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Some people say that it is wrong to make students do a lot of homework. Others believe that without hardwork it is not possible to become successful in life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that it is wrong to make students do a lot of homework. Others believe that without hardwork it is not possible to become successful in life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recend decades, It is commonly opined that school homeworks should be immediately decreased for students due to the huge drawbacks its involved. While many people concede that giving too much assignments can results in several potential consequences, I firmly advocate that larger amount of exercises will have more significant merits.

On the one hand, there are justifications of the idea of a diminution in deadlines for pupils should be put into consideration. To begin with, It stands to the reason that the pressure to fulfill school assignments everyday can overwhelm graders, particularly when they are also participate in extracurricular activities or bonus classes, therby leading to the deficiency of relaxation and entertainment for undergraduates. Besides, substantial amount of theoretical exercises do not guarantee the educational outcomes. For instance, an immense rate of Vietnamese pupils tend to solve their assignments by duplicating solutions in learning websites, which can lead to the over-reliance of teenagers on the Internet sources.

On the other hand, there are ample reasons to justify why the harder quantity of exercises will have more significant merits. Firstly, students can solidify comprehension and enhance their academic performance by regularly engaging with studying materials. In addition, facing demanding tasks can prepare for students for the rigors of higher education and competitive job markets, thereby making them become more resilient and adaptable with the society. Furthermore, taxing assignments have probability to thrive students’ time-management skill and problem-solving skill, which assist pupils a strong foundation and sustainable range of knowledge before joining in professional success.

In summary, despite several mentioned constraints of intensive homeworks, It is my resolute assurance that heavier workload has the potential to accelerate student success by fostering necessary skills and habits that can intensify the suitability and adaptation of learners with business environment.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "recend" -> "recent"
    Explanation: "Recend" is a misspelling of "recent." Using the correct spelling enhances the professionalism and clarity of the essay.

  2. "It is commonly opined that" -> "It is widely believed that"
    Explanation: "Commonly opined" is somewhat informal and redundant. "Widely believed" is a more formal and concise alternative that maintains the intended meaning.

  3. "school homeworks" -> "school homework"
    Explanation: "Homeworks" is grammatically incorrect; "homework" should be used as a non-countable noun in this context.

  4. "its involved" -> "involved in it"
    Explanation: "Its involved" lacks clarity and proper structure. Rewording to "involved in it" maintains clarity and grammatical correctness.

  5. "concede" -> "acknowledge"
    Explanation: "Concede" is more commonly used in the context of admitting defeat or a point in an argument. "Acknowledge" is a better fit for expressing recognition or acceptance of an idea.

  6. "results" -> "result"
    Explanation: "Results" should be singular to agree with the singular subject "giving too much assignments."

  7. "merits" -> "benefits"
    Explanation: While "merits" is not incorrect, "benefits" is a more straightforward and commonly used term in this context.

  8. "diminution in deadlines" -> "reduction in homework deadlines"
    Explanation: "Diminution in deadlines" is awkward and unclear. "Reduction in homework deadlines" is more precise and easier to understand.

  9. "graders" -> "students"
    Explanation: "Graders" typically refers to individuals who assess exams or assignments, not students themselves. "Students" is the appropriate term here.

  10. "participate" -> "participating"
    Explanation: Using the gerund form "participating" maintains parallelism with the previous gerund "fulfilling."

  11. "therby" -> "thereby"
    Explanation: "Therby" is a misspelling of "thereby." "Thereby" is the correct adverb to indicate consequence or result.

  12. "the deficiency of relaxation and entertainment" -> "a lack of relaxation and leisure activities"
    Explanation: "Deficiency of relaxation and entertainment" is awkward and lacks precision. "A lack of relaxation and leisure activities" conveys the same idea more clearly.

  13. "undergraduates" -> "students"
    Explanation: "Undergraduates" specifically refers to students in their first four years of college. "Students" is a more inclusive term for learners in various educational levels.

