Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is true that many people wish to keep all the income they earn and are reluctant to pay taxes to the government. However, paying taxes is not only a civic duty but also a crucial contribution to societal development. Therefore, I strongly disagree with the opinion that individuals should refuse to pay taxes.
Firstly, paying taxes is essential for creating a state budget fund. In most countries, taxes are the primary source of government revenue, as mandated by law. From this budget, the government can remunerate civil servants, maintain and improve public facilities, and provide essential services to its citizens. For instance, tax revenues fund military services, which underscores the importance of taxes in ensuring national security and public safety.
Despite this, some individuals, particularly the wealthy, seek to avoid paying taxes. They often use legal loopholes to minimize their tax liabilities, arguing that higher incomes result in disproportionately higher taxes. This mindset has led to significant crises, compelling many countries to enforce stringent penalties to deter tax evasion. For example, Lionel Messi, one of the most renowned footballers, was found guilty of tax fraud amounting to 4.7 million euros, nearly jeopardizing his career.
In conclusion, while some people believe they should not contribute a portion of their earnings to the state, I firmly disagree. Paying taxes is a responsibility that all citizens must uphold. Those who refuse to pay should face appropriate penalties. Taxes are indispensable for the development and maintenance of society, and everyone must contribute their fair share.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
Errors and Improvements:
- "many people wish to keep all the income they earn" -> "many individuals desire to retain all of their earnings"
Explanation: "Wish to keep" is slightly informal. "Desire to retain" maintains the meaning while using a more formal vocabulary. - "reluctant to pay taxes to the government" -> "hesitant to fulfill their tax obligations to the government"
Explanation: "Reluctant to pay taxes" is quite informal. "Hesitant to fulfill their tax obligations" maintains the meaning while using a more formal expression. - "a civic duty" -> "an obligation of citizenship"
Explanation: "Civic duty" is appropriate, but "an obligation of citizenship" adds clarity and formality. - "crucial contribution to societal development" -> "integral to societal progress"
Explanation: "Crucial contribution to societal development" is somewhat redundant. "Integral to societal progress" conveys the same idea more concisely. - "I strongly disagree with the opinion" -> "I vehemently oppose the notion"
Explanation: "Strongly disagree with the opinion" is somewhat redundant and informal. "Vehemently oppose the notion" maintains the intensity while using a more formal expression. - "Firstly" -> "First and foremost"
Explanation: "Firstly" is overly simplistic. "First and foremost" adds emphasis and formality. - "For instance" -> "As an illustration"
Explanation: "For instance" is common but slightly informal. "As an illustration" is more formal. - "From this budget" -> "From these funds"
Explanation: "From this budget" is somewhat ambiguous. "From these funds" clarifies that the reference is to tax revenues. - "tax revenues fund military services" -> "tax revenues finance military expenditures"
Explanation: "Tax revenues fund" is informal. "Tax revenues finance" is more appropriate in an academic context. - "underscores the importance of taxes" -> "emphasizes the significance of taxation"
Explanation: "Underscores the importance of taxes" is slightly informal. "Emphasizes the significance of taxation" is more formal. - "seek to avoid paying taxes" -> "endeavor to evade tax obligations"
Explanation: "Seek to avoid paying taxes" is informal. "Endeavor to evade tax obligations" is more formal and precise. - "legal loopholes" -> "legal mechanisms"
Explanation: "Legal loopholes" is informal. "Legal mechanisms" maintains the meaning while being more formal. - "minimize their tax liabilities" -> "reduce their tax burdens"
Explanation: "Minimize their tax liabilities" is slightly informal. "Reduce their tax burdens" is a more formal alternative. - "has led to significant crises" -> "has precipitated substantial crises"
Explanation: "Has led to significant crises" is somewhat informal. "Has precipitated substantial crises" is more formal. - "stringent penalties" -> "severe sanctions"
Explanation: "Stringent penalties" is somewhat informal. "Severe sanctions" maintains the meaning while being more formal. - "jeopardizing his career" -> "placing his career in jeopardy"
Explanation: "Jeopardizing his career" is slightly informal. "Placing his career in jeopardy" is more formal. - "some people believe they should not contribute" -> "certain individuals contend that they need not contribute"
Explanation: "Some people believe they should not contribute" is somewhat informal. "Certain individuals contend that they need not contribute" is more formal and precise. - "I firmly disagree" -> "I adamantly oppose"
Explanation: "I firmly disagree" is somewhat informal. "I adamantly oppose" maintains the intensity while being more formal. - "Paying taxes is a responsibility that all citizens must uphold" -> "The obligation to pay taxes is incumbent upon all citizens"
Explanation: "Paying taxes is a responsibility that all citizens must uphold" is somewhat informal. "The obligation to pay taxes is incumbent upon all citizens" is more formal and precise. - "appropriate penalties" -> "commensurate repercussions"
Explanation: "Appropriate penalties" is somewhat vague. "Commensurate repercussions" clarifies that the penalties are proportionate to the offense.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Task Response: 8
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all parts of the question prompt. It acknowledges the perspective of those who wish to keep all their earnings and presents a clear counterargument against this viewpoint. The writer discusses the importance of paying taxes as a civic duty and a means of contributing to societal development.
