Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people’s salaries to pay for the necessary public advices such as roads and schools. Other feels that high taxes are bad thing. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people’s salaries to pay for the necessary public advices such as roads and schools. Other feels that high taxes are bad thing.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In this age and day, some people argue that most wages of the citizens should be devoted to enhancing public services investment. Meanwhile, opponents suppose that prohibitive taxes may lead the bad consequences. This essay will elucidate both of these views and present my own conclusion on shaping the equilibrium in proposing tax policies.
Firstly, taking a part of a citizen's salary can financially help to improve the communal infrastructures with the local institutions. This is because in some developing countries, the government cannot ensure the entire improvement in separate fields due to the shortage of national budget which is a knotty problem. Hence, the inhabitants should deduct a part of their expenditures into the general fund to minimize the heavy financial burden on the authorities. Furthermore, this activity is also a compulsory responsibility of a citizen in each country. This action can contribute to a great upgrade in public amenities such as schools or road systems. As a result, people of all ages may enjoy the convenience and development of our life quality.
Nevertheless, an extravagant tax on people would leave a serious impact on their domestic situation. If the government implements the over-expensive tax, the citizens can be suffered from the economical burden and lost the balance on their daily expenses, especially with the quiverful families. Moreover, this policy also results in tax evasion. Because of the fears of being taken by the prohibitive tax, people would perpetuate the unruly ways to flee which can cause chaos in society and even lead to social evils. From there, it would emerge the hot arguments between the citizens and the government. Therefore, the institutions should propose rational regulations in putting taxes on people to diminish the stresses and pressures on human lives.
In short, spending a small percentage in wages to update the communal services is a noteworthy view, meanwhile, the national authorities should propagate suitable regulations in levying annual taxes for dwellers to minimize the obstacles of costly taxes in different aspects.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"In this age and day" -> "In this day and age"
Explanation: The phrase "In this day and age" is a more idiomatic and formal expression commonly used in academic writing to refer to the current time period. -
"most wages of the citizens" -> "the majority of citizens’ wages"
Explanation: "The majority of citizens’ wages" is more precise and grammatically correct, as it correctly uses the possessive form "citizens’" to refer to the wages belonging to the citizens. -
"devoted to enhancing" -> "allocated to enhancing"
Explanation: "Allocated to enhancing" is more specific and formal, fitting the context of budgeting and financial management better than "devoted to enhancing." -
"prohibitive taxes" -> "prohibitive taxation"
Explanation: "Prohibitive taxation" is a more formal and precise term that refers to the act of imposing taxes that are too high or burdensome. -
"lead the bad consequences" -> "lead to adverse consequences"
Explanation: "Lead to adverse consequences" is more formal and academically appropriate, replacing the colloquial "bad consequences." -
"taking a part of a citizen’s salary" -> "deducting a portion of a citizen’s salary"
Explanation: "Deducting a portion of a citizen’s salary" is more precise and formal, accurately describing the action of reducing a portion of one’s income. -
"the inhabitants should deduct a part of their expenditures" -> "residents should allocate a portion of their income"
Explanation: "Residents should allocate a portion of their income" is more specific and formal, replacing the vague and less formal "inhabitants" and "expenditures." -
"the heavy financial burden on the authorities" -> "the significant financial burden on the authorities"
Explanation: "Significant" is a more precise adjective than "heavy," which is somewhat informal and vague in this context. -
"a compulsory responsibility" -> "a mandatory responsibility"
Explanation: "Mandatory" is more specific and formal than "compulsory" in the context of legal or official obligations. -
"a great upgrade in public amenities" -> "substantial improvements in public amenities"
Explanation: "Substantial improvements" is more precise and formal than "a great upgrade," which is somewhat colloquial. -
"the economical burden" -> "the economic burden"
Explanation: "Economic" is the correct term for referring to financial matters, whereas "economical" means relating to saving money or being frugal. -
"lost the balance on their daily expenses" -> "struggle to maintain their daily expenses"
Explanation: "Struggle to maintain their daily expenses" is a more accurate and formal way to describe the difficulties people face in managing their finances. -
"quiverful families" -> "families with limited resources"
Explanation: "Families with limited resources" is a more precise and formal way to describe families struggling financially, avoiding the colloquial and unclear "quiverful." -
"perpetuate the unruly ways to flee" -> "engage in illegal means to evade"
Explanation: "Engage in illegal means to evade" is more specific and formal, replacing the vague and informal "perpetuate the unruly ways to flee." -
"the hot arguments" -> "the intense debates"
Explanation: "Intense debates" is a more formal and precise term than "hot arguments," which is colloquial and less appropriate for academic writing. -
"spending a small percentage in wages" -> "dedicating a small percentage of wages"
Explanation: "Dedicating a small percentage of wages" is grammatically correct and more formal, replacing the incorrect "spending a small percentage in wages." -
"propagate suitable regulations" -> "implement suitable regulations"
Explanation: "Implement" is the correct verb for putting regulations into effect, whereas "propagate" is typically used for spreading ideas or information, not implementing policies.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument regarding taxation and public services. It presents the viewpoint that higher taxes can enhance public services, particularly in developing countries, and contrasts this with the perspective that high taxes can lead to negative consequences for citizens. The discussion of both views is balanced, and the conclusion attempts to synthesize these perspectives. However, the essay could have more explicitly stated the author’s opinion on the matter, which is somewhat vague in the conclusion.
