Some people claim that many things children are taught at school are a waste of time. Other people argue that everything taught at school is useful at some time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

While some opine that some knowledge taught at school is irrelevant and has little practical value, others argue that everything that students learn at school is meaningful. This essay will look at this argument from both viewpoints before giving my support to the latter.

On the one hand, there are two major reasons why some may believe that knowledge acquired at school is useless. First and foremost, some advanced subjects at school do not benefit everyone. For instance, hard exercises in mathematics and some history events bring nothing to students who pursue creative careers, such as art or music. Secondly, almost all schools focus on traditional education, with heavy theories, and forget to teach students about some soft skills, such as problem-solving, financial, and time management. As a consequence, students usually lack foundational skills and live dependently on their families.

On the other hand, I support the view that certain subjects at school greatly benefit students. The most striking advantage is that they can help students broaden their horizons. For instance, hard exercises can help them think more logically, and studying historical events also helps them avoid making the same mistakes of the past and make more accurate predictions. Second, knowledge taught at school helps students in their later stages of life. For example, some students find studying boring and unproductive, but it can bring more job opportunities for students when they graduate from university. Additionally, some creative subjects, such as art and music, can improve students' creativity and develop their intelligence.

In conclusion, while some opine that knowledge at school is useless, I strongly believe that knowledge taught at school brings students massive advantages. Nevertheless, schools should add some extracurricular activities and soft skills lessons to ensure that they educate students comprehensively.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"some opine" -> "some argue"
Explanation: "Opine" is less commonly used in academic writing and may sound overly formal or archaic. "Argue" is more straightforward and commonly accepted in academic discourse.
"some knowledge taught at school is irrelevant" -> "some knowledge taught in schools is deemed irrelevant"
Explanation: Adding "in schools" clarifies the subject, and "deemed" introduces a more formal tone suitable for academic writing.
"has little practical value" -> "offers limited practical value"
Explanation: "Offers" is a more precise verb in this context, indicating the provision of value, which is more appropriate for academic language.
"hard exercises in mathematics" -> "challenging mathematical exercises"
Explanation: "Challenging" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than "hard," which can be seen as informal or vague.
"bring nothing to students" -> "contribute little to students"
Explanation: "Contribute little" is a more formal and precise way to express the lack of benefit, aligning better with academic style.
"forget to teach" -> "fail to teach"
Explanation: "Fail to teach" is a more formal expression that conveys a stronger sense of omission or neglect, which is more suitable for academic writing.
"live dependently on their families" -> "rely heavily on their families"
Explanation: "Rely heavily" is a more formal and precise phrase, improving the academic tone and clarity.
"The most striking advantage" -> "a significant advantage"
Explanation: "A significant advantage" is a more neutral and academically appropriate phrase, avoiding the emotional connotation of "striking."
"hard exercises" -> "challenging exercises"
Explanation: As mentioned earlier, "challenging" is more precise and formal than "hard."
"make more accurate predictions" -> "enhance predictive accuracy"
Explanation: "Enhance predictive accuracy" is a more formal and precise way to describe the improvement in forecasting abilities.
"bring more job opportunities" -> "increase job prospects"
Explanation: "Increase job prospects" is a more formal and precise term, commonly used in academic and professional contexts.
"some creative subjects" -> "certain creative subjects"
Explanation: "Certain" is more specific and formal than "some," which can be vague and informal in academic writing.
"can improve students’ creativity" -> "enhance students’ creativity"
Explanation: "Enhance" is a more formal synonym for "improve," fitting better in academic discourse.
"develop their intelligence" -> "foster their cognitive abilities"
Explanation: "Foster their cognitive abilities" is a more precise and academically appropriate phrase, emphasizing the development of mental faculties.

