introduce them with introductory phrases or dependent clauses. Additionally, varying sentence lengths and structures can create a more engaging and dynamic essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates proficiency in grammar and punctuation. However, there are some instances of grammatical errors and punctuation inaccuracies. For example, "Over the years, traffic jams is clearly a heated topic…" should be "Over the years, traffic jams have been a heated topic…". Additionally, there are punctuation errors such as missing commas before introductory phrases ("Furthermore, with a separation of lanes for each type of vehicle…").
- How to improve: Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and the correct use of articles and prepositions. Proofreading the essay carefully can help identify and correct grammatical errors. Additionally, familiarize yourself with punctuation rules, particularly regarding comma usage in complex sentences and before introductory phrases. Practice incorporating these rules consistently into your writing to improve accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

Traffic congestion is clearly a contentious issue which garners widespread attention globally. The primary debate revolves around whether investing in road expansion is advisable or if constructing train and subway lines would be more beneficial. While some argue that widening roads is the best approach, I am firmly convinced that investing in railway infrastructure offers a more effective solution to reduce traffic congestion.

On one side of the argument, many advocate for the proactive solution of expanding roads. Firstly, it provides drivers with more route options to reach their destinations. For instance, in cities like Ha Noi, multiple routes to downtown offer drivers flexibility in their commute. Additionally, dedicated lanes for different types of vehicles help ease traffic flow and reduce bumper-to-bumper congestion.

However, despite these arguments, another reason is that constructing a railway system and metro is a more effective way to address traffic congestion. A significant example of this can be seen in the newly-built skytrain in Viet Nam, which has mitigated congestion on main roads in cities like Ha Noi. Trains and subways have a high capacity, capable of transporting up to 1000 people simultaneously, thereby reducing the number of vehicles on the road during peak hours.

While some may argue that widening roads is a better solution, I firmly believe that investing in railway infrastructure offers a more sustainable approach to alleviating traffic congestion.