Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There are two kinds of people: those that never want anything in their lives to change, and those that relish change and are always on the lookout for a new challenge. From my perspective, a stable life is satisfying and comfortable, but every once in a while, doing something different is necessary for a fulfilling life.
Most people get settled in a life which has a somewhat predictable set of activities, but there are some on the extreme end. They abhor any alterations to their daily schedule. These are people who will take a good job with one company, and stick with it their entire career. They prefer the food that their mother had cooked and their core circle of friends are from childhood. Their lives are easy and comfortable, but can be boring and repetitive.
On the opposite extreme, there are those who embrace anything new. They try different types of cuisine, have a bucket list of places to visit, and enroll in adult education classes to meet people. Nearly every day is a challenge and life is incredibly exciting. Of course, they have more failures and disappointments as things do not work out as they expect, but they just put it behind them and go on. Such a life is invigorating and challenging, but quite unstable and unsettling.
My preference is a life that has stability, but I am not fearful of change. I am opportunistic, always aware of potential changes that will make me happier and more satisfied.
In summary, there are extremes of people who either abhor or relish changes in their lives, but I am somewhat in between.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
Errors and Improvements:
"doing something different is necessary for a fulfilling life" -> "engaging in varied experiences is essential for a fulfilling life"
Explanation: Replacing "doing something different" with "engaging in varied experiences" adds sophistication and avoids the colloquial tone associated with "something different."
"They abhor any alterations to their daily schedule." -> "They vehemently resist any modifications to their daily routine."
Explanation: Substituting "abhor" with "vehemently resist" and "alterations" with "modifications" enhances the formality of the sentence while maintaining clarity.
"Their lives are easy and comfortable, but can be boring and repetitive." -> "Their lives are tranquil and comfortable, yet may become monotonous and repetitive."
Explanation: Replacing "easy" with "tranquil" and "boring" with "monotonous" elevates the language to a more formal level, providing a nuanced description of their lives.
"They try different types of cuisine" -> "They explore diverse culinary offerings."
Explanation: Substituting "try" with "explore" and "types of cuisine" with "diverse culinary offerings" contributes to a more sophisticated and formal expression.
"Nearly every day is a challenge and life is incredibly exciting." -> "Almost every day presents challenges, making life remarkably exhilarating."
Explanation: Replacing "nearly" with "almost," and "incredibly exciting" with "remarkably exhilarating" adds precision and formality to the description of the daily challenges.
"Such a life is invigorating and challenging, but quite unstable and unsettling." -> "While such a life is invigorating and challenging, it tends to be somewhat unstable and unsettling."
Explanation: Adding "while" at the beginning of the sentence improves the transition, and replacing "quite" with "somewhat" refines the degree of instability, maintaining a more measured tone.
"I am opportunistic, always aware of potential changes that will make me happier and more satisfied." -> "I am opportunistic, consistently attuned to potential changes that could enhance my well-being and satisfaction."
Explanation: Substituting "always aware of" with "consistently attuned to" and "make me happier" with "enhance my well-being" contributes to a more formal and precise expression of the author’s mindset.
"there are extremes of people" -> "there are individuals at opposite ends of the spectrum"
Explanation: Replacing "extremes of people" with "individuals at opposite ends of the spectrum" provides a more formal and nuanced description of the varying preferences.
Note: Overall, these changes aim to elevate the language, maintain formality, and enhance precision in expressing the author’s ideas.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Quoted text: "Most people get settled in a life which has a somewhat predictable set of activities, but there are some on the extreme end. They abhor any alterations to their daily schedule."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay has effectively presented the perspective of individuals who resist change. However, to enhance your response, provide a specific example or anecdote to illustrate the challenges and drawbacks faced by people who avoid any alterations to their daily schedule. This would add depth to your argument and make it more convincing.
- Improved example: "Most individuals tend to settle into a routine, finding comfort in predictability. For instance, a friend of mine has followed the same daily schedule for years, from waking up at the same time to having the exact breakfast. This rigid routine, while offering stability, often leads to missed opportunities and a sense of monotony."
Quoted text: "Their lives are easy and comfortable, but can be boring and repetitive."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: Your essay correctly points out the potential downside of a stable but unchanging life. To strengthen this argument, provide a concrete example of how this predictability can hinder personal and professional growth. This will make your point more vivid and relatable to the readers.
- Improved example: "While a life of routine may seem easy and comfortable, it can inadvertently stifle personal and professional growth. For instance, individuals who stick to the same job for decades might miss out on valuable opportunities for career advancement, limiting their overall satisfaction and fulfillment."