- How to improve: To enhance the response to all parts of the question, the author should clearly articulate their opinion in the introduction and conclusion. This could involve stating whether they lean more towards supporting higher taxes for public services or opposing them due to their negative impacts. Additionally, providing specific examples or statistics to support each viewpoint would strengthen the argument.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a general position on the need for a balance in tax policies, but this position is not consistently clear throughout the essay. The introduction hints at a conclusion about equilibrium, but the lack of a definitive stance makes it harder for the reader to grasp the author’s viewpoint. The conclusion reiterates the need for rational regulations but does not clearly state the author’s final opinion on the matter.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the author should explicitly state their opinion in the introduction and reinforce it throughout the essay. Each paragraph should connect back to this central argument, ensuring that the reader understands the author’s perspective on the issue.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to the benefits of taxation for public services and the drawbacks of high taxes. However, some ideas are not fully developed or supported with concrete examples. For instance, while the essay mentions that high taxes can lead to tax evasion, it does not provide specific examples or evidence to illustrate this point. The discussion on the benefits of taxes is somewhat general and could benefit from more detailed explanations.
- How to improve: To improve the presentation and support of ideas, the author should include specific examples, statistics, or case studies that illustrate the points being made. This could involve discussing specific countries or situations where high taxes have either benefited public services or led to negative consequences. Additionally, elaborating on each point with more depth would enhance the overall argument.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the implications of taxation on public services and the potential drawbacks of high taxes. However, there are moments where the language becomes slightly convoluted, which may distract from the main topic. For example, phrases like "the quiverful families" are unclear and could confuse the reader, detracting from the overall focus of the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and clarity, the author should ensure that all language used is precise and relevant to the topic. Avoiding overly complex phrases and ensuring that each sentence contributes directly to the argument will help keep the essay on track. Additionally, reviewing the essay for clarity and coherence can help eliminate any potential distractions from the main points.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a balanced discussion, improvements in clarity, support, and explicit articulation of the author’s position would enhance the overall effectiveness of the response.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with an introduction that outlines the two opposing views and a thesis statement that indicates the writer’s intention to discuss both perspectives. Each paragraph addresses a specific viewpoint, with the first paragraph focusing on the benefits of taxation for public services and the second on the drawbacks of high taxes. However, the logical flow could be improved; for instance, the transition between the two viewpoints could be more explicit to enhance the reader’s understanding of the relationship between the arguments.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences that explicitly state the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, incorporating transitional phrases such as "On the other hand" or "Conversely" at the beginning of the second paragraph could help clarify the shift from one viewpoint to the other.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is crucial for readability. Each paragraph is focused on a single aspect of the discussion. However, the paragraphs could benefit from more distinct separation of ideas. For example, the second paragraph could be further divided to separately address the impact of high taxes on families and the potential for tax evasion, which would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea, supported by relevant examples or explanations. Consider breaking the second paragraph into two distinct sections: one discussing the financial burden on families and another addressing tax evasion. This would provide clearer focus and enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "firstly," "furthermore," and "nevertheless," which help to connect ideas within paragraphs. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and some phrases are used repetitively. For instance, the use of "this" to refer back to previous statements could be varied to include synonyms or more specific references to the ideas discussed.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "in addition," "consequently," "for instance," and "as a result." This will not only enhance the flow of the essay but also clarify the connections between ideas. Additionally, varying sentence structures can help maintain the reader’s interest and improve the overall cohesion of the essay.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents coherent arguments, there are opportunities for improvement in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance the clarity and effectiveness of their writing, potentially achieving a higher band score in coherence and cohesion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "communal infrastructures," "prohibitive taxes," and "economic burden." However, there are instances where the vocabulary is somewhat limited or repetitive. For example, the phrase "public services investment" could be varied with alternatives like "public sector funding" or "investment in public services." Additionally, the use of "extravagant tax" is somewhat awkward and could be replaced with "excessive tax" for better clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should explore synonyms and related terms that convey similar meanings. Utilizing a thesaurus can help identify alternatives that fit the context better. Incorporating more varied expressions related to taxation and public services would also enrich the essay.