  14. "substantial amount of theoretical exercises" -> "a significant volume of theoretical assignments"
    Explanation: "Substantial amount of theoretical exercises" is wordy and awkward. "A significant volume of theoretical assignments" is more concise and clear.

  15. "do not guarantee the educational outcomes" -> "do not guarantee educational achievement"
    Explanation: Simplifying "educational outcomes" to "educational achievement" maintains clarity and conciseness without altering the meaning.

  16. "an immense rate of Vietnamese pupils" -> "a significant number of Vietnamese students"
    Explanation: "Immense rate" is an unnatural phrase. "A significant number of Vietnamese students" is a more appropriate and clearer expression.

  17. "duplicating solutions" -> "copying solutions"
    Explanation: "Duplicating solutions" is technically correct but sounds overly formal. "Copying solutions" is simpler and more commonly used.

  18. "over-reliance of teenagers" -> "over-reliance among teenagers"
    Explanation: "Over-reliance of teenagers" lacks grammatical correctness. "Over-reliance among teenagers" is the correct structure to convey the idea of dependence within this group.

  19. "harder quantity of exercises" -> "greater quantity of assignments"
    Explanation: "Harder quantity of exercises" is awkward and unclear. "Greater quantity of assignments" conveys the intended meaning more effectively.

  20. "solidify comprehension" -> "enhance understanding"
    Explanation: "Solidify comprehension" is a bit redundant. "Enhance understanding" maintains clarity and conciseness.

  21. "rigors of higher education" -> "challenges of higher education"
    Explanation: "Rigors" is a less common term in this context. "Challenges of higher education" is clearer and more commonly used.

  22. "competitive job markets" -> "competitive employment markets"
    Explanation: "Job markets" is slightly informal. "Employment markets" is a more formal alternative that maintains the intended meaning.

  23. "taxing assignments have probability to thrive" -> "challenging assignments have the potential to foster"
    Explanation: "Taxing assignments have probability to thrive" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. "Challenging assignments have the potential to foster" is clearer and more grammatically sound.

  24. "time-management skill and problem-solving skill" -> "time-management and problem-solving skills"
    Explanation: "Skill" should be plural to match "time-management." Using the plural form maintains parallelism within the phrase.

  25. "assist pupils a strong foundation" -> "assist pupils in building a strong foundation"
    Explanation: "Assist pupils a strong foundation" lacks proper structure. "Assist pupils in building a strong foundation" is grammatically correct and clearer.

  26. "professional success" -> "career success"
    Explanation: "Professional success" could be interpreted as success within a specific profession. "Career success" is broader and more fitting in this context.

  27. "It is my resolute assurance" -> "I am firmly convinced"
    Explanation: "It is my resolute assurance" is overly formal and verbose. "I am firmly convinced" is more concise and natural while conveying the same level of certainty.

  28. "accelerate student success" -> "enhance student success"
    Explanation: "Accelerate student success" implies a rapid increase in success, which may not be the intended meaning. "Enhance student success" is a more neutral and appropriate term.

  29. "intensify the suitability and adaptation of learners with business environment" -> "enhance students’ adaptability and suitability for the business environment"
    Explanation: "Intensify the suitability and adaptation of learners with business environment" is convoluted and unclear. "Enhance students’ adaptability and suitability for the business environment" is clearer and more concise.

