Some people find history a fascinating subject. OtherSome people find history a fascinating subject. Others say it is dull and has no place in modern life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.s say it is dull and has no place in modern life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people find history a fascinating subject. OtherSome people find history a fascinating subject. Others say it is dull and has no place in modern life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.s say it is dull and has no place in modern life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is widely acknowledged that learning history is an interesting subject for people. Conversely, others argue that it is boring and has no position in modern life. In this essay, I would discuss both aforementioned ideas, and in my opinion, I totally support the former for several reasons.
On the one hand, some people feel bored and uninterested when they study history. This is because they think it brings no practical value to them. More specially, history for them is gone-through things. Therefore, they tend to study science subjects such as math, physics or chemicals instead since it benefits their job prospects. For example, nowadays, there are a lot of parents who encourage their children to gain access to mathematics to improve their brain power and seem to see history as not having a significant role.
On the other hand, others suggest that learning history is fascinating, and I strongly approve of this viewpoint because it gives people various beneficial effects. Firstly, it assists people to explore the roots of current problems. Particularly, because everything happening in the world follows a specific rule and has a loop, through history lessons, people could learn from past mistakes. As a result, they suppose proper solutions avoiding repeating their ancestor’s mistakes to effectively deal with present social issues. Moreover, history also helps humans in each nation develop profound insight into their national culture and achievements. People studying deeply history understand clearly how their ancestor had to make attempts to create fundamental knowledge for them. From that, modern people are conscious of their responsibilities for life and society.
In conclusion, it is argued that learning history is boring while others suppose that it is compelling. From my viewpoint, I completely agree with the latter due to its benefits more than its shortages.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "It is widely acknowledged" -> "It is commonly recognized"
   Explanation: "Commonly recognized" is a more precise and formal term that enhances the academic tone of the statement.

2. "an interesting subject" -> "an engaging subject"
   Explanation: "Engaging" is more specific and academically appropriate than "interesting," which can be seen as too casual for formal writing.

3. "boring and has no position" -> "uninteresting and lacks relevance"
   Explanation: "Lacks relevance" is a more precise and formal way to express the idea that something is not useful or applicable in modern life.

4. "I would discuss" -> "I will discuss"
   Explanation: "I will discuss" is more assertive and formal, fitting better in academic writing.

5. "I totally support" -> "I strongly support"
   Explanation: "Strongly support" is a more formal expression than "totally support," which can be seen as overly emphatic and informal.

6. "More specially" -> "More specifically"
   Explanation: "Specifically" is the correct adverbial form for emphasizing the detail or particular aspect being discussed.

7. "gone-through things" -> "past events"
   Explanation: "Past events" is a more precise and formal term than "gone-through things," which is vague and informal.

8. "math, physics or chemicals" -> "mathematics, physics, or chemistry"
   Explanation: Using the full names of subjects (mathematics, physics, and chemistry) enhances formality and clarity.

9. "gain access to" -> "study"
   Explanation: "Study" is a more direct and formal way to express the action of learning, eliminating the unnecessary phrase "gain access to."

10. "improve their brain power" -> "enhance their cognitive abilities"
    Explanation: "Enhance their cognitive abilities" is a more precise and academically appropriate phrase than "improve their brain power," which is colloquial.

11. "seem to see" -> "appear to view"
    Explanation: "Appear to view" is a more formal expression than "seem to see," which is less precise and more conversational.

12. "fascinating" -> "intriguing"
    Explanation: "Intriguing" is a more academically suitable adjective than "fascinating," which can be seen as overly emotional and informal.

13. "gives people various beneficial effects" -> "offers numerous benefits"
    Explanation: "Offers numerous benefits" is a more concise and formal way to express the advantages of learning history.

14. "suppose proper solutions" -> "propose effective solutions"
    Explanation: "Propose effective solutions" is a more precise and formal expression than "suppose proper solutions," which is awkward and unclear.

15. "avoiding repeating their ancestor’s mistakes" -> "avoiding the repetition of their ancestors’ mistakes"
    Explanation: "Avoiding the repetition of their ancestors’ mistakes" is grammatically correct and more formal, improving clarity and precision.