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains some imprecise vocabulary choices that may confuse the reader. For instance, the phrase "the bad consequences" is vague; a more precise term such as "negative consequences" or "adverse effects" would clarify the intended meaning. Additionally, "the inhabitants should deduct a part of their expenditures" is misleading; it would be more accurate to say "contribute a portion of their income" since taxes are not typically deducted from expenditures.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately reflects the intended message. Reviewing definitions and contexts of words before using them can help ensure that the chosen vocabulary is appropriate. Practicing with academic writing resources can also aid in developing a more precise vocabulary.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "advices" (should be "advice"), "quiverful" (which is an uncommon term and may not be appropriate in this context), and "perpetuate the unruly ways to flee" (which is awkward and may confuse readers). These errors detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, ideally using spell-check tools. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises and reading more extensively can help reinforce correct spelling patterns. Keeping a list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them regularly can also be beneficial.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a fair attempt at using vocabulary relevant to the topic, there is significant room for improvement in terms of range, precision, and spelling accuracy. Focusing on these areas will help elevate the lexical resource score in future essays.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures. For instance, complex sentences such as "If the government implements the over-expensive tax, the citizens can be suffered from the economical burden and lost the balance on their daily expenses" show an attempt to convey nuanced ideas. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and unclear structures, such as "the inhabitants should deduct a part of their expenditures into the general fund," which could be simplified for clarity. The use of phrases like "this activity is also a compulsory responsibility of a citizen" indicates an attempt to use formal language, but it could be more effectively expressed.
- How to improve: To enhance the range and effectiveness of sentence structures, the writer should practice using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences. Incorporating more varied conjunctions and transition phrases can also help improve flow and coherence. For example, instead of saying "this activity is also a compulsory responsibility," the writer could say, "Moreover, contributing to public services is a civic duty that benefits all citizens." Regular practice with sentence combining exercises can also aid in developing more sophisticated structures.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For example, "the citizens can be suffered from the economical burden" should be corrected to "the citizens may suffer from the economic burden." The phrase "the bad consequences" is vague and could be more effectively articulated as "negative consequences." Additionally, punctuation errors, such as the lack of commas in compound sentences, can lead to confusion. For instance, "Because of the fears of being taken by the prohibitive tax, people would perpetuate the unruly ways to flee which can cause chaos in society" could benefit from a comma before "which."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement, verb forms, and the correct use of articles. Regular grammar exercises, particularly focusing on common error patterns, can be beneficial. Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, especially for complex sentences, will help enhance clarity. Reading more academic texts can also provide examples of correct grammar and punctuation in context, aiding in the internalization of these rules.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a commendable effort in using a range of structures and maintaining a formal tone, addressing the highlighted weaknesses will significantly enhance the writer’s grammatical range and accuracy, potentially raising their band score in future assessments.
Bài sửa mẫu
In this day and age, some people argue that the majority of citizens’ wages should be devoted to enhancing public services investment. Meanwhile, opponents believe that prohibitive taxes may lead to adverse consequences. This essay will elucidate both of these views and present my own conclusion on shaping the equilibrium in proposing tax policies.
Firstly, deducting a portion of a citizen’s salary can financially help to improve communal infrastructure and local institutions. This is because, in some developing countries, the government cannot ensure the entire improvement in separate fields due to the shortage of the national budget, which is a knotty problem. Hence, residents should allocate a portion of their income to the general fund to minimize the significant financial burden on the authorities. Furthermore, this activity is also a mandatory responsibility of citizens in each country. This action can contribute to substantial improvements in public amenities such as schools and road systems. As a result, people of all ages may enjoy the convenience and development of our quality of life.
Nevertheless, an extravagant tax on people would leave a serious impact on their domestic situation. If the government implements an over-expensive tax, citizens can suffer from the economic burden and lose the balance in their daily expenses, especially families with limited resources. Moreover, this policy also results in tax evasion. Because of the fear of being affected by prohibitive taxes, people may engage in illegal means to evade them, which can cause chaos in society and even lead to social evils. From there, intense debates would emerge between citizens and the government. Therefore, institutions should implement suitable regulations in taxing people to diminish the stresses and pressures on human lives.
In short, dedicating a small percentage of wages to update communal services is a noteworthy view. Meanwhile, national authorities should propagate suitable regulations in levying annual taxes for residents to minimize the obstacles of costly taxes in different aspects.