- How to improve: While the essay comprehensively addresses both sides of the argument, it could strengthen its response by providing more nuanced considerations for the opposing viewpoint. Additionally, offering examples or statistics to illustrate the potential consequences of not paying taxes could enhance the depth of analysis.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a consistent position throughout, firmly disagreeing with the idea that individuals should refuse to pay taxes. This stance is evident from the introduction to the conclusion, where the writer emphasizes the importance of tax contributions.
- How to improve: To further enhance clarity, the writer could explicitly state their position in the introduction, ensuring that readers immediately understand the essay’s standpoint. Additionally, reinforcing the central argument in each paragraph can help maintain coherence and strengthen the essay’s overall persuasiveness.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports its ideas with relevant examples and explanations. It discusses the significance of taxes in funding government operations, maintaining public services, and addressing tax evasion issues through specific instances like the case of Lionel Messi.
- How to improve: To improve further, the writer could provide additional examples or case studies to illustrate the broader impact of taxes on societal development. Additionally, expanding on the benefits of tax contributions beyond basic government functions could enrich the discussion and provide a more holistic perspective.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout its entirety, consistently discussing the implications of paying taxes and refuting the notion of withholding earnings from the state. There are no significant deviations from the central theme.
- How to improve: While the essay maintains relevance to the topic, incorporating a brief summary or transition statements between paragraphs can enhance cohesion and reinforce the essay’s central argument. Additionally, avoiding tangential discussions or excessive repetition can help maintain focus and engagement.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and effectively communicates a well-supported argument against the idea of individuals retaining all their earnings without contributing taxes. With minor improvements in providing nuanced considerations, reinforcing clarity, enriching examples, and enhancing cohesion, the essay has the potential to achieve an even higher score.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is adequately organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that support the argument, and a concluding statement. The introduction introduces the topic and the writer’s stance clearly. Each body paragraph discusses a separate reason, with clear examples to support the points made. The conclusion reiterates the writer’s stance.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay could benefit from even stronger topic sentence structure at the beginning of each body paragraph, clearly outlining the main idea of each paragraph and how it relates to the overall argument.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to organize information. Each paragraph is focused and discusses one main idea. The paragraphs are of appropriate length and contribute to the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance paragraphing, the writer could consider using more sophisticated linking words and phrases at the beginning of each paragraph to better connect ideas and improve coherence. For instance, words such as "Furthermore" or "Moreover" could be used to strengthen the relationship between ideas.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay makes use of a range of cohesive devices, such as "however," "for instance," "despite this," and "in conclusion." These devices effectively connect ideas within and between sentences and paragraphs.
- How to improve: To further improve, the writer could consider incorporating a wider variety of cohesive devices, such as pronouns ("it," "they") to refer back to previously mentioned ideas or synonyms to avoid repetition. This would enhance the essay’s overall cohesion and fluency.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion, achieving a Band Score of 6. To further improve, the writer should focus on strengthening topic sentences, enhancing the range of linking words, and diversifying the use of cohesive devices.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, employing diverse terms and expressions throughout. For instance, phrases like "civic duty," "remunerate civil servants," and "disproportionately higher taxes" showcase lexical variety. Additionally, the essay utilizes specific terminology such as "tax evasion," "legal loopholes," and "stringent penalties," enhancing the richness of vocabulary.
