Some people claim that recycling is not very effective since most waste still ends up in landfills. They say that instead of recycling, we should focus on using fewer resources to minimise the amount of waste we create. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people claim that recycling is not very effective since most waste still ends up in landfills. They say that instead of recycling, we should focus on using fewer resources to minimise the amount of waste we create.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, it is widely believed that recycling is not the best way for reducing the full of waste that finally transport to the landfills. Therefore, residents suggested that we have to be more concentrated on choosing sustainable resources to avoid creating the huge amount of rubbish. From my perspective, I completely agree with the given idea and this essay will discuss the reasons why and elaborate upon them with supporting points.
To begin with, the sustainable resources have been decided on using in the daily life, making people improve personal finance and minimizing the amount of waste we create. Due to the fact that a significant number of commercial businesses are established in these days, there are a lot of products and items that manufacturing to suffice the needs of customers. Therefore, it would be appeared the unclearly original and poor quality goods which are not able to recycle, contributing to people waste a lot of money and also producing the full of trash in the world. This is one of the reasons making sustainable resources would be a more effective way because of long – term using and multifunction.
The other notice factor is some individuals are not able to recycle their used products because they have not had many opportunities to try this work before. Although there are some classes organized for sharing about knowledge and experience, many people can not partake in due to the financial condition and the learning ability. There are, of course, views against this opinion. Government would support citizens with the nation budget to help them have chance approaching the crucial knowledge. While this may be true in some cases, old generations have some issue about memory skills but money is not able to solve. In addition, it is not everything made from recycled material can become useful.
In conclusion, recycling has some drawbacks that it is not easy to solve. While government have ability to promote residents using the sustainable resources to reduce the amount of rubbish.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"Nowadays" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "Currently" is a more formal and precise temporal indicator suitable for academic writing, replacing the colloquial "Nowadays." -
"the full of waste that finally transport to the landfills" -> "the entire waste that ultimately ends up in landfills"
Explanation: "The entire waste that ultimately ends up in landfills" is more precise and formal, avoiding the awkward and incorrect phrase "the full of waste that finally transport to the landfills." -
"residents suggested that we have to be more concentrated on" -> "residents suggest that we must focus more on"
Explanation: "Must focus more on" is more direct and formal than "have to be more concentrated on," which is awkward and less commonly used in formal writing. -
"the huge amount of rubbish" -> "a significant amount of waste"
Explanation: "A significant amount of waste" is more precise and academically appropriate than "the huge amount of rubbish," which is somewhat informal and vague. -
"the sustainable resources have been decided on using in the daily life" -> "sustainable resources are being used in daily life"
Explanation: "Are being used in daily life" corrects the grammatical error and simplifies the phrase for clarity and formality. -
"making people improve personal finance" -> "enhancing personal finances"
Explanation: "Enhancing personal finances" is a more precise and formal way to express the improvement in financial management. -
"a lot of products and items that manufacturing to suffice the needs of customers" -> "numerous products and items manufactured to meet customer needs"
Explanation: "Numerous products and items manufactured to meet customer needs" corrects the grammatical errors and uses more formal vocabulary. -
"it would be appeared the unclearly original and poor quality goods" -> "it appears that these goods are unclearly original and of poor quality"
Explanation: This correction clarifies the sentence structure and removes the awkward and incorrect phrase "would be appeared." -
"people waste a lot of money" -> "people waste considerable funds"
Explanation: "Waste considerable funds" is more formal and precise than "waste a lot of money." -
"the full of trash in the world" -> "the vast amount of waste globally"
Explanation: "The vast amount of waste globally" is more formal and precise than "the full of trash in the world," which is colloquial and vague. -
"long – term using" -> "long-term use"
Explanation: "Long-term use" corrects the hyphenation error and is grammatically correct. -
"some individuals are not able to recycle their used products" -> "some individuals are unable to recycle their used products"
Explanation: "Are unable to" is a more formal expression than "are not able to," aligning better with academic style. -
"have not had many opportunities to try this work before" -> "have had limited opportunities to engage in this activity"
Explanation: "Have had limited opportunities to engage in this activity" is more formal and precise than "have not had many opportunities to try this work before." -
"Government would support citizens with the nation budget" -> "Government could support citizens with national funds"
Explanation: "Could support citizens with national funds" corrects the awkward phrasing and uses more precise terminology. -
"have chance approaching the crucial knowledge" -> "have the opportunity to access crucial knowledge"
Explanation: "Have the opportunity to access crucial knowledge" is more formal and clear than "have chance approaching the crucial knowledge." -
"it is not everything made from recycled material can become useful" -> "not all products made from recycled materials are useful"
Explanation: "Not all products made from recycled materials are useful" corrects the grammatical structure and uses more formal vocabulary.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the effectiveness of recycling and the alternative of using fewer resources. The writer clearly states their agreement with the idea that minimizing waste is more important than recycling. However, the response could be more balanced by explicitly acknowledging the merits of recycling before emphasizing the focus on sustainable resources. The discussion of recycling’s drawbacks is present, but it lacks a thorough exploration of the counterarguments regarding its benefits.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should explicitly outline both sides of the argument. This could involve acknowledging the importance of recycling in waste management before arguing for the prioritization of sustainable resource use. Including specific examples of successful recycling programs or statistics could also strengthen the argument.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that favors minimizing waste over recycling. However, the clarity of this position is occasionally undermined by convoluted phrasing and grammatical errors, which can confuse the reader. For instance, phrases like "the full of waste that finally transport to the landfills" detract from the overall clarity.
