some people say that doing physical exercises is the best way to stay fit. Others say that diet is more important Discuss both views and give your opinion

some people say that doing physical exercises is the best way to stay fit. Others say that diet is more important
Discuss both views and give your opinion

In the recent world, the obesity epidemic is becoming widespread,X there has been considerable debate regarding potential solutions, some of which are a workout and diet. I believe that a balanced diet is essential, but the benefits of physical exercises should not be skipped.
Proponents of physical activities believe that it creates a charming appearance and provides physical health. For instance, there are many exercises that reduce the amount of calories in our body; therefore, it improves the physique, making it more attractive. In addition, strenuous activities require us to work harder to burn calories, so people will lose weight and stay in shape, consequently enabling a stronger metabolism and thus helps boosting stamina. Moreover, it can efficiently raise confidence and interact with the others by enjoying outdoor activities such as sports, especially teamwork activities. However, if working out isn't combined with a balanced healthy diet, there will not be any effects.
Nevertheless, diet in general can be a major factor to determine individuals’ well being. For example, selecting the food you eat can actually measure nutritional values absorbed in the body which prevents overweight, reducing the risk of diseases such as diabetes, cancer, obesity,…etc. Furthermore, if you build a healthy diet, your body will be provided with adequate nutrition and energy for the whole day.
In conclusion, both physical activities and diet have their own benefits that affect health; however, it only works if we combine both methods properly.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In the recent world" -> "In the contemporary world"
Explanation: "In the recent world" is vague and informal. "In the contemporary world" is more precise and formal, suitable for academic writing.
"X there has been considerable debate" -> "There has been considerable debate"
Explanation: The "X" is unnecessary and incorrect. Removing it corrects the syntax and maintains the formal tone.
"a workout and diet" -> "exercise and dietary habits"
Explanation: "a workout" is informal and imprecise; "exercise" is more formal and appropriate. "Diet" is too broad; "dietary habits" specifies the context more accurately.
"creates a charming appearance" -> "enhances physical appearance"
Explanation: "Creates a charming appearance" is overly emotional and informal. "Enhances physical appearance" is more neutral and academically appropriate.
"therefore, it improves the physique" -> "therefore, it improves physical appearance"
Explanation: "it" is unclear and imprecise; specifying "physical appearance" clarifies the subject and maintains formality.
"making it more attractive" -> "resulting in improved physical appearance"
Explanation: "making it more attractive" is informal and vague. "Resulting in improved physical appearance" is more precise and formal.
"strenuous activities require us to work harder" -> "strenuous activities necessitate increased effort"
Explanation: "require us to work harder" is informal and slightly awkward. "Necessitate increased effort" is more formal and precise.
"so people will lose weight and stay in shape" -> "resulting in weight loss and improved physical fitness"
Explanation: "so people will lose weight and stay in shape" is informal and conversational. "Resulting in weight loss and improved physical fitness" is more formal and specific.
"thus helps boosting stamina" -> "thus enhances stamina"
Explanation: "helps boosting" is grammatically incorrect and informal. "Enhances" is grammatically correct and maintains formality.
"can efficiently raise confidence" -> "can significantly enhance confidence"
Explanation: "can efficiently raise" is awkward and less formal. "Can significantly enhance" is more precise and formal.
"interact with the others" -> "interact with others"
Explanation: "the others" is redundant; "others" is sufficient and more formal.
"especially teamwork activities" -> "particularly team-based activities"
Explanation: "especially teamwork activities" is redundant. "Particularly team-based activities" avoids redundancy and enhances formality.
"if working out isn’t combined with a balanced healthy diet" -> "if exercise is not combined with a balanced diet"
Explanation: "working out" is informal; "exercise" is more formal. "A balanced healthy diet" is redundant; "a balanced diet" is sufficient.
"there will not be any effects" -> "there will be no effects"