- How to improve: While the essay already exhibits a strong vocabulary range, further enhancement could be achieved by incorporating more sophisticated synonyms or alternative phrases for commonly used words. Additionally, integrating domain-specific vocabulary related to taxation or economics could elevate the lexical complexity even more.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay employs vocabulary with precision, effectively conveying ideas and arguments. For instance, phrases like "legal loopholes" precisely describe methods used to avoid taxes, and "tax evasion" accurately depicts the act of illegally evading tax obligations. However, there are occasional instances where vocabulary could be more precise. For example, in the phrase "some individuals… seek to avoid paying taxes," using a more precise term like "tax avoidance" could strengthen the clarity of expression.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, consider carefully selecting vocabulary that precisely captures the intended meaning. Utilize terminology that is specific to the topic at hand and avoid vague or ambiguous language. Additionally, pay attention to context and ensure that chosen words accurately convey the intended message without room for misinterpretation.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a high level of spelling accuracy, with minimal instances of spelling errors. Key terms and expressions are spelled correctly, contributing to the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing. For example, words like "remunerate," "disproportionately," and "indispensable" are spelled accurately, showcasing a strong command of spelling.
- How to improve: To maintain spelling accuracy, continue practicing proofreading techniques to catch any potential spelling errors before finalizing the writing. Utilize spell-check tools and consider seeking feedback from peers or instructors to identify and correct any overlooked errors. Additionally, familiarize yourself with common spelling rules and patterns to reinforce spelling proficiency.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including compound and complex sentences. For instance, complex sentences such as "Despite this, some individuals, particularly the wealthy, seek to avoid paying taxes" and compound sentences like "In most countries, taxes are the primary source of government revenue, as mandated by law" showcase effective use of varied structures to convey ideas.
- How to improve: To further enhance the essay’s coherence and sophistication, consider integrating a wider array of complex sentence structures, such as conditional sentences or inverted sentences. Additionally, experimenting with rhetorical devices like parallelism or appositive phrases can add depth to the writing.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy with few noticeable errors. For instance, the use of appropriate verb tenses and subject-verb agreement is consistent throughout the essay. Punctuation marks are appropriately utilized to enhance clarity and organization.
- How to improve: While the essay demonstrates strong grammatical proficiency overall, occasional errors in sentence structure or punctuation could be addressed for further refinement. Proofreading for minor issues such as misplaced commas or subject-verb agreement inconsistencies can help elevate the overall polish of the essay. Additionally, paying attention to parallelism in sentence structures can enhance readability and coherence.
Overall, the essay exhibits a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, contributing significantly to its overall coherence and effectiveness. With continued attention to sentence structure variety and meticulous proofreading, the essay has the potential to achieve an even higher level of sophistication and clarity.
Bài sửa mẫu
It is indeed a common desire for many individuals to retain all of their earnings and be exempt from paying taxes to the government. However, it’s important to recognize that paying taxes is not merely a civic obligation but also a vital investment in societal progress. Thus, I firmly disagree with the notion that individuals should evade tax payments.
Primarily, taxes play a crucial role in establishing a state budget. Across most nations, taxes stand as the principal source of government income, as mandated by law. This budget facilitates the payment of civil servants, the upkeep and enhancement of public amenities, and the provision of essential services to citizens. Notably, tax revenues are instrumental in financing military services, which underscores their significance in ensuring national security and public well-being.
Nevertheless, certain individuals, particularly the affluent, endeavor to evade tax payments. They often exploit legal loopholes to minimize their tax obligations, contending that higher incomes lead to disproportionately higher taxes. Such a mindset has prompted significant crises, compelling numerous countries to enforce strict penalties to deter tax evasion. For instance, Lionel Messi, a renowned footballer, faced allegations of tax fraud amounting to 4.7 million euros, nearly jeopardizing his career.
In conclusion, while some advocate for the retention of all earnings without contributing to the state, I firmly oppose this view. Paying taxes is a fundamental responsibility incumbent upon all citizens. Those who evade taxes should face appropriate repercussions. Taxes are indispensable for societal development and maintenance, necessitating the equitable contribution of all individuals.
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