By addressing these errors and suggesting improvements, the essay becomes more polished, clearer, and better suited for academic discourse.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both perspectives outlined in the prompt. It discusses the arguments against excessive homework, such as stress and reliance on internet sources, and also presents counterarguments supporting the importance of challenging assignments for academic and personal development.
    • How to improve: While the essay covers both views, it could enhance its depth by providing more specific examples or data to support each perspective. Additionally, ensuring a clearer structure with separate paragraphs for each viewpoint could improve the organization and coherence of the response.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position in favor of heavier homework loads throughout the response. This stance is evident from the introductory paragraph through to the conclusion, where the writer asserts the benefits of challenging assignments for student success.
    • How to improve: While the position is clear, the essay could strengthen its argument by providing more nuanced reasoning or addressing potential counterarguments. Including a brief acknowledgment of opposing views and then refuting them could bolster the persuasive impact of the argument.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas but lacks depth in their development and support. For instance, it mentions the benefits of challenging assignments for academic performance and resilience but does not provide detailed examples or evidence to substantiate these claims.
    • How to improve: To enhance the presentation of ideas, the essay should include specific examples, studies, or personal anecdotes to illustrate the advantages of rigorous homework. Additionally, extending the discussion of each point with further explanation or analysis would strengthen the argument and engage the reader more effectively.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing the pros and cons of homework in relation to student success. However, there are some instances of tangential discussion, such as mentioning extracurricular activities and internet reliance, which are less directly relevant to the central argument.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, the essay should ensure that all examples and explanations directly contribute to the discussion of homework’s impact on student success. Avoiding tangents and ensuring that each paragraph relates clearly to the main argument will improve coherence and relevance.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position, there is room for improvement in providing more detailed support for ideas and maintaining focus throughout the response. By incorporating specific examples, strengthening the argumentation, and refining the organization, the essay could achieve an even higher score for Task Response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to present a balanced discussion of both perspectives on homework, but its organization is somewhat disjointed. The introduction lacks clarity and coherence due to grammatical errors ("In recend decades" should be "In recent decades"). There is an attempt to introduce the topic and both viewpoints, but the argumentation lacks smooth transitions between ideas. The body paragraphs do introduce arguments for and against homework, but the development of these points lacks a clear logical progression. The conclusion attempts to summarize the main points but does so abruptly without a strong closure.

    • How to improve: To enhance the logical flow and structure, begin with a clearer and error-free introduction that sets up the discussion and your stance more concisely. Ensure each body paragraph focuses on a distinct argument or viewpoint, using topic sentences to guide the reader. Use linking words and phrases (e.g., "On the one hand," "On the other hand," "Furthermore") more effectively to connect ideas between paragraphs. Conclude with a more robust summary that ties back to the main argument.

  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs, but they are not consistently effective in structuring the content. Paragraphs should ideally contain a single main idea or argument, followed by supporting details or examples. In this essay, paragraphs are somewhat lengthy and lack clear organization within them. For example, the second paragraph attempts to discuss drawbacks of homework but mixes different ideas without clear transitions.

    • How to improve: Aim for clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to signal the main point. Ensure each paragraph develops a single idea or argument coherently. Consider breaking longer paragraphs into shorter ones for improved readability and clarity. Use transitions within paragraphs to guide the reader through your thought process.

  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay incorporates some cohesive devices (e.g., "on the one hand," "besides," "furthermore"), but their usage is limited and sometimes awkward. More cohesive devices could be used to better connect ideas and improve overall coherence. Some sentences lack smooth transitions between thoughts, making the progression of ideas less clear.

    • How to improve: Introduce a wider variety of cohesive devices such as pronouns ("these," "those"), conjunctions ("however," "in addition"), and transitional phrases ("in summary," "consequently"). Ensure these devices are used appropriately to link sentences and paragraphs logically. Review the essay to identify areas where smoother transitions are needed and apply appropriate cohesive devices to enhance readability.