Explanation: "there will not be any effects" is awkward and informal. "There will be no effects" is grammatically correct and maintains formality.
"diet in general can be a major factor" -> "diet in general is a significant factor"
Explanation: "can be" implies possibility, which is less definitive; "is" asserts the fact, which is more suitable for academic writing.
"selecting the food you eat" -> "selecting the foods consumed"
Explanation: "the food you eat" is informal and personal. "The foods consumed" is more formal and general.
"which prevents overweight" -> "which prevents obesity"
Explanation: "overweight" is not the correct term in this context; "obesity" is the appropriate medical term.
"reducing the risk of diseases such as diabetes, cancer, obesity,…etc." -> "reducing the risk of diseases such as diabetes, cancer, and obesity"
Explanation: The ellipsis and "…" are informal and unclear. Using "and" and a comma after "cancer" clarifies the list and maintains formality.
"your body will be provided with adequate nutrition and energy for the whole day" -> "your body will receive adequate nutrition and energy throughout the day"
Explanation: "will be provided with" is slightly informal and verbose. "Will receive" is more direct and formal, and "throughout the day" is more precise than "for the whole day."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both views regarding the importance of physical exercise and diet in staying fit. However, it lacks a thorough exploration of each perspective. The discussion on physical exercise is somewhat limited, primarily focusing on its aesthetic benefits and general health improvements. The section on diet, while informative, does not adequately contrast with the exercise viewpoint or delve deeply into its significance. The conclusion attempts to reconcile both views but lacks a clear, definitive opinion on which is more important.
- How to improve: To enhance this aspect, the essay should clearly outline the arguments for both physical exercise and diet, providing balanced coverage. Each viewpoint should be discussed in separate paragraphs, with specific examples and evidence to support claims. Additionally, a more explicit personal opinion should be articulated in the conclusion, emphasizing which approach is deemed more critical and why.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay states a belief in the importance of a balanced diet while acknowledging the benefits of physical exercise. However, this position is not consistently reinforced throughout the essay. The initial statement suggests a preference for diet, but the subsequent paragraphs do not clearly reflect this stance, leading to some ambiguity regarding the author’s overall position.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the author should consistently refer back to their opinion in each paragraph. Phrases like "In my view" or "I believe" can be used to reiterate the stance, especially when discussing the merits of each side. A more definitive conclusion that restates the position would also help clarify the author’s viewpoint.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas regarding the benefits of both physical exercise and diet, but these ideas are not fully developed. For example, while it mentions that exercise can improve metabolism and confidence, it does not provide sufficient detail or examples to substantiate these claims. Similarly, the discussion on diet lacks depth, with only a brief mention of nutritional values and health risks.
- How to improve: To improve this area, the author should elaborate on each point made. This could involve providing specific examples, statistics, or studies that illustrate the benefits of exercise and diet. Additionally, using more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures can help in extending ideas more effectively.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the importance of physical exercise and diet in relation to fitness. However, there are moments where the focus wavers, particularly in the transition between discussing exercise and diet. The phrase "if working out isn’t combined with a balanced healthy diet, there will not be any effects" introduces a somewhat off-topic argument about the necessity of combining both approaches without adequately linking it back to the main discussion.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that each paragraph directly relates back to the main question. Clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help guide the reader and keep the discussion relevant. Additionally, transitions between points should be smooth and logical, reinforcing the connection between exercise, diet, and overall fitness.

