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Some people say it is more important to plant trees in the open spaces in towns and cities than to build more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say it is more important to plant trees in the open spaces in towns and cities than to build more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a common belief that prioritizing the planting of trees in urban areas holds greater importance than constructing additional housing in open spaces within towns and cities.While I understand why some people agree with this view, I personally believe that constructing additional housing remains beneficial.

Those who believe that prioritizing tree planting in urban areas over building more housing often present several compelling arguments.Perhaps one of these is that trees help mitigate air pollution, absorb carbon dioxide, and improve air quality. Moreover, they provide shade, reducing the urban heat island effect, and contribute to a more aesthetically pleasing environment.These factors contribute to motivating people to participate in outdoor activities, which have a positive impact on mental and psychological health.

Nevertheless,I would argue that building more housing continues to be advantageous due to several reasons.One primary benefit is the urgent need to address housing shortages, especially in rapidly growing urban areas, because growing populations necessitate adequate and affordable housing. Constructing more residences helps meet this demand by providing additional living spaces and accommodations for the increasing number of residents.Furthermore, the availability of more housing plays a crucial role in reducing homelessness and overcrowding. This leads to stability in the community and reduces stress on social support systems.

In conclusion,despite acknowledging the logic of advocating for the government to fill urban open spaces with trees,I still contend that prioritizing housing construction deserves greater attention and focus.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "holds greater importance than constructing" -> "holds greater significance than constructing"
    Explanation: Replacing "importance" with "significance" elevates the formality of the language while maintaining the intended meaning. It aligns better with the academic tone.

  2. "While I understand why some people agree with this view," -> "While I acknowledge the rationale behind those who support this perspective,"
    Explanation: Substituting "understand" with "acknowledge" and rephrasing "why some people agree with this view" to "the rationale behind those who support this perspective" enhances the formality of the expression.

  3. "Perhaps one of these is that trees help mitigate air pollution," -> "One such argument is that trees aid in mitigating air pollution,"
    Explanation: The revision removes the informal "Perhaps one of these is" and introduces a more direct and precise statement, aligning with academic style.

  4. "Moreover, they provide shade, reducing the urban heat island effect," -> "Additionally, they provide shade, mitigating the urban heat island effect,"
    Explanation: Substituting "Moreover" with "Additionally" and changing "reducing" to "mitigating" adds nuance and formality to the sentence.

  5. "Nevertheless," -> "However,"
    Explanation: "Nevertheless" is replaced with "However" for a more formal transition between opposing viewpoints.

  6. "One primary benefit is the urgent need to address housing shortages," -> "One primary advantage lies in the urgent need to alleviate housing shortages,"
    Explanation: The term "benefit" is replaced with "advantage," and the phrase is refined to "alleviate housing shortages" for a more formal and precise expression.

  7. "because growing populations necessitate adequate and affordable housing." -> "as burgeoning populations require sufficient and affordable housing."
    Explanation: The revision substitutes "because" with "as" for a more formal connection between clauses, and "necessitate" is replaced with "require" for added formality.

  8. "Furthermore, the availability of more housing plays a crucial role" -> "Moreover, the increased availability of housing plays a pivotal role"
    Explanation: The word "Furthermore" is replaced with "Moreover" for variety, and "plays a crucial role" is refined to "plays a pivotal role" for a more sophisticated tone.

  9. "In conclusion," -> "To conclude,"
    Explanation: The transition phrase "In conclusion" is replaced with the more concise "To conclude" for formality and brevity.

  10. "despite acknowledging the logic of advocating" -> "despite acknowledging the merit of advocating"
    Explanation: Substituting "logic" with "merit" and rephrasing "for the government to fill urban open spaces with trees" to "of advocating for the government to fill urban open spaces with trees" enhances the formality of the expression.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6 – UNDER WORD

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both perspectives, discussing the importance of tree planting and arguing for the priority of housing construction. However, the discussion of the housing perspective is relatively brief, and the essay does not delve deeply into the nuances of why some people may prioritize trees over housing.
    • How to improve: To improve, provide a more balanced exploration of both perspectives. Dedicate more attention to the housing perspective, offering a nuanced analysis of why some might prioritize trees. Consider incorporating specific examples or data to strengthen your points.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position in favor of housing construction, with the stance presented in the introduction and consistently supported throughout the essay. However, the argument for housing could be further strengthened by providing more specific examples or evidence.
    • How to improve: Strengthen your position by offering concrete examples or statistics that illustrate the benefits of housing construction. This will add depth to your argument and make it more persuasive.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas on both sides but lacks in-depth development. The arguments for tree planting are more detailed, with specific benefits outlined. The housing argument is somewhat brief and could benefit from more elaboration and support.
    • How to improve: Extend your ideas by providing more details on the benefits of housing construction. Include specific examples, statistics, or real-world scenarios to bolster your points and make the argument more compelling.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic but could be more focused on the nuances of the housing perspective. There is a risk of veering into a generic discussion of housing without directly addressing why some prioritize trees over housing.
    • How to improve: Ensure that each point made, especially in support of housing, directly relates to the question. Avoid generic statements and focus on the specific reasons why housing may be considered more important. This will make your argument more relevant to the prompt.