These changes aim to refine the vocabulary and tone of the essay to better align with academic standards, enhancing clarity, precision, and formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument regarding the usefulness of school education. The first paragraph presents the viewpoint that some subjects may be irrelevant, citing specific examples such as advanced mathematics and history for students pursuing creative careers. The second paragraph counters this by arguing that school subjects can be beneficial, providing examples like logical thinking and historical awareness. However, while both perspectives are discussed, the essay could benefit from a more balanced exploration of the opposing view, as it leans slightly more towards supporting the usefulness of school education.
- How to improve: To enhance the balance, the writer could include more specific examples or evidence supporting the argument that some subjects are indeed useless. This could involve discussing the potential long-term impacts of not teaching certain subjects or providing statistics or studies that illustrate the lack of relevance for specific career paths.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer clearly states their position in favor of the usefulness of school education in the introduction and reinforces this stance throughout the essay. Phrases like "I strongly believe" in the conclusion indicate a firm opinion. However, the transition between discussing both viewpoints and the personal stance could be smoother to enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer could use transitional phrases that explicitly signal the shift from discussing the opposing view to their own opinion. For example, phrases like "Despite these arguments" or "In contrast to this perspective" can help clarify the transition and strengthen the overall coherence of the argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the benefits of logical thinking and the importance of historical knowledge. These ideas are supported with relevant examples, which strengthens the argument. However, some points could be further developed. For instance, the mention of soft skills is introduced but not elaborated upon, which leaves the argument feeling somewhat incomplete.
- How to improve: To improve the depth of ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on key points with additional examples or explanations. For instance, when discussing soft skills, the writer could provide specific examples of how these skills are applicable in real-life scenarios or in various career paths, thereby reinforcing the argument’s relevance.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the usefulness of school education. However, there are moments where the discussion of soft skills and extracurricular activities, while relevant, could detract from the main argument if not clearly linked back to the central thesis. The conclusion introduces the idea of adding extracurricular activities, which, while a valid point, feels slightly disconnected from the main discussion about the relevance of school subjects.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all points made directly relate back to the central argument about the usefulness of school education. When introducing new ideas, such as soft skills or extracurricular activities, it would be beneficial to explicitly connect these back to how they enhance the overall educational experience, thereby reinforcing the main thesis rather than diverting from it.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and presents a well-structured argument. With some adjustments to balance, clarity, depth, and focus, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is well-structured, presenting a clear argument that is easy to follow. The introduction effectively sets up the discussion by outlining the two opposing views and stating the writer’s position. Each paragraph addresses a distinct aspect of the argument, with the first paragraph focusing on the reasons some people believe school knowledge is irrelevant, and the second paragraph presenting the counterargument. The logical flow from one idea to the next is maintained throughout, allowing the reader to easily grasp the progression of thought.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer could consider using more explicit linking phrases at the beginning of each paragraph to signal shifts in perspective. For example, starting the second paragraph with "Conversely" or "In contrast" could strengthen the transition between opposing views, making the argument even clearer.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs clear paragraphing, with each paragraph dedicated to a specific viewpoint. The first paragraph discusses the arguments against the usefulness of school knowledge, while the second paragraph supports the opposite view. Each paragraph contains a topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples. This structure aids in readability and comprehension.
- How to improve: To further improve paragraph effectiveness, the writer could ensure that each paragraph has a concluding sentence that summarizes the main point or links back to the thesis. For instance, after discussing the benefits of school knowledge, a sentence reinforcing how these benefits contribute to the overall argument could enhance cohesion within the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "first and foremost," "for instance," and "additionally," which help to connect ideas and provide examples. These devices contribute to the overall flow of the essay and assist the reader in following the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices could be expanded to include more varied connectors and transitions.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer could incorporate phrases such as "on the contrary," "furthermore," or "in addition to" to enhance the fluidity of the argument. Additionally, using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas can help reduce repetition and improve cohesion. For example, instead of repeating "knowledge taught at school," the writer could use "this education" or "such learning" in subsequent references.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, achieving a high band score. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further elevate the clarity and effectiveness of their argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "irrelevant," "practical value," "traditional education," and "soft skills." However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the repeated use of "knowledge" and "students" could be replaced with synonyms or paraphrasing to enhance lexical diversity. Additionally, phrases like "hard exercises" and "creative careers" could be expressed in more varied ways to avoid redundancy.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should consider using synonyms or related terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "knowledge," they could use "information," "learning," or "education." Moreover, varying the expression of "students" with terms like "learners," "pupils," or "scholars" can add richness to the text.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments of imprecision. For instance, the phrase "live dependently on their families" could be more accurately expressed as "become overly reliant on their families." Additionally, the term "hard exercises" is vague; it could be specified further to "challenging mathematical problems" for clarity. The phrase "massive advantages" might also be more effectively replaced with "significant benefits" to convey a more formal tone.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should aim to choose words that convey their intended meaning more clearly. This can be achieved by expanding their vocabulary and practicing the use of context-appropriate terms. Reading more academic texts can also help in understanding how to use vocabulary in a precise manner.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors, such as "dependently," which should be "dependent," and "financial" which is used correctly but could be more effectively integrated into a phrase (e.g., "financial literacy"). Overall, spelling is generally accurate, but these minor errors detract from the overall quality of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading of their work. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading their essays aloud can help catch errors. Additionally, practicing commonly misspelled words and familiarizing themselves with academic vocabulary can further improve spelling skills.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary, there is room for improvement in terms of range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By incorporating a wider variety of terms, ensuring precise word choice, and focusing on spelling, the writer can enhance their lexical resource score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "While some opine that some knowledge taught at school is irrelevant and has little practical value, others argue that everything that students learn at school is meaningful." This structure effectively sets up a contrast between differing viewpoints. Additionally, the essay includes conditional structures and varied sentence openings, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which help to organize the argument clearly. However, there are instances of repetitive phrasing, particularly with "some" and "knowledge," which could be varied to enhance the overall fluency.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases and transition words. For example, instead of repeatedly using "some," synonyms like "certain" or "various" could be employed. Additionally, experimenting with different sentence types, such as rhetorical questions or exclamatory sentences, could add dynamism to the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors. For example, the phrase "hard exercises in mathematics and some history events bring nothing to students" could be improved by changing "some history events" to "certain historical events" for clarity and correctness. Punctuation is mostly accurate, though there are a few instances where commas could enhance readability, such as before "and forget to teach students about some soft skills" in the second paragraph.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should pay attention to subject-verb agreement and the use of articles. For instance, the phrase "students usually lack foundational skills and live dependently on their families" could be refined to "students often lack foundational skills and live dependently on their families." Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, particularly regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, will help improve clarity. Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on specific grammatical structures can also be beneficial.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and effectively communicates the writer’s perspective, but there is room for improvement in both the variety of sentence structures and the precision of grammar and punctuation.