Overall, to improve the essay and potentially raise the band score, the author should aim for a more balanced exploration of both views, consistently present their position, provide detailed support for their ideas, and maintain a clear focus throughout the discussion. Additionally, addressing the word count issue by expanding on ideas and providing more examples will also be beneficial.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s stance. The body paragraphs are effectively divided into two sections: one discussing the benefits of physical exercise and the other focusing on diet. However, the transition between the two views could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing physical activities to diet feels abrupt and could benefit from a linking sentence that highlights the relationship between the two perspectives.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that connect ideas more fluidly. For example, after discussing the benefits of physical exercise, a sentence like "While physical activity plays a crucial role, it is equally important to consider the impact of diet on overall health" could serve as a bridge to the next paragraph.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the discussion. The first paragraph addresses the benefits of physical exercise, while the second focuses on diet. However, the conclusion lacks a strong summarization of the key points made in the body paragraphs, which can leave the reader wanting a clearer synthesis of the arguments presented.
- How to improve: Strengthen the conclusion by briefly reiterating the main points discussed in each paragraph. This not only reinforces the arguments but also provides a clear takeaway for the reader. For example, you could summarize by stating, "In summary, while physical exercise enhances physical appearance and health, a balanced diet is crucial for long-term well-being."
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "for instance," "however," and "moreover," which help to connect ideas within and between sentences. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between ideas could be more explicit. For example, the phrase "Nevertheless" is used to introduce the diet paragraph, but a more varied approach could enhance the overall cohesiveness of the essay.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "on the other hand," "in contrast," or "additionally." This will help to create clearer connections between contrasting ideas and reinforce the relationships between different points. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately to maintain clarity and coherence.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, enhancing the logical flow, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will contribute to a stronger overall performance in coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary related to the topic of fitness and health, such as "obesity epidemic," "balanced diet," "physical activities," and "nutritional values." However, the use of phrases like "charming appearance" and "stronger metabolism" feels somewhat awkward or imprecise, which detracts from the overall effectiveness of the vocabulary.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer could incorporate more varied synonyms and expressions. For instance, instead of "charming appearance," phrases like "aesthetic appeal" or "physical attractiveness" could be used. Additionally, using terms like "metabolic rate" instead of "stronger metabolism" would improve precision and sophistication.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "workout" and "work harder," which are somewhat vague. The phrase "the benefits of physical exercises should not be skipped" is also unclear; it could be interpreted in multiple ways. Furthermore, the use of "diet in general can be a major factor to determine individuals’ well being" could be more effectively expressed.
- How to improve: The writer should focus on using more specific terms that convey exact meanings. For example, instead of "workout," the writer could specify "structured exercise routines." Rephrasing "diet in general" to "dietary choices" would enhance clarity. Encouraging the use of collocations, such as "maintaining a healthy diet" or "engaging in regular physical activity," would also improve precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors, such as "individuals’ well being" (should be "well-being") and "overweight" (which is used as a noun instead of an adjective). Additionally, the phrase "boosting stamina" is correctly spelled but could be better integrated into the sentence structure.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully, perhaps reading it aloud to catch errors. Utilizing spell-check tools and practicing commonly misspelled words can also be beneficial. Regularly engaging with vocabulary exercises or quizzes can reinforce correct spelling in context.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future IELTS writing tasks.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of phrases like "therefore, it improves the physique" and "if working out isn’t combined with a balanced healthy diet" showcases the ability to form conditional and causal relationships effectively. However, there are instances where the sentence structures could be more varied. For instance, the phrase "the obesity epidemic is becoming widespread" could be rephrased to enhance complexity, such as "the prevalence of obesity is increasingly alarming."
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences with embedded clauses or varying the sentence openings. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "In addition" or "However," try using participial phrases or adverbial clauses to create more engaging sentence beginnings. Additionally, integrating more varied conjunctions and transition phrases can help enhance the flow and complexity of the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay shows a reasonable level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that detract from clarity. For example, the phrase "the benefits of physical exercises should not be skipped" could be more effectively phrased as "the benefits of physical exercise should not be overlooked." Additionally, punctuation errors, such as the incorrect use of a comma before "X" in the first sentence and the improper ellipsis in "such as diabetes, cancer, obesity,…etc." indicate a need for improvement. The ellipsis should be replaced with "etc." or "and so on" without the preceding comma.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, focus on proofreading for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and article usage. For instance, "physical exercises" could be simplified to "exercise" for better clarity. Additionally, practicing punctuation rules, especially concerning commas and conjunctions, will help in achieving a more polished writing style. Consider reviewing grammar resources or using grammar-checking tools to identify and correct errors before finalizing the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and a commendable range of grammatical structures, attention to detail in sentence variety and grammatical accuracy will further enhance the overall quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the contemporary world, the obesity epidemic is becoming increasingly widespread. There has been considerable debate regarding potential solutions, with some advocating for physical exercise and others emphasizing the importance of diet. I believe that a balanced diet is essential, but the benefits of physical exercise should not be overlooked.

Proponents of physical activities argue that they enhance physical appearance and contribute to overall health. For instance, there are many exercises that help reduce the number of calories in our bodies; therefore, they improve physique, making it more attractive. In addition, strenuous activities necessitate increased effort to burn calories, resulting in weight loss and improved physical fitness, consequently enabling a stronger metabolism and thus enhancing stamina. Moreover, engaging in physical activities can significantly boost confidence and facilitate interaction with others, particularly through team-based activities such as sports. However, if exercise is not combined with a balanced diet, there will be no effects.

On the other hand, diet in general is a significant factor in determining individuals’ well-being. For example, selecting the foods consumed can greatly influence the nutritional values absorbed by the body, which prevents obesity and reduces the risk of diseases such as diabetes, cancer, and obesity. Furthermore, by maintaining a healthy diet, your body will receive adequate nutrition and energy throughout the day.

In conclusion, both physical activities and diet have their own benefits that affect health; however, they are most effective when combined properly.