Overall, while the essay attempts to address the prompt and present arguments coherently, there is room for improvement in terms of logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices. Enhancing these aspects will contribute to a more effective and cohesive essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, including some advanced vocabulary such as "diminution," "concede," "rigors," "resilient," and "thriving." However, there are instances of repetitive word choices and some inaccuracies in word usage.
    • How to improve: To enhance the lexical range, aim to incorporate a wider variety of vocabulary relevant to the topic. Avoid repetition of words and phrases, and consider using synonyms or alternative expressions. Additionally, focus on using vocabulary accurately and appropriately within the context of each sentence.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: There are instances where vocabulary is used imprecisely or inaccurately, such as "In recend decades" (recent), "therby" (thereby), and "taxing assignments have probability to thrive" (probability to improve). However, there are also examples of precise vocabulary usage, such as "immense rate" and "rigors of higher education."
    • How to improve: To improve precision in vocabulary usage, carefully consider the meaning and context of each word before incorporating it into the essay. Utilize dictionaries or thesauruses to ensure accurate word choice, and proofread the essay thoroughly to identify and correct any errors in vocabulary usage.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, including "recend" (recent), "homeworks" (homework), "therby" (thereby), "rigers" (rigors), and "success by fostering necessary skills and habits that can intensify the suitability and adaptation" (intensify the student’s suitability and adaptability). These errors detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay.
    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spell-checking tools or software during the writing process. Additionally, allocate time for proofreading to identify and correct any spelling errors before submitting the final essay. Developing a habit of reviewing spelling patterns and common errors can also contribute to improved spelling proficiency over time.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable attempt to vary sentence structures, incorporating both simple and complex constructions. However, there is room for improvement in the diversity and complexity of structures. For example, while there are instances of compound sentences ("While many people concede…"), complex sentences ("To begin with, It stands to reason…"), and conditional structures ("Firstly, students can solidify comprehension…"), there is a tendency towards repetitive sentence structures, which may limit the essay’s fluency and sophistication.
    • How to improve: To enhance the essay’s effectiveness, strive for greater diversity in sentence structures. Introduce a wider range of complex sentences, including those with subordinate clauses, participial phrases, and relative clauses. Varying sentence lengths and patterns can also add fluency and coherence to your writing.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a proficient command of grammar and punctuation. However, there are notable instances of grammatical errors and punctuation inaccuracies throughout the text. For example, there are issues with subject-verb agreement ("In recend decades…"; "substantial amount of theoretical exercises do not guarantee…"), incorrect word usage ("diminution in deadlines" should be "reduction in homework deadlines"), and punctuation errors (missing commas before introductory phrases, inconsistent capitalization).
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, carefully review sentence structure and subject-verb agreement. Proofreading for errors in verb tense consistency and word choice can also enhance the clarity and precision of your writing. Additionally, pay attention to punctuation rules, including the use of commas, apostrophes, and capitalization. Consistent application of these conventions will contribute to a polished and professional writing style.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent decades, it is widely believed that school homework should be reduced for students due to the significant drawbacks it entails. While many acknowledge that giving too many assignments can result in several potential consequences, I am firmly convinced that a greater volume of exercises will bring about more significant benefits.

On the one hand, there are justifications for the idea that a reduction in homework deadlines for students should be considered. To begin with, it stands to reason that the pressure to complete school assignments every day can overwhelm students, particularly when they are also involved in extracurricular activities or extra classes, thereby leading to a lack of relaxation and leisure activities for students. Besides, a significant volume of theoretical assignments does not guarantee educational achievement. For instance, a significant number of Vietnamese students tend to copy solutions from learning websites, which can result in over-reliance among teenagers on internet sources.

On the other hand, there are ample reasons to justify why a greater quantity of assignments will have more significant merits. Firstly, students can enhance understanding and solidify comprehension by regularly engaging with study materials. In addition, facing challenging tasks can prepare students for the demands of higher education and competitive employment markets, thereby making them more resilient and adaptable in society. Furthermore, challenging assignments have the potential to foster students’ time-management and problem-solving skills, which assist pupils in building a strong foundation and sustainable range of knowledge before entering professional success.

In summary, despite the mentioned constraints of intensive homework, I firmly believe that a heavier workload has the potential to enhance student success by fostering necessary skills and habits that can improve students’ adaptability and suitability for the business environment.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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