Bài sửa mẫu

While some argue that certain knowledge taught in schools is deemed irrelevant and offers limited practical value, others contend that everything students learn at school is meaningful. This essay will examine both perspectives before presenting my support for the latter view.

On the one hand, there are two main reasons why some may believe that knowledge acquired at school is unnecessary. First and foremost, some challenging mathematical exercises and specific historical events do not benefit every student. For instance, these subjects may contribute little to those pursuing creative careers, such as art or music. Secondly, many schools rely heavily on traditional education, focusing on theoretical knowledge while neglecting to teach essential soft skills, such as problem-solving, financial literacy, and time management. As a consequence, students often lack foundational skills and may depend significantly on their families.

On the other hand, I support the view that certain subjects taught at school greatly benefit students. The most significant advantage is that they can help students broaden their horizons. For example, challenging exercises can enhance students’ logical thinking, while studying historical events can help them avoid repeating past mistakes and enhance predictive accuracy. Furthermore, the knowledge acquired at school plays a crucial role in students’ later stages of life. Although some students may find studying tedious and unproductive, it can ultimately increase job prospects when they graduate from university. Additionally, certain creative subjects, such as art and music, can foster students’ creativity and develop their cognitive abilities.

In conclusion, while some argue that knowledge taught at school is useless, I firmly believe that it provides students with substantial advantages. Nevertheless, schools should incorporate extracurricular activities and lessons on soft skills to ensure a comprehensive education for all students.