Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, some individuals support the idea that governments should allocate funds for public artworks in cities to enhance the overall living experience. I totally agree with this notion because investing in art is a good way to promote economic growth in the cities.
To begin with, public art, such as paintings and statues, contributes to the aesthetic appeal and cultural enrichment of urban spaces. By integrating art into public areas, governments can create visually stimulating environments that uplift citizens' spirits and foster a sense of community pride. Furthermore, public artworks serve as platforms for local artists to showcase their talents and express diverse perspectives, promoting inclusivity and creativity within the community. For instance, iconic works of art, such as Antoni Gaudí's Sagrada Família and Park Güell, have become synonymous with Barcelona's identity, enriching the urban landscape and providing unique experiences for both residents and visitors.
However, while investing in public art can significantly enhance the cultural landscape of cities, it should not overshadow funding for critical infrastructure, education, and social services. Balancing the allocation of resources is crucial for creating well-rounded and vibrant urban environments. Additionally, public art should be incorporated with careful consideration for the preferences and needs of the local population. Inclusive decision-making processes, involving community input, can ensure that public art projects resonate with residents and reflect their values and identities.
In conclusion, while I agree with the idea that governments should invest in public art to enrich urban spaces, I believe this should be done in conjunction with strategic investments in essential services and infrastructure. A well-balanced approach that considers the diverse needs of the city, encompassing practical and cultural aspects, is essential for creating vibrant and livable urban centers.
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Errors and Improvements:
"Nowadays, some individuals support the idea" -> "Currently, some proponents advocate"
Explanation: Replacing "Nowadays" with "Currently" adds formality to the introduction. Changing "individuals support the idea" to "proponents advocate" introduces a more sophisticated expression without losing clarity.
"I totally agree with this notion" -> "I wholeheartedly endorse this perspective"
Explanation: Substituting "totally agree" with "wholeheartedly endorse" elevates the language, offering a stronger endorsement while maintaining a formal tone.
"investing in art is a good way" -> "allocating resources to the arts is a beneficial approach"
Explanation: The phrase "investing in art" is broad; specifying "allocating resources to the arts" provides a more precise and formal description. The term "beneficial approach" enhances formality compared to "good way."
"citizens’ spirits" -> "residents’ morale"
Explanation: "Citizens’ spirits" is somewhat informal; replacing it with "residents’ morale" retains the meaning in a more formal manner.
"Furthermore, public artworks serve as platforms" -> "Moreover, public art installations function as platforms"
Explanation: Changing "Furthermore" to "Moreover" adds variety to the transition. Substituting "artworks" with "art installations" and "serve as" with "function as" contributes to a more formal and precise expression.
"enriching the urban landscape" -> "enhancing the urban environment"
Explanation: While "enriching" is suitable, "enhancing" provides a slight shift in vocabulary, maintaining a formal tone.
"unique experiences for both residents and visitors" -> "distinctive experiences for both inhabitants and visitors"
Explanation: Replacing "unique" with "distinctive" and using "inhabitants" instead of "residents" contributes to a more formal and nuanced expression.
"While investing in public art can significantly enhance" -> "Although investing in public art can markedly improve"
Explanation: Replacing "While" with "Although" introduces a more formal contrast. Substituting "significantly enhance" with "markedly improve" adds precision and formality.
"it should not overshadow funding for critical infrastructure, education, and social services" -> "it should not detract from funding allocated to critical infrastructure, education, and social services"
Explanation: "Overshadow" is slightly informal; replacing it with "detract from" maintains the intended meaning in a more formal manner.
"Balancing the allocation of resources is crucial" -> "Ensuring a balanced allocation of resources is imperative"
Explanation: Enhancing formality by using "Ensuring" instead of "Balancing" and "imperative" instead of "crucial."
"Inclusive decision-making processes, involving community input" -> "Inclusive decision-making processes that incorporate community input"
Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and using "that incorporate" instead of "involving" contributes to a more formal and precise expression.
"resonate with residents and reflect their values and identities" -> "resonate with the resident population, reflecting their values and identities"
Explanation: Adding "the resident population" clarifies the reference. The rest of the modification maintains formality while enhancing specificity.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Quoted text: "I totally agree with this notion because investing in art is a good way to promote economic growth in the cities."
- Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction directly states the agreement with the notion, but it could benefit from a clearer delineation of what aspects of economic growth art contributes to. For instance, specifying how art might attract tourists, fostering local businesses, or enhancing property values would strengthen this point further.
- Improved example: "I strongly advocate allocating funds for public artworks as it not only enriches the cultural landscape but also serves as a catalyst for economic prosperity within cities. For instance, renowned artworks often draw tourists, fostering a thriving ecosystem of local businesses and elevating the overall economic vitality of urban areas."
Quoted text: "However, while investing in public art can significantly enhance the cultural landscape of cities, it should not overshadow funding for critical infrastructure, education, and social services."
- Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While acknowledging the importance of balancing resources, the point could be expanded to elucidate how this balance could be achieved. Providing specific examples of how governments successfully managed to allocate funds for both art and critical infrastructure, education, or social services concurrently would reinforce the argument.