16. "helps humans in each nation" -> "assists individuals in each nation"
    Explanation: "Assists individuals" is more specific and formal than "helps humans," which is vague and less formal.

17. "study deeply history" -> "study history deeply"
    Explanation: "Study history deeply" is grammatically correct and more natural in English usage.

18. "suppose" -> "believe"
    Explanation: "Believe" is a more appropriate verb in this context than "suppose," which is typically used for hypothetical situations.

19. "its benefits more than its shortages" -> "its advantages over its disadvantages"
    Explanation: "Advantages over disadvantages" is a more formal and precise way to compare the positive and negative aspects of something.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding the perception of history. The first viewpoint is presented in the first paragraph, where the author discusses the belief that history is boring and lacks practical value. The second viewpoint is articulated in the following paragraph, emphasizing the benefits of studying history. However, while both perspectives are acknowledged, the discussion could be more balanced, as the second viewpoint is given more emphasis and detail.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, the author should aim for a more equal treatment of both views. This could involve providing more examples or elaboration on the arguments against studying history, ensuring that both sides are explored in a similar depth. Additionally, the conclusion should reiterate the discussion of both views before presenting the author’s opinion.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position in favor of the view that history is fascinating. This stance is maintained throughout the essay, particularly in the second paragraph where the author elaborates on the benefits of studying history. However, the transition from discussing the opposing view to the author’s opinion could be clearer, as it feels somewhat abrupt.
  • How to improve: To maintain clarity and consistency, the author could use transitional phrases to guide the reader through the argument. For instance, after discussing the opposing view, a phrase like "Despite these criticisms, I believe…" could help to signal the shift to the author’s perspective more smoothly.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas supporting the notion that history is valuable, such as learning from past mistakes and understanding cultural heritage. However, some ideas are not fully developed. For example, the notion of learning from past mistakes is introduced but could benefit from a specific historical example to illustrate the point more vividly.
  • How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the author should aim to provide specific examples or case studies that illustrate the benefits of studying history. This could involve referencing historical events or figures that exemplify the lessons learned from history, thereby enriching the argument and making it more persuasive.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the discussion of history as a subject. However, there are moments where the language becomes slightly convoluted, such as "history for them is gone-through things," which could confuse the reader and detract from the main argument.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus and clarity, the author should strive for more precise language and avoid ambiguous phrases. Simplifying complex sentences and ensuring that each sentence directly contributes to the argument will help keep the essay on topic and enhance overall readability. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing would improve the clarity of the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents a coherent argument. By addressing the suggestions for improvement, the author can enhance the clarity, balance, and depth of their response, potentially raising their score in future essays.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs discussing opposing views, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and the body paragraphs are logically divided between the two perspectives. However, the transition between the two viewpoints could be smoother. For instance, the phrase "On the one hand" is followed by a paragraph that could benefit from a more explicit contrast to the subsequent paragraph, which begins with "On the other hand." This could enhance the logical flow of ideas.
  • How to improve: To improve logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly contrast the two viewpoints, such as "In contrast" or "Conversely." Additionally, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main idea, which will help guide the reader through the argument.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct idea. The first body paragraph discusses the viewpoint that history is dull, while the second presents the opposing view. However, the paragraphs could be more balanced in length and depth. The first body paragraph is relatively short and lacks detailed examples, while the second is more developed and includes multiple points.
  • How to improve: Aim for a more balanced approach by expanding on the first body paragraph. Include specific examples or anecdotes that illustrate why some people find history uninteresting. This will not only enhance the depth of the argument but also ensure that both sides are given equal weight in the discussion.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "firstly," "moreover," and "in conclusion," which help to connect ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the flow could be improved. For example, the phrase "this is because" is used to introduce a reason, but it could be varied to avoid repetition.
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "in addition," "however," and "on the contrary." This will enhance the overall coherence of the essay. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used appropriately to maintain clarity and avoid confusion.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially leading to an improved band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. Phrases such as "learning history is an interesting subject" and "various beneficial effects" show an attempt to use diverse expressions. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly with terms like "history" and "people," which appear frequently without sufficient variation. The phrase "boring and has no position in modern life" lacks sophistication and could be expressed in a more nuanced manner.
  • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms or related terms. For example, instead of repeating "history," you could use "historical studies," "the past," or "historical events." Additionally, phrases like "lack of relevance" or "perceived irrelevance" could replace "has no position" for greater impact.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: While the essay includes some precise vocabulary, there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "gone-through things" is vague and does not clearly convey the intended meaning. Similarly, "chemicals" in the context of academic subjects is misleading; "chemistry" would be more appropriate. The phrase "proper solutions avoiding repeating their ancestor’s mistakes" is awkward and could be clearer.
  • How to improve: Focus on using vocabulary that accurately reflects the intended meaning. Replace vague phrases with more specific terms. For instance, instead of "gone-through things," consider "events of the past." Ensure that subject names are used correctly, such as using "chemistry" instead of "chemicals." Additionally, rephrase awkward constructions for clarity, such as "to avoid repeating the mistakes of their ancestors."