- How to improve: The writer should focus on simplifying sentence structures and ensuring grammatical accuracy to enhance clarity. Using straightforward language will help maintain a consistent position throughout the essay. Additionally, reiterating the main argument in the conclusion can reinforce the writer’s stance.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to the use of sustainable resources and the challenges of recycling. However, the development of these ideas is often weak. For example, the point about poor-quality goods is mentioned but not adequately explained or supported with evidence. The argument about government support lacks depth and specificity, making it less persuasive.
- How to improve: To improve the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should provide specific examples, statistics, or studies that illustrate their points. Each argument should be clearly linked to the thesis, and the writer should aim to elaborate on each point with relevant details to strengthen the overall argument.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the effectiveness of recycling versus the use of sustainable resources. However, there are moments where the discussion strays, particularly in the second paragraph, where the mention of financial conditions and learning abilities feels somewhat tangential to the main argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all points directly relate to the central argument. It may be helpful to outline the main ideas before writing to ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall thesis. Additionally, avoiding overly complex or unrelated points can help keep the essay on track.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a clear position, improvements in clarity, support for ideas, and focus on the prompt will enhance the overall effectiveness of the response.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 5
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to present a logical argument in favor of using sustainable resources over recycling. However, the organization is somewhat disjointed. For instance, the first paragraph introduces the topic but lacks a clear thesis statement that outlines the main points to be discussed. The second paragraph begins with a point about sustainable resources but does not clearly connect to the argument about recycling. The transition between ideas is often abrupt, making it difficult for the reader to follow the author’s line of reasoning.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer should start with a clear thesis statement that outlines the main arguments. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that clearly states the main idea, followed by supporting details that are logically connected. Using transitional phrases (e.g., "Furthermore," "In addition," "On the other hand") can help guide the reader through the argument.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains paragraphs, but they are not effectively structured. The first paragraph is overly long and tries to cover multiple ideas without clear separation. The second paragraph introduces a new point but lacks a clear connection to the previous one, making it feel like a separate thought rather than a continuation of the argument. Additionally, the conclusion does not effectively summarize the main points or restate the thesis.
- How to improve: The writer should ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. A clear structure should be followed: start with a topic sentence, provide supporting evidence, and conclude with a sentence that ties back to the main argument. The conclusion should succinctly summarize the key points made in the essay and reinforce the writer’s position.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses some cohesive devices, but they are limited and often incorrectly applied. For example, phrases like "the other notice factor" and "this is one of the reasons making" are awkward and detract from clarity. The essay lacks a variety of cohesive devices, which makes the flow of ideas feel repetitive and mechanical.
- How to improve: To improve cohesion, the writer should incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions (e.g., "however," "moreover"), reference words (e.g., "this," "these"), and substitution (e.g., "such as" or "for example"). Practicing the use of these devices in context can help the writer create smoother transitions between ideas and enhance the overall flow of the essay.