- Improved example: "While investing in public art undoubtedly enriches a city’s cultural tapestry, prudent governance mandates a delicate equilibrium between artistic endeavors and vital infrastructure. For instance, cities like Paris strikingly showcase this balance, where iconic art installations coexist harmoniously with impeccable public transport systems and robust educational facilities, nurturing both culture and practical necessities."
Overall, the essay adeptly addresses the prompt by highlighting the value of public art in enriching urban spaces and advocating for a balanced allocation of resources. To enhance the argument’s depth, incorporating specific examples of how art directly impacts economic growth and illustrating successful cases of simultaneous investment in art and essential services could further strengthen the response.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
The essay logically organizes information and ideas in a structured manner. There is a clear progression throughout the essay, starting with an introduction that presents the writer’s stance, followed by well-developed body paragraphs supporting the argument, and concluding with a summarizing paragraph. The writer effectively uses cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases ("To begin with," "Furthermore," "Additionally," "In conclusion"), contributing to the logical flow of ideas and connecting sentences and paragraphs. Each paragraph centers around a clear central topic related to the benefits of public art and the need for balance in allocating resources.
The essay demonstrates an understanding of how public art enhances urban spaces, citing examples like Antoni Gaudí’s works in Barcelona to illustrate its cultural enrichment. Moreover, it acknowledges the importance of balancing art investments with funding for critical infrastructure and services.
How to improve:
To elevate the coherence and cohesion further, consider refining the use of transitional phrases to ensure seamless connections between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, enhancing the variety of cohesive devices used, while avoiding potential repetition or overuse, could strengthen the essay’s overall coherence. Further emphasis on linking the conclusion back to the introduction might enhance the overall cohesion and coherence.
Overall, the essay effectively addresses the prompt with a well-structured argument and demonstrates a commendable understanding of the importance of art in urban spaces, earning a band score of 7.0 for Coherence and Cohesion in alignment with the given IELTS band descriptor.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8
Band Score: 8.0
The essay demonstrates a commendable command of vocabulary, contributing to the overall fluency and precision of the writing. The author effectively employs a wide range of vocabulary, using sophisticated language features that enhance the overall quality of expression. The use of phrases such as "aesthetic appeal," "cultural enrichment," "visually stimulating environments," and "inclusive decision-making processes" showcases a nuanced and sophisticated control of lexical features. The essay also skillfully incorporates less common lexical items, such as "iconic works of art," "enriching the urban landscape," and "synonymous with Barcelona’s identity." Despite the overall proficiency, there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as in the phrase "enriching the urban landscape and providing unique experiences," where the connection between enrichment and unique experiences could be refined for better clarity. Additionally, there are no major errors in spelling and word formation, with only rare minor errors occurring as ‘slips.’
How to improve:
To enhance the lexical resource further, the writer could aim for even more precise and varied language, ensuring that the connection between less common lexical items and the overall context is consistently clear. Additionally, a careful review to eliminate minor inaccuracies in word choice and collocation will contribute to achieving a more polished and refined use of vocabulary.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8
Band Score: 8.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable command of grammatical structures, utilizing a variety of sentence forms with flexibility and accuracy. The majority of sentences are error-free, with occasional minor errors that do not impede comprehension. The essay effectively communicates ideas and maintains a sophisticated level of language use throughout.
How to improve: To further enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, consider incorporating a wider array of complex structures. While the essay is proficient, occasional errors can be minimized through meticulous proofreading. Pay special attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure that all sentences contribute seamlessly to the overall coherence of the essay.
Bài sửa mẫu
Nowadays, there is a growing support for governments dedicating funds to public artworks in cities to enhance the overall living experience. I wholeheartedly agree with this perspective because investing in art can significantly uplift cities in various ways.
To start with, public art, such as paintings and statues, plays a pivotal role in enhancing the aesthetic appeal and cultural richness of urban spaces. By integrating art into public areas, governments can craft visually captivating environments that uplift citizens’ spirits and instill a sense of pride within the community. Moreover, public artworks act as platforms for local artists to display their talents and convey diverse perspectives, fostering inclusivity and creativity within the community. For example, renowned works of art like Antoni Gaudí’s Sagrada Família and Park Güell have become emblematic of Barcelona’s identity, enriching the urban landscape and providing distinct experiences for both residents and visitors.
However, while investing in public art can notably enrich the cultural fabric of cities, it should not overshadow funding for critical infrastructure, education, and social services. Maintaining a balanced allocation of resources is crucial to ensure the development of well-rounded and dynamic urban environments. Additionally, the integration of public art should be approached with careful consideration for the preferences and necessities of the local population. Inclusive decision-making processes that incorporate community input can guarantee that public art projects resonate with residents and mirror their values and identities.
In conclusion, while I support the idea of governments investing in public art to enrich urban spaces, I strongly believe that this should be done alongside strategic investments in essential services and infrastructure. Achieving a harmonious balance that addresses the diverse needs of the city, encompassing both practical and cultural aspects, is vital for creating vibrant and livable urban centers.