Quoted text: "Such a life is invigorating and challenging, but quite unstable and unsettling."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay effectively describes the dynamic and challenging nature of a life that embraces change. However, to strengthen your argument, provide a specific example or scenario where the instability caused by constant change may lead to negative consequences. This would add nuance to your perspective.
- Improved example: "While a life full of change can be invigorating, it comes with its own set of challenges. Consider a person who frequently changes jobs and locations; the constant upheaval may lead to a lack of stability in relationships and a feeling of constant unsettlement."
Overall, your essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a balanced view on the preference for stability or change. Enhancing it with more specific examples will make your arguments more compelling and persuasive.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information and ideas, providing a clear progression throughout the text. The introduction effectively sets up the discussion, and each paragraph is focused on a specific aspect of the topic. The use of cohesive devices is generally appropriate, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay. There is a variety of sentence structures, enhancing the flow of ideas. The essay presents a central topic within each paragraph, contributing to the overall clarity.
However, there is room for improvement in the use of cohesive devices. While there is a range of them used appropriately, there are instances of slight overuse or underuse. Some sentences could benefit from more explicit connections, enhancing the coherence further.
How to improve:
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider refining the use of cohesive devices. Ensure that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are explicit, providing a smoother flow of ideas. Additionally, strive for a more consistent application of cohesive devices to avoid occasional overuse or underuse. Overall, maintaining the logical organization displayed in the essay and fine-tuning the use of cohesive elements will enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of the writing.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task. There is an attempt to present contrasting ideas using a mix of vocabulary, though it could benefit from more varied expressions and less repetitive use of certain terms like "change," "life," and "people." While attempting to discuss opposing viewpoints, the vocabulary lacks a higher level of sophistication and depth in expressing these concepts. Some less common vocabulary is employed, but with occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation.
How to improve:
- Variety in Vocabulary: Expand the lexicon to encompass more diverse synonyms and expressions to avoid repetitive use of certain terms.
- Sophistication in Expression: Aim for more nuanced and sophisticated vocabulary to elevate the discussion of contrasting ideas and perspectives.
- Greater Precision: Ensure accuracy in word choice and collocation to convey ideas more precisely and effectively.
Achieving a higher band score could involve enhancing vocabulary depth, refining the use of less common lexical items, and minimizing repetitive language to convey ideas with greater precision and sophistication.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good control of grammar and punctuation, producing frequent error-free sentences. The writer employs a variety of complex structures, showcasing a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. While there are some errors in grammar and punctuation, they rarely reduce communication. The essay effectively discusses both views on change and expresses a clear opinion. The language is generally precise and well-organized.
How to improve: To reach a higher band score, the writer could further enhance grammatical accuracy by paying closer attention to sentence structures and minimizing minor errors. Additionally, providing more specific examples and elaborating on certain points would contribute to a more detailed and well-developed response. Consider refining the conclusion to summarize the key points and strengthen the overall coherence of the essay.
Bài sửa mẫu
There exist two distinct groups of individuals: those who prefer a constant, unchanging routine, and those who thrive on embracing new experiences and challenges. In my perspective, a steady life offers satisfaction and comfort, yet occasional diversions are essential for a truly fulfilling existence.
The majority of people settle into a life with a somewhat predictable set of activities. However, some individuals take this to an extreme, resisting any alterations to their daily schedule. These are the individuals who secure a good job with one company and remain loyal throughout their entire careers. They stick to the familiar tastes of their mother’s cooking, and their closest friends are those from childhood. While their lives are easy and comfortable, they can become monotonous and uninteresting.
On the contrary, there are those who enthusiastically welcome anything new. They explore different types of cuisine, maintain a bucket list of places to visit, and enroll in adult education classes to expand their social circles. For them, nearly every day is a new challenge, and life is consistently exciting. Although they may encounter more failures and disappointments when things don’t unfold as expected, they simply move forward without dwelling on setbacks. Such a life is invigorating and full of challenges, albeit somewhat unstable and unsettling.
Personally, I find myself leaning towards a life that embraces stability while remaining open to change. I am opportunistic, always attentive to potential changes that could contribute to my overall happiness and satisfaction.
In conclusion, there are individuals at the extremes—those who resist change and those who actively seek it. However, I find myself somewhere in between, appreciating the value of stability while being unafraid of the positive changes that can enhance my life.