In summary, to achieve a higher band score for coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on organizing information logically, structuring paragraphs effectively, and using a diverse range of cohesive devices. By addressing these areas, the clarity and persuasiveness of the essay will significantly improve.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use less common terms such as "sustainable resources" and "personal finance." However, there are instances of repetition and limited variation in word choice, particularly with phrases like "the amount of waste we create" and "the full of trash." The use of phrases like "unclearly original" is awkward and detracts from the overall clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and more varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "waste" and "trash," alternatives like "refuse," "garbage," or "litter" could be utilized. Additionally, exploring more sophisticated vocabulary related to environmental issues would strengthen the essay.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "the full of waste" and "making sustainable resources would be a more effective way." These phrases are unclear and can confuse the reader. The phrase "the unclearly original and poor quality goods" is particularly problematic, as it does not convey a clear meaning.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clarity and correctness in word choice. For example, instead of "the full of waste," a more precise phrase could be "the volume of waste." Additionally, the writer should ensure that phrases are grammatically correct and convey the intended meaning clearly. Regularly consulting a thesaurus and practicing paraphrasing can also help in achieving more precise vocabulary.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "transport" (should be "transported"), "decided on using" (should be "decided to use"), and "partake in due to the financial condition" (should be "financial constraints"). These errors can disrupt the flow of reading and detract from the overall impression of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading and utilize spell-check tools. Additionally, practicing spelling common academic vocabulary and terms related to the essay topic can be beneficial. Keeping a list of frequently misspelled words and reviewing them can also help in reducing errors in future essays.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of vocabulary usage, there are significant areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling. By focusing on expanding vocabulary, ensuring precise word choice, and enhancing spelling accuracy, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criteria.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited variety of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, lacking complex structures that would enhance the overall sophistication of the writing. For example, phrases like "the sustainable resources have been decided on using" and "there are a lot of products and items that manufacturing to suffice the needs of customers" are awkwardly constructed and could be expressed more clearly. The use of passive voice is present but not effectively utilized, leading to confusion in meaning.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should practice incorporating more complex sentences, such as those that include subordinate clauses. For instance, instead of saying "the sustainable resources have been decided on using," the writer could say, "the decision to use sustainable resources has been made to promote environmental responsibility." Additionally, varying sentence beginnings and using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences will improve the overall flow and readability of the essay.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from clarity. For example, "the full of waste that finally transport to the landfills" should be corrected to "the amount of waste that ultimately ends up in landfills." Additionally, phrases like "the other notice factor" are awkward and grammatically incorrect; it should be "another important factor." Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with commas, leading to run-on sentences and unclear connections between ideas.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. For example, "the sustainable resources" should be "sustainable resources" when speaking generally. Practicing punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, will also enhance clarity. Reading the essay aloud can help identify awkward phrasing and run-on sentences, allowing for revisions that improve grammatical accuracy.
In summary, while the essay presents a relevant argument, enhancing the range of sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy and punctuation are essential steps for achieving a higher band score in the IELTS writing assessment. Regular practice and feedback will be beneficial in addressing these areas.
Bài sửa mẫu
**Improved Essay:**
Currently, it is widely believed that recycling is not the most effective method for reducing the vast amount of waste that ultimately ends up in landfills. Therefore, residents suggest that we must focus more on using sustainable resources to minimize the amount of rubbish we create. From my perspective, I completely agree with this idea, and this essay will discuss the reasons why, elaborating on them with supporting points.
To begin with, the use of sustainable resources in daily life can enhance personal finances while minimizing the amount of waste we generate. Given that a significant number of commercial businesses are established these days, numerous products and items are manufactured to meet customer needs. Consequently, it appears that these goods are often unclearly original and of poor quality, which are not easily recyclable. This contributes to people wasting considerable funds and also increases the vast amount of waste globally. This is one of the reasons why focusing on sustainable resources would be a more effective approach, as they promote long-term use and multifunctionality.
Another important factor is that some individuals are unable to recycle their used products because they have had limited opportunities to engage in this activity. Although there are classes organized to share crucial knowledge and experience, many people cannot partake due to financial constraints and varying learning abilities. While there are views against this opinion, the government could support citizens with national funds to help them access essential knowledge. While this may be true in some cases, older generations may face challenges related to memory skills, which money alone cannot resolve. Additionally, not all products made from recycled materials are useful.
In conclusion, recycling has some drawbacks that are not easy to address. While the government has the ability to promote the use of sustainable resources to reduce the amount of rubbish, a more comprehensive approach is necessary to tackle the issue effectively.