Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods, while others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods, while others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent years, the issue of excess packaging has become a pressing concern, as it directly contributes to environmental degradation. While some people argue that manufacturers and supermarkets should take the lead in reducing packaging, others believe that customers should bear the onus of this challenge. In this essay, I will elaborate both perspectives before arriving at a personal viewpoint.

On the one hand, proponents of the thinking that manufacturers and supermarkets should take responsibility argue that they have significant influence over production and distribution of goods; hence these parties could make significant changes in the market. As the primary creators and distributors of packaged products, they are in a unique position to develop sustainable packaging and promote innovative solutions. For example, if eco-friendly packaging such as biodegradation bags were opted to replace plastic bags, a reduction in plastic waste is much a result of this initiative. In addition to this, they could actively promote a sustainable campaign to encourage people to follow the suit, leading to decreasing wastes from ungradable packed-products to a great extent.

On the other hand, advocates of the idea that reducing the amount of packaging of goods lies with customers argue that customers play a crucial role in driving market behaviors. They contend that by making the conscious decisions to purchase minimalist-designed and environmentally-friendly packaging somewhat creates a ripple effect, meaning that everyone tends to do the same by collecting sustainable products, further initializing consumers to have a sense of responsible consumption. It is common to see that manufacturers and supermarkets often place importance on profits, so they are likely to unveil sustainable alternatives to meet demands in the long term.

From my perspective, a combination of both approaches is necessary for a comprehensive solution. While manufacturers and supermarkets should be encouraged to minimize packaging size and adopt sustainable activities, individuals should support environmentally-friendly products, creating a demand to prioritize sustainable practices.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "In recent years, the issue of excess packaging has become a pressing concern" -> "In recent years, the problem of excessive packaging has emerged as a significant concern."
   Explanation: The revised sentence uses a more formal and precise vocabulary, replacing "issue" with "problem" and "pressing concern" with "significant concern."

2. "bear the onus of this challenge" -> "assume the responsibility for addressing this challenge"
   Explanation: The phrase "bear the onus" is somewhat informal. Replacing it with "assume the responsibility" maintains a formal tone and clarity.

3. "elaborate both perspectives" -> "explore both viewpoints in detail"
   Explanation: "Elaborate" can be replaced with "explore" for a more academic and precise expression.

4. "proponents of the thinking that" -> "advocates of the belief that"
   Explanation: "Proponents of the thinking that" is somewhat redundant and less formal. "Advocates of the belief that" is a more suitable phrase.

5. "much a result of this initiative" -> "a significant outcome of this endeavor"
   Explanation: The phrase "much a result of" is informal. Replacing it with "a significant outcome of this endeavor" adds formality and clarity.

6. "reduce the amount of packaging of goods" -> "minimize the packaging of products"
   Explanation: "Reduce the amount of packaging of goods" can be simplified to "minimize the packaging of products" for clarity and conciseness.

7. "further initializing consumers" -> "further incentivizing consumers"
   Explanation: "Initializing" is not the most appropriate term here. "Incentivizing" is a more precise word for encouraging consumers.

8. "meet demands in the long term" -> "fulfill long-term demands"
   Explanation: "Meet demands in the long term" can be replaced with "fulfill long-term demands" for a more formal expression.

9. "From my perspective" -> "In my view"
   Explanation: "From my perspective" is slightly informal. "In my view" is a more common and formal way to express personal opinion.

10. "creating a demand to prioritize sustainable practices" -> "generating a demand for prioritizing sustainable practices"
    Explanation: "Creating a demand to prioritize" can be improved by using "generating a demand for prioritizing" to enhance formality and clarity.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Task Response: 9

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay thoroughly addresses all parts of the question. It discusses both perspectives (manufacturers/supermarkets’ responsibility and customers’ responsibility) and provides a clear personal viewpoint.
  • How to improve: No improvement needed in this aspect; the essay has fully addressed the question.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent stance throughout. It begins by presenting both perspectives and then clearly states the author’s personal viewpoint.
  • How to improve: The clarity and consistency of the position are excellent; no improvement needed.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, elaborates, and supports ideas. It provides specific examples for both perspectives, such as the use of biodegradable bags for manufacturers and the ripple effect of responsible consumption for customers.
  • How to improve: The essay already excels in presenting, extending, and supporting ideas; no improvement needed.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout and does not deviate from the discussion of packaging responsibility.
  • How to improve: The essay maintains a strong focus on the topic, and no improvement is necessary in this regard.

Overall, this essay deserves a Band Score of 9 for Task Response. It thoroughly addresses the essay prompt, maintains a clear and consistent position, effectively presents and supports ideas, and stays on topic. It provides a well-structured and well-supported argument, making it an excellent response to the prompt.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 9

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a high level of logical organization throughout. It effectively introduces the topic, presents both sides of the argument in separate paragraphs, and concludes with a clear personal viewpoint. The progression of ideas is smooth, and the essay maintains a clear line of reasoning.
  • How to improve: There is little room for improvement in this aspect. Continue to maintain this level of logical organization in your essays.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas and arguments. Each paragraph is dedicated to a specific viewpoint (manufacturers/supermarkets and customers) and provides a clear structure for the reader to follow.
  • How to improve: There is no need for improvement in paragraph usage in this essay. Keep using paragraphs to separate ideas and maintain clarity.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases (e.g., "On the one hand," "On the other hand," "From my perspective"), pronoun references (e.g., "they," "these parties"), and repetition of key terms (e.g., "sustainable," "packaging"). These cohesive devices enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
  • How to improve: The use of cohesive devices in this essay is effective. However, for further improvement, consider incorporating a broader range of synonyms or alternative expressions to avoid repetitive language while maintaining coherence.