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "more specially" (should be "more specifically") and "ancestor’s" (should be "ancestors" for plural). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can confuse the reader.
  • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, practice writing commonly used academic vocabulary and utilize spell-check tools. Additionally, read more academic texts to familiarize yourself with correct spellings. Consider creating a list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them regularly. Proofreading the essay before submission can also help catch these errors.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable attempt at using vocabulary, there are clear areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling. By expanding vocabulary, ensuring precise usage, and enhancing spelling accuracy, the overall quality of the writing can be significantly improved.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "because everything happening in the world follows a specific rule and has a loop." However, there are instances of repetitive structures, such as "some people feel bored" and "others suggest that learning history is fascinating," which could be varied further. Additionally, the essay relies heavily on simple and compound sentences, which limits the overall complexity and sophistication of the writing.
  • How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences and varied clauses. For example, using conditional clauses ("If people study history, they may understand current issues better") or participial phrases ("Having studied history, individuals can appreciate their cultural heritage") can add depth. Practicing sentence combining exercises or exploring different ways to express similar ideas can also help diversify sentence structures.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits several grammatical inaccuracies and punctuation errors. For instance, the phrase "more specially" should be "more specifically," and "gone-through things" is awkward and unclear. Additionally, the use of commas is inconsistent, as seen in "math, physics or chemicals," which should include a comma before "or" for clarity. The phrase "to effectively deal with present social issues" could be improved by rephrasing for clarity and conciseness.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, such as incorrect word forms and awkward phrases. Engaging in targeted grammar exercises, particularly focusing on commonly misused structures and punctuation rules, can be beneficial. Reading more academic texts can also help the writer internalize correct grammatical forms and punctuation usage. Furthermore, seeking feedback from peers or using grammar-check tools can provide additional insights into areas needing improvement.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and enhancing grammatical accuracy will elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is commonly recognized that learning history is an engaging subject for many people. Conversely, others argue that it is uninteresting and lacks relevance in modern life. In this essay, I will discuss both of these views, and in my opinion, I strongly support the former for several reasons.

On the one hand, some individuals find studying history dull and unappealing. This is because they believe it offers no practical value to their lives. More specifically, they view history as a collection of past events that do not impact their future. Consequently, they tend to focus on science subjects such as mathematics, physics, or chemistry instead, as these fields are perceived to enhance their job prospects. For example, many parents today encourage their children to excel in mathematics to improve their cognitive abilities, often regarding history as having little significance.

On the other hand, others propose that learning history is intriguing, and I strongly support this viewpoint because it offers numerous benefits. Firstly, it assists individuals in exploring the roots of current problems. Particularly, since everything happening in the world follows specific patterns and cycles, history lessons enable people to learn from past mistakes. As a result, they can propose effective solutions while avoiding the repetition of their ancestors’ errors to effectively address present social issues. Moreover, history also helps people in each nation develop a profound understanding of their national culture and achievements. Those who study history deeply gain insight into the struggles their ancestors faced to create fundamental knowledge for future generations. This awareness fosters a sense of responsibility towards life and society.

In conclusion, while some argue that learning history is dull, others believe it is compelling. From my viewpoint, I completely agree with the latter due to its advantages over its disadvantages.