Overall, the essay provides a clear stance and addresses both sides of the argument, but improvements in depth, balance, and specificity of examples would elevate the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear overall organization with a discernible introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction presents the topic, the body paragraphs explore contrasting views on tree planting and housing construction, and the conclusion provides a concise summary. However, there is a slight imbalance in the depth of argumentation, with more emphasis on the benefits of housing construction. The logical sequence is maintained within paragraphs, though the depth of analysis could be more evenly distributed between the two perspectives.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, ensure a more balanced distribution of arguments between tree planting and housing construction. Each perspective should receive comparable attention to provide a well-rounded discussion. Consider refining the thesis statement to explicitly outline the structure of the essay, guiding the reader on the forthcoming arguments.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay is adequately paragraphed, with distinct sections for the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph contains a clear central idea and supporting details. However, the third paragraph is lengthy and covers multiple aspects of housing construction, which may slightly affect readability.
    • How to improve: Break down the third paragraph into smaller, more focused paragraphs. This will not only enhance readability but also allow for a more nuanced discussion of the various benefits of housing construction. Each paragraph should ideally address a specific point, contributing to a more organized and cohesive essay structure.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: Cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases, are used effectively to guide the reader through the essay. Examples include "Nevertheless," and "Furthermore," which help signal shifts between opposing viewpoints and supporting details. However, there is room to diversify the range of cohesive devices to add variety and sophistication.
    • How to improve: Introduce a broader array of cohesive devices to enhance the essay’s coherence. Consider incorporating synonyms for commonly used transition words and experimenting with different sentence structures to add variety. This will contribute to a more engaging and polished essay.

In summary, while the essay maintains a solid structure and effectively utilizes cohesive devices, improvements in balancing argumentation, paragraphing, and the diversification of cohesive devices can elevate the coherence and cohesion to a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary. For instance, it effectively employs varied terms such as "mitigate," "aesthetically pleasing," and "psychological health" to express ideas. The candidate also incorporates diverse vocabulary related to housing issues, such as "accommodations," "homelessness," and "overcrowding."
    • How to improve: To enhance the richness of vocabulary, consider integrating more academic and domain-specific terminology. For instance, using words like "urbanization," "sustainable development," or "habitat preservation" would add depth to the analysis.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with precision, conveying ideas clearly. However, there are instances where more precise terms could be employed. For example, in the phrase "positive impact on mental and psychological health," substituting "psychological well-being" for "psychological health" would enhance precision.
    • How to improve: Carefully choose words to ensure they capture the exact nuance of your intended meaning. Using synonyms or consulting a thesaurus may help identify more precise alternatives.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy with very few errors. Noteworthy is the correct spelling of terms such as "aesthetically," "construction," and "acknowledging."
    • How to improve: Maintain this standard of spelling accuracy by proofreading your work before submission. Pay attention to commonly misspelled words and consider using spelling and grammar-checking tools to catch any oversights.

This essay demonstrates a strong command of lexical resources, contributing to an overall band score of 8. To further improve, focus on incorporating more specialized vocabulary and refining precision in word choices. Additionally, continue to prioritize spelling accuracy through careful proofreading.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures, incorporating both complex and simple sentences. The writer employs a variety of connecting words and phrases, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay.
    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical range, consider incorporating more complex structures, such as compound and complex sentences, to showcase a higher level of syntactic variety. Additionally, experiment with different sentence beginnings and lengths to add dynamism to your writing.
  • Use Grammar Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains grammatical accuracy, with few instances of errors. For instance, the phrase "acknowledging the logic of advocating" may benefit from rephrasing for clarity.
    • How to improve: Review the essay for subtle grammatical errors and refine sentence structures for greater precision. Proofread carefully to catch instances of awkward phrasing and ensure that each sentence is grammatically sound. Consider seeking feedback from peers or utilizing grammar-check tools.
  • Use Correct Punctuation:

    • Detailed explanation: Punctuation is generally accurate, but there are a few instances where it could be refined. For example, in the sentence "There is a common belief that prioritizing the planting of trees in urban areas holds greater importance than constructing additional housing in open spaces within towns and cities," consider using a comma after "urban areas" to improve clarity.
    • How to improve: Pay close attention to punctuation rules, especially regarding comma usage and placement. Ensure that commas are used consistently to enhance readability. Consider reading the essay aloud to identify areas where punctuation adjustments can improve the flow and comprehension.

Bài sửa mẫu

There is a common belief that prioritizing the planting of trees in urban areas holds greater importance than constructing additional housing in open spaces within towns and cities. While I understand why some people agree with this view, I personally believe that constructing additional housing remains beneficial.

Those who believe that prioritizing tree planting in urban areas over building more housing often present several compelling arguments. Perhaps one of these is that trees help mitigate air pollution, absorb carbon dioxide, and improve air quality. Additionally, they provide shade, reducing the urban heat island effect, and contribute to a more aesthetically pleasing environment. These factors contribute to motivating people to participate in outdoor activities, which have a positive impact on mental and psychological health.

However, I would argue that building more housing continues to be advantageous due to several reasons. One primary benefit is the urgent need to address housing shortages, especially in rapidly growing urban areas, because growing populations necessitate adequate and affordable housing. Constructing more residences helps meet this demand by providing additional living spaces and accommodations for the increasing number of residents. Furthermore, the availability of more housing plays a crucial role in reducing homelessness and overcrowding. This leads to stability in the community and reduces stress on social support systems.

To conclude, despite acknowledging the logic of advocating for the government to fill urban open spaces with trees, I still contend that prioritizing housing construction deserves greater attention and focus.

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