Overall, the essay demonstrates exceptional coherence and cohesion. It effectively organizes information, uses paragraphs to structure content, and employs a range of cohesive devices to connect ideas. Continue to focus on maintaining this high level of coherence and cohesion in your writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 9

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a wide range of vocabulary throughout, with the use of various terms related to packaging, environmental concerns, and sustainability. Examples include "excess packaging," "environmental degradation," "sustainable packaging," "biodegradation bags," "plastic waste," "sustainable campaign," "responsible consumption," and "environmentally-friendly products." This variety of vocabulary enriches the essay’s content and demonstrates a strong command of language.
  • How to improve: There is little room for improvement in this aspect, as the essay already uses a diverse range of vocabulary effectively. However, the writer should continue to expand their vocabulary to maintain consistency in this high level of lexical resource.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with precision. For instance, the terms "biodegradation bags" and "sustainable packaging" are used accurately to convey specific ideas related to eco-friendly solutions. However, there are a few instances where vocabulary could be more precise. For example, in the phrase "ungradable packed-products," the term "ungradable" may be less precise than "non-recyclable" or "non-biodegradable." Additionally, the term "minimalist-designed" could be clarified further to specify what aspects of design are considered minimalist.
  • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should be careful when using terms that may have broader interpretations. Providing more specific details and explanations when introducing new concepts can further improve the precision of vocabulary.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a high level of spelling accuracy. No noticeable spelling errors are present in the text, which reflects a strong command of correct spelling.
  • How to improve: Since spelling accuracy is already excellent, it is important for the writer to maintain this level of accuracy by proofreading and editing carefully in future essays.

Overall, the essay has achieved a Band Score of 9 for Lexical Resource. It effectively utilizes a wide range of vocabulary, generally employs vocabulary with precision, and maintains correct spelling throughout. To maintain and potentially improve this high score, the writer should continue expanding their vocabulary and paying attention to precision when using terms that may have multiple interpretations. Spelling accuracy should be consistently maintained through careful proofreading and editing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 9

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. It employs simple, compound, and complex sentences effectively. For instance, the author uses complex sentences like "As the primary creators and distributors of packaged products, they are in a unique position to develop sustainable packaging and promote innovative solutions" to convey complex ideas. Additionally, there is a good mix of sentence lengths, which adds to the overall readability of the essay.
  • How to improve: To further enhance the range of structures, consider integrating more complex sentences and experimenting with different sentence beginnings (e.g., starting with a subordinate clause or an introductory phrase) to create more stylistic variation. This can help in making the essay even more engaging.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a high level of grammatical accuracy throughout. There are no major grammatical errors or punctuation issues. The sentences are well-structured and convey ideas clearly. For instance, the sentence "While manufacturers and supermarkets should be encouraged to minimize packaging size and adopt sustainable activities, individuals should support environmentally-friendly products, creating a demand to prioritize sustainable practices" is grammatically sound.
  • How to improve: Given the excellent grammatical accuracy in the essay, the primary focus should be on maintaining this level of proficiency in future essays. It’s important to continue proofreading carefully to catch any minor errors that may occasionally slip through.

Overall, this essay showcases strong grammatical range and accuracy, with only minor opportunities for improvement. The writer’s ability to use a wide range of structures and maintain grammatical and punctuation accuracy contributes significantly to the essay’s overall excellence. Keep up the excellent work!

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent years, the problem of excessive packaging has emerged as a significant concern due to its direct contribution to environmental degradation. Some individuals argue that it is the manufacturers and supermarkets who should assume the responsibility for addressing this challenge, while others advocate the belief that consumers should take it upon themselves to avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. In this essay, I will explore both viewpoints in detail before expressing my own opinion.

On one hand, proponents of the belief that manufacturers and supermarkets should take responsibility argue that these entities possess substantial influence over the production and distribution of goods. Consequently, they have the capacity to make meaningful changes in the market. Being the primary creators and distributors of packaged products, they find themselves in a unique position to develop sustainable packaging and promote innovative solutions. For instance, opting for eco-friendly alternatives like biodegradable bags instead of plastic bags could yield a significant outcome in reducing plastic waste. Additionally, they could actively engage in sustainable campaigns to encourage people to follow suit, ultimately leading to a substantial decrease in waste from non-biodegradable packaged products.

On the other hand, advocates of the idea that reducing the amount of packaging of goods lies with customers argue that consumers play a crucial role in shaping market behaviors. They contend that making conscious decisions to purchase products with minimalist and environmentally-friendly packaging can create a ripple effect. This means that when individuals start buying sustainable products, it encourages others to do the same, further incentivizing consumers to adopt responsible consumption habits. Manufacturers and supermarkets, driven by the demand for such products, are more likely to introduce sustainable alternatives to meet the long-term demands of the market.

In my view, a combination of both approaches is necessary for a comprehensive solution. While manufacturers and supermarkets should be encouraged to minimize the packaging of products and embrace sustainable practices, individuals should actively support environmentally-friendly products. This dual approach has the potential to generate a demand for prioritizing sustainable practices in the market, fulfilling the long-term demands of both environmental conservation and responsible consumption.